The most recommended self-control books

Nikolas Rose’s exceptional book Governing the Soul expanded Foucault’s arguments, focusing on how government networks were created in collaboration with psychological specialists in the 20th century to create unique webs of expertise that helped individuals to manage and govern themselves. The result is an excellent exposition of the theory of governmentality. Rose begins with a discussion of how the Second World War encouraged new forms of ‘psychological warfare,’ where strength of mind could be assessed and selected to create the most successful fighting subjects. This created a group of professionals who also advised on the organisation of labour forces and who could teach the population to be productive and contented workers.

This expertise was extended to training children as young citizens who had to adapt to government needs via schools and social services. Rose’s point is that this created a system of power and government that was not top-down… show more.

When our heroine and her little dog spy a spectacular cake just sitting alone on the kitchen table, it's on! The note attached from Mom says "You must not eat the cake." But what's a kid to do? She tries lots of activities to help her forget about cake but will temptation win out? This book is fun, funny, and well written. I love the drama of the situation and the art (by Lucia Gaggioti) is spot on. Fun to read dramatically aloud to both kids and adults. (Pair it with a reading of Green Eggs and Ham!)

Loved the foreword by Jean Donaldson. “What a dog lover should be most concerned about is fear in our puppies and dogs.” Why? Fear behaviors start with growling and snarling, then leads to snapping and biting. Too many big dogs lose their lives from biting accidents. We want our puppies to feel confident and free to sometimes say no. 

Repeat. Be kind. Be patient.

There happen to be many styles and methods of training dogs. Unfortunately, Animal Shelters and the Humane Society report homeless canines as 3.1 million in the U.S.A. Plus, each year in the U.S., 3.9 million dogs are abandoned or given to shelters. Shocking facts. We dog lovers need to do a much better job socializing and training our best friends.

Early Christian monks in the eastern Mediterranean chalked up many of their mental struggles to demonic interference—and yet their approaches to the problem of attention share some striking similarities to modern psychology.

Graiver makes the case that monks’ talk of demons was not a superstitious diagnosis but a pragmatic one: it helped monks try to strike a balance between monitoring their thoughts and thinking too hard about them, deal with unwanted thoughts before they became all-consuming, and figure how to keep it together when their thoughts were all over the place.

I love that this book takes early monks and modern psychologists equally seriously. And even if you don’t start blaming your problems on demons after reading it, you will still have learned a lot about the promises and perils of attention management.

When I first held my daughter, I was filled with dread. I had no idea what to do and felt like everyone gave me conflicting advice. I had traveled a lot and wanted to travel with my daughter but was unsure if I could still travel the same way. After reading Barbara Coloroso’s book, it gave me the confidence that it was my choice how I raised my daughter but it was also my responsibility. I needed to give her choices but I also needed to give her guidelines and rules and set expectations. So many of the lessons about child raising I also applied to traveling with children. Now my daughter has been on hundreds of trips with me and to 13 countries. She has turned into a resilient, capable kid (so far!). 

Katherine Hannigan creates quirky characters that I love, so when I saw True (… Sort Of) in our apartment building’s book exchange box, I snatched it up. Delly Patterson is an unlikely hero. She starts the book as the town troublemaker, bold in a way that I never dared to be as a child. Reading this book was like catapulting myself into a wilder, more adventurous childhood of my own without getting into trouble myself. Delly eventually uses her boldness to stand up for someone with more bravery than many adults might have. (I’d also like to give a shout-out to Katherine Hannigan for including a nonbinary character at a time when hardly anyone else – in society, and especially in children’s books – acknowledged nonbinary people.)

The subtitle of Focus is The Hidden Driver of Excellence, yet this driver is arguably hidden no more upon the book’s release. As a journalist, psychologist, and top-notch researcher, Goleman is uniquely qualified to delve into the ‘science of attention.’ Plus, he has accumulated plenty of street cred from the various iterations of his Emotional Intelligence canon. 

Goleman compares attention to a muscle; requiring regular use to build it up. I couldn’t agree more. This premise is supported by myriad examples, accompanied by useful techniques for application in all aspects of life.

I’ve always been someone with big goals and driven to do more, but after listening to this book, I realized that I was setting my sights too low.

What I love about his story and message is that no matter where you start, there is always an opportunity for greatness. I think this is especially important to remember in retirement – it’s not the finish line. You’re just getting started.

If you are looking for that something more and want to be inspired, this book is an absolute must. The story is about retired Navy SEAL David Goggins, and holds no punches. He dishes about his abusive childhood, his struggles as a young adult, and his decision to want something more from life and from himself.

Listen to the audiobook if you can. The author and the narrator engage in a free-form spirited discussion at the end of each… show more.

Dr. Steve will blow your mind but introducing you to your chimp.

A being we all have within us that plays with our minds and is a wrecking ball! The chimp can work for you or against you! It's how you handle your chimp that counts and this book teaches you how to deal with him. Understanding your chimp will help you live a happier and healthier life!  

This book lays a great foundation to help children understand their feelings (and the feelings of others). The author draws on her experience as a school counselor to expertly walk the reader through some essential social-emotional learning. The bright colors and clever illustrations keep kids engaged, and the activities throughout make this a fabulous title to use at home, school, or in the counseling office.⁠