The most recommended books on codependency

Who picked these books? Meet our 10 experts.

10 authors created a book list connected to codependency, and here are their favorite codependency books.
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Book cover of The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem.

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This book, written by life coach Lisa A. Romano, tells the story of a woman who has suffered childhood trauma, loneliness, and low self-esteem but eventually reaches a turning point where she heals from the faulty programming of her childhood that allows her to experience a healthy marriage. This book is a valuable resource for readers who may feel imprisoned by their unfortunate childhood. From codependency to narcissistic abuse, The Road Back to Me is an important resource for those seeking hope and inspiration to heal from their troubled past. This book features a well-written, descriptive, and inspirational story.

By Lisa A. Romano,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Road Back to Me as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

I was in my early thirties when I was told by a therapist that I was codependent and that my codependency was the result of being raised by two unrecovered adult children of alcoholics. At the time I was suffering from panic disorder, clinical depression, adult onset asthma and various other heath issues. Fearing I might die from some chronic disease, I enlisted the help of a therapist to help me sort out what might be the cause of all of my unease. When my therapist told me that all of my problems were related to being codependent I was…


Book cover of Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook: Inspired Exercises to Heal Your Codependent Relationships

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This book, written by my friend and fellow psychotherapist Robert Jackman, helps readers explore unresolved wounds from their childhood. Robert describes his own past, and his journey to assist readers with developing a deeper understanding of their relationships and codependency patterns. As many people are not aware of the unresolved emotional pain that they may carry, this book is a very valuable resource as it explains why childhood trauma may be the root cause of their feelings of depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions. A truly valuable book written by Robert’s own experience healing his lost inner child.

By Robert Jackman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

As you discovered through reading Healing Your Lost Inner Child, until we do our work to examine, understand and heal our wounded inner child, this part will continue to show up in our lives. In Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook, Psychotherapist and author Robert Jackman builds on the extensive material in the book with expanded exercises to help you better understand your inner child, yourself and your wisdom so that you feel authentic and complete.

This workbook features additional stories, examples and new concepts. You can read the Companion Workbook independently, but you will receive a deeper level…


Book cover of When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

If I could recommend one book, it would be this one by Dr. Ilene S. Cohen. This profound read transformed my understanding of relationships and self-worth, teaching me the importance of setting boundaries for a healthier, more empowered life.

It offered practical strategies that reshaped how I interact with others daily, helping me address past traumas and break free from codependency. The book's empathetic approach made me feel seen, understood, and hopeful for the future. It's truly a guide for anyone seeking to live a more authentic life.

By Ilene S Cohen,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked When It's Never About You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Is being a people-pleaser (a.k.a., conflict avoider, pushover, approval-seeker, doormat, etc.) ruining your life? Do you sometimes feel as if you exist only to satisfy others wants and needs, but never your own? Is your physical, mental, and emotional health suffering as a result?

Everyone loves a people-pleaser. They're always willing to help, to stay late, to fill in, to go along. But if you're one of them, you often end up feeling violated, ignored, disrespected, and disconnected from life and others. Silently enduring the ongoing and relentless invalidation of who you are and what you want will reliably wreak…


Book cover of How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

Bodhipaksa Author Of This Difficult Thing of Being Human: The Art of Self-Compassion

From my list on finding and building compassion.

Why am I passionate about this?

I went through a particularly hard time several years ago and to get through it I was forced to dig deep into what I’d learned about compassion and self-compassion over three decades of meditating. Because I’m a meditation teacher, I wanted to share with my students everything I learned about being kind and supportive toward myself as I went through the toughest challenges I’d ever faced so that they could benefit as well. That’s why I wrote This Difficult Thing of Being Human. Self-compassion has become the core of everything I’ve taught since then, and one of the wonderful things about it is that once you’ve shown yourself compassion, you automatically find yourself treating others with compassion too.

Bodhipaksa's book list on finding and building compassion

Bodhipaksa Why did Bodhipaksa love this book?

One of my favorite sayings (by G.K. Chesterton) is, “If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” With these well-chosen words, Chesterton converted me to “imperfectionism.” It’s not that as imperfectionists we should aim to do things badly, but that we should aim to do necessary things and accept that we’re going to make mistakes on the way. Guise’s writing isn’t always elegant. However, he puts the case strongly that perfectionism is not something to humble-brag about, and is a “disorder of the mind.” More importantly, though, he offers detailed, practical, easy-to-implement steps for developing an imperfectionist mindset where we “lose our crippling fear of not doing [things] well.”

By Stephen Guise,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Be an Imperfectionist as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From an early age, kids are taught to color inside the lines, and any color that strays outside the lines is considered to be a mistake that must be avoided. Perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. Imperfectionism, however, frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.The old way to approach perfectionism was to inspire people to “let go” of their need for perfection and hope they could do it. The new way is to show people how simple but highly strategic "mini actions” can empower them to gradually and effortlessly…


Book cover of The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love

Jan Bergstrom Author Of Gifts From A Challenging Childhood: Creating A Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self

From my list on healing persistent childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed—shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.

Jan's book list on healing persistent childhood trauma

Jan Bergstrom Why did Jan love this book?

I love this book because it addresses how important psychological boundaries are for healthy communication. I teach all my clients how to use these two kinds of invisible boundaries when relating to others.

I love the two parts: the speaking boundary, which helps contain my clients and keeps them respectful, and the listening boundary, which helps protect my clients from being too thin-skinned.

This groundbreaking definition and approach change their lives. I see that this is especially important for survivors of childhood trauma who were never protected. I love this book and live by it daily and personally.

By Pia Mellody, Lawrence S. Freundlich,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Intimacy Factor as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In her first book in over 10 years, Pia Mellody—author of the groundbreaking bestsellers Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction—shares her profound wisdom on what it takes to sustain true intimacy and trusting love in our most vital relationships.

Drawing on more than 20 years' experience as a counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter—and what makes them work. Using the most up–to–date research and real–life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships that…


Book cover of Iron Legacy: Childhood Trauma and Adult Transformation

Alle C. Hall Author Of As Far as You Can Go Before You Have to Come Back

From my list on girls with traumatic backgrounds.

Why am I passionate about this?

Alle C. Hall lived in Asia, traveled there extensively, and speaks what she calls, “clunky Japanese.” She lives in Seattle with a family whose love astounds her. She is proud of a note from The Kavanagh Sisters, Joyce, June, and Paula, founders of Ireland’s Count Me In! Survivors of Sexual Abuse Standing Together for Change, who write: “Alle may never know how many people she will help with this novel. Her ability to portray the hidden damage of the crime of sexual abuse shows that every decision a survivor makes is born out of deep self-hatred. Her storytelling is a frontal attack on those lies.”

Alle's book list on girls with traumatic backgrounds

Alle C. Hall Why did Alle love this book?

I am endlessly grateful for, astounded by, my joy-filled life, given my history of childhood trauma. I have no doubt that the reasons I’ve done as well as I have is the healing philosophy put forth in Iron Legacy. Full disclosure: the author was my therapist for 30 years, until she retired. I wasn’t her guinea pig, and I certainly make no money from recommending her book. I just happened to be Donna’s client for 30 of the 50 years during which she developed the ideas that are the core of Iron Legacy.

The physical/emotional/spiritual path of the main character in my book is based on what I learned about family dysfunction by working with Donna.

Iron Legacy combines Donna’s short, personal essays and her self-help nonfiction in a way that deftly unpeels why adults living with childhood trauma behave the way we do. Why the addiction? Why the…

By Donna Bevan-Lee,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Iron Legacy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Donna Bevan-Lee had a tough childhood. When her father was feeling playful, he roped her by the foot like a rodeo calf, yanking her to the ground every time the rope connected. In darker moods, he did far worse, his brutality excused by a church that gives men absolute power over women and children. The abuse she suffered had profound and lasting consequences, including self-loathing, addiction, and an inability to say "no."

Too many adults have similar histories. Roughly a quarter of American children experience complex trauma resulting from abuse, neglect, catastrophic illness, or other adversity. Because such trauma affects…


Book cover of Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Charisse Cooke Author Of The Attachment Solution: How to develop secure, strong and lasting relationships

From my list on how to create a great relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was fortunate enough to meet my husband over 17 years ago, and we have packed a lot of life in since then. Along with two kids and a dog, we’ve had our fair share of tough moments: financial challenges, bereavement, family issues, marital disagreement, and traumatic life events that taught me just as much as my two decades-long career as a relationship psychotherapist has. This, combined with working with individuals, couples, and partners in search of what love means and how to practically go about achieving it, has clarified for me just how much we all need tools and teachings when it comes to matters of the heart.

Charisse's book list on how to create a great relationship

Charisse Cooke Why did Charisse love this book?

This book exploded my (at that stage–limited) understanding of relationships and might have even inspired me to become a therapist. It highlighted for me how complex human dynamics are and how vital it is for us to have self-awareness and stay accountable in our partnerships.

It was so ahead of its time, tackling subjects like people-pleasing and gaslighting long before they were a thing. Groundbreaking when it came out in 1986, it is still relevant today and a true classic. I have recommended this book countless times to clients and friends alike and return to it often for Melody Beattie’s compassion, wisdom, guidance, and clarity.

By Melody Beattie,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Codependent No More as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book.

The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime…


Book cover of I Could Live Here Forever

Daisy Alpert Florin Author Of My Last Innocent Year

From Daisy's 3 favorite reads in 2023.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Novelist Mother Reader Feminist

Daisy's 3 favorite reads in 2023

Daisy Alpert Florin Why did Daisy love this book?

I Could Live Here Forever tells the story of a relationship between an aspiring writer and a heroin addict.

Hanna Halperin writes beautifully about loneliness and family, grief and abandonment, and the ways we use love to fill holes in ourselves that can maybe never be filled. 

The story is gripping and sad, but never manipulative or maudlin. I loved Halperin’s clear, straightforward style and the realistic way she presented the ripple effects of addiction. 

By Hanna Halperin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Could Live Here Forever as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A BELLETRIST BOOK CLUB PICK

“Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Let the rapturous intimacy and gut-churning ups and downs begin!” —Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review

By the award-winning author of Something Wild, a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict

When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there…


Book cover of Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This book, written by fellow psychotherapist Terri Cole, is a valuable resource for those struggling to set boundaries in their relationships. Whether it be a romantic partner, friend, or colleague, Terri delivers very practical information that will help the reader develop skills to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others. This book will help the reader understand why they feel powerless to set boundaries—while helping them gain the strength and confidence to do so. As a psychotherapist specializing in codependency, although aimed towards women, this book is an effective resource for anyone who struggles with setting boundaries.

By Terri Cole,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Boundary Boss as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Psychotherapist Terri Cole teaches a simple but powerful truth: without healthy boundaries, you can't live an authentic and fulfilled life. After all, if you're always smiling and saying "yes" to everything, how is anyone else supposed to know you're burnt out, overloaded, and not up to taking on yet another task?

This is especially true for today's women, who are often caught between cultural conditioning toward being "nice" and the need to protect their own well-being. With that in mind, Cole presents Boundary Boss, a comprehensive guide for any woman who wants to master creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.

In…


Book cover of Healing Your Wounded Relationship: How to Break Free of Codependent Patterns and Restore Your Loving Partnership

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This is Robert Jackman’s second book, which explains why unresolved inner child wounding contributes to codependency patterns in relationships. This book helps the reader develop a deeper understanding of codependency, which, as a result, helps them identify the unresolved trauma that contributes to it. This book is a useful resource to help the reader answer questions as to why they feel their relationship has gone off-track, and why they may struggle with communication. This book is recommended to those who are currently in a relationship or want to avoid falling into the same pattern in their next relationship.

By Robert Jackman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Healing Your Wounded Relationship as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Many people struggle at times with a challenging relationship or marriage and ask themselves how things got so screwed up. They wonder what they're doing wrong and why they keep making bad choices in who they date or partner with. Trying to fix these problems using outdated communication tools rarely works, so many give up, feeling lost, defeated and resentful.

This book helps you see how your unresolved inner child wounding keeps showing up, attracting and meshing with another’s codependent parts in a wounded dance—like a moth to a flame. Once you read this book, you will begin to see…