100 books like When It's Never About You

By Ilene S Cohen,

Here are 100 books that When It's Never About You fans have personally recommended if you like When It's Never About You. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

When you buy books, we may earn a commission that helps keep our lights on (or join the rebellion as a member).

Book cover of It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

This is a groundbreaking book that reshaped my understanding of family trauma and its impact across generations. It introduced me to the concept of inherited family trauma and offered insightful methods to uncover and break these cycles. This book not only educated me but also provided a path toward healing and self-discovery.

Reading it was an educational experience, revealing how much of who we are is influenced by the stories of our ancestors. Wolynn’s compassionate approach made complex psychological theories accessible and applicable to my life. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in exploring their family history and healing from its unseen effects. 

By Mark Wolynn,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked It Didn't Start With You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Inherited family trauma is currently an area of growing interest, as science increasingly explores what we know intuitively: that the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next, and that the answers to some of our greatest life problems often lie not within our own story, but in the experiences of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and extended family. Here, pioneer Mark Wolyn shows readers how they can overcome inherited trauma and reclaim their lives.


Book cover of Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

It revolutionized the way I view apologies and relationships. This book opened my eyes to the power of a sincere apology and how it can mend even the deepest of rifts.

Lerner’s insights into why people struggle to apologize genuinely were enlightening, offering me clarity on past conflicts and how to approach them differently. It didn’t just make me reevaluate my actions but also brought a sense of healing and closure to lingering issues. The book helped me improve my relationships and understand the complex dynamics of apologies and forgiveness.

It's concise, impactful, and truly transformative.

By Harriet Lerner,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language, "I'm sorry," and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken relationships and restoring trust. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies for more than two decades, namely, why some people won't give them. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that demonstrates the transformative power of making amends and what is required for healing when the damage we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a meaningful…


Book cover of Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

This was a perspective changer for me. This book not only taught me practical ways to manage anxiety but also transformed my outlook on life’s challenges, truly opening my mind with its insights.

It guided me through addressing unresolved issues without overwhelming sadness or fear, instead fostering a sense of empowerment. The light-hearted tone and moments of humor made me laugh and brought unexpected joy, making the exploration of personal growth enjoyable rather than daunting.

Smith's approachable style makes complex psychological concepts accessible. It helped me to find a calm in the chaos of my daily life.

By Kathleen Smith,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Everything Isn't Terrible as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Licensed therapist and respected mental health writer Dr. Kathleen Smith offers a smart, practical antidote to our anxiety-ridden times. Everything Isn't Terrible is an informative, and fun guide - featuring a healthy dose of humour - for people who want to become beacons of calmness in our anxious world.

Like Sarah Knight's "No F*cks Given" guides and You Are a Badass, Everything Isn't Terrible will inspire readers to confront their anxious selves, take charge of their anxiety, and increase their own capacity to choose how they respond to it. Comprised of short chapters containing anecdotal examples from Smith's personal experience…


Book cover of It's Within You: A Detailed Road Map to Igniting, Deeper Self-Worth, Richer Relationships, and Greater Personal Freedom

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

It’s Within You was a life-changing read that fundamentally changed my perspective on personal growth and resilience. It taught me powerful lessons about the strength and potential that lie within us all, which helps us know our sense of worth.

The book provided me with the tools to confront and heal from past traumas, offering a sense of peace I hadn't felt before. While it didn’t make me laugh, it did evoke a profound sense of joy and empowerment, steering my emotions toward hope rather than fear.

By Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein, Ilene S Cohen,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked It's Within You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A Powerful Synthesis of Modern Psychology and Ancient Spiritual Wisdom

What if you could just stop worrying about what others think of you?

How much more could you accomplish in life?

ONE simple shift could make it happen...

Burned out. Struggling. Undervalued. Conflicted. Invalidated. Anxious. Angry. Empty. All signs that your self-worth isn't coming from within. We've all been there, and it's not a place where healthy relationships, personal freedom, and peace of mind can thrive.

Do you find yourself asking:

Why doesn't he ever change?... Why don't they recognize my value?... Why won't she ever give me a break?...…


Book cover of Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook: Inspired Exercises to Heal Your Codependent Relationships

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This book, written by my friend and fellow psychotherapist Robert Jackman, helps readers explore unresolved wounds from their childhood. Robert describes his own past, and his journey to assist readers with developing a deeper understanding of their relationships and codependency patterns. As many people are not aware of the unresolved emotional pain that they may carry, this book is a very valuable resource as it explains why childhood trauma may be the root cause of their feelings of depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions. A truly valuable book written by Robert’s own experience healing his lost inner child.

By Robert Jackman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

As you discovered through reading Healing Your Lost Inner Child, until we do our work to examine, understand and heal our wounded inner child, this part will continue to show up in our lives. In Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook, Psychotherapist and author Robert Jackman builds on the extensive material in the book with expanded exercises to help you better understand your inner child, yourself and your wisdom so that you feel authentic and complete.

This workbook features additional stories, examples and new concepts. You can read the Companion Workbook independently, but you will receive a deeper level…


Book cover of Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

Ross Rosenberg Author Of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

From my list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.

Ross' book list on to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Ross Rosenberg Why did Ross love this book?

This book, written by fellow psychotherapist Terri Cole, is a valuable resource for those struggling to set boundaries in their relationships. Whether it be a romantic partner, friend, or colleague, Terri delivers very practical information that will help the reader develop skills to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others. This book will help the reader understand why they feel powerless to set boundaries—while helping them gain the strength and confidence to do so. As a psychotherapist specializing in codependency, although aimed towards women, this book is an effective resource for anyone who struggles with setting boundaries.

By Terri Cole,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Boundary Boss as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Psychotherapist Terri Cole teaches a simple but powerful truth: without healthy boundaries, you can't live an authentic and fulfilled life. After all, if you're always smiling and saying "yes" to everything, how is anyone else supposed to know you're burnt out, overloaded, and not up to taking on yet another task?

This is especially true for today's women, who are often caught between cultural conditioning toward being "nice" and the need to protect their own well-being. With that in mind, Cole presents Boundary Boss, a comprehensive guide for any woman who wants to master creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.

In…


Book cover of Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul

Rebecca E. Williams Author Of The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress, and Anger That Trigger Addictive Behaviors, 2nd Edition

From my list on ridiculously simple self-care in addiction recovery.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a psychologist, an award-winning author, and a yoga and meditation devotee. Growing up in the Bronx, New York I saw firsthand the devastating impact addiction can have on individuals and families. That is why I have dedicated my professional life to understanding and supporting people recovering from addiction, mental illness, and life's challenges. I’m also the co-author of The Gift of Recovery: 52 Mindful Ways to Live Joyfully Beyond Addiction, which offers lots of strategies to manage daily stressors. I wholeheartedly believe there is a path back to wellness. It takes a foundation of self-compassion and daily focus on your healing. You deserve to be healthy and happy.

Rebecca's book list on ridiculously simple self-care in addiction recovery

Rebecca E. Williams Why did Rebecca love this book?

I stumbled upon a terrific life companion in Melody Beattie’s Journey to the Heart book. I read a few gentle meditations every evening before bed, and feel both inspired and relaxed. There is definitely a way back to self-compassion and mental well-being and Melody has cleared the rocky path for us. All we have to do is walk it with her. If you have just one book by your bedside as you heal from addiction, this should be the one.

By Melody Beattie,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Journey to the Heart as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In the spirit of her bestselling "The Language of Letting Go", America's most beloved inspirational writer guides us on a sacred journey as we learn to expand our creativity, embrace our powers, and open our hearts. Writing with the same warmth, honesty, and compassion that has attracted such a loyal following, Melody Beattie now charts a new path toward spiritual growth and renewal. In 365 insightful and delightfully warm daily reflections, "Journey to the Heart" will comfort and inspire us all as we begin to discover our true purpose in the world and learn to connect even more deeply with…


Book cover of Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Charisse Cooke Author Of The Attachment Solution: How to develop secure, strong and lasting relationships

From my list on how to create a great relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was fortunate enough to meet my husband over 17 years ago, and we have packed a lot of life in since then. Along with two kids and a dog, we’ve had our fair share of tough moments: financial challenges, bereavement, family issues, marital disagreement, and traumatic life events that taught me just as much as my two decades-long career as a relationship psychotherapist has. This, combined with working with individuals, couples, and partners in search of what love means and how to practically go about achieving it, has clarified for me just how much we all need tools and teachings when it comes to matters of the heart.

Charisse's book list on how to create a great relationship

Charisse Cooke Why did Charisse love this book?

This book exploded my (at that stage–limited) understanding of relationships and might have even inspired me to become a therapist. It highlighted for me how complex human dynamics are and how vital it is for us to have self-awareness and stay accountable in our partnerships.

It was so ahead of its time, tackling subjects like people-pleasing and gaslighting long before they were a thing. Groundbreaking when it came out in 1986, it is still relevant today and a true classic. I have recommended this book countless times to clients and friends alike and return to it often for Melody Beattie’s compassion, wisdom, guidance, and clarity.

By Melody Beattie,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Codependent No More as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book.

The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime…


Book cover of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Karin Blak Author Of The Essential Companion to Talking Therapy: Everything You Need to Know about the Therapy Journey

From my list on how we can all be affected by trauma and recovery.

Why am I passionate about this?

Throughout my life as a therapist, I have focused on couple and family relationships, including the relationship we have with ourselves. When trauma was beginning to be recognised as something most people can and do experience, when we began to realise that it isn’t just front-line combat soldiers who get traumatised, I began my journey into how trauma affects our relationships. My study of trauma and relationships has helped my work with clients and, without naming their experiences as trauma, has moved them on from re-enacting the damage caused to them or unknowingly inflicting the same on others. 

Karin's book list on how we can all be affected by trauma and recovery

Karin Blak Why did Karin love this book?

Having grown up with an extremely toxic parent, I felt, and still feel, the fallout. The trauma of being silently ignored for days even when in dire need or having to care for an alcoholic parent – and worse still - from a very young age, I got used to having to fend for myself. 

Toxic Parents explained it all to me: how this treatment leaves deep scars that are difficult to heal, yet that there is hope for reparation. It took me on a journey of understanding, gave me skills to stand up when I felt I was falling down, and led me further into my curiosity of how to become an effective therapist.

This is another book on my list for clients to read, that helped them to open up during sessions about their own experiences and giving way for healing to stand a chance.

By Susan Forward,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Toxic Parents as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

__________________________________________________________________
Bestselling author and psychologist Dr Susan Forward offers effective alternatives for achieving inner peace and freeing yourself from frustrating patterns of relationships with your parents.

Millions of lives are damaged by the legacy of parental abuse:
* Parents who ignored their children's needs or overburdened them with guilt.
* Parents who were alcoholic or addicted to drugs.
* Parents who were exploitative and cruel, or simply indifferent and inadequate.

When these children reach adulthood the damage done by their toxic parents manifests itself in depression, or difficulties with relationships, careers and decision-making. In Toxic Parents, Dr Susan Forward shows…


Book cover of How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

Bodhipaksa Author Of This Difficult Thing of Being Human: The Art of Self-Compassion

From my list on finding and building compassion.

Why am I passionate about this?

I went through a particularly hard time several years ago and to get through it I was forced to dig deep into what I’d learned about compassion and self-compassion over three decades of meditating. Because I’m a meditation teacher, I wanted to share with my students everything I learned about being kind and supportive toward myself as I went through the toughest challenges I’d ever faced so that they could benefit as well. That’s why I wrote This Difficult Thing of Being Human. Self-compassion has become the core of everything I’ve taught since then, and one of the wonderful things about it is that once you’ve shown yourself compassion, you automatically find yourself treating others with compassion too.

Bodhipaksa's book list on finding and building compassion

Bodhipaksa Why did Bodhipaksa love this book?

One of my favorite sayings (by G.K. Chesterton) is, “If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” With these well-chosen words, Chesterton converted me to “imperfectionism.” It’s not that as imperfectionists we should aim to do things badly, but that we should aim to do necessary things and accept that we’re going to make mistakes on the way. Guise’s writing isn’t always elegant. However, he puts the case strongly that perfectionism is not something to humble-brag about, and is a “disorder of the mind.” More importantly, though, he offers detailed, practical, easy-to-implement steps for developing an imperfectionist mindset where we “lose our crippling fear of not doing [things] well.”

By Stephen Guise,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Be an Imperfectionist as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From an early age, kids are taught to color inside the lines, and any color that strays outside the lines is considered to be a mistake that must be avoided. Perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. Imperfectionism, however, frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.The old way to approach perfectionism was to inspire people to “let go” of their need for perfection and hope they could do it. The new way is to show people how simple but highly strategic "mini actions” can empower them to gradually and effortlessly…


Book cover of It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Book cover of Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
Book cover of Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down

Share your top 3 reads of 2024!

And get a beautiful page showing off your 3 favorite reads.

1,188

readers submitted
so far, will you?

5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in codependency, Psychotherapy, and mental health?

Codependency 13 books
Psychotherapy 108 books
Mental Health 194 books