The most recommended psychology books about the differences between men and women

Who picked these books? Meet our 12 experts.

12 authors created a book list connected to the differences between men and women, and here are their favorite differences between men and women books.
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Book cover of Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud

Lisa Lindquist Dorr Author Of White Women, Rape, and the Power of Race in Virginia, 1900-1960

From my list on sex in the past.

Why am I passionate about this?

Over my twenty years as a historian, the common thread in my work is the gap between how people are supposed to behave and how they actually do behave. From interracial sexual relationships in the segregated South, to rum smuggling from Cuba during Prohibition, to abortion on college campuses before Roe, I'm interested in how people work around rules they don’t like. And rules about sex are some of the most ignored rules of all. Reading about strange beliefs and common desires connect us to our ancestors. Being a professor of history at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama allows me to research bad behavior in the past to my heart’s content.

Lisa's book list on sex in the past

Lisa Lindquist Dorr Why did Lisa love this book?

We assume people have always recognized two sexes, male and female. But did they? In the past, people believed men and women were the same sex; women were just incomplete, unfinished men. Men and women had the same sexual organs, with women’s located internally. Surprisingly, if conditions were right, women could even turn into men. They also thought women needed to achieve orgasm to conceive.  That’s right. For over a thousand years of western history, women’s sexual pleasure was as important as men’s. 

By Thomas Laqueur,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Making Sex as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This is a book about the making and unmaking of sex over the centuries. It tells the astonishing story of sex in the West from the ancients to the moderns in a precise account of developments in reproductive anatomy and physiology. We cannot fail to recognize the players in Thomas Laqueur's story-the human sexual organs and pleasures, food, blood, semen, egg, sperm-but we will be amazed at the plots into which they have been woven by scientists, political activists, literary figures, and theorists of every stripe.

Laqueur begins with the question of why, in the late eighteenth century, woman's orgasm…


Book cover of Biology at Work: Rethinking Sexual Equality

Stephen K. Sanderson Author Of Human Nature and the Evolution of Society

From my list on understanding the biological basis of social life.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a PhD in sociology but know almost as much about anthropology. I am a comparative sociologist specializing in the study of the entire range of human societies. This gives me an advantage in knowing which social practices are universal, which are only common, and which are uncommon or not found at all. This is critical in being able to assess the basic features of human nature. For over thirty years I have been studying the literature on Darwinian approaches to human behavior, especially sociobiology and evolutionary psychology. I am one of the leading sociologists in the world today studying the biological basis of social behavior. 

Stephen's book list on understanding the biological basis of social life

Stephen K. Sanderson Why did Stephen love this book?

The author challenges the prevailing orthodoxy that the differences between men and women, and their respective roles in the work world, are the result of differential socialization. His view is that there are important biological differences between the sexes that lead them to choose different kinds of work. Women, for example, prefer jobs that involve working with people whereas men prefer working with things. Women also frequently choose part-time work because this allows them to spend more time with their children. Men are more likely than women to compete for high-status jobs because they are naturally more competitive than women. Male-female differences have been shaped over hundreds of thousands of years by evolution.

By Kingsley R. Browne,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Biology at Work as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Does biology help explain why women, on average, earn less money than men? Is there any evolutionary basis for the scarcity of female CEOs in Fortune 500 companies? According to Kingsley Browne, the answer may be yes.

Biology at Work brings an evolutionary perspective to bear on issues of women in the workplace: the "glass ceiling," the "gender gap" in pay, sexual harassment, and occupational segregation. While acknowledging the role of discrimination and sexist socialization, Browne suggests that until we factor real biological differences between men and women into the equation, the explanation remains incomplete.

Browne looks at behavioral differences…


Book cover of You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

Carol T. Kulik Author Of Human Resources for the Non-HR Manager

From my list on making work a better place to be.

Why am I passionate about this?

The average person spends over 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime – that’s roughly one quarter to one third of a person’s life. I’m an academic researcher who studies work. I know how to design workplaces that are good for organizations (high productivity) and the people who work in them (high employee well-being). But if we leave it all up to senior management, we won’t generate positive changes fast enough. There’s a robust body of evidence that we can all use to make our local workplaces more supportive, inclusive, and fulfilling. I’m on a mission to make the world a better place, one workplace at a time. 

Carol's book list on making work a better place to be

Carol T. Kulik Why did Carol love this book?

Deborah Tannen has a unique ear for the different ways that men and women communicate.

The book resonated with my personal experiences, and helped me to understand why I was having different kinds of conversations with men than with women – particularly around work issues. Professor Tannen emphasizes that these communication styles are taught to us when we are very young (and they are reflected in the different games men and women play as children).

But that means we can change our communication styles too – we can communicate more clearly about our work-related needs, and adapt our communication patterns to better align with the listener. Professor Tannen inspired me to bring research evidence to the attention of people who can use it in their daily lives.  

By Deborah Tannen,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked You Just Don't Understand as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This guide highlights problems of communication between men and women, who can interpret the same conversation completely differently, even when there is no apparent misunderstanding. It examines how the sexes can work through communication barriers and get to the heart of the matter.


Book cover of We Should All Be Feminists

Fatimah Gilliam Author Of Race Rules: What Your Black Friend Won't Tell You

From my list on that helped me on my social justice journey.

Why am I passionate about this?

Look around us—DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) is under attack. From challenges to the Voting Rights Act and bans on books to the suppression of history and education, protections and rights are being rolled back. We must all recognize that systemic racism, patriarchy, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination harm not only the oppressed but also those who ostensibly benefit from these structures. It is time to move beyond passive or performative allyship and become proactive Disruptors—individuals willing to stand up and use their voices to advocate for equity and mutual respect. 

Fatimah's book list on that helped me on my social justice journey

Fatimah Gilliam Why did Fatimah love this book?

I am deeply connected with this essay. It filled me with joy that someone understood my experiences. How sexual politics permeates a lot of the daily interactions we experience, and just what it means to be a woman.

It had me reexamine my ideas of womanhood and my engagement with Patriarchy. This elegant, eloquent book is an empowering call to tear down gender hierarchies.

By Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked We Should All Be Feminists as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The highly acclaimed, provocative essay on feminism and sexual politics—from the award-winning author of Americanah

In this personal, eloquently-argued essay—adapted from the much-admired TEDx talk of the same name—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie offers readers a unique definition of feminism for the twenty-first century. Drawing extensively on her own experiences and her deep understanding of the often masked realities of sexual politics, here is one remarkable author’s exploration of what it means to be a woman now—and an of-the-moment rallying cry for why we should all be feminists.


Book cover of Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps -- And What We Can Do about It

Christia Spears Brown Author Of Unraveling Bias: How Prejudice Has Shaped Children for Generations and Why It's Time to Break the Cycle

From my list on raising bias-free kids.

Why am I passionate about this?

Christia Spears Brown is an author, researcher, and professor of Developmental Psychology. She is also the Director of the Center for Equality and Social Justice at the University of Kentucky. She earned her Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin. Brown began her academic career on the faculty of the University of California at Los Angeles. Her research focuses on how children develop gender and ethnic stereotypes, how children understand gender and ethnic discrimination, and how discrimination and stereotypes affect children and teens’ lives. As part of her research on discrimination, she also examines the perpetration and acceptance of sexual harassment and how children understand politics, public policies, and societal inequalities.

Christia's book list on raising bias-free kids

Christia Spears Brown Why did Christia love this book?

This book holds a magnifying glass up to the gender differences and stereotypes we see every day. Eliot describes in easy-to-understand language the neuroscience behind gender differences and details how small differences between boys and girls at birth become amplified over the course of childhood by parents, teachers, and the culture. 

By Lise Eliot,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Pink Brain, Blue Brain as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

An important scientific exploration of the differences between boys and girls that breaks down damaging gender stereotypes and offers practical guidance for parents and educators.

In the past decade, we've heard a lot about the innate differences between males and females. As a result, we've come to accept that boys can't focus in a classroom and girls are obsessed with relationships. That's just the way they're built.

In Pink Brain, Blue Brain, neuroscientist Lise Eliot turns that thinking on its head. Based on years of exhaustive research and her own work in the new field of plasticity, Eliot argues that…


Book cover of Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference

Macaela Mackenzie Author Of Money, Power, Respect: How Women in Sports Are Shaping the Future of Feminism

From my list on explaining why the gender gap is bullsh*t.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a journalist, I write about women and power. I’ve written about everything from taboos in women’s health, to the importance of reproductive autonomy, to the ability of women athletes to shape culture. Across all of these subjects, my work is rooted in the desire to explore the factors that drive gender inequity and how we can create lasting cultural changes that will close the gap. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in writing over 2,500 stories, it’s that gender inequity—from the pay gap, to the motherhood penalty—always comes back to power. And to one group’s desire to keep it at all costs. 

Macaela's book list on explaining why the gender gap is bullsh*t

Macaela Mackenzie Why did Macaela love this book?

For anyone who has ever wondered if there is any truth behind sexist gender stereotypes—women are wired to be empathetic caregivers, men are biologically designed to be analytical problem-solvers, for example—award-winning academic and writer Cordelia Fine breaks down what’s really happening in the “male brain” vs. the “female brain.”

Spoiler alert: gender differences aren’t so much hardwired as they are culturally conditioned. I found Delusions of Gender incredibly informative and empowering—if stereotypical gender differences are the result of cultural conditioning, that means they can be changed. 

By Cordelia Fine,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Delusions of Gender as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

It's the twenty-first century, and although we tried to rear unisex children-boys who play with dolls and girls who like trucks-we failed. Even though the glass ceiling is cracked, most women stay comfortably beneath it. And everywhere we hear about vitally important "hardwired" differences between male and female brains. The neuroscience that we read about in magazines, newspaper articles, books, and sometimes even scientific journals increasingly tells a tale of two brains, and the result is more often than not a validation of the status quo. Women, it seems, are just too intuitive for math; men too focused for housework.…


Book cover of Parity of the Sexes

Valerie M. Hudson Author Of The First Political Order: How Sex Shapes Governance and National Security Worldwide

From my list on feminist international relations.

Why am I passionate about this?

Valerie M. Hudson is a University Distinguished Professor and holds the George H.W. Bush Chair in the Department of International Affairs at The Bush School of Government and Public Service at Texas A&M University, where she directs the Program on Women, Peace, and Security. Hudson was named to the list of Foreign Policy magazine’s Top 100 Global Thinkers, and was recognized as Distinguished Scholar of Foreign Policy Analysis (FPA/ISA) and awarded an inaugural Andrew Carnegie Fellowship as well as an inaugural Fulbright Distinguished Chair in the Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences at Australian National University. She has been selected as the Distinguished Scholar Award recipient for 2022 by the Political Demography and Geography Section (PDG/ISA) of the International Studies Association. 

Valerie's book list on feminist international relations

Valerie M. Hudson Why did Valerie love this book?

This slim volume by the French philosopher is one I have read many times; nearly every sentence is underlined. Though not strictly about international affairs, it was Agacinski that first sparked in me the sight of the far horizon: diarchy as the political system that should obtain between men and women. Once you understand that the face of humanity is dual, not single, everything changes. Agacinski was one of the crucial voices that led to the adoption of party candidate parity as the law of the land in France.

By Sylviane Agacinski, Lisa Walsh (translator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Parity of the Sexes as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Sylviane Agacinski has never shied away from controversy. Vilified by some-including many feminists-and celebrated by others as a pioneer of gender equality, she has galvanized the French political scene. Her articulation of the theory of "parity" helped inspire a law that went into effect in May 2000 requiring the country's political parties to fill 50 percent of the candidacies in every race with women. Sylviane Agacinski, according to The New Yorker, "is sometimes credited with making parite respectable." Agacinski begins with the notion that sexual difference should be affirmed rather than denied. Sex, Agacinski points out, is not a social,…


Book cover of Genderspeak: Men, Women and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

Shelle Rose Charvet Author Of Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

From my list on books for nice people to be more persuasive.

Why am I passionate about this?

Not many people know that I was so timid as a child; I used to burst into tears if I had to ask for something in a store. Now, I am known for my “out there” presentation style and mastery of words. Since 1982, I have been working with individuals and groups to help them get better at persuading, solving conflicts, and having inspiring relationships. So, how can you be a nice, caring person and still be persuasive, even with the most skeptical of people? These books helped me do this.

Shelle's book list on books for nice people to be more persuasive

Shelle Rose Charvet Why did Shelle love this book?

I have read this book so many times! It changed how I communicate with people operating from the Traditional Male Model or the Traditional Female Model.

She explains that someone’s Operating Metaphor can be “Life is a game” or “Life is like a traditional classroom”. Game players want to win, and students want to get a great evaluation or pass an exam, so I need to shift my communication style for each. 

And who knew that women and men have different definitions of common terms? A lie is either: “Saying something that is not true” or “Something that is not true and harmful!” This book showed me how specifically to develop my flexibility and stop being so judgy!

By Suzette Haden Elgin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Genderspeak as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Communications guru Suzette Haden Elgin bridges the gender gap. In this groundbreaking book, the internationally acclaimed author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self--Defense helps you anticipate and avoid the frustrating conversational knots in which men and women all too often find themselves entangled. Picking up where other authors leave off, Suzette Haden Elgin arms you with her proven techniques for dealing effectively with verbal confrontation in your personal and professional lives. She zeroes in on how to: aeo Identify the differences between womena s and mena s perceptions of the world and avoid the dangerous semantic traps they create…


Book cover of Tomboy: The Surprising History and Future of Girls Who Dare to Be Different

Renée Sentilles Author Of American Tomboys, 1850-1915

From my list on tomboys by a historian of tomboys.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a young girl, I thought I was a tomboy—or I wanted to be one, because the image of a “normal” girl was far too pink and frothy and shallow for my tastes. For me, being a tomboy was less about being boy-like than being unable to claim the markers of femininity. As a historian of women and girls, I wondered how young women saw their futures in this modernizing America, with its True Women and New Women and the opening of advanced education. Did tomboys grow into the rebels who changed the world? Or, like the tomboys in so many fictional stories, did they renounce their assertive sense of self upon marriage and motherhood?

Renée's book list on tomboys by a historian of tomboys

Renée Sentilles Why did Renée love this book?

This one is for girls who want to know more about tomboys in the here and now. Davis essentially asks “how did we get to this time of transgender and nonbinary identity?” She interrogates the term “tomboy” as a way of understanding how our understanding of gender norms has changed and remained unchanged—at the same time.

By Lisa Selin Davis,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Tomboy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Based on the author’s viral New York Times op-ed, this heartfelt book is a celebration and exploration of the tomboy phenomenon and the future of girlhood.

We are in the middle of a cultural revolution, where the spectrum of gender and sexual identities is seemingly unlimited. So when author and journalist Lisa Selin Davis's six-year-old daughter first called herself a "tomboy," Davis was hesitant. Her child favored sweatpants and T-shirts over anything pink or princess-themed, just like the sporty, skinned-kneed girls Davis had played with as a kid. But "tomboy" seemed like an outdated word—why use a word with "boy"…


Book cover of Why So Slow?: The Advancement of Women

Chris Wind Author Of This is what happens

From my list on what it's like being female in a sexist society.

Why am I passionate about this?

I started keeping a journal when I was fifteen. Ten years later, I had the raw material for Fugue, a portrait of the artist as a young woman (I had read Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man) that ends in celebration, rather than suicide (I had also recently read Plath's The Belljar). It did not get published. Thirty years later, I had so little, far too little, to celebrate.  The portrait had become one of relentless frustration and persistent failure, despite my continued effort ... so much effort ... And so I wrote This is what happens, dedicating it to all the passionate, hard-working, competent women — it's not you. 

Chris' book list on what it's like being female in a sexist society

Chris Wind Why did Chris love this book?

On occasion, most notably in a personal letter to Valian, I have described This is what happens as a fictional version of her book. She covers sexism at home, sexism at work, the effects on ourselves, the effects on women in the professions, on women in academia... It was, is, very gratifying to have one's experience validated!

By Virginia Valian,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Why So Slow? as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Virginia Valian uses concepts and data from psychology, sociology, economics, and biology to explain the disparity in the professional advancement of men and women.

Why do so few women occupy positions of power and prestige? Virginia Valian uses concepts and data from psychology, sociology, economics, and biology to explain the disparity in the professional advancement of men and women. According to Valian, men and women alike have implicit hypotheses about gender differences—gender schemas—that create small sex differences in characteristics, behaviors, perceptions, and evaluations of men and women. Those small imbalances accumulate to advantage men and disadvantage women. The most important…