The best Christian books on healing from divorce

The Books I Picked & Why

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Why this book?

I love this book! Setting boundaries can help you break old relationship patterns and reclaim yourself as an independent person. Knowing how to set healthy boundaries can help you with a range of situations from negotiating your divorce settlement, to claiming your own identity, to working out parenting issues. Not only that but the Boundaries book also helps you to set limits and still handle your divorce in a Christian way.

Boundaries isn’t specifically a book about divorce but knowing how to set boundaries is a game-changer for the divorced and divorcing. You can learn about setting divorce-related boundaries in my book Peace after Divorce but I recommend the book Boundaries to anyone who wishes to dig deeper. They always come back with a positive review.


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Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind

By Joyce Meyer

Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind

Why this book?

There’s a reason this book has sold over 1 million copies. All of us, divorced or not, benefit when we learn how to recognize damaging thoughts and keep them from coloring our lives. This is especially true when dealing with the negative and haunting thoughts that can come with divorce.

Your thoughts can determine whether you grieve forever or find a new life full of peace and joy. Like Chapter 6 in my book, Peace after Divorce, this book embraces the concept of Proverbs 23:7; “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Learning to win the battles in your mind represents one component of healing from divorce.


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Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

By Gregory L. Jantz, Tim Clinton, Ann McMurray

Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

Why this book?

I often see people who believe they need someone else to make them whole. This is especially true when someone has been emotionally or spiritually abused. Emotional abuse is when someone consistently belittles and dominates you dismissing your value and making you feel less than. In addition to addressing emotional abuse, Don’t Call it Love also delves into the issues of spiritual abuse, something I have seen all too often in my ministry. It’s a travesty when your mate distorts scripture to manipulate and control you or to make you feel less than. If you have experienced emotional or spiritual abuse this book can help you understand your true value in the eyes of God and give you insight into how to avoid continuing to land in abusive relationships.


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The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

By Robert E. Emery

The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

Why this book?

If you have children, this book is a great follow-up to the parenting section of my book Peace after Divorce. Based on his professional experience as a therapist and researcher Dr. Emery shares important steps you can take to see that your children become well-adjusted and thrive. I’m impressed with the depth of his insights and feel that parents who read this book will be better able to navigate the tricky pitfalls of parenting through and after divorce. Stories of families illustrate his points and make this book an interesting read as well as a rich resource for those who want to minimize the negative impact of divorce on their children. This is the only book on my list not from a Christian perspective but it is good for parents.


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The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

By Leslie Vernick

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

Why this book?

So many women have silently suffered abuse for years in the name of trying to do what they believe God would have them do. Sadly, their well-meaning efforts, and at times misunderstanding of the Scriptures, can actually feed the destructive cycle in their marriages. In this book, Leslie Vernick reaches out to the reader with practical strategies for recognizing emotional abuse and taking steps to break free of its bondage. She outlines what needs to happen for hope to be restored in a marriage and shares how to leave if the cycle of destruction continues. Many women I’ve worked with through my groups and Peace after Divorce Workshops have cited that this book literally saved their lives.


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