The most recommended marriage books

Anna Funder’s prize-winning novels have centered on East Germany. So perhaps it’s not surprising that she has turned to the author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four.

But this marvelous biography is not about George Orwell; it’s about his wife, Eileen O’Shaughnessy -- whom Orwell largely erased from his own writing. With just a few letters by Eileen, Funder has conducted copious research, producing a brilliant book mixing fact, fiction, history, and her own daily life.

It’s at once a meditation on how women are subordinated and wives exploited and the story of a fascinating woman. We learn about O’Shaughnessy’s overlooked influence on Orwell’s work and their milieu in England and Spain.

A word of warning: you may end up not liking Orwell quite as much as you did before.

A philosopher writes about love in the most extraordinarily ordinary way. It is a story about a couple and how they fall in love and why the two of them fall in love with each other. That is fascinating in itself. Then he follows how the love between them develops—and he comments on it as they move along. It is a book that gives a deep insight into how love works when it works—and when it doesn’t. I felt much better about the mistakes I’ve made in love when I read his book. 

One of the best books on marriage we’ve ever read! Full of thought-provoking questions and practical advice, as well as hard truths straight from Scripture. Gary Thomas does an excellent job of reiterating what marriage and sex are truly about: Christ. He walks the reader through many different points and scenarios to help them see dating, marriage, and sexuality through the proper lens. We’ll never stop recommending this book; it’s just that good!

This book is described as "a deeply researched, shattering new account of Nelson Mandela's relationship with Winnie Madikizela-Mandela." That it certainly is, both deeply researched and shattering.

I found it page-turning but also deeply disturbing, recalling the Latin cautionary phrase "de mortuis nil nisi bonum." On the other hand, perhaps that injunction to express nothing but good of the dead should not apply to public figures like the Mandelas, both of them proper subjects for a responsible historian like Steinberg.

In the early 1990s, Barbara Masekela served as Nelson Mandela's Chief of Staff. This book contains revealing lengthy extracts from an interview Steinberg conducted with her in 2018, after both Mandelas had died.

The story of a flamingly narcissistic man plotting to betray his wife shouldn’t be funny at all, but Kaira Rouda definitely pulls it off with impressive skill and verve. Husband Paul is so insanely self-centered that I couldn’t stop laughing at the stream of inanities flying around in his egotistical brain as he drives his wife Mia to their lake house for what’s supposed to be the most memorable day of their lives. And is it ever, thanks to Mia’s moxie. You go, girl!

I like this book because the author shares her story of transforming a heartbreaking broken engagement into enhanced self-understanding and a happy marriage. The book is easy to read. As the title suggests, if a woman loves herself before entering a relationship, she'll choose wisely instead of marrying someone who's not right for her to prove she deserves love.

I'm impressed by the author's affirmation of serendipity, willingness to be open to the unexpected. Christine used to think her future marriage partner should have traits like her ex-fiancé had: average height, a full head of hair, and professional occupation.

Before she felt ready for another serious relationship, Christine writes that she started dating a man who was bald, very tall, and seemed to lack ambition. She found him fun, comfortable, and with excellent character traits. Christine married him.

Lisey Landon, the widow of a well-known author, struggles to know who her husband really was.

In real time, which is one of two storylines, Lisey’s sister, Amanda comes to visit and they search magazines and books to find where Lisey is written up. Amanda is troubled, becomes catatonic and Lisey has to care for her. The other storyline is about Scott Landon, his rough past and how he hovers over Lisey’s life, although he is deceased.

What is striking about this novel is the writing and Lisey’s journey. The reader is drawn in at once. When Lisey is able to enter another world called Boo’ya, as her husband did, she is able to save her sister. And by the end of the novel, Lisey herself is set free of her demons. This novel has stayed with me for years.

Wendy Plump’s VOW is the only memoir I have ever read that reveals what it is like to be the “cheating” partner (there are many books that address being cheated on). This is NOT a book touting infidelity or polyamory. It is simply an extremely honest accounting of a marriage riddled by affairs (both partners), how the author coped with the fallout, and grew into a more mature and insight-driven version of herself. This very topic activates so much judgment by so many people (just read some of the seething, scathing reviews on Amazon), but the truth is, human beings DO cheat, they DO commit infidelity, and Wendy Plump, who is a terrific, elegant writer and storyteller, has addressed this topic with great candor. It takes an extremely brave person to tell this type of story; hence, this book is brave and beautiful.

An exploration into the future consequences of China’s one-child policy, I discovered An Excess Male by accident, finding a battered second-hand copy in a local Berlin bookstore. And what a find! Maggie Shen King’s novel skillfully weaves together the narratives of its four protagonists, all of whom are part of — or about to join — a single group marriage. With this future China housing far more men than women, such marriages are increasingly common, yet the novel doesn’t limit itself, as it also explores the status of closeted gay men and people with autism. It’s a horrifyingly real and addictive story.

Helen Oyeyemi’s Mr. Fox is a complex, enthralling pastiche of a novel. Interweaving adaptations of Bluebeard, Fitcher’s Bird, Mr. Fox, and the ballad of Reynardine, Mr. Fox invites readers into a vertiginous wonderland where Oyeyemi’s adaptations interrogate the workings of gender and race, romance and desire, imperialism and geopolitics. Moving slipstream-style across the twentieth century, Mr. Fox offers a transnational circuit of stories and characters that connect gendered and raced cultural conventions with the misogyny and violence of the Bluebeard tradition, ultimately challenging readers to consider (and reconsider) European literary and artistic traditions as well as their underlying ideological structures.

This is mom culture at its best: Wolitzer traces the members of a clique who drop their kids at pre-k and enjoy over the ensuing years the gravitational pull of parenting, school volunteering, and part-time work.

She explores familiar dilemmas about aging, career versus family, and female friendship, while offering a sometimes heartbreaking, but always realistic, look at the choices moms face as they watch their kids grow.

This novel does the very scary thing of looking postpartum directly in the eye.

It follows new mom Liz Bennet along her increasingly unhinged search for clues about her husband’s suspected infidelity. Most moms (hopefully!) won’t relate to Liz’s specific situation, but Justine Sullivan paints a terrifyingly realistic portrait of the madness of those first years of new motherhood.

Hands down, this is my favorite marriage book and the one I go to again and again for insight and encouragement. I've probably read it five times! Mason's book is not a how-to, but rather a why-to. It's deep, mysterious, and challenging. Just like marriage. Mason writes for those who are on a faith journey.  

Divorce is a devastating experience, especially where ending a marriage is viewed as a separation, not only from your spouse, but from your church as well. In God, the Devil and Divorce, Linda M. Kurth shares her personal divorce journey in spite of the opposition of her community of faith to escape the pain of an abusive marriage. She emerges triumphantly as a trailblazer for Christian women enduring spousal abuse, offering hope and reassuring them that life goes on—and happily. 

This book will have you building toward a brighter future as a couple based on biblical principles. The author challenges conventional wisdom in some churches such as the belief that a man is "master" over his wife. While scripture does say, "wives, submit to your husband,” there’s much more to that idea. The verse goes on to say, "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church." This means a husband should sacrifice himself completely to his bride, putting her needs before his own, living for a higher purpose, and eventually submitting his very life to her.

Be prepared to do some self-examination. And expect honest commentary on "taboo" subjects such as sex, pornography, and gender stereotypes.

It's all about the unlikely alliance between a woman and her clone in this gripping revenge thriller.

Evelyn Caldwell learns that her husband Nathan is cheating on her when she discovers that he has stolen her cloning technology and replaced her with a more docile substitute. They work together to conceal Nathan's murder and preserve Evelyn's scientific reputation.

However, Evelyn discovers her clone standing over Nathan's body and crying, "It was self-defense." Its juicy premise raises eerie questions about love, justice, and the nature of identity.

This novel created a stir when it first came out in 2010; it seemed everyone was talking about it. After I read it, I had to agree it was worth the buzz. In 1909, Ralph Truitt, a successful businessman in rural Wisconsin, places a notice in a Chicago paper advertising for "a reliable wife." But when Catherine Land steps off the train from Chicago, she's not the "simple, honest woman" that Ralph is expecting. She is both complex and devious, haunted by a terrible past and motivated by greed. She plans to win his devotion, poison him, and leave a wealthy widow. But Truitt has his own secrets and plans, and soon they’re both in over their heads. I love novels like this that take me on an unexpected journey.

This one is totally different than the others on my list, but when I was diving into these related genres and finding myself more and more inspired by them, it was always a surprise and a treat to find a book that just completely defied all genre expectations. The book blends Sci-Fi with Fantasy, something I’ve always enjoyed if done well, and something that made me think maybe I could try my hand at this. I was never that great in science or math, even though I tried, but the idea that we could mix Sci-Fi with Fantasy, now that was intriguing. And throw in a little unexpected romance and I think you have a really well-rounded adventure. Humans are the root cause of the ending of the human race, so obviously humans have to undo what they’ve done, but your average person is just trying to survive the fallout.

I read this book many years ago as it covers the imprisonment and execution of Queen Anne Boleyn.

With its immense detail, it is one of the few books you need to read on this later period of Anne's life. Best of all, the author has reassessed the evidence and done away with romantic misconceptions. It is therefore an utterly reliable resource. The storytelling is superb, easy to read, and, again, hard to put down.

I return to it again and again for reference material but it still makes a gripping holiday read.

This book is considered by many to be ‘the bible’ for all Anne Boleyn fans and I imagine it is the number one go-to book. Covering her life from birth to death, it is so scholarly that I use it constantly as a reference book. 

What is good is that it fully exposes the circumstances that led to Anne’s death, and you can clearly see how it came about – and why the king had to get rid of her. But it is not a dry textbook. Everyone can enjoy it as it’s easy to read, hard to put down, and immaculately researched.

If you are thinking about writing about Anne Boleyn this must be your first reference book. In fact, if you buy only one book about Anne, this is it.