The most recommended books about gender

Rhea Ewing’s Fine is a must read for anyone interested in gender.

It’s a compassionate and nuanced compilation of interviews with people across the gender spectrum about their experience with gender and how they make sense of it. There’s no agenda, and there’s no simple takeaway, just a glimpse into real people’s lived experiences.

The comic/graphic novel format adds brilliantly to the reader’s exploration of what gender is and how it works.

This book was recommended to me by a fellow writer with excellent taste, so I knew it would be something special.

What sticks with me about this book is that Horton has created a world and feeling that I found enrapturing for reasons I find it hard to put my finger on. The story follows the complicated relationship between two students and a university professor and insightfully examines power, age, and gender dynamics in a way that asks more questions than it answers, all of which was fascinating.

But what really shines about this novel is the way the characters feel absolutely vivid and real and how the sparse dialogue and description (yes it is somewhat reminiscent of Sally Rooney) work to shape a world and a feeling that drew me in completely.

Upon finishing this book, I thought quite highly of it. Now, almost a year later, I can’t… show more.

This amazing Australian YA weaves such a delicate web. A quiet, introverted dystopia, and at its heart is the wonderful Hayley. Hayley is such an interesting female protagonist here not because she is deadly or combative, but because of her incredible perseverance and curiosity. Hive is the first in a truly compelling duology. 

James Tiptree Jr. is really Alice Sheldon. She wrote under a male pseudonym for many years due to the male domination of science fiction at the time. Meet Me at Infinity is a great introduction to her work, as it contains both fiction and biographical pieces. She’s a tremendous writer who I found to be very inspiring. Her ability to craft impactful stories with strong female characters is amazing. The Tiptree Award is named after her. 

What a phenomenal novel by Ann Leckie! I came across Ann Leckie’s series as I was working through books about cloning while I was writing my books. What do I love about it? The concepts, for sure: AI ships being negotiated, the entire idea of shipping minds around, a leader who sabotages herself to the detriment of her realm. All of these have been done to some extent before, but not at the scale that Ann Leckie takes on. She also manages to avoid some dead clone tropes and dead or dying AI tropes while she entertains. This novel (and series) were done well and the characters pop with personality. Loved it!

Another classic, written in 1984 by the author of Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape, Brownmiller covers a lot: body, hair, clothes, voice, skin, movement, emotion, ambition. She says in her prologue, "I offer this book ... in the hope that the feminine ideal will no longer be used to perpetuate inequality between the sexes, and that exaggeration will not be required to rest secure in biological gender." 

The idea that certain colors are only for certain genders has always bothered me. So, I love that this book addresses this subject without being “preachy.” It simply says that all colors are for everyone: boys and girls alike. It’s such an important message for children to learn and it allows young people to celebrate their own identity without fear of judgment. The text itself is very simple and uses clean but impressively colorful illustrations to tell the story. 

I particularly like the dual narration in this 2021 debut, with two characters who challenge gender norms at different levels of intensity as they bond over a secret rescue dog. Daniel is a boy who feels all his emotions intensely, and who has been told over and over that he is too sensitive. Ash cycles through genders, feeling and expressing girl sometimes and boy other times. It’s so good to see a GNC character in a lead role. I also got a hoot out of the graphic elements, which are quirky and original.

This book about the ultimate rebel woman Patricia Highsmith explores in depth the many ways Highsmith rejected social expectations of her time in terms of her gender, sexuality, and writing material. The biography does not shy away from presenting Highsmith in all her glorious complexity – equal parts humorous, wry, loathsome, disturbing. This was one of the first biographies that I read where I realized the power of archives, what they can reveal, and how enlightening they can be when used so brilliantly, as Andrew Wilson does here. 

This book is a milestone in transgender literature for kids. Published in 2015, it follows a fourth-grader’s attempts to get classmates, teachers, parents, etc. to see past the surface: she’s a girl named Melissa, not a boy named George as everyone perceives. An argument often leveled against transgender kids is that they can’t know they’re transgender because they’re too young. This novel counters that by compassionately and realistically portraying a child who knows her identity from an early age, and it shows how devastating it is when the people who should love and support Melissa instead reject her assertion of her identity. It has a happy ending, but it leaves the reader thinking about how many transgender kids don’t get that—thereby inspiring advocacy.