The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

As a couples therapist, I trust and rely upon this book’s essential insights about marriage that are provided by Gottman, a renowned couples researcher. Also, I find that the clear writing, which is organized into short sections, makes the material easy to read and digest. Despite having been out for decades, I keep this on my shelf as a go-to resource. 

In my practice with couples, this is my go-to recommendation for clients seeking to strengthen their relationship. In my original training as a couples counselor, I was trained with the Gottman method, and I still believe that the Gottman's insights resonate deeply with the challenges couples face, providing practical strategies rooted in empirical research.

This book isn't just theory; it's a roadmap for fostering communication and intimacy. What sets it apart is its emphasis on actionable steps that couples can take to nurture their bond.

I've witnessed firsthand the transformative impact of implementing Gottman's principles in sessions. Also, it is… show more.

I’m a big fan of almost anything John Gottman writes; however, this is my favourite. Yes, it’s targeted at couples, however I like to apply the principles to help with any type of interpersonal relationship.

This is an easy-to-follow yet scientific approach to having better connections, and I tend to recommend it to clients looking to strengthen their communication skills in the bedroom or the boardroom. It’s another book that I consistently reference, highlight, and apply sticky notes to.

While you don’t have to be married to live long, studies show that a happy romantic relationship can boost health (people in such relationships have fewer heart attacks, less diabetes, and even better teeth!). While I’m generally very satisfied with my two-decades-long marriage, there are always things that could be improved—and that’s why I reached for this book by one of the best researchers on marriage out there: John Gottman. It was not only thought-provoking but also loaded with practical tips (I swear I’ll never roll my eyes at my husband again—or at least I’ll try not to).

I am a huge fan of Gottman's work, and I would be happy to recommend any of his books. At his “love lab,” he has done a tremendous amount of rigorous scientific research over the past several decades about what makes relationships work and what makes them fail, and he has boiled all of that down into some very helpful lessons about what successful couples do and what they avoid.  There is no better place to start if you are looking to improve your relationship.

One of the best gifts you can give your children is a solid and fulfilling marriage between their parents. This is my number one recommendation for a book that is practical and helpful for couples – regardless of how long you’ve been married. The seven principles outlined in this book are what John Gottman discovered that differentiate couples who stay together and are happy with their relationships from those who wind up divorced or unhappy during his decades of empirically studying couples. Every principle in this book is specific, relevant, and applicable. I apply the lessons in this book in… show more.