The best books for husbands on how to get less nagging and more nookie

Who am I?

After a decade writing advertising for airlines and beer, I found myself working as a freelance radio producer for thousands of radio broadcasts for Chuck Colson, Josh McDowell, Fathers.com, Heritage Foundation, and Voice of the Martyrs. Later, I reinvented myself as a national speaker and best-selling author of 25+ books including 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, Don’t Take the Bait to Escalate, and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? with sales approaching one million copies. My wife Rita and I live near Chicago, where we raised five awesome kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.


I wrote...

52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

By Jay Payleitner,

Book cover of 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

What is my book about?

Hey guys. Remember that girl you married? Remember how she caught your eye? The girl you couldn’t keep your hands off. The girl that taught you to love in brand new ways. Romantic love. Committed love. Crazy love. Eternal love. Where did that girl go?

She’s right there. Sharing your life. Sharing your bed. And she’s asking the same question. “Where did that boy go?” Husbands, your wife needs you to choose her all over again. To be the knight in shining armor. The leader. The listener. The lover. I promise no chapter will make you feel guilty or criticize men for acting like men! Want less nagging and more sex? You are now officially on the right track.

The books I picked & why

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The Five Love Languages

By Gary Chapman,

Book cover of The Five Love Languages

Why this book?

My love language is “Words of Encouragement.” My wife’s love language is “Receiving Gifts.” Now Rita and I might have figured that out eventually, but this book gets right to the point. Gary Chapman doesn’t need a plug from me. I think that book has sold a gazillion copies. Still, if you haven’t read it, make this your next book purchase. It’ll change your perspective on relationships. And get your more smooches, guaranteed. Guys, you definitely want to figure out your bride’s love language.


Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half: Why Differences Make a Marriage Great

By Rick Johnson,

Book cover of Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half: Why Differences Make a Marriage Great

Why this book?

This book delivers solid ideas on a successful marriage from a man’s perspective. Johnson’s approach may feel a little old-fashioned, where the man is the strong provider and the woman is the nurturer and she even has power over him because of her feminine wiles. But you know what? It works! Let’s face it, men and women have different world views and priorities. Johnson’s style is sly, fun, and relatable.


For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

By Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn,

Book cover of For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

Why this book?

This book is research-driven. But that doesn't mean it’s dry and dusty. Just the opposite! You can expect to pick up at least a dozen practical bits of advice or information you will use in your marriage and will even come in handy in any situation when you are interacting with the women. You’ll enjoy the conversational down-to-earth style, and walk away with real-life revelations that really will help you better understand women, and your wife in particular. You’ll find yourself in the doghouse less frequently and for a shorter duration. And she’ll snuggle up to you more often seemingly for no reason at all.


Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman

By Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker,

Book cover of Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman

Why this book?

This book will have you building toward a brighter future as a couple based on biblical principles. The author challenges conventional wisdom in some churches such as the belief that a man is "master" over his wife. While scripture does say, "wives, submit to your husband,” there’s much more to that idea. The verse goes on to say, "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church." This means a husband should sacrifice himself completely to his bride, putting her needs before his own, living for a higher purpose, and eventually submitting his very life to her.

Be prepared to do some self-examination. And expect honest commentary on "taboo" subjects such as sex, pornography, and gender stereotypes.


Husband On Purpose: Your 30 Day Action Plan to Become a Better Man and Build a Better Marriage

By II A. Conrad Deas,

Book cover of Husband On Purpose: Your 30 Day Action Plan to Become a Better Man and Build a Better Marriage

Why this book?

Men need to take responsibility for their marriage and family. And sometimes you need a plan. While the book seems to jump around a bit thematically, there’s a ton of great insight and even step-by-step instructions on making changes that need to be made. I guarantee, several passages in this book will jump out as things you had never previously considered. After studying your wife and working on your communication skills for the recommended 30 days, you may even suddenly feel as if you can read your wife’s mind! It’s an easy read and puts the ball in your hands and the ball in your court. Right where it needs to be. Men you can do this!


5 book lists we think you will like!

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And, 3 books we think you will enjoy!

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