10 books like Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

By Lundy Bancroft,

Here are 10 books that authors have personally recommended if you like Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Shepherd is a community of 8,000+ authors sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognize It and How to Respond

Caroline Abbott Author Of A Journey Through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom

From the list on being emotionally abused.

Who am I?

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years but didn’t realize what was happening to me. I tried to twist myself into a perfectly shaped pretzel to make my husband happy. It didn’t work. Reading some of these books gave me the courage to seek a restraining order and divorce my husband. Since then, I became a domestic violence advocate, author, blogger, and mental health counselor. 

Caroline's book list on being emotionally abused

Discover why each book is one of Caroline's favorite books.

Why did Caroline love this book?

When I was in my emotionally abusive marriage, I didn’t fully realize I was being abused. I finally called the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and they recommended this book. It does an excellent job of explaining what verbal/ emotional abuse is, and how to recognize it. Reading this book set me on the path to finally getting the help I needed and getting free from my abuser.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognize It and How to Respond

By Patricia Evans,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognize It and How to Respond as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

You deserve respect.

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind…


Boundaries

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend,

Book cover of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Gina Holmes Author Of Dry as Rain

From the list on avoiding relationship mistakes.

Who am I?

I chose this topic because I learned a lot of self-defense mechanisms in childhood that did not continue to serve me well as an adult. This behavior carried into my romantic relationships more than anywhere else, and for a long time, my "picker" was broken, meaning I kept picking unhealthy people to be in relationships. Reading books like the ones I’ve recommended on this list helped change that for me over time. My heart breaks for other women and men whose pickers are also broken. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Get yourself these books. 

Gina's book list on avoiding relationship mistakes

Discover why each book is one of Gina's favorite books.

Why did Gina love this book?

This book really should be recommended reading for every human. Having good boundaries isn’t just about not letting other people not walk all over you or staying in your own lane, it’s about recognizing when you are carrying another person’s backpack, and letting their actions steal your peace. If you think you don’t have boundaries issues, you definitely do. Most, if not all, of us do to some extent. I re-read this book a couple of times a year.

Boundaries

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Boundaries as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, coworkers, and even themselves, in order to live life to the fullest.

Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.

Boundaries, a…


Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Danu Morrigan Author Of You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

From the list on daughters of narcissistic mothers flourish and thrive.

Who am I?

I am Danu Morrigan and I run the website Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Ever since realising in 2008 that my mother was most likely narcissistic (although she was never diagnosed as such and this is just my best guess), I have been absorbed in this topic, both for my own sake, and to share what I learn with other daughters of narcissistic mothers. I’m especially dedicated to finding ways we can heal from this and live our own best lives regardless of her impact.

Danu's book list on daughters of narcissistic mothers flourish and thrive

Discover why each book is one of Danu's favorite books.

Why did Danu love this book?

This is the first book I ever read on the topic of daughters of narcissistic mothers, and it taught me so much. It opened my eyes to the toxic dynamic that narcissistic mothers create in their families. I vividly recall the graphic of how the narcissistic mother is at the centre of the family, and all other family members orbit around her, striving to meet her demands.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


A Cry for Justice

By Jeff Crippen, Anna Wood,

Book cover of A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

Caroline Abbott Author Of A Journey Through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom

From the list on being emotionally abused.

Who am I?

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years but didn’t realize what was happening to me. I tried to twist myself into a perfectly shaped pretzel to make my husband happy. It didn’t work. Reading some of these books gave me the courage to seek a restraining order and divorce my husband. Since then, I became a domestic violence advocate, author, blogger, and mental health counselor. 

Caroline's book list on being emotionally abused

Discover why each book is one of Caroline's favorite books.

Why did Caroline love this book?

When I was in the process of leaving my abusive husband, I sought help from my church. Sadly, my pastors had no idea what they were dealing with. Instead of helping me, they sided with my abuser. This book, written by a pastor, helps churches understand the evil that abusers perpetrate, and how they can and should help the abused partner.

A Cry for Justice

By Jeff Crippen, Anna Wood,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Cry for Justice as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ!

In many Christian circles this may be a taboo subject--spoken of in hushed tones or behind closed doors. But it is a very real problem that must be brought into the light of Scripture.

Abuse in the church takes different forms; but it is alive and active even in "nice" families in our churches. Typically, the abuser is male, usually a husband--and his character is that of a manipulating deceiver. Countless women and children--even many faithful pastors--have been abused by these deceivers.

Have you, or someone you know, been a victim? Has an…


The Way to Love

By Anthony De Mello,

Book cover of The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From the list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Who am I?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Discover why each book is one of Sonia's favorite books.

Why did Sonia love this book?

I am a self-help junkie and have read a ridiculous amount of books about relationships. But if I had to pick one, this would be it. This little book reveals the secret to peace in your relationships… and it’s not what you think. Anthony de Mello teaches that love is found only in fearlessness and freedom. He provides a simple formula for releasing the angst caused by unhealthy attachments to our partners, so we can feel joyful and complete in their company or on our own. Anthony de Mello’s wisdom has been instrumental in my personal healing and provided the foundation for my own teachings. 

The Way to Love

By Anthony De Mello,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Way to Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the international bestselling author of Awareness, a pocket-sized guide that will bring you to new levels of spiritual awareness.

The Way To Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought, and  in it he grapples with the ultimate question of  love. In thirty-one meditations, he implores his  readers with his usual pithiness to break through  illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love  springs from awareness," de Mello insists, saying  that it is only when we see others as they are  that we can begin to really love. But not only must  we seek to see others with…


On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself

By Sonya Friedman, Guy Kettelhack,

Book cover of On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself: Turning the Life You Have Into the Life You Want

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From the list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Who am I?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Discover why each book is one of Sonia's favorite books.

Why did Sonia love this book?

This book kept me afloat while I was recovering from a toxic marriage and divorce. In this timeless classic, Dr. Sonya Friedman delivers the prescription for women who want more out of life. Dr. Friedman delivers a healthy dose of empowerment with gusto, like a dear friend who wants the best for you. The book reveals the nine myths that women are taught about their lives and the nine facts that free them, strategies to jump-start their lives, embrace change in positive ways, chart a new direction, and achieve their dreams. A great read for anyone seeking to rebuild their life! 

On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself

By Sonya Friedman, Guy Kettelhack,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this book, the author exhorts each woman to be the sole arbiter and architect of her life, showing her how to find and heed the unique voice within her, and how to distinguish her internal needs amidst the welter of external expectations and demands.


Forgiveness

By Iyanla Vanzant,

Book cover of Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From the list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Who am I?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Discover why each book is one of Sonia's favorite books.

Why did Sonia love this book?

Much of the pain experienced in toxic relationships stems from lack of forgiveness–forgiveness of our partners as well as ourselves. In this book, Iyanla Vanzant comes to the rescue with simple yet powerful strategies that help readers gain clarity and free themselves from the toxicity of unforgiveness. The book contains a 21-day workbook and a CD with guided meditation exercises for every day of your forgiveness journey. I experienced increased inner peace and freedom within days of sharing this journey with Vanzant.

Forgiveness

By Iyanla Vanzant,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Forgiveness as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Today, too many of us stay stuck in stagnant intimate, family or workplace relationships, imprisoned by memories of what others have done to us or not done for us. Weighed down by toxic thoughts and emotions, we are quick to judge, self-righteous about what we feel and slow to pardon.

In Forgiveness, New York Times bestselling author and legendary life coach Iyanla Vanzant challenges us to liberate ourselves from the energetic blockages and wounds of the past.

Her powerful 21-Day Forgiveness Practice, which is also offered as an OWN Lifeclass, combines inspirational stories and intensive journal work with the revolutionary…


Book cover of God, the Devil, and Divorce: A Transformative Journey out of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From the list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Who am I?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Discover why each book is one of Sonia's favorite books.

Why did Sonia love this book?

Divorce is a devastating experience, especially where ending a marriage is viewed as a separation, not only from your spouse, but from your church as well. In God, the Devil and Divorce, Linda M. Kurth shares her personal divorce journey in spite of the opposition of her community of faith to escape the pain of an abusive marriage. She emerges triumphantly as a trailblazer for Christian women enduring spousal abuse, offering hope and reassuring them that life goes on—and happily. 

God, the Devil, and Divorce

By Linda M. Kurth,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked God, the Devil, and Divorce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

God, The Devil, and Divorce tells the story of a Christian woman's marriage and divorce recovery from her "crazymaking" spouse; and how she learned to trust God along the way.

How could Linda Moore Kurth's marriage that once seemed so right become so wrong? Put-downs, shaming, and distancing grow into habitual emotional abuse. Counseling provides glimmers of hope, only for that hope to fade. She is shocked when her latest Christian counselor tells her, "If you divorce, Satan wins."

Linda receives a dichotomy of reactions from other Christians for her ultimate decision to leave her marriage. Betrayal and heartache bring…


Book cover of Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes

Beth Fehlbaum Author Of Big Fat Disaster

From the list on YA about broken people.

Who am I?

I always used food to cope with painful feelings, and I developed Binge Eating Disorder as a child. As an adult, I was in therapy to deal with traumatic stuff, and I lost 100 pounds. I finished therapy with a whole new set of tools with which to navigate the world, but I still regained the weight and started hating myself again. I said, “Whoa. Time-out. I am worthy of love. That has not changed, so why do I hate myself again?” That is what I explore in Big Fat Disaster: what is our worth, and why should that worth depend on what we look like? 

Beth's book list on YA about broken people

Discover why each book is one of Beth's favorite books.

Why did Beth love this book?

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes is the reason I am a YA author. When I read this book, I was in recovery from an abusive childhood, and Chris’ authentic way of revealing characters’ trauma told me, “There is a place in the world for stories like mine.” I could write without looking over my shoulder; I could be fearless, true, and validate my own & others’ experiences. In my own book, I write in a raw way what it is like to have a binge-eating disorder and to be scorned for one’s size, because I have BED, felt shameful, and I have experienced such scorn. I possess a determination to not feel obligated to write happy endings, but to always write hopeful endings. I learned that from Chris Crutcher’s books.

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes

By Chris Crutcher,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Called a "masterpiece" in a starred review from School Library Journal, award-winning author Chris Crutcher's acclaimed Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes is an enduring classic.

This bestselling novel is about love, loyalty, and friendship in the face of adversity. "Superb plotting, extraordinary characters, and cracking narrative make this novel unforgettable."-Publishers Weekly

Sarah Byrnes and Eric Calhoune have been friends for years. When they were children, his weight and her scars made them both outcasts. Now Sarah Byrnes-the smartest, toughest person Eric has ever known-sits silent in a hospital. Eric must uncover the terrible secret she's hiding before its dark current…


Harm Done

By Ruth Rendell,

Book cover of Harm Done

Jenny Twist Author Of A Gift for Murder: A Tommy Ross mystery

From the list on crime fiction with memorable plots and characters.

Who am I?

I’ve been reading crime fiction all my life. I love following the detective sifting through the evidence—the clues, the false trails, and the eventual denouement. It was a crime fiction book that made me realise that history is not fixed but is, in fact, detective work. It changes as more evidence is discovered or a new interpretation is accepted. That book made me decide to take history as my subject at university and I spent six deliriously happy years examining evidence, evaluating it, and, reaching conclusions. Amongst my case studies were the princes in the tower, the gunpowder plot, and witchcraft. Happy days!

Jenny's book list on crime fiction with memorable plots and characters

Discover why each book is one of Jenny's favorite books.

Why did Jenny love this book?

Rendell’s Inspector Wexford is so real that one reader wrote to the author, begging her to kill Wexford’s wife so she could marry him.

I’ve read all the Wexford books but this was the one that stood out for me. 

It’s a complex plot that involves kidnapping, a paedophile, a riot in which a policeman is burned to death, domestic abuse, and a cold-blooded murder. 

Something for everyone!

Harm Done

By Ruth Rendell,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Harm Done as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The search for the body commenced. Then the victim walked into town.

Behind the picture-postcard façade of Kingsmarkham lies a community rife with violence, betrayal, and a taste for vengeance. When sixteen-year-old Lizzie Cromwell reappears no one knows where she has been, including Lizzie herself. Inspector Wexford thinks she was with a boyfriend. But the disappearance of a three-year-old girl casts a more ominous light on events. And when the public's outrage turns toward a recently released pederast and another suspect turns up stabbed to death, Wexford must try to unravel the mystery before any more bodies appear, and before…


5 book lists we think you will like!

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