The best books on monogamy

Who picked these books? Meet our 17 experts.

17 authors created a book list connected to monogamy, and here are their favorite monogamy books.
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The Ethical Slut

By Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Easton,

Book cover of The Ethical Slut

Nicholas McInerny Author Of How to Have a Perfect Marriage: A BBC Radio 4 Comedy Drama

From the list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous.

Who am I?

I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.

Nicholas' book list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous

Discover why each book is one of Nicholas' favorite books.

Why did Nicholas love this book?

When I first went to Burning Man in 2004 I met some wonderful friends committed to Polyamory.

As I was in the middle of my own sexual journey I found their lives a real challenge to old ideas around monogamy. They recommended The Ethical Slut and I read it avidly – it seemed to open up a whole new way of loving, of living, and of self-acceptance. It’s now widely considered a classic, and this 20th Anniversary edition updates with particular emphasis on issues around consent.

If you are curious, dive in!

By Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Easton,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Ethical Slut as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships. 

“One of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.”—Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex 

For 20 years The Ethical Slut—widely known as the “Poly Bible”—has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle…


The Velvet Rage

By Alan Downs,

Book cover of The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

Nicholas McInerny Author Of How to Have a Perfect Marriage: A BBC Radio 4 Comedy Drama

From the list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous.

Who am I?

I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.

Nicholas' book list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous

Discover why each book is one of Nicholas' favorite books.

Why did Nicholas love this book?

When I first came out – at 45! – this book became the whisper on every new gay friend’s lips – you must read this. You may not agree with it all, but please read.

Alan Downs explores the impact of growing up and surviving as a gay man in a society – he examines why we are both massive over-achievers in career and status, whilst simultaneously massively indulging in a hedonistic lifestyle that can be destructive. He’s particularly good at skewering issues around shame and anger, and the importance of primary relationships, for example with our Fathers.

I believe this book – a quick, vital read – can inform so much debate about self-acceptance and be genuinely empowering.

By Alan Downs,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Velvet Rage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This groundbreaking and empowering book examines the impact of growing up and surviving as a gay man in a society still learning to accept all identities.

In The Velvet Rage, psychologist Alan Downs draws on his own struggle with shame and anger, contemporary research, and stories from his patients to passionately describe the stages of a gay man's journey out of shame and offers practical and inspired strategies to stop the cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior. The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that has already changed the public discourse on gay culture and helped shape the identity of…


Polysecure

By Jessica Fern,

Book cover of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Dedeker Winston Author Of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love

From the list on to figure out if polyamory is right for you.

Who am I?

I have been practicing some flavor of non-monogamy for over a decade now—and how much has changed in the past few years! In my coaching practice, I’ve seen an increase in clients who are trying to evaluate what kind of relationship is best for them. Many people know that the traditional dating game and lifelong monogamy are not for them, but they also feel concerned, intimidated, or confused by exploring non-monogamy. These books have helped many of my clients get perspective on how non-monogamous relationships work in real life. 

Dedeker's book list on to figure out if polyamory is right for you

Discover why each book is one of Dedeker's favorite books.

Why did Dedeker love this book?

This one should be required reading for anyone with even a passing interest in non-traditional relationships. Therapist Jessica Fern clearly and thoroughly explains attachment theory—the idea that the way in which we form attachments to our parents in early life fundamentally influences our adult relationships. Whatever your relationship practice, even this part of the book alone can help clarify so much about what makes you feel secure or insecure in your romantic relationships. Fern goes on to explain how these foundation principles of attachment intersect with non-monogamy, jealousy, and trauma, as well as offering her unique HEARTS model for building secure attachment. I absolutely loved the practical and actionable HEARTS model—it’s worth the price of the book alone! 

By Jessica Fern,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Polysecure as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A practical guide to nurturing healthy, loving non-monogamous relationships using attachment theory.

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?

Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual non-monogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple…


The Myth of Monogamy

By David P. Barash, Judith Eve Lipton,

Book cover of The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People

Lixing Sun Author Of The Liars of Nature and the Nature of Liars: Cheating and Deception in the Living World

From the list on science in behavior and evolution.

Who am I?

I am a biologist specialized in animal behavior and evolution. I write science nonfictions about behavior, evolution, and human nature for the general, intelligent audience. An avid reader myself, I “consume” at least a hundred books a year (mostly nonfictions but occasionally fictions when I have some leisure time) with a wide range of topics including science, nature, technology, psychology, economics, social justice, philosophy, and history. My favorite science books are those with new ideas and insights, an impeccable scientific rigor, and a strong, accessible, and concise writing style

Lixing's book list on science in behavior and evolution

Discover why each book is one of Lixing's favorite books.

Why did Lixing love this book?

This book offers a thorough analysis of monogamy in a variety of animals, including people.

It demonstrates biological justifications for why monogamy is a dynamic balance brought about by the conflict of interests between males and females with wry humor and excellent prose. This book is a must-read for everyone interested in the behavior and evolution of the mating system.

By David P. Barash, Judith Eve Lipton,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Myth of Monogamy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In "The Myth of Monogamy", David Barash describes how new research investigating sex in the animal world concludes there is simply no question whether sexual desire for multiple partners is natural. It is. Similarly, there is no question of monogamy being natural. It isn't. Using DNA fingerprinting technology biologists have been able to trace the parenthood of animals and have found that even among those species previously thought to be monogamous, cheating on your mate is the rule for both sexes. The book explores why animals cheat, some prostitute themselves for food or protection, while others strive for genetically superior…


Sex at Dawn

By Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha,

Book cover of Sex at Dawn: the Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

Alyssa Gonzalez Author Of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

From the list on neurodiversity and relationships.

Who am I?

Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.

Alyssa's book list on neurodiversity and relationships

Discover why each book is one of Alyssa's favorite books.

Why did Alyssa love this book?

It is important for books that challenge established ideas in the popular science space to be fun, and Sex at Dawn has that nailed.

A fascinating tour through anthropological research, sociological conspiracy, and biological reality leads to the inescapable yet intuitive conclusion that monogamy, as a social institution, is at odds with basic facts about human behavior, and the effort that legal, religious, and other systems put into enforcing it is precisely because it is not something most humans can easily do on their own.

Sex at Dawn’s scientific rigor is questionable, but its conclusions hold and its style is unbeatable.

By Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sex at Dawn as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this controversial, thought-provoking, and brilliant book, renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha debunk almost everything we know about sex, weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality to show how far from human nature monogamy really is. In "Sex at Dawn", the authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.


Mating in Captivity

By Esther Perel,

Book cover of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Nicholas McInerny Author Of How to Have a Perfect Marriage: A BBC Radio 4 Comedy Drama

From the list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous.

Who am I?

I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.

Nicholas' book list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous

Discover why each book is one of Nicholas' favorite books.

Why did Nicholas love this book?

Because modern romance promises it all – togetherness, intimacy, and erotic desire for life, it makes it hard to want what apparently you already have. Security and adventure are incompatible, aren’t they?

Reading this book you can discover ways to reconcile the erotic and domestic. Esther Perel challenges our old habits and invites us to reinvent ourselves as mysterious, distant, maybe even uncertain. And that’s how to keep the candle of lust alive. 

Full of brilliant insights and perhaps a counterargument to The Ethical Slut.

By Esther Perel,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Mating in Captivity as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful,…


The Ethical Slut

By Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt,

Book cover of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

Alyssa Gonzalez Author Of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

From the list on neurodiversity and relationships.

Who am I?

Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.

Alyssa's book list on neurodiversity and relationships

Discover why each book is one of Alyssa's favorite books.

Why did Alyssa love this book?

The Ethical Slut is an evocatively titled primer on polyamory as a relationship model.

It is intentionally written as an introductory resource that is very enthusiastic about the possibilities it presents, which is useful in a space that often feels it must make constant apologies for existing or is full of higher-level works about niche sub-topics.

It addresses key topics such as consent, communication, concerns about raising a family, and more. Older editions suffer from ill-considered language around transgender people that feels dated at best, but more recent editions have been updated to reflect changing demographics and be more considerate to this and other minorities. 

By Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Ethical Slut as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

At last a comprehensive, no-holds-barred guide for anyone who dreams of having all the sex and love and friendship they want. Here are the skills you need for successful - and ethical - sluthood, from scheduling dates to handling jealousy, finding partners to resolving conflict, raising children to caring for your health. If you've ever envisioned a universe beyond traditional lifetime monogamy, this is the book for you.


Polygamy

By Sarah M. S. Pearsall,

Book cover of Polygamy: An Early American History

Rebecca L. Davis Author Of Public Confessions: The Religious Conversions That Changed American Politics

From the list on why sex matters to US history.

Who am I?

I never set out to be a historian of sexuality, but the more I read, the more convinced I became of the centrality of sex to politics, culture, religion, and social change. I am fascinated by histories of sexuality in the making and shaping of individual identities and behaviors, and I’m also drawn to histories of other topics—politics, religion, enslavement, leisure—that also teach us something about the history of sex and sexuality. These interests drew me to the podcast Sexing History, where I edit the stories and help produce the episodes. I love to read widely to find histories of sex in unexpected places.

Rebecca's book list on why sex matters to US history

Discover why each book is one of Rebecca's favorite books.

Why did Rebecca love this book?

Pearsall’s book is the sort that leaves a reader entertained, deeply informed, and unable to see the past the same way again. Polygamy, she shows, was at the center of the social and political systems of many Indigenous nations. As European soldiers and settlers attempted to trade with—or dominate—the people of these nations, they provoked violent reprisals. Opposition to monogamy drove Indigenous resistance movements. Europeans increasingly argued that their monogamous practices made them racially and religiously superior to the people they subordinated. The centrality of metaphors about monogamy and polygamy to American revolutionary political ideas is one of the book’s most enlightening—and entertaining—contributions in a book rich with surprises.

By Sarah M. S. Pearsall,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Polygamy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A groundbreaking examination of polygamy showing that monogamy was not the only form marriage took in early America

"A richly sourced, elegantly written, and strikingly original interdisciplinary study of the diverse practices of polygamy in American from ca.1500 to 1900."-John Witte Jr., Journal of Law and Religion

Today we tend to think of polygamy as an unnatural marital arrangement characteristic of fringe sects or uncivilized peoples. Historian Sarah Pearsall shows us that polygamy's surprising history encompasses numerous colonies, indigenous communities, and segments of the American nation. Polygamy-as well as the fight against it-illuminates many touchstones of American history: the Pueblo…


Fifty Years of Polyamory in America

By Glen W. Olson, Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers,

Book cover of Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement

Kathy Labriola Author Of Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships

From the list on polyamory and open relationships.

Who am I?

I am a nurse, counselor, and hypnotherapist in Berkeley, California, providing affordable mental health services to alternative communities for the past 30 years. I have been a card-carrying bisexual and polyamorist for fifty years. Because there were so few books for people in polyamorous relationships, I was frustrated by the lack of resources both for myself and my clients. This inspired me to write four books on this subject: Love in Abundance and The Jealousy Workbook, both published by Greenery Press, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival, and Prevention, published by Thorntree Press, and Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships published by Rowman and Littlefield.  

Kathy's book list on polyamory and open relationships

Discover why each book is one of Kathy's favorite books.

Why did Kathy love this book?

This is a brand-new Rowman and Littlefield book by Glen Olson and Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers, fresh off the presses in December 2022: Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement. Both Olson and Brussel-Rogers have been involved in the polyamory movement for nearly half a century, and have been founding members of some of the pivotal polyamory organizations throughout the decades. They know this history both personally and politically, and know most of the key players and have interviewed them extensively for the book. 

Even though I have been involved in the polyamory community and movement for decades, I learned so much from this book! This is not a dry history book; it’s a very fascinating and lively read! The book chronicles the evolution of polyamorous philosophy and ideas, as well as the organizational development involved in taking this lifestyle from a very discreet experience…

By Glen W. Olson, Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Fifty Years of Polyamory in America as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A tour of polyamory in America over the last 50 years.

Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour to a Growing Movement is unique among the many books about polyamory because the scope of this book is the entire history of the polyamory movement. Instead of concentrating on the experiences of a few people exploring alternate lifestyles, it is an exploration of two generations of Americans, the people and the organizations they founded, what they have chosen to do, and how it has changed their lives and affected the culture as a whole.

Written in an entertaining and…


Indian Sex Life

By Durba Mitra,

Book cover of Indian Sex Life: Sexuality and the Colonial Origins of Modern Social Thought

Donna J. Drucker Author Of Fertility Technology

From the list on the history of sexuality in modernity.

Who am I?

I have long been drawn to how people of the past think about their sexual identities, attractions, and behaviors. I conducted my PhD research at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, where I spent many happy hours reading letters and books voicing people’s unfiltered desires for sexual arousal, connection, and expression. I found the punched-card machines that Alfred Kinsey used to organize data from his personal interviews oddly compelling, and that interest developed into a long-term engagement with the intersection of gender and sexuality with science and technology. I share my fascination with readers through my books on Kinsey, machines used in sex research, contraception, and fertility technology.

Donna's book list on the history of sexuality in modernity

Discover why each book is one of Donna's favorite books.

Why did Donna love this book?

Mitra’s book centers on the colonial period in India, when European scholars, British officials, and Indian intellectuals, focused on sexuality, specifically the figure of the prostitute, in order to study and to understand the place of women in modern Indian society.

The specter of deviant female sexuality structured fiction and intellectual thought on topics ranging from caste domination to trafficking, to widowhood and inheritance, to abortion and infanticide.

Indian Sex Life compellingly illustrates the importance of female deviance in the imagination of scholars and writers, and how they used their ideas about women’s sexuality to solidify rigid gender ideals—and to blame women for the failures of modern society. Mitra’s accounting of this history is richly drawn and hard to put down.

By Durba Mitra,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Indian Sex Life as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

How British authorities and Indian intellectuals developed ideas about deviant female sexuality to control and organize modern society in India

During the colonial period in India, European scholars, British officials, and elite Indian intellectuals-philologists, administrators, doctors, ethnologists, sociologists, and social critics-deployed ideas about sexuality to understand modern Indian society. In Indian Sex Life, Durba Mitra shows how deviant female sexuality, particularly the concept of the prostitute, became foundational to this knowledge project and became the primary way to think and write about Indian society.

Bringing together vast archival materials from diverse disciplines, Mitra reveals that deviant female sexuality was critical…


Monogamy

By Sue Miller,

Book cover of Monogamy

Armin Shimerman Author Of Imbalance of Power

From the list on Shakespeare and the Elizabethan period.

Who am I?

I'm a classically trained Shakespearian actor who has spent a lifetime researching Tudor and Stuart times, imbibing their language, customs, and idiosyncrasies. As an actor, I'm trained to get inside my characters' heads and dedicate myself to their intentions. Also, as an actor, I've come to relish language and recognize what makes a good phrase, paragraph, and/or book. I not only perform the Bard, but I've also taught his rhetorical stylings to countless people. I love language and admire writers who use it elegantly. They say, "Write what you know." I know Shakespeare and the Elizabethan era inside and out. One's life can be changed by a book; the ones I've recommended have changed mine.

Armin's book list on Shakespeare and the Elizabethan period

Discover why each book is one of Armin's favorite books.

Why did Armin love this book?

I loved this book for its humanity and the language she used to pithily emphasize characters and situations. There was not an excess word employed. She compassionately realized every character and gave them wisdom, angst, and a tragic sense of loss. I found it utterly absorbing and have reread it several times.

By Sue Miller,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Monogamy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A New York Times Book of the Year
DAILY MAIL 'BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR TO GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS'
SUNDAY EXPRESS' S MAGAZINE 'WINTER WARMERS'
GOOD HOUSEKEEPING 'BEST BOOKS OF 2020' ONLINE

'One of the most emotionally truthful novels I have ever read' DAISY BUCHANAN
'Almost every line glows with even-handed wisdom - a superb novel, beautifully put together' DAILY MAIL
'An invaluably moving book' JULIET NICOLSON
'One to read first for the story and then to re-read at leisure and marvel at how real these people feel' ERIN KELLY
'Penetrating, intelligent, humane, funny too ... Smart and powerfully alive'…


The Good Wife of Bath

By Karen Brooks,

Book cover of The Good Wife of Bath

Jenny Bond Author Of The Hummingbird and the Sea

From the list on historical fiction with feisty and fearless females.

Who am I?

My passion is for writing stories about strong women. Most of my favourite characters in literature are strong women—Jo March, Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Eyre. It's their intelligence, and spirit that hooks me. Even when they're misguided or confronting overwhelming odds, they pull themselves back from the brink to begin on a slightly altered path to achieve their purpose. It's the heroine’s journey that draws me into a novel, and it's her journey I wish to describe in my own books. Unfortunately, studying history has shown me there's still a long way women need to travel in the journey towards gender equity. Let’s hope these characters can teach us all something.

Jenny's book list on historical fiction with feisty and fearless females

Discover why each book is one of Jenny's favorite books.

Why did Jenny love this book?

This is quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read. I recommend it for that reason. It will have you laughing out loud. Brooks gives Chaucer’s larger-than-life, serial monogamist an opportunity to tell her side of the story. And fair enough! Created by Geoffrey Chaucer for The Canterbury Tales in 1392, the Wife of Bath is literature’s first feminist hero. The outspoken and exuberant Alyson (the wife’s real name) suffers immeasurably—physically, emotionally, and financially—at the hands of the men she chooses to marry, yet she never loses her self-respect and humour. Likewise, she is never broken, despite her husbands' best efforts to tame her.

By Karen Brooks,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Good Wife of Bath as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A provocative, immersive medieval novel starring one of literature's most unforgettable characters in her own words-Chaucer's bold and libidinous Wife of Bath.

"So damned readable and fun...This is the story of a woman fighting for her rights; it breaches the walls of history."--The Australian

In the middle ages, a famous poet told a story that mocked a strong woman. It became a literary classic. But what if the woman in question had a chance to tell her own version?

England, 1364: When married off at aged twelve to an elderly farmer, brazen redheaded Eleanor quickly realizes it won't matter what…


Two Monogamous

By S R Graham,

Book cover of Two Monogamous

S.R. Graham Author Of Pretty Privilege

From the list on learning how to be a better romantic partner.

Who am I?

I am fascinated with romantic relationships and the way they work. I was in high school when I stumbled upon the romance novel Addicted by Zane. I remember reading about couples in her novels and being intrigued by the intimacy and sensuality between them. I loved reading about the ins and outs of the relationships between these characters. They helped me to gain some perspective about romantic relationships early on. I learned a lot through these characters, and I was able to use their experiences as a guide for myself. I began writing my own romance stories to explore relationships my way, and I fell in love with it. 

S.R.'s book list on learning how to be a better romantic partner

Discover why each book is one of S.R.'s favorite books.

Why did S.R. love this book?

Two Monogamous is the introduction to my first romantic suspense series the (Two Monogamous series).

It questions monogamy when Jarrah unknowingly falls in love with twin brothers, Dario and Dustin. One of the twins offers her romance, mental stimulation, and security, while the other offers her sensuality, adventure, and spontaneity. The two of them work together to be the perfect man for her.

This novel opened my mind to polyamory and made me question whether twins could share each other’s emotions, thus falling in love with the same person. I wrote this series to tackle issues that make relationships difficult. However, I demonstrate how creating a community can make relationships easier.

Check out the Two Monogamous series to explore poly relationships through a group of relatable characters.

By S R Graham,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Two Monogamous as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Jarrah Harper, a newly divorced young woman, embarks on a journey to escape the pain from losing her ex-husband Quincy. She moves from the countryside of Atlanta to the big city of Chicago to work for her college friend Theresa Martine as editor in chief of Theresa's magazine, Her World Magazine. Along the way, she meets a handsome, charming, almost too good to be true man named Dustin, who opens her up to new, bold, and steamy adventures that makes her question the woman she is becoming. Dustin gives Jarrah a double dose of a perfect man and turns her…


Urban Aboriginals

By Geoff Mains,

Book cover of Urban Aboriginals: A Celebration of Leathersexuality

Nicholas McInerny Author Of How to Have a Perfect Marriage: A BBC Radio 4 Comedy Drama

From the list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous.

Who am I?

I am someone who has lived a number of different lives. Although I loved being a father and husband I knew I wasn’t being authentic. At 45 that all changed utterly when I finally came out as gay – and accepted myself for perhaps the very first time in my life. However, even before coming out I was a professional writer – it was my only way to make sense of the world. But I also knew that although a successful writer I wasn’t a truthful one – and the most beautiful thing in life is discovering your own truth, isn’t it? Join me here in a safe space to experience yours.

Nicholas' book list on being emotionally monogamous and sexually promiscuous

Discover why each book is one of Nicholas' favorite books.

Why did Nicholas love this book?

Part manifesto, part archive of a fascinating and alluring sub-culture, Geoff Mains's book explores the possibilities of extreme encounters through pain/pleasure, BDSM, and role play in the leather community.

It’s not sensationalist although it examines ideas around sensation. It celebrates performance whilst honoring intimacy. It’s a book that would offer a reader of every sexuality an insight into some of their own fantasies and how to access them safely, and meaningfully.

I read it like I would read an exhaustive and tempting menu – picking out items I might like to taste myself and learning a great deal in the process. 

By Geoff Mains,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Urban Aboriginals as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A subculture of gay men participate in a radical form of sexuality and community known as leather. Through intimate forms of encounter, using such tools as pain-pleasure, bondage, and role-play, leather can bring a shift of conciousness and a new vision of the self. This innovative book pioneered in sensitively exploring and celebrating leathersexuality. As relevant today as when it was written 20 years ago, Urban Aboriginals is an intimate view of the gay male leather community. Within its pages, author Geoff Mains explores the spritual, sexual, emotional, cultural and physiological aspects that make this "scene" one of the most…


Chante's Song

By Donneil D. Jackson,

Book cover of Chante's Song

Kiexiza Rodriquez Author Of Beautiful

From the list on drama surrounding friendships and finding yourself.

Who am I?

I write what I know. My life has given me so much to write about that people seem to connect with. I started this journey as a writer to share my personal story but instead, what I authored was a novel about my life, but as a fictional story. A lot of situations that my characters find themselves in are things that I have endured or seen personally in my life and in my travels. My passion is broken people I guess, because I have been surrounded by so many of them, in my life.

Kiexiza's book list on drama surrounding friendships and finding yourself

Discover why each book is one of Kiexiza's favorite books.

Why did Kiexiza love this book?

I absolutely love this book. The message within about finding yourself, despite all that is going on around you, or your current circumstances really resonates with me. Where you start doesn’t have to be where you finish. It’s a book that I could read repeatedly.

This novel is like my novel in the fact that her characters also overcome many obstacles to find their way in life. They had to learn to be strong in the face of adversity. If you are someone who likes a book that shows you women finding their way amid chaos it’s a must read.

By Donneil D. Jackson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Chante's Song as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Chante Chambers is a self-proclaimed princess. She has it all: looks, a body women would pay for, a great career, all the material items a girl could want plus some…all of this maintained by her ex, Jason. Whatever mama wants, Jason makes sure mama gets. The one task he failed at was being faithful. With a toss of a Gucci pump Jason was history. Or so she thought.

In a pursuit for love, happiness, and monogamy sometimes mistaken for sex, Chante encounters an array of men, whom if you took the best traits from them all and combined them, it…


The Truth

By Neil Strauss,

Book cover of The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

Jiveny Blair-West Author Of How to Make the Biggest Decision of Your Life

From the list on learning about relationships.

Who am I?

Growing up with two parents who specialised in relationship therapy gave me a unique insight into the importance of relationships from an early age. My father's words ‘Jiveny there is nothing to life but relationships’ instilled in me a natural curiosity to understand how to make the most of them. Later in life, my own experiences of heartbreak motivated me to get even more serious about learning how to build better relationships. Now, as a dating and attraction coach, I have used my experience and expertise, as well as feedback from my clients, to compile my top 5 books for understanding relationships.

Jiveny's book list on learning about relationships

Discover why each book is one of Jiveny's favorite books.

Why did Jiveny love this book?

Neil Strauss is a master storyteller and his book, The Truth, is a captivating follow-up to his controversial best-seller, The Game. In this candid memoir, Strauss takes readers on an emotional journey as he attempts to answer the question of whether monogamy is really for him.

The book begins with Strauss in rehab for sex addiction, a result of the success of his previous book and the world it threw him into. From there, he embarks on a relationship odyssey that leads him into all kinds of experiences from tantra cults to swinger’s clubs and beyond. His humorous and honest writing style had me laughing out loud at times as I read it at the airport and I deeply admire his vulnerability in bearing all.

The Truth is a fun and insightful exploration into relationships and commitment that will leave readers questioning their own beliefs about love and monogamy.…

By Neil Strauss,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Truth as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This is not a journey that was undertaken for journalistic purposes. It is a painfully honest account of a life crisis that was forced on me by my own behavior and its consequences.

"As such, it requires sharing a lot of things I'm not proud of—and a few things I feel like I should regret a whole lot more than I actually do. Because, unfortunately, I am not the hero in this tale. I am the villain."

So begins Neil Strauss's long-awaited follow-up to The Game, the funny and slyly instructive work of immersive journalism that jump-started the international "seduction…