I am a psychologist, yet I am also a human being with real, complex, and, at times, disturbing thoughts and feelings. I would say I’ve learnt more from my own experiences and those shared by others than any training or qualifications. I never tire of listening to these real-life narratives, which are full of more color and depth than our rudimentary single-word emotion labels describe. I gather these stories up to feed my emotobiome (our microscopic inner world of feelings) along with the books and learnings from my list. I hope you’ll join me on this rollercoaster ride through human feelings–I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
I wrote...
Tiny Traumas: When You Don't Know What's Wrong, but Nothing Feels Quite Right
We tend to think that major life and “Big T” trauma are the only events that can influence our emotional health in a significant way, but this isn’t the case. Cumulative “tiny t traumas” can build up over time and have a big impact on how we view the world and ourselves. We often dismiss these experiences, creating difficult feelings like embarrassment, guilt, and unworthiness.
My book shows how growing up in misattunement with our caregivers, successive microaggressions at work, medical gaslighting in the face of an invisible illness, and the breakdown of a central friendship are all examples of tiny traumas that can contribute to emotional blunting, imposter syndrome, daily anxiety and a loss of sense of self–and how to overcome these experiences.
I loved this scientific yet readable book because it gave me the physiological answers to why we feel the way we feel!
As a psychologist, I’m used to helping people unpick their trauma and past experiences to give insight to their present emotions, but reading this book gave me further understanding on a molecular level.
As a practitioner, I often bang on about the mind-body connection and how we can use the mind to help heal the body and vice versa, and this book gave me robust explanations regarding the role of neurochemicals to help explain this interaction to my clients.
Why do we feel the way we feel? How do our thoughts and emotions affect our health? Are our bodies and minds distinct from each other or do they function together as part of an interconnected system? In MOLECULES OF EMOTION, neuroscientist Candace Pert provides startling and decisive answers to these long-debated questions, establishing the biomolecular basis for our emotions and explaining these new scientific developments in a clear and accessible way. Her pioneering research on how the chemicals inside us form a dynamic information network, linking mind and body, is not only provocative, it is revolutionary. In her groundbreaking…
I loved this book as it clearly separated the two areas of the brain associated with some of the most challenging feelings we experience (fear, worry, etc.) and how we can use this knowledge to truly overcome the most frequent presentations I see in my practice–stress and anxiety.
Having experienced crippling anxiety at points in my life, I found comfort in further understanding why we as humans are essentially programmed to be anxious–without these neurological systems, we would not have survived.
But we needn’t be slaves to the amygdala and cortex, and so, I like that this book also outlined many easy and practical techniques to get to grips with an anxious brain in a complex world.
Do you ever wonder what is happening inside your brain when you feel anxious, panicked, and worried? In Rewire Your Anxious Brain, psychologist Catherine Pittman and author Elizabeth Karle offer a unique, evidence-based solution to overcoming anxiety based in cutting-edge neuroscience and research.
In the book, you will learn how the amygdala and cortex (both important parts of the brain) are essential players in the neuropsychology of anxiety. The amygdala acts as a primal response, and oftentimes, when this part of the brain processes fear, you may not even understand why you are afraid. By comparison, the cortex is the…
I’m not sure I could love this book anymore–I often speak about the importance of accepting and working through negative emotions and that there are no inherently “bad” feelings, but this book expresses the importance of the difficult seasons we experience in life in an utterly breathtaking and encompassing way.
This is more of a memoir than a scientific book that wraps you in a warm embrace of personal narrative, like talking to a dear friend after a heartbreak. With the inclusion of historical and anthropological examples of “wintering,” this book beautifully takes a stance against toxic positivity and why it’s ok not to be ok.
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER BBC RADIO 4 BOOK OF THE WEEK
'A beautiful, gentle exploration of the dark season of life and the light of spring that eventually follows' RAYNOR WINN
'My favourite book of the last five years' CAITLIN MORAN
Wintering is a poignant and comforting meditation on the fallow periods of life, times when we must retreat to care for and repair ourselves. Katherine May thoughtfully shows us how to come through these times with the wisdom of knowing that, like the seasons, our winters and summers are the ebb and flow of life.
I’ve found so much value in this book; it’s one of my most recommended titles to both friends and clients.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people feel “not good enough” and the impact this has on our lives. Some of the most challenging feelings, such as guilt and shame, frequently emerge out of complex early life family dynamics, and more subtle forms of emotional neglect associated with narcissistic personality disorder can be incredibly difficult to disentangle.
The ”a-ha” moments in this book, especially emerging from the case studies, shone a light on feelings of insignificance and how to heal the inner child.
From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.
The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…
A dear friend gave me this book many moons ago, and it is still one of my favorite titles for understanding feelings. Unlike the other books on my list, this is a fiction novel, but the themes of knowing and accepting oneself are so courageously interweaved in this story that I would be amiss not to include it here.
I find the darker undertones of this book more aligned with my understanding of human nature and emotions. We tend to overly focus on joyful feelings when there is so much more to be learned from exploring the full range of human experience–real or imagined.
A National Book Award Finalist: This 'wonderfully descriptive' novel from an author with a 'tremendous imagination' tells the unforgettable story of the Binewskis, a carny family whose mater- and paterfamilias have bred their own exhibit of human oddities. (The New York Times Book Review)
The Binewskis arex a circus-geek family whose matriarch and patriarch have bred their own exhibit of human oddities (with the help of amphetamine, arsenic, and radioisotopes). Their offspring include Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition worthy of Genghis Khan, Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins, albino hunchback Oly, and…
Trusted for more than three decades by family caregivers and professionals alike, this comprehensive and reassuring caregiving guide offers the crucial information you need to look after your elders and plan for the future.
Being a caregiver for aging parents, close friends and family, and other elders in your life is an overwhelming experience, whether you are one who has stepped into this role without warning or one who is also contemplating their own care plan. Now in its fourth edition, The Complete Eldercare Planner will help you navigate today’s complex caregiving landscape while addressing your unique needs.
Trusted for more than three decades by family caregivers and professionals alike, this comprehensive and reassuring caregiving guide offers the crucial information you need to look after your elders and plan for the future.
“The most complete resource between two covers.”—Woman’s Day
Being a caregiver for aging parents, close friends and family, and other elders in your life is an overwhelming experience, whether you are one who has stepped into this role without warning or one who is also contemplating their own care plan. Now in its fourth edition, The Complete Eldercare Planner will help you navigate today’s complex caregiving…
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