100 books like Life's Messy, Live Happy

Everyone values being happy – it’s something we all want and should want!

Haybron’s little book has so much wisdom packed into it about what happiness is and how best to get it. He draws on philosophy and psychology to argue that the feeling of happiness is actually made up of three different emotional states: attunement, engagement, and endorsement. 

He then explains the research about good strategies for getting into these positive emotional states.

My students have really enjoyed this book and it contains one of my favorite lines from a book of philosophy: “don’t be an asshole in the pursuit of happiness.”  

This is a unique book in that it integrates the learnings from the great philosophies and religions with modern science to create a powerful story of how you and I can live a happy and a meaningful life.

The Author takes you on a great journey illuminating how our thinking and how our mind and body influence our beliefs and ways of being. He puts together a compelling new story that you can embrace to be on your Journey to Best Self. This book was so good that I have read it three times since I bought it.

This book is solely responsible for hooking me on Stoic philosophy, prompting my deep exploration of practical aspects of life in my own book and, most importantly, the application of them to my daily life. William’s writing is easy to follow, and his advice is very practical. I’d advise you to start reading the book from chapter four; and then when you are done with the book, come back to the first three chapters.

It’s the 2nd book on my list that’s about happiness, but it’s more philosophical and personal than Dan Gilbert’s book. This book changed my life. It made me realize that I had an expectation that my life should be easy and comfortable. Before I read this book whenever something happened in my life that was not easy and comfortable – my plane was delayed, I got sick, a client was late paying an invoice – I would spin into unhappiness. Why was this happening to me? Everything was personal. Stuff happens all the time. What makes us miserable is how we react to it. I remember reading a passage from the book and feeling my frame of reference change. It permanently changed my view of myself and how I deal with life.

I like and dislike this book! Ricard is a scientist and a Buddhist monk, and is reported to be the happiest man on earth. I know, respect, and like Ricard, and this book harkens back to the Stoics by suggesting that moderation is the key to happiness. My research says yes and no to this.  Ricard is correct that spending too much time worrying about the past or future will drag down one's happiness. My research, and that of many others, have shown the positive effect of meditation on happiness and here Ricard is masterful in explaining how and why meditation is important. Calmness and self-insight are very important to avoiding depression and setting the conditions for happiness, but, as Ricard notes, we must be in communities of other people to truly thrive. A little wildness is awesome, go for it!

This is the #1 caregiving book of hope I’d want my family to read, should I ever be diagnosed with dementia. Helene Berger’s memoir shares her experiences caring for her husband after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I learned the many ways she discovered to make life more meaningful for her husband, especially through art (much of his artwork through the years is included). It reiterated to me that the attitude of a caregiver can make all the difference. With kindness and patience, Helene teaches how to be a loving caregiver. 

This might seem an odd book for enhancing your relationship with creativity, but if you struggle with doubts, creative fears (such as a fear of rejection or criticism), the imposter syndrome, anxiety about not being good enough to create what you feel called to create, or other limiting beliefs, the Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) techniques that this book focuses on are just what the doctor ordered. 

Essentially, ACT borrows insights and teachings from older nondual philosophies such as Zen, Buddhism, and Taoism, and puts them in a more conventional, research-based package. Personally, I think ACT doesn’t go nearly far enough to address the root causes of suffering. However, The Happiness Trap gives a quick, easy-to-grasp introduction to some useful techniques that most readers can put into practice right away to create a more “rich and meaningful life.”

For me enduring joy has been elusive and too easily stolen. 

This book provides an active course for capturing it and holding on to it. One area that hit the bullseye for me was the need for laughter in the maintenance of joy. I was rewarded as a child for being serious and responsible. 

As a result, they are my learned defaults. The truth, however, is that they are not my natural way. Those close to me always note that I am funny, but if you are just meeting me or encounter me in a work setting, you would never guess this. 

Unleashing laughter in all settings has become my new goal.   

Another happiness book!? Okay, if a philosophical book on the “art” of happiness isn’t your cup of Tibetan tea, then how about the science of happiness? Dr. Martin Seligmann is considered the founder of positive psychology – a movement to understand not just what’s wrong with people but what’s right. 

Though Seligman has written a few books over the decades on the research of well-being, I think Authentic Happiness is the best introduction to the many studies helping us find more meaning, engagement, and joy. My favorite part is that Seligman seems like a “natural grouch” – like a guy who didn’t want to believe in positive psychology but couldn’t ignore the robust research showing that we can change our well-being. Reading this is like chatting with the gruff, 40-year-teaching-veteran who is chock full of stories, wisdom, and insights to look at and live life differently.

As his students, me included, call him, Tal is a remarkable teacher. His compact book of one hundred and sixty-nine pages is filled with valuable and applicable knowledge on being happier.

He draws a lot from his young life as an athlete and into adult life as a Harvard professor, along with his wellbeing research. His book is set up in three parts: defining happiness, applying happiness, and meditations on happiness. Tal uses “time-in” to have readers stop and reflect on a question relevant to the reading material, which helps one better consider the material more thoughtfully.

The other thing about Tal as a teacher is his approach. It aligns greatly with my ideas about happiness, hence why I study his work. He, more specifically in his happiness studies program, fosters cultivating one's "wholebeing." A term I was already using when I came across his teachings. For me, happiness is… show more.