100 books like Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

By Lundy Bancroft,

Here are 100 books that Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men fans have personally recommended if you like Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Shepherd is a community of 10,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Lynne Malcolm Author Of All In The Mind: Fascinating, inspiring and transformative stories from the forefront of brain science

From my list on psychology of the human experience.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a science journalist and broadcaster with a degree in Psychology and a deep passion and fascination for people, their behavior, and the workings of the human mind.  For nine years, I produced and presented the popular Australian ABC radio program and podcast, All in the Mind, in which I explored a range of topics, including neuroscience, psychiatry, psychology, cognitive science, mental health, and human behavior. I’ve received numerous media awards and contributed to media award judging panels. All in the Mind - fascinating, inspiring, and transformative stories from the forefront of brain science is my first book. I continue to write and communicate about the topics I am inspired by. 

Lynne's book list on psychology of the human experience

Lynne Malcolm Why did Lynne love this book?

I found this book inspiring because it takes a different perspective on treating trauma, which is the basis of so many mental health problems. The author draws on his decades of experience treating people who are haunted by their stressful experiences. I love his clear explanation that when people are deeply traumatized by war, disaster, or abuse, their reality is distinctly different from those around them, and it’s like they live on another planet.

He uses stories and case studies to explain his view that the most powerful way to treat psychological trauma is not through the mind but through the body. I love his compassionate stories about how he has successfully helped children and adults heal, not through triggering talk therapy but by using play, yoga, and other physical therapies. His approach may be unconventional, but I admire his dedication and passion for healing deep trauma. 

By Bessel Van Der Kolk,

Why should I read it?

15 authors picked The Body Keeps the Score as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

#1 New York Times bestseller

"Essential reading for anyone interested in understanding and treating traumatic stress and the scope of its impact on society." -Alexander McFarlane, Director of the Centre for Traumatic Stress Studies

A pioneering researcher transforms our understanding of trauma and offers a bold new paradigm for healing in this New York Times bestseller

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der…


Book cover of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognize It and How to Respond

Caroline Abbott Author Of A Journey Through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom

From my list on being emotionally abused.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years but didn’t realize what was happening to me. I tried to twist myself into a perfectly shaped pretzel to make my husband happy. It didn’t work. Reading some of these books gave me the courage to seek a restraining order and divorce my husband. Since then, I became a domestic violence advocate, author, blogger, and mental health counselor. 

Caroline's book list on being emotionally abused

Caroline Abbott Why did Caroline love this book?

When I was in my emotionally abusive marriage, I didn’t fully realize I was being abused. I finally called the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and they recommended this book. It does an excellent job of explaining what verbal/ emotional abuse is, and how to recognize it. Reading this book set me on the path to finally getting the help I needed and getting free from my abuser.

By Patricia Evans,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognize It and How to Respond as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

You deserve respect.

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind…


Book cover of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Healey E. Ikerd Author Of Changing Your Feelings: A Workbook for Anxiety and Worry from a Christian Perspective

From my list on Christians determined to be more mentally healthy.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed therapist who has been in the mental health field for over 15 years. I believe that God wants his followers to be mentally healthy! We are better witnesses to Him when we think and act in ways that reflect biblical principles. This is why I am a big fan of books that help me think and act more wisely and that also helps me follow God more deeply. Working through our mental ‘stuff’ and following God well are greatly intertwined. Whether in person or by recommending books, I love to be a part of that process with people.

Healey's book list on Christians determined to be more mentally healthy

Healey E. Ikerd Why did Healey love this book?

I have read this book so many times. It is a classic! For those of us who have struggled with saying yes to everything, I was so thankful that I found this book. 

A heart of compassion and care can set you up for burnout, resentment, and going in directions that God doesn’t want you to go. The authors are brilliant, and they help Christians learn that it is okay to say No and that is actually good for us and others. Saying No when appropriate is a sign of good mental health.

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Boundaries as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, coworkers, and even themselves, in order to live life to the fullest.

Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.

Boundaries, a…


Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Meg Arroll Author Of Tiny Traumas: When You Don't Know What's Wrong, but Nothing Feels Quite Right

From my list on helping you understand why you feel the way you fee.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a psychologist, yet I am also a human being with real, complex, and, at times, disturbing thoughts and feelings. I would say I’ve learnt more from my own experiences and those shared by others than any training or qualifications. I never tire of listening to these real-life narratives, which are full of more color and depth than our rudimentary single-word emotion labels describe. I gather these stories up to feed my emotobiome (our microscopic inner world of feelings) along with the books and learnings from my list. I hope you’ll join me on this rollercoaster ride through human feelings–I wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

Meg's book list on helping you understand why you feel the way you fee

Meg Arroll Why did Meg love this book?

I’ve found so much value in this book; it’s one of my most recommended titles to both friends and clients.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people feel “not good enough” and the impact this has on our lives. Some of the most challenging feelings, such as guilt and shame, frequently emerge out of complex early life family dynamics, and more subtle forms of emotional neglect associated with narcissistic personality disorder can be incredibly difficult to disentangle.

The ”a-ha” moments in this book, especially emerging from the case studies, shone a light on feelings of insignificance and how to heal the inner child.

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


Book cover of A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

Caroline Abbott Author Of A Journey Through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom

From my list on being emotionally abused.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years but didn’t realize what was happening to me. I tried to twist myself into a perfectly shaped pretzel to make my husband happy. It didn’t work. Reading some of these books gave me the courage to seek a restraining order and divorce my husband. Since then, I became a domestic violence advocate, author, blogger, and mental health counselor. 

Caroline's book list on being emotionally abused

Caroline Abbott Why did Caroline love this book?

When I was in the process of leaving my abusive husband, I sought help from my church. Sadly, my pastors had no idea what they were dealing with. Instead of helping me, they sided with my abuser. This book, written by a pastor, helps churches understand the evil that abusers perpetrate, and how they can and should help the abused partner.

By Jeff Crippen, Anna Wood,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Cry for Justice as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ!

In many Christian circles this may be a taboo subject--spoken of in hushed tones or behind closed doors. But it is a very real problem that must be brought into the light of Scripture.

Abuse in the church takes different forms; but it is alive and active even in "nice" families in our churches. Typically, the abuser is male, usually a husband--and his character is that of a manipulating deceiver. Countless women and children--even many faithful pastors--have been abused by these deceivers.

Have you, or someone you know, been a victim? Has an…


Book cover of The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

I am a self-help junkie and have read a ridiculous amount of books about relationships. But if I had to pick one, this would be it. This little book reveals the secret to peace in your relationships… and it’s not what you think. Anthony de Mello teaches that love is found only in fearlessness and freedom. He provides a simple formula for releasing the angst caused by unhealthy attachments to our partners, so we can feel joyful and complete in their company or on our own. Anthony de Mello’s wisdom has been instrumental in my personal healing and provided the foundation for my own teachings. 

By Anthony De Mello,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Way to Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the international bestselling author of Awareness, a pocket-sized guide that will bring you to new levels of spiritual awareness.

The Way To Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought, and  in it he grapples with the ultimate question of  love. In thirty-one meditations, he implores his  readers with his usual pithiness to break through  illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love  springs from awareness," de Mello insists, saying  that it is only when we see others as they are  that we can begin to really love. But not only must  we seek to see others with…


Book cover of On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself: Turning the Life You Have Into the Life You Want

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

This book kept me afloat while I was recovering from a toxic marriage and divorce. In this timeless classic, Dr. Sonya Friedman delivers the prescription for women who want more out of life. Dr. Friedman delivers a healthy dose of empowerment with gusto, like a dear friend who wants the best for you. The book reveals the nine myths that women are taught about their lives and the nine facts that free them, strategies to jump-start their lives, embrace change in positive ways, chart a new direction, and achieve their dreams. A great read for anyone seeking to rebuild their life! 

By Sonya Friedman, Guy Kettelhack,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this book, the author exhorts each woman to be the sole arbiter and architect of her life, showing her how to find and heed the unique voice within her, and how to distinguish her internal needs amidst the welter of external expectations and demands.


Book cover of Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

Much of the pain experienced in toxic relationships stems from lack of forgiveness–forgiveness of our partners as well as ourselves. In this book, Iyanla Vanzant comes to the rescue with simple yet powerful strategies that help readers gain clarity and free themselves from the toxicity of unforgiveness. The book contains a 21-day workbook and a CD with guided meditation exercises for every day of your forgiveness journey. I experienced increased inner peace and freedom within days of sharing this journey with Vanzant.

By Iyanla Vanzant,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Forgiveness as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Today, too many of us stay stuck in stagnant intimate, family or workplace relationships, imprisoned by memories of what others have done to us or not done for us. Weighed down by toxic thoughts and emotions, we are quick to judge, self-righteous about what we feel and slow to pardon.

In Forgiveness, New York Times bestselling author and legendary life coach Iyanla Vanzant challenges us to liberate ourselves from the energetic blockages and wounds of the past.

Her powerful 21-Day Forgiveness Practice, which is also offered as an OWN Lifeclass, combines inspirational stories and intensive journal work with the revolutionary…


Book cover of God, the Devil, and Divorce: A Transformative Journey out of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

Divorce is a devastating experience, especially where ending a marriage is viewed as a separation, not only from your spouse, but from your church as well. In God, the Devil and Divorce, Linda M. Kurth shares her personal divorce journey in spite of the opposition of her community of faith to escape the pain of an abusive marriage. She emerges triumphantly as a trailblazer for Christian women enduring spousal abuse, offering hope and reassuring them that life goes on—and happily. 

By Linda M. Kurth,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked God, the Devil, and Divorce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

God, The Devil, and Divorce tells the story of a Christian woman's marriage and divorce recovery from her "crazymaking" spouse; and how she learned to trust God along the way.

How could Linda Moore Kurth's marriage that once seemed so right become so wrong? Put-downs, shaming, and distancing grow into habitual emotional abuse. Counseling provides glimmers of hope, only for that hope to fade. She is shocked when her latest Christian counselor tells her, "If you divorce, Satan wins."

Linda receives a dichotomy of reactions from other Christians for her ultimate decision to leave her marriage. Betrayal and heartache bring…


Book cover of Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists

Nadine Macaluso Author Of Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds

From my list on trauma bonds.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I also have my Ph.D. in somatic psychotherapy. In my clinical practice, I noticed how many smart, kind women were trapped in trauma bonds. So, I researched the topic and decided to write a book to help women understand the complex psychological process of trauma bonds and how to recover from coercive control and abuse. Also, my ex-husband is the "Wolf of Wall Street", so I have personal experience of a trauma bond as well.

Nadine's book list on trauma bonds

Nadine Macaluso Why did Nadine love this book?

I loved this book because the research Sandra Brown illuminates about narcissistic abuse is groundbreaking.

I was gripped by how the author described the people who are the perpetrators of trauma bonds. It was the first book that I had read about domestic violence that did not blame the victim.

In fact, the author presented personality research that changed my whole perception of the victim in a trauma bond.

By Sandra L. Brown, Jennifer R. Young,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Women Who Love Psychopaths as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

I have worked my whole career of 30+ years with narcissists, anti-socials, psychopaths and the women and children who loved them. The first edition of this book (2008) began exploring these relationships of inevitable harm as the book s first edition was the FIRST book to ever look at these relationships, the women, and their trauma. Since then, the field is exploding with the recognition of these dangerous and traumatizing pathological love relationships. Survivor books of My Life with a Narcissist/Psychopath fill book shelves giving a traumatizing view of the ordeal, but little understanding of: the survivor's trauma behind the…


5 book lists we think you will like!

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