10 books like The New Rules of Marriage

By Terrence Real,

Here are 10 books that authors have personally recommended if you like The New Rules of Marriage. Shepherd is a community of 9,000+ authors sharing their favorite books with the world.

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The Coddling of the American Mind

By Greg Lukianoff, Jonathan Haidt,

Book cover of The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

Christopher Dale Author Of Better Halves: Rebuilding a Post-Addiction Marriage

From the list on couples recovering from addiction.

Who am I?

I’m a husband, father, writer, and recovering addict – and not necessarily in that order. Early in my marriage, I became a full-blown, low-bottom cocaine addict. While it wasn’t surprising that active addiction nearly led to divorce, my wife and I were baffled and discouraged when my newfound sobriety brought its own existential marital issues. Frustratingly, there was a dearth of resources for couples in recovery, especially compared to the ample support available to recovering addicts. As an avid freelance writer, I decided to add to this sparse genre by sharing our struggles, setbacks, and successes en route to a happy, secure marriage. 

Christopher's book list on couples recovering from addiction

Discover why each book is one of Christopher's favorite books.

Why did Christopher love this book?

What’s a book against language policing and cancel culture doing on a list about post-addiction marriage? Simple: the self-obsessed, oft-offended nonsense permeating universities exemplifies what married couples in recovery must roundly reject. 

The book’s co-authors – a social psychologist and a free speech activist – profess three Great Untruths adversely affecting Generation Z: 

What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. This prompts us to avoid narratives challenging our preconceived notions or personal experiences. 

Always trust your feelings. Among other problems, unquestionably trusting our feelings leads to taking offense when none is intended.

Life is a battle between good and evil people. This leads to a blame-first mentality that assumes the worst about others. 

They may as well have been speaking to married couples attempting to stay together post-recovery.

By Greg Lukianoff, Jonathan Haidt,

Why should I read it?

5 authors picked The Coddling of the American Mind as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

New York Times Bestseller * Finalist for the 2018 National Book Critics Circle Award in Nonfiction * A New York Times Notable Book * Bloomberg Best Book of 2018

"Their distinctive contribution to the higher-education debate is to meet safetyism on its own, psychological turf . . . Lukianoff and Haidt tell us that safetyism undermines the freedom of inquiry and speech that are indispensable to universities." -Jonathan Marks, Commentary

"The remedies the book outlines should be considered on college campuses, among parents of current and future students, and by anyone longing for a more sane society." -Pittsburgh Post-Gazette


Nonviolent Communication

By Marshall B. Rosenberg,

Book cover of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Elisa Di Napoli Author Of Dare to Be Seen

From the list on for personal growth.

Who am I?

I spent most of my youth feeling lost and miserable but refused to accept this as my fate and dedicated my life to improving my experience and that of others. I'm not content with just surviving. I want to feel like I'm fully living. I want to be able to say that I regret nothing, and that I said yes to this mysterious and challenging gift that life is. In order to do this I believe in learning from those that have come before me. Books open the door to universes of wisdom and understanding. Being a writer, coach and musician are just roles I play. What really matters to me is to be a human I can be proud of. 

Elisa's book list on for personal growth

Discover why each book is one of Elisa's favorite books.

Why did Elisa love this book?

Learning to communicate in a way that creates a win-win situation for everyone is a skill. Often we get what we want to the detriment of others or the other way round. Nobody wins and the ultimate consequence is nobody is happy. I really like how practical this book is and how it taught me to speak in a different way entirely! It’s all well and good to know the theory of how negative language can destroy relationships but knowing how to communicate differently is what really matters. I like books with exercises I can put into practice as well as the theory that underpins them. This is what gets me to pick this book up and go through it again twenty years after I first bought it.  

By Marshall B. Rosenberg,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Nonviolent Communication as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


What is Violent Communication?
If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
• Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and…


By Glennon Doyle,

Book cover of Untamed

Kaighla Rises Author Of Evryn, The Light

From the list on remembering you’re 100% that bitch.

Who am I?

I am a writer, poet, and seeker, creating art that empowers women to choose their own destiny and live their truth, authentically. I’ve spent the better part of my life feeling powerless, victimized, and alone. For years, I lived in situations that demanded that I give up my power and subjugate myself to men in order to be respected and welcomed into my community. And then, after a period of extreme trauma, I learned how I had been brainwashed. So I have made it my life’s mission to spread this one message: you have all the power you will ever need, right now, within you. Claim it.

Kaighla's book list on remembering you’re 100% that bitch

Discover why each book is one of Kaighla's favorite books.

Why did Kaighla love this book?

When my husband left me, I was distraught and confused. I had done all I could to force myself into the box he built for me, to be the perfect wife and mother, and he still left. In the middle of my spiral of hurt and self-hate, a friend recommended this book to me, and I devoured it in a matter of days. 

In Untamed, Glennon—who also did all she could to be the perfect wife and mother before her ex-husband engaged in a string of affairs—argues for women to stop killing and abandoning themselves to win the love and appreciation of other people (especially men) and to instead claim their own power and live the life that they want to live.

This was the first book I ever read that argued, in no unclear language, that women have the right and responsibility—as all people do—to stand up and…

By Glennon Doyle,

Why should I read it?

13 authors picked Untamed as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick)

In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us.

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY O: The Oprah Magazine • The Washington Post • Cosmopolitan • Marie Claire • Bloomberg • Parade •…


By Susan Cain,

Book cover of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Ingrid Biese Author Of Men Do It Too: Opting Out and In

From the list on to change working life as we know it.

Who am I?

In 2009, I opted out of a career in consulting to pursue a PhD in Sociology and to research women who opt out of successful careers to live and work on their own terms. I was convinced that it wasn’t a women’s issue but a contemporary one and I later went on to research men opting out. As I collect stories of people who opt out and in, it becomes clear that opting out is a symptom of contemporary organizational cultures and the way we are expected to work. I’m on a mission to change working life as we know it and these books have been enormously helpful to me. 

Ingrid's book list on to change working life as we know it

Discover why each book is one of Ingrid's favorite books.

Why did Ingrid love this book?

I really liked this book, mainly because I finally felt seen and understood.

I’m not your typical introvert, which has always made me feel a little bit at odds. But this book has also been an eye opener for me regarding organizational cultures and the workplaces we create (starting already in business schools), that favor extraverts and a certain way of acting and being.

It highlights yet another form of diversity that is generally overlooked, even though, ironically, highly successful leaders in the business world often don’t even fit the mold themselves.  

By Susan Cain,

Why should I read it?

10 authors picked Quiet as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?



Our lives are driven by a fact that most of us can't name and don't understand. It defines who our friends and lovers are, which careers we choose, and whether we blush when we're embarrassed.

That fact is whether we're an introvert or an extrovert.

The most fundamental dimension of personality, at least a third of us are introverts, and yet shyness, sensitivity and seriousness are often seen as…

Playing the Enemy

By John Carlin,

Book cover of Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Made a Nation

Larry Olmsted Author Of Fans: How Watching Sports Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Understanding

From the list on Sports Fans.

Who am I?

As a New York Times Bestselling author, award-winning journalist, and visiting professor at Dartmouth College, who has written for the biggest newspapers and magazines worldwide, I look for interesting untold stories for my books. As a result, I spent the past five years researching the topic of sports fandom, what makes people fans, and how it affects them and our society.

Larry's book list on Sports Fans

Discover why each book is one of Larry's favorite books.

Why did Larry love this book?

One of the many benefits of sports fandom I researched is its use in international affairs, nation-building, and the peace process. There is no better example of this than what has been called the “South African Miracle,” and in this great book, veteran English journalist Carlin, who was in the country for years covering its politics, shows how the late great Nelson Mandela, Nobel Peace Prize winner and South Africa’s first black President, used the intense fandom behind the nation’s beloved spectator sport, rugby, to ease the transition from apartheid to democracy and prevent an almost inevitable Civil War. The book was later the basis for the Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon movie Invictus.

By John Carlin,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Playing the Enemy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Read the book that inspired the Academy Award and Golden Globe winning 2009 film INVICTUS featuring Morgan Freeman and Matt Daymon, directed by Clint Eastwood.

Beginning in a jail cell and ending in a rugby tournament- the true story of how the most inspiring charm offensive in history brought South Africa together. After being released from prison and winning South Africa's first free election, Nelson Mandela presided over a country still deeply divided by fifty years of apartheid. His plan was ambitious if not far-fetched: use the national rugby team, the Springboks-long an embodiment of white-supremacist rule-to embody and engage…

White Fragility

By Robin Diangelo,

Book cover of White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism

Amy Carroll Author Of The Ego Tango

From the list on kickass communication.

Who am I?

I'm passionate about helping people to better manage their internal state so they can control their external behaviors under high-pressure situations. My expertise is on the following topics found in the books I've chosen: power/status, influence, leadership presence, setting boundaries, speaking clearly & concisely, emotional mastery, improvisation, compassion, and empathy for self and others. As a communication coach and trainer, I work with clients to neutralize power dynamics for more positive exchange, leaving both parties feeling safe and respected. 

Amy's book list on kickass communication

Discover why each book is one of Amy's favorite books.

Why did Amy love this book?

Improving our capacity to communicate also means putting our ego to the side so that we can receive messages, even when the packaging is not so pretty!  This book expanded my ability to accept difficult messages. In the past, I’ve made a request to people close to me, "if you want to tell me something difficult to hear, please package the message respectfully." Since reading this book, when I hear something I perceive to be hostile or accusing, my job is to work on not taking it personally, because getting the message is more important than the packaging!

By Robin Diangelo,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked White Fragility as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The International Bestseller

'With clarity and compassion, DiAngelo allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to "bad people." In doing so, she moves our national discussions forward. This is a necessary book for all people invested in societal change' Claudia Rankine

Anger. Fear. Guilt. Denial. Silence. These are the ways in which ordinary white people react when it is pointed out to them that they have done or said something that has - unintentionally - caused racial offence or hurt. After, all, a racist is the worst thing a person can be, right? But these reactions only…

Book cover of The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science

Thomas R. Verny Author Of The Embodied Mind: Understanding the Mysteries of Cellular Memory, Consciousness, and Our Bodies

From the list on neuroscience and the mind.

Who am I?

As a thirteen-year-old boy, I read Sigmund Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams and I became totally fascinated by Freud’s slow, methodical questioning that eventually revealed deeply hidden unconscious conflicts in the lives of his patients. Then and there I resolved to become a psychiatrist. As a psychiatrist, I explored my patients’ early memories. Over the years, I authored seven books, including The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, published in 28 countries now. I have previously taught at Harvard University, the University of Toronto, York University (Toronto), and St. Mary’s University. This book takes my studies of memory a step further and drills right down to the intelligence of cells.

Thomas' book list on neuroscience and the mind

Discover why each book is one of Thomas' favorite books.

Why did Thomas love this book?

Norman Doidge is a Canadian psychiatrist and award-winning science writer, currently on the Faculty of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto and Research Faculty at Columbia University. In this book, he provides a fascinating synopsis of the current revolution in neuroscience with an emphasis on neuroplasticity. Essentially, Doidge cites many case histories illustrating the power of positive thinking in healing neurological diseases.

Doidge’s focus as the seat of the problem is always the brain. His book is highly readable and holds out hope for many people with neurological impairments.

By Norman Doidge,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Brain That Changes Itself as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

An astonishing new science called neuroplasticity is overthrowing the centuries-old notion that the human brain is immutable. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Norman Doidge, M.D., traveled the country to meet both the brilliant scientists championing neuroplasticity and the people whose lives they've transformed-people whose mental limitations or brain damage were seen as unalterable. We see a woman born with half a brain that rewired itself to work as a whole, blind people who learn to see, learning disorders cured, IQs raised, aging brains rejuvenated, stroke patients learning to speak, children with cerebral palsy learning to move with more grace, depression and anxiety…

Book cover of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams

Michael Bungay Stanier Author Of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

From the list on unexpectedly useful books about coaching.

Who am I?

Coaching is a wonderful technology that can help people be a force for change… and is often wrapped up in mystic and woo-woo and privilege that makes it inaccessible and/or unattractive to too many. I want being more coach-like—by which I mean staying curious a little longer, and rushing to action and advice-giving—to be an everyday way of being with one another. Driven by this, I’ve written the best-selling book on coaching this century (The Coaching Habit) and have created training that’s been used around the world by more than a quarter of a million people. I’m on a mission to unweird coaching.

Michael's book list on unexpectedly useful books about coaching

Discover why each book is one of Michael's favorite books.

Why did Michael love this book?

Carl Jung has two quotes that I love. First, “the gold is in the dark.” And second, “I’d rather be whole than good.” Both recognize that we’re complicated, contradictory, and gloriously messy beings. Debbie Ford’s book was the first time I felt I could actually do something with the profound wisdom of Jung. One particular exercise pretty much “cured” me immediately of some long-standing resentment I had with a former boss. Even though the language is sometimes a bit too woo-woo Californian hippy for me, it’s a book with some deeply useful exercises to help you become more whole, kinder to yourself, and ultimately more wholly you.

By Deborah Ford,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Dark Side of the Light Chasers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this enlightening guide, Debbie Ford explains that the dark side of our personality should not be hidden. By denying our dark side, we reject these aspects of our true natures rather than giving ourselves the freedom to live authentically. Here she shows that it is possible to acknowledge and accept our so-called weaknesses, proving that these qualities may be important, hidden strengths. For example, perhaps some 'selfishness' can save us from exhaustion and resentment.

Full of illuminating stories and practical exercises, Debbie Ford shows us how to reconcile our darker impulses and find the gifts they offer. Your life…

The Art of Impossible

By Steven Kotler,

Book cover of The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer

Madhur-Nain Webster Author Of The Stressless Brain

From the list on creating inner and outer change in your life area.

Who am I?

I have been practicing psychotherapy since 1999. I started reading self-help books when I was 19 years old in college because I wanted to know more about myself, why I felt the way I did at times, why I felt stuck at times and how I could feel empowered to make changes. Sadly many books don’t tell you what you can do to change and that is why I wrote my book. The books I am sharing with you have had big effects on my thinking and therefore my behavior. For it is in how we think, we act in our lives and with others. These books help you look at you.

Madhur-Nain's book list on creating inner and outer change in your life area

Discover why each book is one of Madhur-Nain's favorite books.

Why did Madhur-Nain love this book?

I am recommending this book, The Art of Impossible, because it creates a deep thinking of “what do I stand for? Where am I going? And How do I get there?” It has science, spirituality, and self-awareness in one place. 

I loved this book so much I went to the store and bought every copy and gave it out to friends and family. When I would read it I felt empowered to think deeply and look at my life with new insight. I was reading this book during the start of covid. It helped me stay focused. Stay engaged in my life path and learn tools on how to stay focused.

By Steven Kotler,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Art of Impossible as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

New York Times Bestseller

Bestselling author and peak performance expert Steven Kotler decodes the secrets of those elite performers-athletes, artists, scientists, CEOs and more-who have changed our definition of the possible, teaching us how we too can stretch far beyond our capabilities, making impossible dreams much more attainable for all of us.

What does it take to accomplish the impossible? What does it take to shatter our limitations, exceed our expectations, and turn our biggest dreams into our most recent achievements?

We are capable of so much more than we know-that's the message at the core of The Art of…

Getting the Love You Want

By Harville Hendrix, Helen Lakelly Hunt,

Book cover of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Jiveny Blair-West Author Of How to Make the Biggest Decision of Your Life

From the list on learning about relationships.

Who am I?

Growing up with two parents who specialised in relationship therapy gave me a unique insight into the importance of relationships from an early age. My father's words ‘Jiveny there is nothing to life but relationships’ instilled in me a natural curiosity to understand how to make the most of them. Later in life, my own experiences of heartbreak motivated me to get even more serious about learning how to build better relationships. Now, as a dating and attraction coach, I have used my experience and expertise, as well as feedback from my clients, to compile my top 5 books for understanding relationships.

Jiveny's book list on learning about relationships

Discover why each book is one of Jiveny's favorite books.

Why did Jiveny love this book?

Getting the Love You Want is an insightful and comprehensive guide to understanding and improving relationships. The book is based on Hendrix’s Imago Relationship Therapy, which he developed with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt and has been an invaluable resource for me in understanding the psychology of attraction and the often unconscious forces that shape our relationships. 

In this book, Hendrix provides readers with a step-by-step approach to understanding their own needs and those of their partner. He explains how to identify and address the underlying issues that can cause conflict in relationships, such as unmet childhood needs, power struggles, and communication problems. He also offers practical advice on how to create a safe environment for couples to express their feelings and work through conflicts. I particularly love the conscious partnership manifesto outlined towards the end of the book as it became inspiration for my own marriage vows.

By Harville Hendrix, Helen Lakelly Hunt,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Getting the Love You Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt offer the relationship skills that have helped millions of couples replace confrontation and criticism with a process of mutual support that facilitates healing and growth at any stage of a relationship. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique that combines a number of disciplines - including the behavioural sciences, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neurosciences, among others - to create a program that transforms conflict into creative tension that deepens connection and renews passion.

In a new forward and chapter, Hendrix and…

5 book lists we think you will like!

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