The most recommended books about choosing a mate

Who picked these books? Meet our 25 experts.

25 authors created a book list connected to choosing a mate, and here are their favorite choosing a mate books.
When you buy books, we may earn a commission that helps keep our lights on (or join the rebellion as a member).

What type of choosing a mate book?

Loading...
Loading...

Book cover of Emma

Charisse Cooke Author Of The Attachment Solution: How to develop secure, strong and lasting relationships

From my list on how to create a great relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was fortunate enough to meet my husband over 17 years ago, and we have packed a lot of life in since then. Along with two kids and a dog, we’ve had our fair share of tough moments: financial challenges, bereavement, family issues, marital disagreement, and traumatic life events that taught me just as much as my two decades-long career as a relationship psychotherapist has. This, combined with working with individuals, couples, and partners in search of what love means and how to practically go about achieving it, has clarified for me just how much we all need tools and teachings when it comes to matters of the heart.

Charisse's book list on how to create a great relationship

Charisse Cooke Why did Charisse love this book?

Jane Austen would have made such a great therapist! Her razor-sharp observations, combined with profound insights into people and relationships, make this book an all-time favorite of mine. I love her descriptions of falling in (and out of) love and how fallible each of her characters is, reminding us of our humanity–especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

What also strikes me is how true it is that pride, image, and status can still play out in our more modern relationships today. This book feels very old-fashioned in places, but it warns us how easily we can hurt other people and damage relationships, sometimes irrevocably. There’s a lot to learn from Emma, and I enjoy seeing relationships depicted in fiction, where so much can be explored through a fascinating and absorbing story, too.

By Jane Austen,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Emma as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Her masterpiece, mixing the sparkle of her early books with a deep sensibility' Robert McCrum, Observer

Although described by Jane Austen as a character 'whom no one but myself will much like', the irrepressible Emma Woodhouse is one of her most beloved heroines. Clever, rich and beautiful, she sees no need for marriage, but loves interfering in the romantic lives of others, until her matchmaking plans unravel, with consequences that she never expected. Jane Austen's novel of youthful exuberance and gradual self-knowledge is a brilliant, sparkling comic masterpiece.

Edited with an Introduction by FIONA STAFFORD


Book cover of Mate Choice: The Evolution of Sexual Decision Making from Microbes to Humans

Ingo Schlupp Author Of Male Choice, Female Competition, and Female Ornaments in Sexual Selection

From my list on mate choice – in animals.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an evolutionary ecologist with a lifelong fascination with mating behavior in animals, particularly fishes. The core of my doctoral thesis was trying to understand why some males mate with females of a different species, a behavior that I thought could not be adaptive. This was the starting point of my work on male mate choice, but also mate choice more generally. Originally from Germany, I have lived and worked in the US for a long time. Most of my work is on neotropical fishes so moving to America made sense.

Ingo's book list on mate choice – in animals

Ingo Schlupp Why did Ingo love this book?

I loved reading this book and I have used it in teaching. This is the most comprehensive book on mate choice. It will be defining the field for a long time. Rosenthal looks at everything that has to do with mate choice and provides an authoritative view of mate choice. He looks at the complexity of mate choice in its full range. If you look for the most complete book on mate choice, this is it.

By Gil Rosenthal,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Mate Choice as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A major new look at the evolution of mating decisions in organisms from protozoans to humans The popular consensus on mate choice has long been that females select mates likely to pass good genes to offspring. In Mate Choice, Gil Rosenthal overturns much of this conventional wisdom. Providing the first synthesis of the topic in more than three decades, and drawing from a wide range of fields, including animal behavior, evolutionary biology, social psychology, neuroscience, and economics, Rosenthal argues that "good genes" play a relatively minor role in shaping mate choice decisions and demonstrates how mate choice is influenced by…


Book cover of The North Wind

Avalon Griffin Author Of Unbound by Shadows

From my list on romance for empowering escapism.

Why am I passionate about this?

I started reading romance because I wanted to drown myself in stories of women stepping into their power and getting everything they wanted. Romance is a genre often looked down upon because of the happy-ever-afters, but I think that’s part of why it can be so deliciously subversive. Most (but not all) romance novels are centered on women, their voices, their sexuality, their desires, and their victories. In a world that’s often cruel, escaping into a world where dreams and fantasies are possible can be liberating. I started writing romance because I wanted to be a part of these stories and craft a world for others to escape into.

Avalon's book list on romance for empowering escapism

Avalon Griffin Why did Avalon love this book?

For fans of slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers fantasy, this book is gold.

With Beauty and the Beast and Hades and Persephone vibes, this book tells the story of a human woman who is kidnapped and wed to the Frost King, a brooding immortal.

The writing is beautiful, and I appreciated how it took a long time for the heroine and hero to trust each other and break down their walls. Both characters are deeply flawed, yet you still root for their happiness.

The world-building is lovely and folkloric. Getting into the steamy parts takes a while, but it’s worth the wait!

By Alexandria Warwick,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The North Wind as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Lush. Dark. Romantic. Introducing a newly reimagined tale written in the vein of Beauty and the Beast and Hades and Persephone.

Long before civilization, there were the gods. And before the gods, there was the earth, the celestial bodies, and air given flesh. They are the Anemoi-the Four Winds-and they have been banished to the four corners of the world.

Wren of Edgewood is no stranger to suffering. Her parents are gone. Survival is all she knows. For three hundred years, the land known as the Gray has been encased in ice, surrounded by a great barrier called the Shade,…


Book cover of The Husbands

Julie Chavez Author Of Everyone But Myself: A Memoir

From Julie's 3 favorite reads in 2024.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author

Julie's 3 favorite reads in 2024

Julie Chavez Why did Julie love this book?

I love stories about the roads we don't take, and this one was original in its premise. The short chapters made it easy to pick up and put down (a must when things are busy), but I felt invested. A joy to read.

By Holly Gramazio,

Why should I read it?

5 authors picked The Husbands as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'One of the funniest debuts for years' SUNDAY TIMES
'The most fun I've had reading in the longest time' MARIAN KEYES
'An absolute riot' THE UNMUMSY MUM

You wait ages for The One . . . then 203 come along at once

One night Lauren finds a strange man in her flat who claims to be her husband. All the evidence - from photos to electricity bills - suggests he's right.

Lauren's attic, she slowly realises, is creating an endless supply of husbands for her.

There's the one who pretends to play music on her toes.
The one who's too…


Book cover of One True Loves

JJ Elliott Author Of There Are No Rules for This

From JJ's 3 favorite reads in 2023.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Oenophile Tennis and Pickleball player Avid reader Mom to teens and bulldogs Cheese fan

JJ's 3 favorite reads in 2023

JJ Elliott Why did JJ love this book?

I love a book that puts a regular person in an impossible situation, and boy, does this one deliver.

It follows a woman who has found love again after losing her “one true love” in an accident at sea, only for him to show up again right as she is putting her life back together.

I loved these characters deeply and ached for them all as they muddled through an extraordinary set of circumstances. It’s an excellent study of love and how it can change as we grow older. 

By Taylor Jenkins Reid,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked One True Loves as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Named a Best Book of Summer by Cosmopolitan * InStyle *PopSugar * Buzzfeed * Bustle * Brit+Co * Parade

"No one does life and love better." InStyle
"Earth-shaking...you will flip for this epic love story." Cosmopolitan

From the author of Maybe in Another Life comes a breathtaking new love story about a woman unexpectedly forced to choose between the husband she has long thought dead and the fiance who has finally brought her back to life.

In her twenties, Emma Blair marries her high school sweetheart,…


Book cover of Only Ever Yours

Sara Foster Author Of The Hush

From my list on dystopias to make you think about women’s experiences.

Why am I passionate about this?

I recently spent seven years studying the theme of mothers and daughters in dystopian fiction with young adult heroines for my PhD, for which I received a Vice Chancellor’s commendation. I am passionate about interrogating the subthemes and silences in fiction, particularly in women’s writing and stories about female identity and experience. I am also the author of eight published works of fiction, mostly psychological thrillers (often female-driven). My most recent publication is the near-future dystopia The Hush

Sara's book list on dystopias to make you think about women’s experiences

Sara Foster Why did Sara love this book?

In Only Ever Yours, baby girls can no longer be born naturally, and instead they are made in laboratories, and then raised communally in schools.

They are trained in the arts of pleasing men, and some will be selected by eligible bachelors, leaving the rest to become concubines (sex slaves) or chastities (teachers). We follow the story of frieda and her best friend isabel as they go through the final preparations of school and prepare to be chosen. However, when isabel disappears, all of frieda’s loyalties and perceptions of their world will be put to the test.

I have so much admiration for Louise O'Neill's unflinching depiction of the pressures on the young women in this fictional society – the constant obsessions with looks and weight, the way they are taught to be competitive with each other, the slow degradation of frieda’s sense of self.

By manipulating and extending…

By Louise O'Neill,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Only Ever Yours as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Utterly magnificent . . . gripping, accomplished and dark' Marian Keyes

WINNER: Newcomer of the Year at the IBAs
WINNER: Bookseller YA Prize
WINNER: CBI Eilis Dillon Award
Buzzfeed's Best Books Written by Women in 2014

The bestselling novel about beauty, body image and betrayal

eves are designed, not made.
The School trains them to be pretty
The School trains them to be good.
The School trains them to Always be Willing.

All their lives, the eves have been waiting. Now, they are ready for the outside world.
companion . . . concubine . . . or chastity
Only the…


Book cover of And the Miss Ran Away With the Rake

Dorothy A. Bell Author Of Pretty Pride

From Dorothy's 3 favorite reads in 2024.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author

Dorothy's 3 favorite reads in 2024

Dorothy A. Bell Why did Dorothy love this book?

It had a fresh plot that captured my attention. I also like the historical element of the time period, the protocols and manners required to navigate society.

By Elizabeth Boyle,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked And the Miss Ran Away With the Rake as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Based on nursery rhyme themes, this new series illustrates Elizabeth Boyle's flair for high-concept, witty storytelling.


Book cover of The Post-Birthday World

Sung J. Woo Author Of Lines

From my list on what-if “Sliding Doors” narratives.

Why am I passionate about this?

Ever since watching Sliding Doors back in the late 90s, I’ve been fascinated by forking narratives. I don’t know if I’ve yet to meet anyone who doesn’t love that “what-if” spark–what if I chose this job over that one? Who would I have met? Who would I have married? Who would I be? That last question, I believe, is the kicker–we all only get to live this one life, so our choices are our choices. Only in the realm of fiction can we really be in someone else’s head, and writing my fifth novel, Lines, and its twinned/entwined plots was doubling the fun.

Sung's book list on what-if “Sliding Doors” narratives

Sung J. Woo Why did Sung love this book?

This was the first Sliding Doors-esque novel I read, and it’s a doozy. The book spins off a single moment: will Irina kiss Ramsey, the professional pool player? That action forks the novel into two distinct threads, but there are constant pleasant echoes that reverberate back and forth.

I’ve always believed the greatest draw for reading fiction is that we get to live someone else’s life. In a split narrative, we get to do that twice! Two for the price of one.

By Lionel Shriver,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Post-Birthday World as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the Orange Prize winning author of We Need to Talk About Kevin, this is the novel Lionel Shriver wrote directly afterwards. The Post-Birthday World is an unflinching account of the choices that unfold before us and what our decisions really mean.

Irina McGovern's destiny hinges on a single kiss. Whether she gives into its temptation will determine whether she stays with her reliable partner Lawrence, or runs off with Ramsey, a hard-living snooker player.

Employing a parallel universe structure, Shriver spins Irina's competing futures with two drastically different men. An intellectual and fellow American, Lawrence is clever and supportive,…


Book cover of American Royals

Stacy Juba Author Of Fooling Around With Cinderella

From my list on chick lit to bring a smile to your face.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m the author of the Storybook Valley chick-lit series, which includes Fooling Around With Cinderella and Prancing Around With Sleeping Beauty. I love reading and writing lighthearted novels about young women finding their Prince Charming—and also themselves. Setting is also important to me as a writer. To create my Storybook Valley novels I spied on Cinderellas at amusement parks and discreetly watched employees head off into off-limits areas. I watched hours of YouTube interviews with former Disney World princesses, behind-the-scenes videos with other amusement park employees, and listened to podcast interviews with managers of theme parks. All the novels I chose had well-developed settings that were an integral part of the book.  

Stacy's book list on chick lit to bring a smile to your face

Stacy Juba Why did Stacy love this book?

I stumbled onto this book on Amazon and the hook intrigued me: What if America had a royal family instead of a president? This alternate reality story set in the present day follows Princess Beatrice and her two siblings. As Beatrice gets closer to becoming queen, she feels the intense pressure and it affects her friendships, family relationships, and her love life. I’ve also read the second book in the series, which had some surprising plot twists. While this is actually a young adult novel, adults will enjoy it also. It’s a bit soapier than the other novels on my list, but a tantalizing read.

By Katharine McGee,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked American Royals as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 14, 15, 16, and 17.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SERIES * What if America had a royal family? If you can't get enough of Harry and Meghan or Kate and William, meet American princesses Beatrice and Samantha. Crazy Rich Asians meets The Crown. Perfect for fans of Red, White, and Royal Blue and The Royal We!

Two princesses vying for the ultimate crown.
Two girls vying for the prince's heart.
This is the story of the American royals.

When America won the Revolutionary War, its people offered General George Washington a crown. Two and a half centuries later, the House of Washington still sits on…


Book cover of The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

Tony Endelman Author Of The Big Stick: Collected and Applied Wisdom from the Teachings of Dr. Robert Glover

From my list on men’s self-development books that don’t totally suck.

Why am I passionate about this?

In 2013, my father–an amazing man who was the picture of health–died suddenly and unexpectedly while at the gym. At the time, I was miserable and unfulfilled. My father’s passing sent me down a path of deep self-exploration, where I realized that life is simply too short and unpredictable to settle for less than what you truly want. As I endeavored to change my life, I became a certified life coach, relationship coach, and happiness trainer, initially to help myself, but soon discovered a passion for helping others. I've been lucky to have incredible mentors like Dr. Robert Glover. My unconventional brand of self-help has been featured in numerous publications.

Tony's book list on men’s self-development books that don’t totally suck

Tony Endelman Why did Tony love this book?

While No More Mr. Nice Guy may have saved my life, this book has repeatedly saved my ass.

In the book, Dr. Smith uses his years of clinical experience (and his distinct sense of humor) to offer men a plan to attract the right women and confidently move on from the wrong women. This was a plan that I desperately needed. 

This book forced me to examine my unhealthy relationship patterns. It showed me how to meet amazing women and avoid emotionally unstable women. It taught me how to identify red flags, see women more clearly, and have healthier partnerships.

By Shawn T. Smith,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Tactical Guide to Women as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

For men, love is a high-stakes gamble. The right woman can be the best part of a man's life, and the wrong one can lead to personal and financial ruin. In today's climate, no man should venture into romance without a reliable risk-management strategy.

The Tactical Guide to Women delivers a solid plan for allowing the right women into your life, and keeping the wrong ones at a safe distance. You'll discover how to:

Identify good women of low drama and high character Reduce your vulnerability to women who seem perfect for you--but aren't Spot the early warning signs of…


Book cover of Emma
Book cover of Mate Choice: The Evolution of Sexual Decision Making from Microbes to Humans
Book cover of The North Wind

Share your top 3 reads of 2024!

And get a beautiful page showing off your 3 favorite reads.

1,593

readers submitted
so far, will you?