100 books like Belonging

It was my research on creativity that led me to study workplace abuse.

Surprisingly, there are remarkable similarities among targets of bullying; most salient, they tend to shake the status quo at work while exploring and offering novel solutions to institutionalized problems. Unfortunately, as Grant details in his research, instead of embracing these innovators as forecasters of the future, organizations attempt to silence and minimize their contributions.

However, creatives are not in it for the money or accolades, but for the love of the game and dedication to the mission, thus when they are forced to bow to tradition and play smaller than who they were born to be, they exit the stifling work environment, thus further stagnating an already lagging work culture.

In this book, Grant brilliantly hails the power of the creative to both change our minds and change the world, urging institutions to give them space to… show more.

I am a voracious reader, digesting several books a week. Every once in a while, a book stops me in my tracks, charging me to yell to myself and anyone who will listen - “Yes, yes, that is it!” This is exactly how I felt when I read Janoff-Bulman’s explanation of how trauma sleeps not in the “what” of the story but in how that “what” shatters our assumptions of a benevolent world, making us question if the world is inherently good, if events are meaningful, and whether we are truly worthy.

As both a survivor and researcher of workplace abuse, bullying on the job shatters all of these assumptions - charging the target to doubt the benevolence of the workplace, the predictability of the work environment, and the innate belief that we are inherently worthy despite the workplace gossip that hijacked our narrative.

This seasoned but timeless book talks… show more.

As a workplace bullying researcher, my bookshelves are filled with hundreds of books specifically and adjacent to the topics of workplace abuse, toxic environments, creative cultures, and destructive leadership.

Of all the books I have read on the topic, Duffy’s and Sperry’s is the best. Coming from both a research and clinical perspective, they clearly lay out the causes, significance, and often tragic fallout of workplace abuse.

In addition, they bring the concept of mobbing, a term more often used in Europe, to the United States, detailing the trauma that ensues when a group of people joins forces, exhibiting the predatory behavior of pack animals, with the shared mission to denigrate the target’s reputation and drive her out of a job.

Most importantly, after offering the reader a rich education on toxic group dynamics, they give specific strategies survivors can use to heal and eventually thrive in the workplace. 

A book on quitting may seem like a downer to end my list of recommendations, but if that is what you think, you’ve got quitting all wrong.

Quitting is not about endings, but about clearing the page so there is space to write the next story. In this thought-jostling book, Duke brings the reader into the lives of notable characters who stayed in the game too long and the high price they paid for not walking away.

Throughout her engaging narratives, she infuses research on why we hang on too long and offers reflective questions to get us out of the muck. Threaded amongst the chapters are life lessons disguised on quips like when we quit on time, it likely feels like we are giving up too early, and when it looks like a tie between sticking it out and cutting our losses, we are almost always better walking away.… show more.

I love the simplicity of this book. I recommend it to clients who have a hard time being assertive. The book gives straightfoward, no nonsense input on how to handle a variety of challenging situations in a way which is both self-protective and likely to enable the reader to get a favourable outcome. Situations include how to say no without alienating the other person; asking in a way which makes it likely you’ll get what you want; and dealing with putdowns or unjust criticism.

I include this refreshing travel memoir for escapism – something to be savoured as well as to stretch the mind. Written by an open-minded British author, it describes her solo trip around the Islamic Republic on a motorcycle. By turns entertaining, amusing and full of love for a country and people of which she had no knowledge beyond Western propaganda, it is brilliantly written. Pryce challenges her own assumptions, widens her perspective and has a blast in an engrossing, compelling, easy-to-read travelogue.

Aside from my research on rewards management, pro-social organizational behavior, and employee substance misuse, I’ve focused a lot of my attention on workplace incivility. 

Bob Sutton’s book was one of the factors leading me to look at this topic.  We’ve all encountered incivility at work and all know – at least implicitly – how it impacts us. Sutton’s book was one of the first to make sense – at least for me – of such behavior, not only by identify the “dirty dozen” (12 highly prevalent manifestations of workplace incivility), but also by detailing how damaging such behavior can be to individuals and the organizations employing them.

Aside from giving me insight into the prevalence and nature of employee MIS-management, this book was the start of a personal journey to discover some of the less obvious (but potentially more robust) implications of such problematic organizational behavior.

The teachings of NVC are essential for those wishing to deepen their compassionate hearts.

NVC has helped my partner and me navigate many difficult conversations while remaining connected, present, and caring. Instead of communication breakdown, NVC teaches a focus on identifying needs and expressing emotions before making a doable request. The skills of this practice are essential building blocks for kind and honest communication. 

The title appeals to me, and the list of books I love is overwhelming. I’m rounding out my recs with this out-of-print, self-help book published in 1939 that I came across it in a second-hand bookstore. You can open the guide to almost any page and find something simple and deep, or if not, old phraseology like, Preventing Unwholesome Behavior Due to Tedium, is amusing. Technology may be changing the way people meet and how we process information, but we have most of the same emotional needs as before.

Back in the 1970s, a noted American psychologist, Dr. Sam Janus, whom I had the privilege of meeting at a conference, produced an unusually brave book about the private sexual lives of politicians based upon extensive interviews with sex workers in Washington, D.C., written in collaboration with the experienced psychiatrist Dr. Barbara Bess and the journalist Carol Saltus.

At one level, the private lives of political leaders should remain completely private, but at another level, it might be worth knowing that some of the people who damage the country through poor decision-making also have a long-standing history of damaging their own bodies by paying to be tortured by those women, known back then as “call girls.” I greatly admire this book, as it has provided me with tremendous understanding of the ways in which the private sexual tendencies of many human beings, especially those who endeavour to govern nations, will… show more.