The most recommended books about infidelity

A terrific, candid book for both partners in a marriage rocked by an affair. They walk the reader through each phase of his infidelity and its impact on their marriage: the rationalizations, trauma, the fall-out, divorce, and eventual restoration of their marriage. Terrific insights, especially for the unfaithful. While Dr. Jay ascribes the key to their recovery as his wife’s constant love, I believe he overlooked another important factor: his wife stopping her tendency to over-accommodate, learning to set boundaries, and treating herself with more self-respect. It’s in the book but not credited as a significant factor in him wanting her again and motivating him to take a hard look at himself. Especially helpful for unfaithful men who are executives and travel a lot for work.

Secrets is filled with everything a reader could want—lies, secrets, deception, all unexpected yet enthralling, complex characters, and captivating dark, delicious romance. Sterling and Araneae are multi-faced, intriguing characters that will demand your attention within an intricate storyline. This story was fabulous! It’s captivating, suspenseful, sexy, and full of explosive chemistry.

This book was published years after mine, but I wish it had been around when I was going through my life upheaval. The author writes about relationships and has an intelligent and thoughtful take on marriage. You might not agree with her philosophy, but her book is eye-opening, will challenge your assumptions, and shares information that might help people as they rebuild their lives after widowhood, infidelity, and divorce.

I found Gary and Mona Shriver’s true story a captivating read. They share their personal journeys of weathering and surviving Gary’s extramarital affair. Couples suffering from the impact of infidelity often feel isolated and alone. It helps to read a realistic yet successful story about a marriage similarly impacted by the trauma of infidelity. They are Christians and so this book is especially helpful for believers. I often recommend this book to both partners. I have found that faithful spouses really appreciate the book and hope their partners will grow to better understand their pain as a result of reading it.

As an infidelity specialist, I had read nearly every book on the subject of recovering from affairs. Impressed with her perspective, I attended a 3-day workshop intensive with Dr. Shirley Glass. I loved her approach to helping couples in the aftermath of affairs and it influenced my clinical practice. She believes in the notion of “no secrets allowed” in order to rebuild trust. Dr. Glass debunks the rationalizations about various kinds of infidelity and includes emotional infidelity as a violation of the marital bond. In my opinion, she does the best job of anyone of reducing the shame and blame of betrayed spouses and offers practical insights to the ones who stepped out of their marriages.

Frank Pittman is a Systems-trained psychiatrist. He is very funny and down to earth. I enjoyed attending a workshop by him. This book is very pointed and challenges many of the rationalizations that unfaithful partners use to justify their affairs. One betrayer called it “the book from hell” (which was a good thing).  An entertaining read. Helps the betrayed person feel validated and provides common-sense realities to help formerly straying spouses in their journey to increased integrity in their personal lives. 

I started reading this book on the first night of a beach vacation.

By the end of the week, I devoured all five books in the series. Yep, it’s that good. The story is an intricate tale filled with elegant prose.

Thrilling, mysterious, sexy, dark, and ominous, it is not about infidelity, as the title might suggest, but rather corrupt wealth within a wealthy southern family.

Romantic suspense weaves the line between love and danger, and Romig is a master weaver.

Part coming-of-age story, part slice of adult drama and misbehavior, this book impressed itself on my memory with its deceptive sweetness and heart-wrenching likability. It touches on teenaged pregnancy while examining infidelity stemming from a faulty marriage between a likable man and a bitter woman. I loved its honest examination of problematic, complex relationships—husband to wife, and child to adult. It is beautifully drawn, complex, and definitely on my "Books I can Re-Read Endlessly” list.

I like all of Maria Savva’s books because she has great insight into how people think and why they act as they do. She creates worlds that are ‘normal’ and yet pitches her characters into unusual situations, which make the worlds strange and eerie; especially in The Spider stories.

I read this non-fiction book at the right time. 

It’s because a Baby Boomer wrote it, sharing her experience after her husband confessed to having an affair with one of her best friends. 

No, neither me nor my husband have had an affair. But I’m a Gen Xer who’s reaching a major milestone on my next birthday, and the author’s reflections on infidelity and life in general, put my own life in perspective.

On a flight home I read the words, “It is not our partner we are turning away from, but the person we have become.” I put down the book and contemplated.

I had things to let go of, and because I like who I am, it wasn’t hard.

That’s why I recommend this life-affirming read.

This is a sweet romance about a young woman who finds out minutes before her wedding that her fiancé has been unfaithful. She climbs up to the top of a billboard and refuses to come down until her sleazeball future ex-husband climbs up and apologizes. Trouble is, he doesn’t, and the task is left to the young man who lives next door to literally talk her down. This is a fun, quick-read romance that everyone should enjoy. Monica has a quick wit that I thoroughly enjoyed and a sweet biblical message about love and forgiveness. 

A first-person novel published in 1974, this wry, low-key thriller, quietly shattering, slaloms through marriage and infidelity, prosperity and poverty, motherhood and neglect. I first came across The Shadow Knows shortly after it was published, turned the pages at speed, and in my head argued furiously with the protagonist all the way through. Re-reading it forty years later, I was still aghast, and just as mesmerized. I think it’s safe to say the narrator’s response to sexual violence—like much else in this book—would be impossible to publish in the present; it is as revelatory about our moment as about the one in which it was written and set.