100 books like Mate Choice

By Gil Rosenthal,

Here are 100 books that Mate Choice fans have personally recommended if you like Mate Choice. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

When you buy books, we may earn a commission that helps keep our lights on (or join the rebellion as a member).

Book cover of A Taste for the Beautiful: The Evolution of Attraction

Deena Emera Author Of A Brief History of the Female Body: An Evolutionary Look at How and Why the Female Form Came to Be

From my list on capturing the magnificence of female biology.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have spent my career studying the evolution of female biology. My PhD thesis was on the evolution of pregnancy and menstruation. I am currently a researcher at the Buck Institute for Research on Aging studying the evolution of menopause. I also inhabit a female body and have a personal interest in understanding how and why my own body works the way it does. As a lifelong teacher who has taught high school, college, and graduate students, I am passionate about sharing what I know with other women. I hope you enjoy these fascinating books about the female body and its amazing evolutionary history. 

Deena's book list on capturing the magnificence of female biology

Deena Emera Why did Deena love this book?

The role of the female brain in driving the evolution of animal beauty is so fascinating that I’m recommending a second book on this topic called A Taste for the Beautiful.

Michael Ryan is an animal behaviorist who uses examples not just of birds but from all over the animal kingdom to show how animals—especially females—have a sexual aesthetic that has the power to drive the evolution of their own species.

Ryan is a superb storyteller and makes the material very accessible to his reader. After reading this book, you will never think about beauty in the same way again. 

By Michael J. Ryan,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked A Taste for the Beautiful as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From one of the world's leading authorities on animal behavior, the astonishing story of how the brain drives the evolution of beauty in animals and humans

In A Taste for the Beautiful, Michael Ryan, one of the world's leading authorities on animal behavior, tells the remarkable story of how he and other scientists have taken up where Darwin left off, transforming our understanding of sexual selection and shedding new light on animal and human behavior. Drawing on cutting-edge science, Ryan explores key questions: Why do animals perceive certain traits as beautiful and others not? Do animals have an inherent sexual…


Book cover of Darwin and the Making of Sexual Selection

Ingo Schlupp Author Of Male Choice, Female Competition, and Female Ornaments in Sexual Selection

From my list on mate choice – in animals.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an evolutionary ecologist with a lifelong fascination with mating behavior in animals, particularly fishes. The core of my doctoral thesis was trying to understand why some males mate with females of a different species, a behavior that I thought could not be adaptive. This was the starting point of my work on male mate choice, but also mate choice more generally. Originally from Germany, I have lived and worked in the US for a long time. Most of my work is on neotropical fishes so moving to America made sense.

Ingo's book list on mate choice – in animals

Ingo Schlupp Why did Ingo love this book?

This fascinating book reflects on the development of Darwin’s thinking as he was developing his theory of Sexual Selection. Superbly detailed and well crafted this book provides astonishing insights into how Darwin was thinking and how he fleshed out sexual selection theory. The book is not just important for understanding Darwin and one of his most famous ideas, it places his thinking in the context of his time. It is a long book, but worth the read.

By Evelleen Richards,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Darwin and the Making of Sexual Selection as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Darwin's concept of natural selection has been exhaustively studied, but his secondary evolutionary principle of sexual selection remains largely unexplored and misunderstood. Yet sexual selection was of great strategic importance to Darwin because it explained things that natural selection could not and offered a naturalistic, as opposed to divine, account of beauty and its perception. Only now, with Darwin and the Making of Sexual Selection, do we have a comprehensive and meticulously researched account of Darwin's path to its formulation one that shows the man, rather than the myth, and examines both the social and intellectual roots of Darwin's theory.…


Book cover of Looking for a Few Good Males: Female Choice in Evolutionary Biology

Ingo Schlupp Author Of Male Choice, Female Competition, and Female Ornaments in Sexual Selection

From my list on mate choice – in animals.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an evolutionary ecologist with a lifelong fascination with mating behavior in animals, particularly fishes. The core of my doctoral thesis was trying to understand why some males mate with females of a different species, a behavior that I thought could not be adaptive. This was the starting point of my work on male mate choice, but also mate choice more generally. Originally from Germany, I have lived and worked in the US for a long time. Most of my work is on neotropical fishes so moving to America made sense.

Ingo's book list on mate choice – in animals

Ingo Schlupp Why did Ingo love this book?

When Darwin proposed the two mechanisms of sexual selection, one was almost immediately embraced by his Victorian contemporaries: male competition. Female choice, on the other hand, had to wait almost 100 years to be fully recognized. This book is an account of the history of female choice and provides fascinating insights into the development of a scientific discipline and how it is intertwined with society. Well written and very accessible, this is a great read.

By Erika L. Milam,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Looking for a Few Good Males as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Why do female animals select certain mates, and how do scientists determine the answer? In considering these questions, Erika Lorraine Milam explores the fascinating patterns of experiment and interpretation that emerged as twentieth-century researchers studied sexual selection and female choice. Approaching the topic from both biological and animal-studies perspectives, Milam not only presents a broad history of sexual selection-from Darwin to sociobiology-but also analyzes the animal-human continuum from the perspectives of sex, evolution, and behavior. She asks how social and cultural assumptions influence human-animal research and wonders about the implications of gender on scientific outcomes. Although female choice appears to…


Book cover of Sexual Selections: What We Can and Can't Learn about Sex from Animals

Ingo Schlupp Author Of Male Choice, Female Competition, and Female Ornaments in Sexual Selection

From my list on mate choice – in animals.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an evolutionary ecologist with a lifelong fascination with mating behavior in animals, particularly fishes. The core of my doctoral thesis was trying to understand why some males mate with females of a different species, a behavior that I thought could not be adaptive. This was the starting point of my work on male mate choice, but also mate choice more generally. Originally from Germany, I have lived and worked in the US for a long time. Most of my work is on neotropical fishes so moving to America made sense.

Ingo's book list on mate choice – in animals

Ingo Schlupp Why did Ingo love this book?

Written by one of the great experts in the field this wonderful book takes a look at animal sexual behavior broadly. It introduces the amazing complexity of adaptations to sex and how they evolved. What is plain fascinating to the biologist may be a little odd to humans from time to time, but we have to learn not to view everything from a human perspective. This book is written for a broad audience and is very easy to read.

By Marlene Zuk,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sexual Selections as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Scientific discoveries about the animal kingdom fuel ideological battles on many fronts, especially battles about sex and gender. We now know that male marmosets help take care of their offspring. Is this heartening news for today's stay-at-home dads? Recent studies show that many female birds once thought to be monogamous actually have chicks that are fathered outside the primary breeding pair. Does this information spell doom for traditional marriages? And bonobo apes take part in female-female sexual encounters. Does this mean that human homosexuality is natural? This highly provocative book clearly shows that these are the wrong kinds of questions…


Book cover of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-be

Alyssa Gonzalez Author Of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

From my list on neurodiversity and relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.

Alyssa's book list on neurodiversity and relationships

Alyssa Gonzalez Why did Alyssa love this book?

Neurodivergent people are notoriously averse to small talk, but where to go from there?

Intellectual Foreplay provides an extensive collection of conversation topics and questions one can use to get to know someone better, whether you’re already close or just getting started.

In between, this book provides a treatment of how this sort of conversation works and, crucially, actions that can be taken in response to the answers one receives.

It’s an interesting book, even if it’s not particularly interesting to read straight through. Reference volumes often aren’t, so this is not a point against it.

By Eve Eschner Hogan, Steve Hogan,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Intellectual Foreplay as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This solutions-oriented guide offers problem solving and behavior changing strategies for people working on their most intimate relationships. The book provides readers with: enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners' beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making healthy decisions about lifestyles and boundaries; an in-depth understanding of the role of self-esteem in relationships; increased ability to let go of the past and embrace the present; and the knowledge that it is important not only to choose the right partner, but also to be the right partner. What…


Book cover of The Vow

Darby Baham Author Of The Shoe Diaries

From my list on celebrating strong friendships.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a writer, editor, and self-proclaimed shoe fanatic who loves finding opportunities to traipse through the streets of New York like Carrie in Sex and the City. With an undergrad degree in journalism from Howard University and a graduate degree from Georgetown University, I started a blog in 2007 about shoes, politics, and relationships that centered on my personal experiences with all three. Since then, I’ve contributed opinion articles to The Washington Post, Blavity, and more. My debut novel, The Shoe Diaries, was released in January 2022 by Harlequin Special Edition. The sequel, Bloom Where You’re Planted, will be released on May 24, 2022. 

Darby's book list on celebrating strong friendships

Darby Baham Why did Darby love this book?

After attending a New Year’s Eve wedding, three friends decide that they are going to either become engaged or get married by the same time next year. With a premise like that, you know it’s destined to include a plethora of dating and relationship shenanigans. Plus, with three main characters, it gives the reader a great and complex look into the lives of Black professional women. Throughout, the friendships kept me enthralled, and I found it to be a wonderful look into Black sisterhood. 

By Denene Millner, Angela Burt-Murray, Mitzi Miller

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Vow as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this runaway hit novel, three best friends come together for their sorority sister's glitzy wedding in Atlanta and make a vow to get married within one year. As they embark on their search to find their soul mates, they navigate the full-contact sport known as being a SSBFLA (successful, single, black, female in L.A.) and negotiate the shark-infested waters of making a name for themselves professionally in Hollywood.

Can Trista, the hyper-driven celebrity agent, find the time to schedule a meaningful romance? Will Amaya, the sexy starlet, convince the married hip hop-label exec she has been seeing to leave…


Book cover of The Post-Birthday World

Sung J. Woo Author Of Lines

From my list on what-if “Sliding Doors” narratives.

Why am I passionate about this?

Ever since watching Sliding Doors back in the late 90s, I’ve been fascinated by forking narratives. I don’t know if I’ve yet to meet anyone who doesn’t love that “what-if” spark–what if I chose this job over that one? Who would I have met? Who would I have married? Who would I be? That last question, I believe, is the kicker–we all only get to live this one life, so our choices are our choices. Only in the realm of fiction can we really be in someone else’s head, and writing my fifth novel, Lines, and its twinned/entwined plots was doubling the fun.

Sung's book list on what-if “Sliding Doors” narratives

Sung J. Woo Why did Sung love this book?

This was the first Sliding Doors-esque novel I read, and it’s a doozy. The book spins off a single moment: will Irina kiss Ramsey, the professional pool player? That action forks the novel into two distinct threads, but there are constant pleasant echoes that reverberate back and forth.

I’ve always believed the greatest draw for reading fiction is that we get to live someone else’s life. In a split narrative, we get to do that twice! Two for the price of one.

By Lionel Shriver,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Post-Birthday World as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the Orange Prize winning author of We Need to Talk About Kevin, this is the novel Lionel Shriver wrote directly afterwards. The Post-Birthday World is an unflinching account of the choices that unfold before us and what our decisions really mean.

Irina McGovern's destiny hinges on a single kiss. Whether she gives into its temptation will determine whether she stays with her reliable partner Lawrence, or runs off with Ramsey, a hard-living snooker player.

Employing a parallel universe structure, Shriver spins Irina's competing futures with two drastically different men. An intellectual and fellow American, Lawrence is clever and supportive,…


Book cover of Only Ever Yours

Sara Foster Author Of The Hush

From my list on dystopias to make you think about women’s experiences.

Why am I passionate about this?

I recently spent seven years studying the theme of mothers and daughters in dystopian fiction with young adult heroines for my PhD, for which I received a Vice Chancellor’s commendation. I am passionate about interrogating the subthemes and silences in fiction, particularly in women’s writing and stories about female identity and experience. I am also the author of eight published works of fiction, mostly psychological thrillers (often female-driven). My most recent publication is the near-future dystopia The Hush

Sara's book list on dystopias to make you think about women’s experiences

Sara Foster Why did Sara love this book?

In Only Ever Yours, baby girls can no longer be born naturally, and instead they are made in laboratories, and then raised communally in schools.

They are trained in the arts of pleasing men, and some will be selected by eligible bachelors, leaving the rest to become concubines (sex slaves) or chastities (teachers). We follow the story of frieda and her best friend isabel as they go through the final preparations of school and prepare to be chosen. However, when isabel disappears, all of frieda’s loyalties and perceptions of their world will be put to the test.

I have so much admiration for Louise O'Neill's unflinching depiction of the pressures on the young women in this fictional society – the constant obsessions with looks and weight, the way they are taught to be competitive with each other, the slow degradation of frieda’s sense of self.

By manipulating and extending…

By Louise O'Neill,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Only Ever Yours as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Utterly magnificent . . . gripping, accomplished and dark' Marian Keyes

WINNER: Newcomer of the Year at the IBAs
WINNER: Bookseller YA Prize
WINNER: CBI Eilis Dillon Award
Buzzfeed's Best Books Written by Women in 2014

The bestselling novel about beauty, body image and betrayal

eves are designed, not made.
The School trains them to be pretty
The School trains them to be good.
The School trains them to Always be Willing.

All their lives, the eves have been waiting. Now, they are ready for the outside world.
companion . . . concubine . . . or chastity
Only the…


Book cover of Secondhand Bride

Lauri Robinson Author Of An Unlikely Match for the Governess

From my list on that create great discussions for book club.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a kid, I read by flashlight under the covers and loved family vacations because long car rides meant hours of reading time (they still do!). I love belonging to book clubs because of the variety. Stories I might not have chosen, but end up loving. For years I devoured romance novels, especially historical and westerns. When my husband said, “You should write a book, you’ve read so many.” I decided to try and now have over 70 published romance novels, 50+ with Harlequin, Mills & Boon, and one young adult book that I co-wrote with two of my granddaughters. I hope my recommendations provides your book club with lively discussions!     


Lauri's book list on that create great discussions for book club

Lauri Robinson Why did Lauri love this book?

This book has so much to discuss, the old west, history, fun characters, family dynamics, and romance.

The opening scene puts the reader in the midst of cowboy country with laugh out loud action. The action and adventures that continue all the way to the end makes the reader ready to relive it by talking about it to others! 

The author does a fabulous job providing well-rounded characters with goals, ambitions, and faults, prompting discussions about who might be the favorite. Jeb, who can’t stay out of trouble, or Chloe who is not afraid to stand up to the wild cowboy.  

I’ve read this entire series, but each book, including this one, can be read as a stand-alone without having read any of the others. 

By Linda Lael Miller,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Secondhand Bride as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The third installment in the New York Times bestselling McKettrick Cowboys series follows the youngest McKettrick brother as he and his estranged love cross paths after discovering he must marry in order to inherit the family ranch.

Jeb is the wild McKettrick, the one who never could stay out of trouble. And trouble is what he gets when he proposes to Chloe Wakefield. No sooner had he and the pretty schoolteacher tied the knot than Jeb discovers she’s already married. After a major dustup with Chloe in a Tombstone barroom, an irate Jeb hightails it back to the Triple M…


Book cover of If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever

Marcia Naomi Berger Author Of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

From my list on dating toward marriage.

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  

Marcia's book list on dating toward marriage

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did Marcia love this book?

I like how author Susan Page gets to the heart of why terrific women who say they want marriage continue to stay single and what they can do about it. Hidden ambivalence is a powerful internal conflict. The author explains how unconscious marriage fears can prevent us from moving forward.

For a long time, I acted out my unconscious ambivalence by finding "warts" or shortcomings in men who wanted a serious relationship. So I can relate to hidden ambivalence as a reason many marriage-minded women stay single.

Susan Page gives many examples of ways people express their ambivalence. I agree with her that living together with no plan to marry is one example, and I admire this author for stating this now that this lifestyle has become so common. Awareness is the first step toward change. This book fosters self-awareness and empowers us to move past what's getting in our…

By Susan Page,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single? Relationship expert Susan Page asks - and answers - this puzzling question in her classic book. She helps singles sweep aside popular excuses for not finding a mate and helps identify the real reasons love may seem so hard to find. Using revealing anecdotes, case studies and quizzes, Susan reveals ten essential steps to help you define your own plan of action and change your approach to dating and love forever. Are you stuck with a dead-end lover? Learn how to say no to B.T.N (Better Than Nothing) relationships. Are you…


Book cover of A Taste for the Beautiful: The Evolution of Attraction
Book cover of Darwin and the Making of Sexual Selection
Book cover of Looking for a Few Good Males: Female Choice in Evolutionary Biology

Share your top 3 reads of 2024!

And get a beautiful page showing off your 3 favorite reads.

1,188

readers submitted
so far, will you?

5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in choosing a mate, evolutionary biology, and romantic love?

Choosing A Mate 20 books
Romantic Love 943 books