The most recommended self-control books

Who picked these books? Meet our 28 experts.

28 authors created a book list connected to self-control, and here are their favorite self-control books.
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Book cover of The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness

Jude Sclater Author Of Think Like a Coach: Empower your team through everyday conversations

From my list on managers who want to empower their teams.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a practical, straight-talking New Zealander who has lived in the UK since 2007. I’ve coached managers for over a decade, and one thing they all have in common is that they want to develop and empower their teams. What I love the most about my work is seeing the ‘aha’ moments unfold when they work out a path that is right for them. I’ve chosen these books for the ‘aha’ moments they sparked in me, and I hope they do the same for you.

Jude's book list on managers who want to empower their teams

Jude Sclater Why did Jude love this book?

I love this book because it taught me emotional self-control. One of the things I really disliked about myself was how stressed I’d get and then take it out on my team. I’d always apologize, but I think they were often afraid of me and not sure which Jude they’d get. Peters’ Chimp model helped me to understand why this was happening and what to do about it.

I learned to nurture my ‘chimp’ brain more, notice when I was talking to other ‘chimps,’ know how to calm them, and most of all, manage my stress better. I often explain this model to the managers I coach to help them embrace their emotions as a way of managing them.

By Steve Peters,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Chimp Paradox as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Do you sometimes behave irrationally or impulsively? Do you face some situations with fear and trepidation? Do feelings of self-doubt consume everyday activities?

Leading Consultant Psychiatrist, Prof Steve Peters, knows more than anyone how impulsive behaviour or nagging self-doubt can impact negatively on our professional and personal lives.

In this, his first book, Steve shares his phenomenally successful mind management programme that has been used to help elite athletes and senior managers alike to conquer their fears and operate with greater control, focus and confidence.

Seemingly complex concepts are made simple with the use of memorable analogies -- such as…


Book cover of Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence

Devora Zack Author Of Singletasking: Get More Done one Thing at a Time

From my list on to singletask what matters most.

Why am I passionate about this?

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” - Goethe. As Singletasking notes, we’ve become relentlessly disrespectful of the people and experiences right in front of us. Reversing this is a mission of mine. Nothing seems more important than redirecting our lifelong attention to what matters most. As an international author and speaker about both Singletasking and personality styles, I’m convinced paying attention to and honoring each other is the key to a meaningful life and deep relationships.

Devora's book list on to singletask what matters most

Devora Zack Why did Devora love this book?

The subtitle of Focus is The Hidden Driver of Excellence, yet this driver is arguably hidden no more upon the book’s release. As a journalist, psychologist, and top-notch researcher, Goleman is uniquely qualified to delve into the ‘science of attention.’ Plus, he has accumulated plenty of street cred from the various iterations of his Emotional Intelligence canon. 

Goleman compares attention to a muscle; requiring regular use to build it up. I couldn’t agree more. This premise is supported by myriad examples, accompanied by useful techniques for application in all aspects of life.

By Daniel Goleman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Focus as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

For more than two decades, psychologist and journalist Daniel Goleman has been scouting the leading edge of the human sciences for what's new, surprising, and important. In Focus, he delves into the science of attention in all its varieties, presenting a long overdue discussion of this little-noticed and under-rated mental asset that matters enormously for how we navigate life. Goleman boils down attention research into a three parts: inner, other, and outer focus. Goleman shows why high-achievers need all three kinds of focus, as demonstrated by rich case studies from fields as diverse as competitive sports, education, the arts, and…


Book cover of Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

Stephanie Lincoln Author Of Born to be Brave: My 56 hour battle for my life in the Olympic National Forest

From my list on badass people who overcame crazy odds.

Why am I passionate about this?

Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with people’s stories. I think this came from my grandfather, who, whether we liked it or not, would gather his grandkids in his study and wax poetically about his life. He was a writer and a teacher, so he knew how to spin a tale and keep even the most inattentive grandchildren captivated. I have for many years referred to myself as a “memoir junkie,” consuming life after life like a starving drifter. Memoirs are a great way to continue to remind ourselves that life is guaranteed to provide us with struggle, but we are equipped to overcome it. We must endure, explore, and prevail. 

Stephanie's book list on badass people who overcame crazy odds

Stephanie Lincoln Why did Stephanie love this book?

If you want a FIRE lit under your ass, read this book!

I love this book so much and have reread this one a couple of times because of the sheer injection of motivation I get straight into my veins when I read it. What I love about this first memoir from David is his brutal honesty about his childhood and his subsequent journey to become “the baddest motherfucker on the planet.”

This guy is the quintessential story of polishing a terd long enough, you will get a diamond. Whenever I am feeling sorry for myself, my mind goes back to this book. I think, “If David can do it, I can too. This is nothing compared to the odds he faced, and look at him now!” 

By David Goggins,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Can't Hurt Me as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

New York Times Best Seller

Over 4 million copies sold

For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare -- poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a U.S. Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events, inspiring Outside magazine to name…


Book cover of I Really Want the Cake

Lisa Wheeler Author Of People Don't Bite People

From my list on picture books that are even better read aloud.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm an award-winning children's book author who loves everything about kid's books--including the smell! With over 50 books on bookstore shelves-- which have been read aloud hundreds of times all over the world-- I feel that I've become an expert on the subject.

Lisa's book list on picture books that are even better read aloud

Lisa Wheeler Why did Lisa love this book?

When our heroine and her little dog spy a spectacular cake just sitting alone on the kitchen table, it's on! The note attached from Mom says "You must not eat the cake." But what's a kid to do? She tries lots of activities to help her forget about cake but will temptation win out? This book is fun, funny, and well written. I love the drama of the situation and the art (by Lucia Gaggioti) is spot on. Fun to read dramatically aloud to both kids and adults. (Pair it with a reading of Green Eggs and Ham!)

By Simon Philip, Lucia Gaggiotti (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Really Want the Cake as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 3, 4, and 5.

What is this book about?

There's a smell I can't ignore.
It's wafting through the kitchen door.
It's time for me to find out more.
I think it might be cake.

How do you resist the most amazing cake ever? Especially when your mum has left a note saying that you MUST NOT eat the cake?

This wonderful rhyming text from Simon Philip, author of You Must Bring a Hat, is illustrated with huge energy and humour by Lucia Gaggiotti.


Book cover of Find Your Red Thread: Make Your Big Ideas Irresistible

Michelle A. Mazur Author Of 3 Word Rebellion: Create a One-of-a-Kind Message that Grows Your Business into a Movement

From my list on creating a standout message for your marketing & sales.

Why am I passionate about this?

Michelle Mazur is a messaging expert who works with brilliant business owners who are shaking things up but having trouble talking about it. She combines the tools of successful social movements with the qualitative research skills she earned in her Communication Ph.D. to help them craft their powerful, captivating message. She lives in Seattle, WA with her adoring husband, three obsessive felines, and a huge collection of Duran Duran memorabilia. 

Michelle's book list on creating a standout message for your marketing & sales

Michelle A. Mazur Why did Michelle love this book?

Most business owners have a difficult time translating their ideas into words. Without the right words, it’s impossible to get buy-in for your big ideas. The Red Thread is a simple method to make a compelling argument for why your idea matters and why people should care. If you’re looking to get clarity around an idea and make it irresistible for others, this book is a great place to start.

By Tamsen Webster,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Find Your Red Thread as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Make your idea irresistible.

You have a terrific idea. It’s so powerful that it could change a life, a market, or even the world. There’s just one problem: others don’t see its power—yet. If you truly value the possibility of your idea, then you’re ready to find your Red Thread—the throughline that connects your idea to your audience’s hearts and minds.

The best part is, the Red Thread already exists. It’s the connection that makes the invisible link between your audience’s problem and your solution tangible—and actionable. With the Red Thread, you’ll inspire audiences to act and get the outcome…


Book cover of Elena Rides

Elizabeth Verdick Author Of Bike & Trike

From my list on bikes and biking for kids.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a Minnesota-based children’s writer focusing on a mix of books for kids ages baby to teen. I love writing stories as well as nonfiction books focused on Social-Emotional Learning (SEL). After more than 25 years spent writing for a young audience, I started thinking about how I may be old but don’t necessarily feel old. An image came to mind: a rusty, dusty old tricycle. How might “Trike” feel if a happy, snappy new bike were to appear in the garage? Bike & Trike is the story that arose, one about old vs. new and a daring challenge to determine which bike will be the winner on wheels.

Elizabeth's book list on bikes and biking for kids

Elizabeth Verdick Why did Elizabeth love this book?

Elena may be a big, bright purple elephant, but she’s determined to ride her bike successfully.

She’s got a bright red bird friend to cheer her on and loads of resilience to get her through every wobble, bobble, and fall. Simple language and onomatopoeia make this story a great read-aloud, perfect for early readers and riders. 

By Juana Medina,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Elena Rides as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

Beginning readers—and beginning riders—will be drawn to this bright, buoyant story of a determined elephant and her loyal sidekick, from the award-winning creator of Juana & Lucas.

Elena wants to ride her bike. She steadies, she readies. She wobbles, she bobbles . . . KA-BANG! Learning to ride a bike is hard. But Elena can do it. She just has to try, try again. With this reassuring story of childlike persistence, Juana Medina, creator of the acclaimed Juana & Lucas series, introduces Elena, a plucky elephant, and the little red bird who is Elena’s faithful cheerleader. Simple, energetic text and…


Book cover of Social Skills for Kids: From Making Friends and Problem-Solving to Self-Control and Communication

Joni Hilton Author Of Family Funbook

From my list on family activity books.

Why am I passionate about this?

I love playing with my kids. When my eldest was eight and we were sitting on the porch together he said, “On my last day of being playful, I want to play with you the whole day. I sure hope it’s on a Saturday.” My kids know that I turn most things into a game, that I’ll screech and stop for a tarantula on the road because it’s educational, that I'll get them to sing their quiz answers, and that I’ll sculpt a cake into almost anything for a school project. I believe learning should be fun, so we would drink lemonade out of measuring cups, guess how many hops from the bed to the closet, and have Whipped Cream Spray Wars every summer (outside, thank you). I also think families would spend more time together if they had a great collection of cool—and easy—stuff to do together. As a writer I’m creative, and never run out of fun ideas. Why not share them with the world?

Joni's book list on family activity books

Joni Hilton Why did Joni love this book?

Even tiny kids get glued to their game screens, without being connected to the internet yet. And older kids are even more addicted. We've all heard how dependent kids are on "likes" and how depressed they get if their life doesn't compare with what they see online. This means we have an entire generation of kids who spend waaay too much time on the computer. They haven't developed as many social skills as they're going to need. And this book addresses it. Children will feel more confident at school and in any social setting. I'd love to see manners and etiquette lessons come back-- here's a start!

By Keri K. Powers,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Social Skills for Kids as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Help your children develop essential social skills-including groups, one-on-one interactions, and virtual communication-with these 150 easy, fun activities to teach your kids how to socially succeed.

From taking turns to making eye contact to staying engaged during conversations, developing appropriate social skills is an important factor for kids to be able to succeed in school and life in general. But how can you tell if your child is really making progress while you read the same stories, have the same conversations, and chaperone the same playdates? The answer is to add some variety to your child's daily activities with these…


Book cover of Good Different

Ona Gritz Author Of The Space You Left Behind

From my list on middle grade and YA books by disabled authors.

Why am I passionate about this?

“Everyone’s got something,” my mom used to say about my cerebral palsy. I knew kids who wore glasses or had mouthfuls of metal, but those somethings seemed normal compared to my leg brace, my limp, and my inability to run. When Judy Blume’s Deenie came out on my eleventh birthday, it was the very gift I needed: the story of a girl, a diagnosis, a brace. Reading it, I felt seen and understood, which led me to believe I might have a story to tell. Now, I’m thrilled to share these books by disabled authors about disabled kids leading authentic, relatable lives. I had Deenie. Today’s lucky young readers have these.

Ona's book list on middle grade and YA books by disabled authors

Ona Gritz Why did Ona love this book?

Being a poet, I love verse novels, and this one grows richer every time I read it. Seventh-grader Selah works hard to follow rigid, self-imposed rules so she’ll be seen as a “normal” girl in school, someone who doesn’t get overwhelmed by crowds or noise or jump from unexpected touch as though she’s been shocked.

What’s amazing about Selah is that, when keeping to those rules proves impossible and she gets in trouble, she trusts herself. With a few clues, she comes to understand she’s on the autism spectrum and finds simple tools that make a big difference.

She also starts expressing herself by writing poems. It moves me so much that poetry is represented here as a source of strength and that being unique is recognized as an asset.  

By Meg Eden Kuyatt,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Good Different as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 8, 9, 10, and 11.

What is this book about?

A debut novel-in-verse about understanding and celebrating
your own difference.
Selah knows her rules for being normal.

This means keeping her feelings locked tightly inside, despite
the way they build up inside her as each school day goes on, so
that she has to run to the bathroom and hide in the stall until she
can calm down. Selah feels like a dragon stuck in a world of humans,
but she knows how to hide it.

Until the day she explodes and hits a fellow student.

As her comfortable, familiar world crumbles around her, Selah
starts to figure out more…


Book cover of White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession, and the Psychology of Mental Control

Bruce M. Hood Author Of SuperSense: Why We Believe in the Unbelievable

From my list on magical thinking and superstition.

Why am I passionate about this?

When I was a child, I was fascinated by the supernatural and wanted to believe in the paranormal. On reaching university, I discovered there was no reliable evidence for such phenomena but rather there was a much more satisfying explanation based on the weaknesses and wishes of human psychology. Development is critical to human psychology and as I specialized in children’s thinking, I found more reasons to understand the natural origins of the peculiarities of our reasoning. SuperSense was my first popular science book to expound my ideas, but all of my subsequent books apply similar novel ways of explaining human behaviour from surprising perspectives. 

Bruce's book list on magical thinking and superstition

Bruce M. Hood Why did Bruce love this book?

This is an easily accessible book based on Wegner's brilliant work on consciousness and mental control. I have always found Wegner’s work utterly fascinating as it provides such a convincing picture of a mind constantly in a struggle to think coherently – something that I easily recognise in my own conscious awareness. The findings on intrusive implicit thoughts were particularly influential in my own writing about the conflict between dormant thoughts and conscious appraisal that may be factors in why magical thinking surfaces in the rational mind.

By Daniel M. Wegner,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In a series of groundbreaking experiments, Daniel M. Wegner told subjects not to think about white bears. Of course, they found it impossible to avoid thinking of the bears--just as it often seems impossible to stop thinking about forbidden foods, a painful memory, or everyday fears and worries. Synthesizing a wealth of scientific knowledge in an accessible, engaging style, this book reveals that the more we attempt to push away or avoid unwanted thoughts, the deeper they take hold. Wegner offers compelling insights into how unpleasant or obsessive thoughts get out of control--and what we can do to break free…


Book cover of Me and My Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Understanding and Expressing Themselves

Jessica Sinarski Author Of What's Inside Your Backpack?

From my list on children’s books for mental health.

Why am I passionate about this?

My super-power is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. I am living this out as an author, mental health counselor, and the founder of BraveBrains. In addition to training parents and professionals, I have the joy of sharing my passion and expertise through podcast appearances, blogs, and articles. The lightbulb moments are my favorite, and I'm committed to helping people bring what they learn home in practical ways. I write picture books because the magic of reading and re-reading stories light up the brain in a powerful way. But don’t worry…I always include some goodies for the adults in the back of the book.

Jessica's book list on children’s books for mental health

Jessica Sinarski Why did Jessica love this book?

This book lays a great foundation to help children understand their feelings (and the feelings of others). The author draws on her experience as a school counselor to expertly walk the reader through some essential social-emotional learning. The bright colors and clever illustrations keep kids engaged, and the activities throughout make this a fabulous title to use at home, school, or in the counseling office.⁠

By Vanessa Green Allen,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Me and My Feelings as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 7, 8, 9, and 10.

What is this book about?

When a big feeling comes along…you can handle it! Teach kids ages 7 to 10 how to manage their feelings.

Sometimes, emotions like anger or jealousy or excitement can seem too big to keep inside. Me and My Feelings is here to teach kids that it’s okay to have big feelings! They will learn how to calm down those strong emotions so they don’t feel overwhelmed and can continue to take on the world.

This book gives kids the skills to stay in control―by breathing deeply, saying positive things to themselves, talking about their feelings instead of keeping them inside,…


Book cover of The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness
Book cover of Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence
Book cover of Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

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