The best books to read if you think you are being emotionally abused

The Books I Picked & Why

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

By Lundy Bancroft

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Why this book?

When I was in my abusive marriage, I spent days/weeks/years wondering WHY my husband acted the way he did. Was it my fault? Lundy Bancroft answers these questions better than any other. 1. Abusers like being in control. 2. They are convinced that it is OK to treat you badly. 3. Most of all, they get what they want by their abusive behavior. 

The clarity I gained from this book was amazing.


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The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

By Patricia Evans

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

Why this book?

When I was in my emotionally abusive marriage, I didn’t fully realize I was being abused. I finally called the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and they recommended this book. It does an excellent job of explaining what verbal/ emotional abuse is, and how to recognize it. Reading this book set me on the path to finally getting the help I needed and getting free from my abuser.


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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Why this book?

Many of us are taught that to say “no” to someone is unkind and un-Christian. When we can’t say no to others, we are in danger of being taken advantage of -  even being abused. This book explains the reason why we need good boundaries, how to enforce them, and how to become responsible for our own lives and happiness.


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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

By Karyl McBride

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Why this book?

Many people who are abused by their intimate partners learned to accept this behavior in their childhood. This book describes how a narcissistic parent twists the minds of their children to make the narcissist feel better. It helps de-mystify the sometimes non-sensical actions of the parent, helps the adult child set appropriate boundaries and find healing.


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A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

By Jeff Crippen, Anna Wood

A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

Why this book?

When I was in the process of leaving my abusive husband, I sought help from my church. Sadly, my pastors had no idea what they were dealing with. Instead of helping me, they sided with my abuser. This book, written by a pastor, helps churches understand the evil that abusers perpetrate, and how they can and should help the abused partner.


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