The most recommended interpersonal communication books

Who picked these books? Meet our 69 experts.

69 authors created a book list connected to interpersonal communication, and here are their favorite interpersonal communication books.
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Book cover of How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide

Melinda Lewis Author Of Social Policy for Effective Practice: A Strengths Approach

From my list on igniting students’ passions about policy change.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a policy advocate, grassroots activist, university professor, and author committed to social change—at scale—to advance social work values of racial, economic, environmental, and social justice. Recognizing that most social workers are drawn to our profession because they want to make a difference in the lives of their clients, one by one, I invest my energies and skills to making policy study and practice accessible, relevant, and urgent. My students quickly get used to noting the book recommendations I sprinkle throughout class discussions and in assignment feedback, because when you see the world through a social policy frame, everything has a policy implication! 

Melinda's book list on igniting students’ passions about policy change

Melinda Lewis Why did Melinda love this book?

There are many examples in this book that make my students angry—which is one of the reasons I want them to read it.

As people committed to engaging with others to pursue justice, we have to become proficient—if never comfortable—in having conversations with people who do not share our worldview, and in using our active listening skills and deep regard for human relationships to find common ground.

The skills and practices in this book equip us for effective engagement beyond the silos we frequent, help us see our own arguments as others may encounter them, and catalyze the kind of thoughtful interactions social change demands. 

By Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Have Impossible Conversations as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a civil conversation with someone who has a different opinion. Dialogue is shut down when perspectives clash. Heated debates on Facebook and Twitter often lead to shaming, hindering any possibility of productive discourse. How to Have Impossible Conversations guides readers through the process of having effective, civil discussions about any divisive issues--not just religious faith but climate change, race, gender, poverty, immigration, and gun control.

Coauthors Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay distinguish between two types of conversations: those that are oriented toward arriving at truth, and those that may require…


Book cover of How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want

Aryanne Oade Author Of Bullying in Teams: How to Survive It and Thrive

From my list on workplace bullying.

Why am I passionate about this?

Aryanne Oade works as a chartered psychologist, executive coach, and author of eight books. She has over thirty years’ experience in guiding clients through the challenge of complex workplace dynamics, and specialises in enabling detoxification and recovery from workplace bullying. Author of the best-selling award-winner Free Yourself from Workplace Bullying: Become Bully-Proof and Regain Control of Your Life, Aryanne’s work and books have been featured in The Independent, Sunday Independent (Ireland), Psychologies, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, The Belfast Telegraph, HR Magazine, Safety & Health Practitioner, SHP Online, Nursing Times, and Midwives.

Aryanne's book list on workplace bullying

Aryanne Oade Why did Aryanne love this book?

I love the simplicity of this book. I recommend it to clients who have a hard time being assertive. The book gives straightfoward, no nonsense input on how to handle a variety of challenging situations in a way which is both self-protective and likely to enable the reader to get a favourable outcome. Situations include how to say no without alienating the other person; asking in a way which makes it likely you’ll get what you want; and dealing with putdowns or unjust criticism.

By Meryl Runion,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Get to the point! Learn how to use Power Phrases to say what you mean...and get what you want. If you have ever walked away from a situation because you didn't know what to say, or you didn't know what to say but you spoke anyway, you know about all the stress, confusion, wasted time, missed opportunities, and hurt feelings you could have avoided if only you'd said the right thing at the right time. Now internationally acclaimed executive coach and communication guru Meryl Runion introduces you to a powerful, easy-to-master communication technology that lets you say what you mean,…


Book cover of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Pavini Moray Author Of How to Hold Power: A Somatic Approach to Becoming a Leader People Love and Respect

From my list on creating business relationships that feel alive.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a human, I struggle with staying connected during conflict. Because conflict naturally shows up in all relationships, I had to figure out how to do it better, or die alone! My path has woven through studying conflict resolution, becoming a relationship therapist, doing deep learning within my own life partnership, and exploring the realm of somatic psychology in my doctoral work. I long for a world where we have the skills we need to work through conflict without resorting to violence. In my dreams, the world is able to coexist with love and conflict. Our relationships thrive when we speak our full truth, and embody our values in action.

Pavini's book list on creating business relationships that feel alive

Pavini Moray Why did Pavini love this book?

The teachings of NVC are essential for those wishing to deepen their compassionate hearts.

NVC has helped my partner and me navigate many difficult conversations while remaining connected, present, and caring. Instead of communication breakdown, NVC teaches a focus on identifying needs and expressing emotions before making a doable request. The skills of this practice are essential building blocks for kind and honest communication. 

By Marshall B. Rosenberg,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Nonviolent Communication as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


5,000,000 COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE • TRANSLATED IN MORE THAN 35 LANGUAGES

What is Violent Communication?
 
If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.”
 
What is Nonviolent Communication?
 
Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
 
• Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and…


Book cover of How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Michael Leppert Author Of Flipping the Circle

From Michael's 3 favorite reads in 2024.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author

Michael's 3 favorite reads in 2024

Michael Leppert Why did Michael love this book?

I teach communication, both speech and writing. I'm a fan of David Brooks books and columns. My liberal friends give me grief about it all the time. But I find him to be thoughtful and thorough in the way he frames his thoughts and research. This book will change how I teach college students, and any other group that I may appear in front of, to connect with each other through better conversations. I have already developed a workshop on the topic inspired by the book, and I spent a week teaching the methods in my classes last fall, and will again this spring.

I expect to be a student of the science he details in the book for the remainder of my teaching career. Yes, it was that transformative for me.

By David Brooks,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked How to Know a Person as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us…


Book cover of Let's Talk about Hard Things: The Life-Changing Conversations That Connect Us

Angie Marie Author Of The Cycle Syncing Handbook: Identify Hormonal Patterns, Build Holistic Habits, and Embrace the Power of Your Menstrual Cycle

From my list on books for women who want to live more creatively/with more creativity.

Why am I passionate about this?

In my 20s, after always doing what I was “supposed” to, I found myself trapped in a relationship I wanted out of, in a job that barely paid the bills, and in a mindset of scarcity. After my birth control almost killed me, I dove into the mind-body connection that’s often stifled by sexism and societal expectations, becoming fascinated with pushing against the status quo and living more adventurously. I realized I needed to sincerely take my life decisions into my own hands. Since then, I’ve run ultramarathons, become an entrepreneur, and taught countless menstruators how to listen to their own bodies so they can build a life they love.

Angie's book list on books for women who want to live more creatively/with more creativity

Angie Marie Why did Angie love this book?

When my friend’s dad died suddenly from a pancreatic cancer diagnosis, I had no clue how to help. It felt incredibly awkward, risky, and confusing: Do I text her? Give her space? Ask if she wants a hug. Or say the common, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” (which, it turns out, is not helpful).

Later, I devoured the stories Anna collected about the 5 topics we tend to be hush-hush about death, sex, money, family, and identity. Reading a diverse set of snapshots from the most challenging aspects of being a human made me no longer want to tread lightly around tough conversations. In fact, I want to welcome them.

When my partner’s friend died young, as awkward as it felt to talk about it initially, I knew it was crucial to allow a space to share memories, expose feelings, and verbally process the events. When…

By Anna Sale,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Let's Talk about Hard Things as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the host of the popular WNYC podcast Death, Sex, & Money, Let&;s Talk About Hard Things is an invitation to discuss the tough topics that all of us encounter.

Anna Sale wants you to have that conversation. You know the one. The one that you&;ve been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years. The one that you&;ve thought &;they&;ll never understand&; or &;do I really want to bring that up?&; or &;it&;s not going to go well, so why even try?&;

Sale is the founder and host of WNYC&;s popular, award-winning podcast Death, Sex, & Money, or as the…


Book cover of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People

Kurt Mortensen Author Of The Laws of Charisma: How to Captivate, Inspire, and Influence for Maximum Success

From my list on how to inspire, influence, and become more charismatic.

Why am I passionate about this?

Kurt Mortensen is an international authority on charisma, negotiation, and influence. Kurt has spent over 20 years researching influence, leadership, sales, persuasive presentations, and he teaches at the university level. Kurt is the author of Persuasion IQ, Laws of Charisma, and the best-selling book Maximum Influence. His books have been translated into 28 languages. He is also the host of the popular podcast Maximize Your Influence. Mortensen teaches that professional success, personal relationships, and leadership all depend on the ability to persuade, influence, and motivate others. The key is to get others to want to do, what you want them to do and like doing it. 

Kurt's book list on how to inspire, influence, and become more charismatic

Kurt Mortensen Why did Kurt love this book?

Vanessa calls herself a human behavior investigator. She talks about the formula for charisma and how to read people. These critical influence tools help people adapt their ability to bond with people and persuade them how they want to be persuaded. This book gives you the hacks to influence better and faster. I love how she focuses on first impressions. We all know that the first impression is critical to having charisma and connecting with people.

By Vanessa Van Edwards,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Captivate as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Do you feel awkward at networking events? Do you wonder what your date really thinks of you? Do you wish you could decode people? You need to learn the science of people.
 
As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And she’s cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on…


Book cover of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Jessica L. Borelli Author Of Nature Meets Nurture: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Resilient Kids

From my list on people who want to connect with their child.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve been fascinated by relationships since I was a kid. I grew up a keen observer of the relationships in my own family, mostly focused on the way in which the dynamics were difficult for me. This led me to develop a strong interest in psychology, a passion I pursued in my undergraduate education. I became acutely intrigued by an idea a professor exposed me to early on – that experiences of safety and security within attachment relationships are essential in order for children to thrive, and that without safety/security, they can experience chronic struggles. This early interest paved the way for what developed into my career as a psychology professor and therapist.

Jessica's book list on people who want to connect with their child

Jessica L. Borelli Why did Jessica love this book?

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is an old book but one I wish I had discovered before I had my own kids. I now intend to give it to all of my clients and friends when they become new parents. 

By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish,

Why should I read it?

6 authors picked How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

30th Anniversary Edition updated with new insights from the next generation. You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this thirtieth-anniversary edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based on feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication--illustrated with…


Book cover of Backable: The Surprising Truth Behind What Makes People Take a Chance on You

Patrick J. McGinnis Author Of The 10% Entrepreneur: Live Your Startup Dream Without Quitting Your Day Job

From my list on for part-time entrepreneurs.

Why am I passionate about this?

I never thought I would be an entrepreneur. In fact, I was happy in corporate life. But when my job in corporate America blew up, I realized that I need to rethink my entire approach to building my career and my life. The result of these efforts is The 10% Entrepreneur. Over the past decade, I have integrated entrepreneurship into my life on a part-time basis, reaping meaningful financial and psychic rewards in the process. In the process, I have taught hundreds of thousands of others that entrepreneurship does not have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.

Patrick's book list on for part-time entrepreneurs

Patrick J. McGinnis Why did Patrick love this book?

This is a compelling and fast-paced read about how you can develop a compelling pitch that will convince people to back you. Whether you are looking for investors, customers, business partners, or employees, knowing how to pitch your ideas in a compelling way is absolutely essential. This book dives deep into that challenge with tons of ideas and advice.

By Suneel Gupta, Carlye Adler,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Backable as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'This remarkable book can be your secret weapon for bringing your idea to life.' DAN PINK, bestselling author of Drive

'Whether you want to get ahead inside a company or build a startup from the ground up, this fascinating book is a must-read.' REID HOFFMAN, co-founder of LinkedIn

'A super-readable and actionable look at how to make your ideas take flight. Whether you're pitching a brand new startup or an idea for your company's next product, you'll find a wealth of insights and stories throughout.'
MIKE KRIEGER, co-founder of Instagram

No one makes it alone. But there's a reason why…


Book cover of An Effort to Understand: Hearing One Another (and Ourselves) in a Nation Cracked in Half

Tim Muehlhoff Author Of Winsome Conviction: Disagreeing Without Dividing the Church

From my list on to avoid an argument with someone close.

Why am I passionate about this?

For the past 30 years I’ve focused on one question: Can individuals who have deep differences come together to cultivate common ground, compassion, and civility? Even with deep differences can we still engage in productive conversations? As an author, professor, and co-director of the Winsome Conviction Project my attempt to answer this question continues. The books I’ve listed have given guidance to not only come up with an answer but more importantly, live it out with those close to me. To hear me put theory into practice, listen to my Winsome Conviction podcast (with co-host Rick Langer) which tackles divisive issues with the hope of bringing diverse people together to talk.  

Tim's book list on to avoid an argument with someone close

Tim Muehlhoff Why did Tim love this book?

As the co-director of the Winsome Conviction Project, I am committed to re-introducing civility back into our public disagreements. However, civility is often a misunderstood concept. Murray does a wonderful job pointing out what civility is not—mere niceness without purpose. He reminds us that civility is not the ultimate goal in our disagreements. Rather, it is a means of communication—rules we can agree on—that allows us to dig deep into the issues which easily separate us. If you find that politics are putting emotional distance between you and those close to you, then this is the book for you.  

By David Murray,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked An Effort to Understand as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"An insightful book packed with wonderful writing, practical advice, and hope for a better, kinder future." —Jonathan Eig, author of Ali: A Life

You're ready to give up. Throw up your hands and walk out the door. You don't know what else to say—to some dear family and close friends, let alone the crazy strangers that seem to populate half the country.

Congratulations: You're ready to read An Effort to Understand.

But don't worry. This is not a book about civility.

Instead, David Murray (blogger, speechwriter, rhetoric authority, and professional curmudgeon) is urging readers to join him in a near-spiritual…


Book cover of Minimal Languages in Action

Anna Wierzbicka Author Of What Christians Believe: The Story of God and People in Minimal English

From my list on meaning and language and why it matters.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am professor of linguistics (Emerita) at the Australian National University. I was born in Poland, but having married an Australian I have now lived for 50 years in Australia. In 2007, my daughter Mary Besemeres and I published Translating Lives: Living with Two Languages and Cultures, based on our own experience. I have three big ideas which have shaped my life’s work, and which are all related to my experience and to my thinking about that experience. As a Christian (a Catholic) I believe in the unity of the “human race”, and I am very happy to see that our discovery of “Basic Human” underlying all languages vindicates this unity.

Anna's book list on meaning and language and why it matters

Anna Wierzbicka Why did Anna love this book?

Minimal languages are based on words which are clear, accessible and easy-to-translate. This book presents a diverse and fascinating range of studies, illustrating this new approach to meaning and communication. The authors show, how they are putting minimal languages into service; for example, to help language learners understand the invisible culture behind French or Korean ways of speaking; to improve “easy language” materials for people with linguistic and cognitive troubles; to inform better health communication about cancer or COVID-19. One of my favourite chapters shows how a pediatric tool for assessing mother-infant emotional connection was adapted into simply-worded versions in English, Finnish, Chinese, and four other languages.

By Cliff Goddard (editor),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Minimal Languages in Action as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This edited book explores the rising interest in minimal languages - radically simplified languages using cross-translatable words and grammar, fulfilling the widely-recognised need to use language which is clear, accessible and easy to translate. The authors draw on case studies from around the world to demonstrate how early adopters have been putting Minimal English, Minimal Finnish, and other minimal languages into action: in language teaching and learning, 'easy language' projects, agricultural development training, language revitalisation, intercultural education, paediatric assessment, and health messaging. As well as reporting how minimal languages are being put into service, the contributors explore how minimal languages…


Book cover of How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide
Book cover of How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want
Book cover of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

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