The most recommended conflict resolution books

I read this book at a time where I was seeing how competitive environments were holding people back and constraining performance but nobody seemed to be noticing.

But Margaret Heffernan, a brilliant thought leader, had noticed it.

In this book, she uses fascinating examples across business, education, and sport to challenge conventional thinking and show that collaboration and cooperation can often be so much more effective than competition.

I was privileged to speak to her as I was writing my book and receive her warm support.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has been helping couples have happier, healthier marriages by teaching husbands how to love their wives as Ephesians 5:25 commands, and by teaching wives how to respect their husbands as Ephesians 5:33 commands.

Despite what the world says today, men and women are different and they have different, not just desires, but needs. The book also contains testimonies of transformed marriages. Husbands and wives will learn principles for talking to, thinking about, and treating each other biblically. 

If you’re a high achiever like me, you may have asked yourself several times which direction you should “climb the ladder” to achieve your version of success. Towards your career or towards your personal life?

Often, we can’t define what motivates us until we see it, and the authors’ use of theories on motivation, destination, and the journey truly illuminated my next steps to “measure” my life. Honest perspectives are provided no matter what stage you’re in.

Ultimately, this book challenges you to decide if your career or your personal life is the joy worth fighting for.  

A practical guide to understanding yourself, understanding others, and how to improve workplace relationships through better communication.

If you’ve been in the workplace for any length of time, you know that collaboration is a must for career success and that there’s usually at least one challenging person that can destroy trust and tank your productivity. In this book, you’ll learn strategies for identifying the eight types of difficult co-workers and gain insights into their motivations.

She also provides actionable advice for how to step into these difficult conversations, so you can build better relationships. 

In a world obsessed with telegraphing personal or corporate expressions of virtue, this book forces us to contemplate what constitutes moral leadership for the collective good on a world scale.

Irrespective of whether you find Kissinger’s version of the past and his role within it persuasive, the erudition and crispness of his prose and his laser focus on how we navigate this historical juncture when the world order is shifting is simply too good to miss. Kissinger forces us to engage a wider purview, one that confronts the complexity of moral decision-making and the relationship to exemplary leadership of currently unfashionable ideas of service, faith, and character.

Great leaders, he reminds us, are empowered by deep literacy and, fundamentally, by deep-seated faith in the future and in those they lead. 

This one is for parents, not kids, but I included it because what parents do (or don’t do), say (or don’t say) is such an important part of the equation when it comes to sibling rivalry. Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings teaches the basics of Emotion Coaching (introduced in Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by the same author), then walks readers through using this approach with multiple children. Grounded in brain science, pairing firm limits with genuine empathy, parents who take the time to learn/practice this way of parenting will undoubtedly see a significant reduction in sibling squabbles, and in conflict more broadly.

I liked that this book combined an exciting fictional premise (first contact with aliens) with practical tips for negotiation strategy. The author is Deepak Malhotra, a professor whose focus is on negotiation, deal-making, and conflict resolution.  

This was one of maybe two novels I read this year, as I’ve mainly been reading non-fiction related to political polarization and conflict resolution. 

In my book, one thing I wrote was that I hoped that more writers and artists would see it as valuable to create depolarization-aimed works (novels, movies, TV shows). The Peacekeeper’s Code was inspiring to me, as it reminded me that one can create compelling and entertaining storylines that contain important educational concepts.

Dr. Naumburg’s books, including this one, offer a fresh perspective on parenting.

In this book, she compels parents to practice radical self-compassion. I find her message comforting and welcome, especially in an era when parents get messages from literally everywhere about all of the things they need to do better. Ironically, our feelings of guilt and anxiety about parenting can actually get in the way of good parenting, so finding a way to tune out these voices is important.

Dr. Naumburg is here to tell parents to accept that we are human, that parenting standards are impossibly hard, and that we should be more understanding of ourselves. This just feels really good to hear, especially on the heels of the pandemic, and I think we all need this message.

This is the kind of book I frequently recommend to friends and clients. 

John Gottman is one of the pioneers of the careful empirical study of what factors lead to couple distress and divorce versus longevity and happiness; he and his wife Julie Gottman, a talented couple therapist, have written many excellent books on how to improve couple relationships based on this research. 

This new book condenses their research-based wisdom into seven brief practical chapters with titles such as “Make Contact” (meaning responding to your partner’s “bids for attention”), “Ask a Big Question” (to learn more about your partner’s passions and ways of thinking about themselves and the world), “Say Thank You” (based on the finding that couples in which partners show appreciation for another do better over time), “Give a Real Compliment” (couples in which partners regularly express fondness and admiration for their partner do better), and more. 

I love this powerful little book because it distills years of research findings into… show more.

The first thing I loved about the book was its title. I have seen first-hand how curiosity can be a powerful force in improving people’s lives and making a difference in the world. Having interviewed over 260 people who changed their careers to gain greater fulfillment and meaning in their lives, curiosity was the one common thread that guided them to take risks, walk through doubts, and make critical decisions.

I love Shigeoka’s D.I.V.E. framework: Detach–Intend–Value–Embrace. It gave me guidelines for deepening and expanding my own curiosity with prompts to spark my thinking and opportunities to question my assumptions, discover new things, and cast aside self-doubts to take action, regardless of the outcomes.