The best books on monogamy

2 authors have picked their favorite books about monogamy and why they recommend each book.

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Book cover of Monogamy


By Sue Miller,

Why this book?

This book is a page-turner. Annie, the main character in this novel has just found out her husband has been having an affair. The book circles back to their marriage and how completely different they are. 

Somehow the relationship works as they totally balanced each other. I love how Sue Miller creates pictures of characters so we get to know them at a granular level. I ended up loving all of them despite their imperfections. Annie makes a life for herself as a widow having been transformed by the man she loved. Opposite personalities can enrich each other as…

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Book cover of Polygamy: An Early American History

Polygamy: An Early American History

By Sarah M. S. Pearsall,

Why this book?

Pearsall’s book is the sort that leaves a reader entertained, deeply informed, and unable to see the past the same way again. Polygamy, she shows, was at the center of the social and political systems of many Indigenous nations. As European soldiers and settlers attempted to trade with—or dominate—the people of these nations, they provoked violent reprisals. Opposition to monogamy drove Indigenous resistance movements. Europeans increasingly argued that their monogamous practices made them racially and religiously superior to the people they subordinated. The centrality of metaphors about monogamy and polygamy to American revolutionary political ideas is one of the book’s…

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Book cover of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

By Jessica Fern,

Why this book?

As someone with Complex PTSD and a boatload of attachment wounds, practicing ethical non-monogamy has brought up a lot for me over the years. I always found that most available resources skipped right over how someone with a history (and nervous system) like mine might best succeed in ENM. Polysecure has filled that big gap for me and many others. 

Yes, this is a book about ethical non-monogamy, but you don’t have to practice ENM to get a lot out of it. First off Fern does an excellent job of breaking down attachment theory and the effects of trauma in…

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