100 books like Love's Executioner

Terrence Real tells it like it is, and his frank and forthright manner is something I truly admire. I got so much from this book because it is practical and motivating. I felt challenged and empowered to be more loving in my relationships, to recognize my own unhelpful behavior, to understand that certain habits can destroy a loving partnership and that great relationships take time to build—and that’s okay.

It's full of bullet points and tools, which I appreciate and can apply more easily, and he also has a strong message for men in his book, something that is lacking in relationship well-being literature generally. 

This is a solid book that will help you in your relationships.

In this claustrophobic modern classic, a grieving father and Ted Hughes scholar finds himself haunted by an oily, unnerving, anthropomorphic crow.

I’m a fan of anything Porter writes, but his debut is deserving of the indelible mark it’s made upon the modern literary landscape. The crow is a character like no other, and Porter’s poetry brings this strange and beautiful bird to life.

Jane Austen would have made such a great therapist! Her razor-sharp observations, combined with profound insights into people and relationships, make this book an all-time favorite of mine. I love her descriptions of falling in (and out of) love and how fallible each of her characters is, reminding us of our humanity–especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

What also strikes me is how true it is that pride, image, and status can still play out in our more modern relationships today. This book feels very old-fashioned in places, but it warns us how easily we can hurt other people and damage relationships, sometimes irrevocably. There’s a lot to learn from Emma, and I enjoy seeing relationships depicted in fiction, where so much can be explored through a fascinating and absorbing story, too.

Years ago, this book was handed to me as a gift with a knowing look, like a secret was about to be revealed to me. I gobbled it up and was literally walking to the book store while reading the last chapter so I could start reading the next book immediately.

I was surprised to find the series in the middle-grade section of the store because even though the protagonist is 11-year-old Lyra, the story is layered and sophisticated in a way that goes beyond most middle-grade books. Lyra’s world has a wonderful “out of time period” feel before any industrial or technological revolution. 

Lyra is a clever protagonist, fierce and scheming, orphaned in an alternative version of our world where children are disappearing on a regular basis. In this world, every person is energetically tethered to a “daemon,” who is their companion for life. They can’t be too far… show more.

This book exploded my (at that stage–limited) understanding of relationships and might have even inspired me to become a therapist. It highlighted for me how complex human dynamics are and how vital it is for us to have self-awareness and stay accountable in our partnerships.

It was so ahead of its time, tackling subjects like people-pleasing and gaslighting long before they were a thing. Groundbreaking when it came out in 1986, it is still relevant today and a true classic. I have recommended this book countless times to clients and friends alike and return to it often for Melody Beattie’s compassion, wisdom, guidance, and clarity.

This book speaks to my soul. Wiest’s writing makes me feel enriched and nurtured as she talks about life and love in a magical, almost poetic way. Full of short and long essays, it’s easy to dip into this book for a grounding reminder, a calming voice, and a warm hug.

I sometimes read it in between my sessions with clients as it is so uplifting, even though it tackles serious subjects. I also adore that this was written when Wiest was a young woman (in her 20s), and it represents the hope and goodness we need in our increasingly hostile world. I feel inspired to be strong and gentle, mentally astute and emotionally awake, assertive and receptive, kind and firm, all at the same time.

My book starts with a series of conversations with people who have psychosis and hear voices. Some people described to me a particularly unusual experience: the feeling of a voice being there, even when it wasn’t speaking.

As an undergraduate student one of the books that first got me thinking about these topics was Richard Bentall’s Madness Explained. It really opened my eyes to the possibilities of the mind and how we can think about experiences like hallucinations without necessarily pathologizing them.

This book was my gateway to then learning about things like the International Hearing Voices moment, which argues against an overly medicalized understanding of unusual experiences like voice-hearing. My book is quite wide-ranging, but I’ve tried to retain some of the ethos of Madness Explained in how I’ve approached the world of uncanny presences. 

Some of the most famous felt presences are those that occur in survival situations under the name of the “Third Man”.

The name comes from a line in The Wasteland, by T.S. Eliot, in which he recalled the story of Antarctic explorers being accompanied by a phantom figure. Tat story was Ernest Shackleton’s: at the end of the ill-fated Endurance expedition, Shackleton experienced something like a felt presence when crossing the interior of South Georgia Island to save the rest of his crew.

He recounts the story of the whole expedition in South, and it’s an amazing read. When I was writing my book, I was really struck by how good a psychologist Shackleton was: he was constantly trying to understand and motivate his crew, while being acutely aware of the impact of the situation and the environment around them.

At several points he directly comments on… show more.

An absolutely gorgeous autobiography that never for a moment bogs down in the details, but soars above the timeline of Yalom's life by concerning itself chiefly with glimmers of insight, events that have lived on in his unconscious and formed him into the healer he became. Like all of Yalom's best work, I found myself reading it slowly, savoring every word. The honesty, if you open yourself to it, and accept that he really is telling you the honest to god truth, smacks you in the face like few authors I've ever encountered. I kept thinking, if I do enough psychotherapy for long enough, I might be able to pull off this degree of self-knowledge.

Probably the best place to start with Yalom, this book is a must-read for therapists, and I recommend it regularly to anyone getting started in the business, or even contemplating pursuing a career in psychotherapy. The hardest guide to write about psychotherapy is the book about “technique” - not the highfalutin theory laced with opaque language book, but the hands-on, “this is what you say when someone says this” or “here's what you can do when you run into someone in this sort of situation” book.  This is that book, and only Yalom, with his immense experience and humility, could pull off this slender guide, packed with the wisdom of decades of working, alone, in a room with another human being in pain.  I return to this book regularly and always find something new and useful in his words.