The most recommended books on patriarchy

Mothers are too often blamed for their children’s and adult daughters’ problems. I regard Paula Caplan’s book as the quintessential text on understanding how patriarchy blames mothers and how mother-blaming harms mothers, women, and the mother-daughter relationship. Paula exposes the myths surrounding motherhood – revealing that there is no such thing as a “perfect mother.” 

This is more than a book—it’s an incredible call to change, and in many ways the other side of the coin for the advice for working dads. 

Mary Portas has a strong insight here—that the patriarchy has driven much of what we see, hear, and feel as ‘the world’ today, and that to start to change that, we all need to lean much more into traditionally ‘feminine’ qualities such as cooperation, collaboration, and more to start to live humanities fuller potential. 

I saw Mary speak after getting this book, and it was a double whammy of incredible change. It’s one of the most inspiring books I’ve read in an awfully long time.

Recipe for a Perfect Wife is elegant and intriguing and hits on many of the character and thematic notes that I look for. The relationship between the main character, Alice, and the house that she moves to and comes to resent is palpable and relatable.

I was all in from the moment Alice finds a mysterious cookbook in the house, waiting for her next move and for Brown to reveal more about Alice and what makes her tick.

The best compliment I can pay to any novel is that I was sad when it ended. I don’t know how to explain that feeling, but I know it when I feel it. 

This is a pair of novels, French classics that were also made into two memorable movies. In a rural village in Provence, an old man and his only remaining relative cast a greedy eyes on some land. They need a hidden spring that is on the land to irrigate the flowers they intend to grow which they think will make them a fortune. But first, they need to drive out the owner and his family.The father of this family is a hunchback trying to succeed in a hostile world. An evil plot slowly unfolds and comes to tragic fruition. Ten years later, the daughter of the family returns to seek her revenge. A moral tale full of wonderful local detail, like my other choices it features a brave, invincible female protagonist battling overwhelming odds. 

This book is very emotional and affecting to read for me. It presents two of the earliest autobiographical accounts from American women, with an introduction by Sharon Halevi. As they trace their lives, they depict a world in which childhood, as modern readers understand, does not exist, and even young women need to navigate the intricacies of their controlling and patriarchal world. I often ask what has changed and what has unfortunately stayed the same.

A poet, playwright, essayist, teacher, and activist, Jordan had more than 25 published works, including seven books of essays. 

As a feminist and women’s studies teacher and scholar who was focused on bringing race into the center of my activism and analysis, I learned so much from June Jordan. 
On Call, includes essays that explored intersectionality years before Kimberlé Crenshaw coined the term and theorized the overlapping social constructions of race, class, and gender. 

The topics of the 18 essays are wide-ranging, from patriarchy, to Black English, to the enslaved 18th-century poet Phillis Wheatley, and a hilarious short essay on the election of Ronald Reagan written in Black English.  I taught “Report from the Bahamas” in almost all of my courses. 

Like all of her essays, it is written with a poet’s sensibility. Every word matters.  

If you seriously care about racial healing, you have to read this book. White people are so damn afraid to say the wrong thing or to offend anyone when it comes to the topic of race, that we end up not saying anything at all. And silence is death to a movement. If you care about Black and Brown lives, then this book will shake you up in a good way, and remind you of the importance of being a good listener to the concerns of people of color. When you listen, you can have empathy. When you have empathy, you can start to be a part of the racial reckoning and healing that’s starting to take place in our nation.

I had to read this when it came out because it felt ripped from the headlines. Sarah Lai has left behind her Hollywood dreams of filmmaking for a quieter, simpler life. But a journalist reaches out and drags her past to the forefront by asking questions about Sarah’s experiences working with a celebrated producer. There have been… complaints. From women. A lot of women.

Sound familiar? This is a wholly fictional take on past events, but it also forces the reader to examine the ways in which we might be complicit in holding up systems, and what we can do to break bad patterns.

Engaging, timely, and I couldn’t put it down. Again, women find their voices and stand up for other women around them. That’s a narrative I can’t miss. 

The Bible contains stories of unspeakable violence and brutality against women: the rape of Abraham and Sarah’s enslaved servant Hagar, the incestuous assault of David’s daughter Tamar, the human sacrifice of the warrior Jephthah’s unnamed daughter, and other horrifying accounts. Scripture also contains passages by the Apostle Paul and men writing in his name—passages that restrict women’s roles in churches and which subordinate women in households. In the late twentieth century, feminist scholars challenged these passages and critiqued the patriarchy found in the Bible. But women’s challenge to patriarchal biblical texts did not begin in the twentieth century, In this essay collection, authors identify women working in the 1600s, 1700s, and 1800s who had similar insights into the gendered problems found in the Bible. 

If you want a comprehensive reference work on Byzantium, this is much the best, with short articles on every aspect of Byzantine civilization that you can think of and on many aspects that you wouldn’t have thought of. Kazhdan, who emigrated from Russia to America, was the most learned of recent Byzantinists and was interested in almost everything about his chosen field. Although a great many scholars contributed to this dictionary, Kazhdan’s point of view and profound erudition influenced almost every article. 

Anyone interested in Byzantium (and some readers who hadn’t realized that they would be interested) will spend hours looking through these three volumes and will consider those hours well spent.