The best books for making big life decisions that involve money and love

This landmark book (and mega bestseller) provides an important foundation for the other books that follow. It explains the two systems that govern our thinking: System 1 (quick, emotional, intuitive) and System 2 (slower, more logical, more methodical). This book will help you understand when and how to trust your gut and conversely, when and how to over-ride your quick-decision impulse and engage in slow thinking. It’s written in an engaging and thoughtful way – even though the author won the Nobel Prize in Economics, reading it doesn’t feel like doing homework.

I love books about trends that make predictions, and Gratton and Scott’s book lays out very compelling evidence about how the increase in life expectancy will – and should – change the way we live. First, they lay out why the three stage model of life (education, work, retirement) doesn’t work as we live longer. Then, they draw on their complementary backgrounds in psychology and economics to tell us what we should do instead. From how to handle our money, to how to think about our careers and relationships, this book offers a recipe for making our extra years fulfilling and meaningful.

Dual-career couples are on the rise – chances are, if you plan on having a long-term relationship or even getting married at some point, you will have to navigate this two-person high-wire act. Jennifer Petriglieri offers a useful take on the three big questions all couples need to grapple with over time for their careers and relationship to flourish jointly: How can we make this work? (handling the logistics of combining two busy lives and often raising young kids); What do we really want? (navigating the inevitable questions that arise in mid-life); and Who are we know? (once our identities and bodies are much changed from the ones that first attracted our partners). I loved the data, stories, and exercises in this book, and have applied them to my own life. 

In addition to navigating high-level questions with our partners, we also must complete zillions of daily tasks that make up life, especially if you’re raising small humans together. Enter Fair Play, which is a system to help make the division of household tasks more equitable. Rodsky has identified rules – and 100 tasks – that need to be divided between two members in order for domestic chores to get done without resentment and stress. Even though my husband and I have worked hard at establishing a division of labor that felt ok to us, I still learned a lot through this book, and we found Rodsky’s method to be helpful for us as we’ve navigated different seasons in life. And now there are even a set of cards you can get on the book’s website and use as you deal and “redeal” tasks over time.

This is the handbook to working parenthood that I wish someone had handed me when I accepted a new job at 38 weeks pregnant with my first child. Dowling offers plenty of wisdom in this book – from how to manage the transitions that come with working parenthood (going on and returning from parental leave, changing jobs, welcoming a second child) to how to set up your daily routine for success. But what I really appreciate is how tactical this book is. Working parenthood – especially the early years – is a full-contact sport. You want someone to cut to the chase and just give you the user manual. This is it.