Here are 100 books that The Intimacy Factor fans have personally recommended if you like
The Intimacy Factor.
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When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed—shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.
I love this book as the author, Jonice Webb, describes childhood neglect in depth. When I teach clients that neglect is a form of childhood trauma, difficult to detect, like carbon monoxide, I see light bulbs go off in their heads.
Webb describes in detail the 12 different types of childhood neglect that have a devasting impact on their lives today and how to heal them.
This informative guide helps you identify and heal from childhood emotional neglect so you can be more connected and emotionally present in your life.
Do you sometimes feel like you're just going through the motions in life? Do you often act like you're fine when you secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a good life and yet somehow it's not enough to make you happy. Or perhaps you drink too much, eat too much, or risk too much in an attempt to feel something good. If so, you are not alone-and you may be suffering from emotional neglect.…
When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed—shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.
I love this book because when I work with clients about their childhood developmental trauma, many times, they interpret being close to a parent as special and flourishing when they were growing up. Little do they know even though it may feel good to be a close friend or partner to a parent, I see them being used by the parent for emotional support and not being able to have their own life.
I like how Adams describes in depth why this is considered trauma and its impact today.
When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy-even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries-usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction-because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs…
When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed—shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.
I love this workbook because it is straightforward in defining childhood developmental trauma. It explains the Autonomic Nervous System and how trauma stays stuck in the body today. I use diagrams and simple worksheets to explain why my clients feel the way they do.
I like that it explains that trauma is not just working out through the brain but includes the body, most importantly. I also believe that true healing from trauma has to include somatic body-based work, which this workbook explains.
Traumatic experiences leave a “living legacy” of effects that often persist for years and decades after the events are over. Historically, it has always been assumed that re-telling the story of what happened would resolve these effects.
However, survivors report a different experience: Telling and re-telling the story of what happened to them often reactivates their trauma responses, overwhelming them rather than resolving the trauma. To transform traumatic experiences, survivors need to understand their symptoms and reactions as normal responses to abnormal events. They need ways to work with the symptoms that intrude on their daily activities, preventing a life…
When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed—shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.
I love this book as it helps explain to my female clients the shame they feel about mothering their children. I love that she describes in detail the vicious cycle from generation to generation that adult daughters can break through by understanding the lack of nurturance, protection, and guidance that was missing.
I like that this book gives tools and interventions to correct and heal their parenting and foster genuine emotional relationships.
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships.
Does this sound painfully familiar?
Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop.
Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with…
I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards.
I often see people who believe they need someone else to make them whole. This is especially true when someone has been emotionally or spiritually abused. Emotional abuse is when someone consistently belittles and dominates you dismissing your value and making you feel less than. In addition to addressing emotional abuse, Don’t Call it Love also delves into the issues of spiritual abuse, something I have seen all too often in my ministry. It’s a travesty when your mate distorts scripture to manipulate and control you or to make you feel less than. If you have experienced emotional or spiritual abuse this book can help you understand your true value in the eyes of God and give you insight into how to avoid continuing to land in abusive relationships.
"You complete me" may be a romantic line in a popular movie, but it's not a healthy basis for a real relationship. Unfortunately, many people are drawn into relationships that are unfulfilling precisely because they are looking to other people to fill in the places where they are lacking--they are looking for a person who will "complete" them. At the heart of relationship dependency is a person's belief that he or she alone is not enough. But using others to provide wholeness simply does not work, because while we are made to be relationship dependent, it is God we must…
Back in 1977 the experiences and concerns of police families were invisible. Police officers were regarded as super-humans, unaffected by their day-to-day exposure to tragedy, cruelty, and stress. In my counseling job, I heard very different stories from their spouses. Ever since, it has been my mission to support police families and find ways to keep the job from damaging family life. It has taken more than two decades, but I am pleased and proud to say police families are no longer invisible. The books I picked are proof that the family behind the badge matters as much as the person wearing it.
It is not easy to write a self-help book without sounding pompous or unrealistic. This is why The Dance of Intimacy became a model for my own self-help books.
Lerner’s writing is straightforward, personal, and practical. She is, as am I, an unabashed feminist who understands that strengthening and/or healing relationships require the participation of both partners. First published in 2009 I have recommended this wise book to hundreds of clients.
In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
My obsession with decision-making books began in elementary school, when I read tons of Choose Your Own Adventure books. When I realized they wouldn’t prepare me for life (turns out, dragons are rare), I began reading others. I got an MBA at Stanford, where I took a class taught by labor economist Myra Strober that changed my life by helping me navigate the money and love decisions I encountered while climbing the corporate ladder at Gap Inc. and raising two young kids with my husband. My former professor and I wrote Money and Loveto empower more people to live more intentional lives and feel more confident about their big life decisions.
Dual-career couples are on the rise – chances are, if you plan on having a long-term relationship or even getting married at some point, you will have to navigate this two-person high-wire act. Jennifer Petriglieri offers a useful take on the three big questions all couples need to grapple with over time for their careers and relationship to flourish jointly: How can we make this work? (handling the logistics of combining two busy lives and often raising young kids); What do we really want? (navigating the inevitable questions that arise in mid-life); and Who are we know? (once our identities and bodies are much changed from the ones that first attracted our partners). I loved the data, stories, and exercises in this book, and have applied them to my own life.
Every couple wants a happy relationship and a meaningful career but how do we balance both?
In Couples that Work, Professor Jennifer Petriglieri shifts away from the language of sacrifice and trade-offs and focuses on how couples can successfully tackle the challenges they will face throughout their lives--together. The book explores key questions like:
- Can you and your partner have equally important careers or must you prioritise one over the other? - How can you juggle children or family commitments without sacrificing your work? - Does every decision require compromise or can you find solutions that benefit you both?…
Keiko Kasza is an award-winning author/illustrator of picture books. Though she uses animals as her book characters, the subjects are always related to issues that young children face. Humor and a surprise ending are the signatures of her work.
I always admire Jeffers’s work – it is ever creative and original. The Hueys are arguing when Gillespie comes by. He asks them, “What are you fighting about?” This stumps them. They don’t remember. Then comes Gillespie’s last line, which blows your mind. The ending couldn't be more perfect.
What's all the arguing about? There are plenty of Hueys to go around in this hilarious story from the #1 bestselling illustrator of The Day the Crayons Quit!
The Hueys are back! Oliver Jeffers' jelly bean-shaped creatures may look the same, think the same, and even do the same things, but that doesn’t mean they always agree. The only problem is, they can’t seem to agree on what they disagreed on in the first place! Which ultimately leads to an even bigger disagreement! Confused? Well, so are the Hueys. Which only adds to the fun and hilarity.
I’m an author and a romantic. Put the two together and it makes sense for me to write love stories. I’ve always been interested in relationships and fascinated by how complex our feelings make us when we fall in love. There’s a love story in all my books, but for the last three novels, a love story has been thestory. I’m a Londoner too, and I like it when a city becomes another character in a book, as I hope London has in The Central Line.
This is a slow-burn of a novel about two couples. Each character struggles to maintain their marriage under the pressure of children and modern life. Each tries to hold on to their own identity while existing inside a family. The novel looks at mental health, infidelity, cooking, and Black culture; it has a soundtrack, with songs that mean something to the characters and capture the essence of the time. The story is resonant with images of modern London. It asks a question about the centrality of the city and the anxiety that comes from leaving it.
Hailed as a "lyrical and glorious writer; a precise poet of the human heart" (Naomi Alderman), London-based author Diana Evans received international acclaim for Ordinary People. In a crooked house in South London, Melissa feels increasingly that she's defined solely by motherhood, while Michael mourns the thrill of their romance. In the suburbs, Stephanie's aspirations for bliss on the commuter belt compound Damian's itch for a bigger life. Longtime friends from the years when passion seemed permanent, the couples have stayed in touch, gathering for births and anniversaries. But as bonds fray, the lines once clearly marked by wedding bands…
Like all of you reading this, I am an infinite multi-dimensional being of incredible beauty and light with my own unique connection to Source! The answer to the question ‘who am I?’ (for anyone) is not to be found in all the constructs of identity we get encouraged to build, covering our brightness with ego and opinion and beliefs and values and supposed fragility where we are not in fact fragile at all. My book subject choice for this list, though, is all about our first steps into that weird and wonderful world of ‘relationships,’ fuelled by exploding hormones, romantic dreams, social programming and, somewhere underneath (underneath the inadequacy), a perfect connection with other.
Kind of to the other extreme now, and a focus on where the hormones and desires of three teen boys will lead them. Funny, painful, and unashamed, this story of sexual desire and clumsily finding a path where things often seem out of control is excellent. I thought of it when I was watching the hilarious Netflix series Sex Education recently.
Yet underneath the whole nightmare of where your private parts might lead you (especially if you are a boy) the questions are still there. How to be ‘true.’ How to ignore the judgment of others. How to hear clearly what we really desire.
Without getting those things right, relationships are always going to be trouble!
I was lucky enough to meet Melvyn on a book tour years ago. His teen fiction is always beautifully ‘in your face.’
A much heralded, compelling sex story for teenage boys from this provocative writer. Melvin promised us all a 'knobby book for boys' during the astonishing publicity for Lady, his book that stripped all the sensibilities about sex from books for teenagers. This is it. Three teenage boys have a healthy interest in sex: Dino's girlfriend won't commit; Jonathon's biggest fan is very keen; and Ben gets embroiled with a predatory teacher. Put all these ingredients into an unsupervised teenage party, and allow to steam gently!
