Fans pick 100 books like The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

By Leslie Vernick,

Here are 100 books that The Emotionally Destructive Marriage fans have personally recommended if you like The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Healey E. Ikerd Author Of Changing Your Feelings: A Workbook for Anxiety and Worry from a Christian Perspective

From my list on Christians determined to be more mentally healthy.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed therapist who has been in the mental health field for over 15 years. I believe that God wants his followers to be mentally healthy! We are better witnesses to Him when we think and act in ways that reflect biblical principles. This is why I am a big fan of books that help me think and act more wisely and that also helps me follow God more deeply. Working through our mental ‘stuff’ and following God well are greatly intertwined. Whether in person or by recommending books, I love to be a part of that process with people.

Healey's book list on Christians determined to be more mentally healthy

Healey E. Ikerd Why did Healey love this book?

I have read this book so many times. It is a classic! For those of us who have struggled with saying yes to everything, I was so thankful that I found this book. 

A heart of compassion and care can set you up for burnout, resentment, and going in directions that God doesn’t want you to go. The authors are brilliant, and they help Christians learn that it is okay to say No and that is actually good for us and others. Saying No when appropriate is a sign of good mental health.

By Henry Cloud, John Townsend,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Boundaries as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, coworkers, and even themselves, in order to live life to the fullest.

Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.

Boundaries, a…


Book cover of Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind

Renee Smith Ettline Author Of Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

From my list on Christian books on healing from divorce.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards. 

Renee's book list on Christian books on healing from divorce

Renee Smith Ettline Why did Renee love this book?

There’s a reason this book has sold over 1 million copies. All of us, divorced or not, benefit when we learn how to recognize damaging thoughts and keep them from coloring our lives. This is especially true when dealing with the negative and haunting thoughts that can come with divorce.

Your thoughts can determine whether you grieve forever or find a new life full of peace and joy. Like Chapter 6 in my book, Peace after Divorce, this book embraces the concept of Proverbs 23:7; “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Learning to win the battles in your mind represents one component of healing from divorce.

By Joyce Meyer,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Battlefield of the Mind as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Our actions are a direct result of our thoughts. If we have a negative mind, we will have a negative life. If, on the other hand, we renew our mind according to God's Word, we will prove out "the good and acceptable and perfect will of God" for our lives.' Worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger and feelings of condemnation - all these are attacks on the mind. But take heart! Joyce Meyer has helped millions to change their lives by changing the way they think. Joyce Meyer's all-time bestselling book: * Shows you how to control the thousands of thoughts…


Book cover of Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

Renee Smith Ettline Author Of Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

From my list on Christian books on healing from divorce.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards. 

Renee's book list on Christian books on healing from divorce

Renee Smith Ettline Why did Renee love this book?

I often see people who believe they need someone else to make them whole. This is especially true when someone has been emotionally or spiritually abused. Emotional abuse is when someone consistently belittles and dominates you dismissing your value and making you feel less than. In addition to addressing emotional abuse, Don’t Call it Love also delves into the issues of spiritual abuse, something I have seen all too often in my ministry. It’s a travesty when your mate distorts scripture to manipulate and control you or to make you feel less than. If you have experienced emotional or spiritual abuse this book can help you understand your true value in the eyes of God and give you insight into how to avoid continuing to land in abusive relationships.

By Gregory L. Jantz, Tim Clinton, Ann McMurray

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Don't Call It Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"You complete me" may be a romantic line in a popular movie, but it's not a healthy basis for a real relationship. Unfortunately, many people are drawn into relationships that are unfulfilling precisely because they are looking to other people to fill in the places where they are lacking--they are looking for a person who will "complete" them. At the heart of relationship dependency is a person's belief that he or she alone is not enough. But using others to provide wholeness simply does not work, because while we are made to be relationship dependent, it is God we must…


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Book cover of All They Need to Know

All They Need to Know By Eileen Goudge,

On the run from her abusive husband, Kyra Smith hits the road. Destination unknown. With a dog she rescued in tow, she lands in the peaceful California mountain town of Gold Creek and is immediately befriended by an openhearted group of women who call themselves the Tattooed Ladies. They’re there…

Book cover of The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

Renee Smith Ettline Author Of Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

From my list on Christian books on healing from divorce.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards. 

Renee's book list on Christian books on healing from divorce

Renee Smith Ettline Why did Renee love this book?

If you have children, this book is a great follow-up to the parenting section of my book Peace after Divorce. Based on his professional experience as a therapist and researcher Dr. Emery shares important steps you can take to see that your children become well-adjusted and thrive. I’m impressed with the depth of his insights and feel that parents who read this book will be better able to navigate the tricky pitfalls of parenting through and after divorce. Stories of families illustrate his points and make this book an interesting read as well as a rich resource for those who want to minimize the negative impact of divorce on their children. This is the only book on my list not from a Christian perspective but it is good for parents.

By Robert E. Emery,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Truth about Children and Divorce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Nationally recognized expert Robert Emery applies his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce—and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic—divorce is invariably painful, but parents can help promote their children’s resilience. With compassion and authority, Dr. Emery explains:

• Why it is so hard to really make divorce work
• How anger and fighting can keep people from really separating
•…


Book cover of God, the Devil, and Divorce: A Transformative Journey out of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

Divorce is a devastating experience, especially where ending a marriage is viewed as a separation, not only from your spouse, but from your church as well. In God, the Devil and Divorce, Linda M. Kurth shares her personal divorce journey in spite of the opposition of her community of faith to escape the pain of an abusive marriage. She emerges triumphantly as a trailblazer for Christian women enduring spousal abuse, offering hope and reassuring them that life goes on—and happily. 

By Linda M. Kurth,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked God, the Devil, and Divorce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

God, The Devil, and Divorce tells the story of a Christian woman's marriage and divorce recovery from her "crazymaking" spouse; and how she learned to trust God along the way.

How could Linda Moore Kurth's marriage that once seemed so right become so wrong? Put-downs, shaming, and distancing grow into habitual emotional abuse. Counseling provides glimmers of hope, only for that hope to fade. She is shocked when her latest Christian counselor tells her, "If you divorce, Satan wins."

Linda receives a dichotomy of reactions from other Christians for her ultimate decision to leave her marriage. Betrayal and heartache bring…


Book cover of The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Brittany Coburn Author Of Pray Together: A 6 Week Couples Prayer Guide

From my list on how to build a strong Christian relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a Christian author who loves to see when relationships, rooted in Christ, succeed. I have been married for 13 years and during that time we have had ups and downs and have found that our relationship would have never succeeded if it wasn’t for Christ and being grounded in his truths. I have sought out ways to cultivate healthy a marriage and often find myself studying and reading on how to best have our relationship reflect Christ and his love for the church. 

Brittany's book list on how to build a strong Christian relationship

Brittany Coburn Why did Brittany love this book?

The Meaning of Marriage was released shortly after my husband and I got married.

As newlyweds, it shaped how we viewed our marriage from a Christian perspective. It helped us to put Christ at the center and love each other as Christ loved the church. As many also experience, the first years of marriage contained many challenges.

Reading The Meaning of Marriage helped us to walk through difficult without losing our focus on why we were married in the first place. 

By Timothy Keller, Kathy Keller,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked The Meaning of Marriage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"Incredibly rich with wisdom and insight that will leave the reader, whether single or married, feeling uplifted." -The Washington Times

Based on the acclaimed sermon series by New York Times bestselling author Timothy Keller, this book shows everyone-Christians, skeptics, singles, longtime married couples, and those about to be engaged-the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible.

Modern culture would have you believe that everyone has a soul mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but…


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Book cover of Kanazawa

Kanazawa By David Joiner,

Emmitt’s plans collapse when his wife, Mirai, suddenly backs out of purchasing their dream home. Disappointed, he’s surprised to discover her subtle pursuit of a life and career in Tokyo.

In his search for a meaningful life in Japan, and after quitting his job, he finds himself helping his mother-in-law…

Book cover of The Mystery of Marriage: Meditations on the Miracle

Dorothy Littell Greco Author Of Making Marriage Beautiful: Lifelong Love, Joy, and Intimacy Start with You

From my list on create and sustain a healthy marriage and sex life.

Why am I passionate about this?

For most of my 31 years of marriage, my husband and I have walked alongside couples who are preparing for marriage, in the throes of marriage, or trying to salvage their marriage. We get why it’s challenging and absolutely believe that there is hope and healing in the context of marriage for everyone. I’ve written two books on the topic and am passionate about helping couples find the resources they need to grow and strengthen their marriage covenants. Marriage books tend to be a bit shallow and offer quick fixes. We need honest, practical, wise resources if we want to grow. 

Dorothy's book list on create and sustain a healthy marriage and sex life

Dorothy Littell Greco Why did Dorothy love this book?

Hands down, this is my favorite marriage book and the one I go to again and again for insight and encouragement. I've probably read it five times! Mason's book is not a how-to, but rather a why-to. It's deep, mysterious, and challenging. Just like marriage. Mason writes for those who are on a faith journey.  

By Mike Mason,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Mystery of Marriage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Meditate on the Spiritual Significance of Marriage

In the 20th Anniversary Edition of this Gold Medallion Award winner, Mike Mason goes on a poetic search to understand the wondrous dynamics of committed love. In highly readable, first-person style, Mason’s writing stimulates readers’ thoughts and prayers and propels couples to deeper intimacy. “A marriage is not a joining of two worlds,” says the author, “but an abandoning of two worlds in order that one new one might be formed.” Rich chapters on “Otherness,” “Vows,” “Intimacy,” “Sex,” “Submission,” and an all-new chapter on “Oneness” lift readers to view the eternal, spiritual nature…


Book cover of Married Life in the Middle Ages, 900-1300

David Bates Author Of William the Conqueror

From my list on exploring important aspects of Medieval History.

Why am I passionate about this?

I became fascinated by the history of the period from 900 to 1250 as an undergraduate at the University of Exeter where I was supervised for a doctorate by Professor Frank Barlow. The subject of my thesis was Odo, bishop of Bayeux (1049/50-1097), a biography that introduced me to a multitude of subjects. That time stimulated a fascination with France and with the place of English history, British history, and the history of the Normans in a European context, as well as an interest in biography and individual lives.

David's book list on exploring important aspects of Medieval History

David Bates Why did David love this book?

A marvellous book that explores the experience for men and women of being married during the Christian Middle Ages. It presents us with an analysis of individual lives and is a social history, a gender history, an emotional history, a sexual history, and much else besides. Among the many subjects treated are female agency within marriage, the extent to which it was possible to choose a married partner, and the history and personal experience of married clergy when such marriages were forbidden. 

By Elisabeth Van Houts,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Married Life in the Middle Ages, 900-1300 as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Married Life in the Middle Ages, 900-1300 contains an analysis of the experience of married life by men and women in Christian medieval Europe, c. 900-1300. The study focusses on the social and emotional life of the married couple rather than on the institutional history of marriage, breaking it into three parts: Getting Married - the process of getting married and wedding celebrations; Married Life - the married life of lay couples and clergy,
their sexuality, and any remarriage; and Alternative Living - which explores concubinage and polygyny, as well as the single life in contrast to monogamous sexual unions.…


Book cover of Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity

Linda J. MacDonald Author Of How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful

From my list on to help you recover from an affair.

Why am I passionate about this?

I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.

Linda's book list on to help you recover from an affair

Linda J. MacDonald Why did Linda love this book?

I found Gary and Mona Shriver’s true story a captivating read. They share their personal journeys of weathering and surviving Gary’s extramarital affair. Couples suffering from the impact of infidelity often feel isolated and alone. It helps to read a realistic yet successful story about a marriage similarly impacted by the trauma of infidelity. They are Christians and so this book is especially helpful for believers. I often recommend this book to both partners. I have found that faithful spouses really appreciate the book and hope their partners will grow to better understand their pain as a result of reading it.

By Gary Shriver, Mona Shriver,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Unfaithful as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This book was revised in 2009 and is now titled Unfaithful: Hope and Healing after Infidelity. The new version has significantly more information and addresses emotional affairs.


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Book cover of Henderson House

Henderson House By Caren Simpson McVicker,

In May 1941, Bartlesville, Oklahoma, hums with talk of spring flowers, fishing derbies, and the growing war in Europe. And for the residents of a quiet neighborhood boarding house, the winds of change are blowing.

Self-proclaimed spinster, Bessie Blackwell, is the reluctant owner of a new pair of glasses. The…

Book cover of Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman

Jay Payleitner Author Of 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

From my list on for husbands to get less nagging and more nookie.

Why am I passionate about this?

After a decade writing advertising for airlines and beer, I found myself working as a freelance radio producer for thousands of radio broadcasts for Chuck Colson, Josh McDowell, Fathers.com, Heritage Foundation, and Voice of the Martyrs. Later, I reinvented myself as a national speaker and best-selling author of 25+ books including 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, Don’t Take the Bait to Escalate, and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? with sales approaching one million copies. My wife Rita and I live near Chicago, where we raised five awesome kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.

Jay's book list on for husbands to get less nagging and more nookie

Jay Payleitner Why did Jay love this book?

This book will have you building toward a brighter future as a couple based on biblical principles. The author challenges conventional wisdom in some churches such as the belief that a man is "master" over his wife. While scripture does say, "wives, submit to your husband,” there’s much more to that idea. The verse goes on to say, "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church." This means a husband should sacrifice himself completely to his bride, putting her needs before his own, living for a higher purpose, and eventually submitting his very life to her.

Be prepared to do some self-examination. And expect honest commentary on "taboo" subjects such as sex, pornography, and gender stereotypes.

By Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Every Man's Marriage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What every man wishes he knew about what his wife desires most.

Authors Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker believe that every man can meet the secret desires of his wife. The problem is, most of us aren't exactly sure what that desire is and how we can go about fulfilling it faithfully.

In Every Man's Marriage, you can discover the common misconceptions about what it means to exercise biblical authority and understand the role of submission in the marriage relationship. This groundbreaking book can help men grasp and apply essential but often overlooked principles for marital leadership.

Through candid reflections…


Book cover of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Book cover of Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind
Book cover of Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

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