It’s because a Baby Boomer wrote it, sharing her experience after her husband confessed to having an affair with one of her best friends.
No, neither me nor my husband have had an affair. But I’m a Gen Xer who’s reaching a major milestone on my next birthday, and the author’s reflections on infidelity and life in general, put my own life in perspective.
On a flight home I read the words, “It is not our partner we are turning away from, but the person we have become.” I put down the book and contemplated.
I had things to let go of, and because I like who I am, it wasn’t hard.
What do you do when your partner's infidelity upends your life? When you confront living on your own? In amongst parents dying, careers ending and becoming a grandparent?
As a journalist, Kate Legge often seeks answers to how people reckon with bad luck or bad decisions. When faced with her husband's affair, she discovered a fault line of betrayal running through four generations of his family, which began a search for answers both close to home and more universaly.
Infidelity and Other Affairs begins with this puzzle: is unfaithfulness a predisposition or a learned behavior? From there, Legge contemplates a…
I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.
Part manifesto, part archive of a fascinating and alluring sub-culture, Geoff Mains's book explores the possibilities of extreme encounters through pain/pleasure, BDSM, and role play in the leather community.
It’s not sensationalist although it examines ideas around sensation. It celebrates performance whilst honoring intimacy. It’s a book that would offer a reader of every sexuality an insight into some of their own fantasies and how to access them safely, and meaningfully.
I read it like I would read an exhaustive and tempting menu – picking out items I might like to taste myself and learning a great deal in the process.
A subculture of gay men participate in a radical form of sexuality and community known as leather. Through intimate forms of encounter, using such tools as pain-pleasure, bondage, and role-play, leather can bring a shift of conciousness and a new vision of the self. This innovative book pioneered in sensitively exploring and celebrating leathersexuality. As relevant today as when it was written 20 years ago, Urban Aboriginals is an intimate view of the gay male leather community. Within its pages, author Geoff Mains explores the spritual, sexual, emotional, cultural and physiological aspects that make this "scene" one of the most…
I write what I know. My life has given me so much to write about that people seem to connect with. I started this journey as a writer to share my personal story but instead, what I authored was a novel about my life, but as a fictional story. A lot of situations that my characters find themselves in are things that I have endured or seen personally in my life and in my travels. My passion is broken people I guess, because I have been surrounded by so many of them, in my life.
I absolutely love this book. The message within about finding yourself, despite all that is going on around you, or your current circumstances really resonates with me. Where you start doesn’t have to be where you finish. It’s a book that I could read repeatedly.
This novel is like my novel in the fact that her characters also overcome many obstacles to find their way in life. They had to learn to be strong in the face of adversity. If you are someone who likes a book that shows you women finding their way amid chaos it’s a must read.
Chante Chambers is a self-proclaimed princess. She has it all: looks, a body women would pay for, a great career, all the material items a girl could want plus some…all of this maintained by her ex, Jason. Whatever mama wants, Jason makes sure mama gets. The one task he failed at was being faithful. With a toss of a Gucci pump Jason was history. Or so she thought.
In a pursuit for love, happiness, and monogamy sometimes mistaken for sex, Chante encounters an array of men, whom if you took the best traits from them all and combined them, it…
I am a biologist specialized in animal behavior and evolution. I write science nonfictions about behavior, evolution, and human nature for the general, intelligent audience. An avid reader myself, I “consume” at least a hundred books a year (mostly nonfictions but occasionally fictions when I have some leisure time) with a wide range of topics including science, nature, technology, psychology, economics, social justice, philosophy, and history. My favorite science books are those with new ideas and insights, an impeccable scientific rigor, and a strong, accessible, and concise writing style.
This book offers a thorough analysis of monogamy in a variety of animals, including people.
It demonstrates biological justifications for why monogamy is a dynamic balance brought about by the conflict of interests between males and females with wry humor and excellent prose. This book is a must-read for everyone interested in the behavior and evolution of the mating system.
In "The Myth of Monogamy", David Barash describes how new research investigating sex in the animal world concludes there is simply no question whether sexual desire for multiple partners is natural. It is. Similarly, there is no question of monogamy being natural. It isn't. Using DNA fingerprinting technology biologists have been able to trace the parenthood of animals and have found that even among those species previously thought to be monogamous, cheating on your mate is the rule for both sexes. The book explores why animals cheat, some prostitute themselves for food or protection, while others strive for genetically superior…
I am fascinated with romantic relationships and the way they work. I was in high school when I stumbled upon the romance novel Addicted by Zane. I remember reading about couples in her novels and being intrigued by the intimacy and sensuality between them. I loved reading about the ins and outs of the relationships between these characters. They helped me to gain some perspective about romantic relationships early on. I learned a lot through these characters, and I was able to use their experiences as a guide for myself. I began writing my own romance stories to explore relationships my way, and I fell in love with it.
Two Monogamous is the introduction to my first romantic suspense series the (Two Monogamous series).
It questions monogamy when Jarrah unknowingly falls in love with twin brothers, Dario and Dustin. One of the twins offers her romance, mental stimulation, and security, while the other offers her sensuality, adventure, and spontaneity. The two of them work together to be the perfect man for her.
This novel opened my mind to polyamory and made me question whether twins could share each other’s emotions, thus falling in love with the same person. I wrote this series to tackle issues that make relationships difficult. However, I demonstrate how creating a community can make relationships easier.
Check out the Two Monogamous series to explore poly relationships through a group of relatable characters.
Jarrah Harper, a newly divorced young woman, embarks on a journey to escape the pain from losing her ex-husband Quincy. She moves from the countryside of Atlanta to the big city of Chicago to work for her college friend Theresa Martine as editor in chief of Theresa's magazine, Her World Magazine. Along the way, she meets a handsome, charming, almost too good to be true man named Dustin, who opens her up to new, bold, and steamy adventures that makes her question the woman she is becoming. Dustin gives Jarrah a double dose of a perfect man and turns her…
As a social entrepreneur, I'm passionate about gender equality and always challenging myself and my perspectives. From exploring feminine power in The Red Tent to understanding complex societal structures in 100 Years of Solitude to appreciating the blend of science and womanhood in Lessons in Chemistry, to promoting sexual freedom in Ethical Slut, and finally, recognizing intersectional struggles in Hood Feminism, each book deepens my understanding and fuels my passion for change.
I deeply appreciate Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's book for its courage in challenging societal norms around relationships.
The book's exploration of ethical non-monogamy pushes me to examine my personal boundaries and expectations. I value its discussion not just on sexuality but on all relationship dynamics.
The book resonates with me intensely, serving as a catalyst for self-discovery and understanding, which is why I hold it in such high regard.
The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.
“One of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.”—Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex
For 20 years The Ethical Slut—widely known as the “Poly Bible”—has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle…
Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.
The Ethical Slutis an evocatively titled primer on polyamory as a relationship model.
It is intentionally written as an introductory resource that is very enthusiastic about the possibilities it presents, which is useful in a space that often feels it must make constant apologies for existing or is full of higher-level works about niche sub-topics.
It addresses key topics such as consent, communication, concerns about raising a family, and more. Older editions suffer from ill-considered language around transgender people that feels dated at best, but more recent editions have been updated to reflect changing demographics and be more considerate to this and other minorities.
At last a comprehensive, no-holds-barred guide for anyone who dreams of having all the sex and love and friendship they want. Here are the skills you need for successful - and ethical - sluthood, from scheduling dates to handling jealousy, finding partners to resolving conflict, raising children to caring for your health. If you've ever envisioned a universe beyond traditional lifetime monogamy, this is the book for you.
This is quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read, and I recommend it for that reason. It will have you laughing out loud.
Brooks gives Chaucer’s larger-than-life, serial monogamist an opportunity to tell her side of the story. And fair enough.
Created by Geoffrey Chaucer for The Canterbury Tales in 1392, the Wife of Bath is literature’s first feminist hero. The outspoken and exuberant Alyson (the wife’s real name) suffers immeasurably – physically, emotionally, and financially - at the hands of the men she chooses to marry. Yet, she never loses her self-respect and humor. Likewise, she is never broken despite her husband’s best efforts to tame her.
A provocative, immersive medieval novel starring one of literature's most unforgettable characters in her own words-Chaucer's bold and libidinous Wife of Bath.
"So damned readable and fun...This is the story of a woman fighting for her rights; it breaches the walls of history."--The Australian
In the middle ages, a famous poet told a story that mocked a strong woman. It became a literary classic. But what if the woman in question had a chance to tell her own version?
England, 1364: When married off at aged twelve to an elderly farmer, brazen redheaded Eleanor quickly realizes it won't matter what…
I have long been drawn to how people of the past think about their sexual identities, attractions, and behaviors. I conducted my PhD research at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, where I spent many happy hours reading letters and books voicing people’s unfiltered desires for sexual arousal, connection, and expression. I found the punched-card machines that Alfred Kinsey used to organize data from his personal interviews oddly compelling, and that interest developed into a long-term engagement with the intersection of gender and sexuality with science and technology. I share my fascination with readers through my books on Kinsey, machines used in sex research, contraception, and fertility technology.
Mitra’s book centers on the colonial period in India, when European scholars, British officials, and Indian intellectuals, focused on sexuality, specifically the figure of the prostitute, in order to study and to understand the place of women in modern Indian society.
The specter of deviant female sexuality structured fiction and intellectual thought on topics ranging from caste domination to trafficking, to widowhood and inheritance, to abortion and infanticide.
Indian Sex Life compellingly illustrates the importance of female deviance in the imagination of scholars and writers, and how they used their ideas about women’s sexuality to solidify rigid gender ideals—and to blame women for the failures of modern society. Mitra’s accounting of this history is richly drawn and hard to put down.
How British authorities and Indian intellectuals developed ideas about deviant female sexuality to control and organize modern society in India
During the colonial period in India, European scholars, British officials, and elite Indian intellectuals-philologists, administrators, doctors, ethnologists, sociologists, and social critics-deployed ideas about sexuality to understand modern Indian society. In Indian Sex Life, Durba Mitra shows how deviant female sexuality, particularly the concept of the prostitute, became foundational to this knowledge project and became the primary way to think and write about Indian society.
Bringing together vast archival materials from diverse disciplines, Mitra reveals that deviant female sexuality was critical…
I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.
When I first came out – at 45! – this book became the whisper on every new gay friend’s lips – you must read this. You may not agree with it all, but please read.
Alan Downs explores the impact of growing up and surviving as a gay man in a society – he examines why we are both massive over-achievers in career and status, whilst simultaneously massively indulging in a hedonistic lifestyle that can be destructive. He’s particularly good at skewering issues around shame and anger, and the importance of primary relationships, for example with our Fathers.
I believe this book – a quick, vital read – can inform so much debate about self-acceptance and be genuinely empowering.
This groundbreaking and empowering book examines the impact of growing up and surviving as a gay man in a society still learning to accept all identities.
In The Velvet Rage, psychologist Alan Downs draws on his own struggle with shame and anger, contemporary research, and stories from his patients to passionately describe the stages of a gay man's journey out of shame and offers practical and inspired strategies to stop the cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior. The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that has already changed the public discourse on gay culture and helped shape the identity of…
