100 books like He's Just Not That Into You

I love bad-ass women who take the world by storm. I love it when they’re funny. I love it when they share their journey. Amy Poehler, badass writer/comedian, wrote her memoir in the form of a self-help book. The self-help aspect is in disguise, though. You’re supposed to think it’s a memoir/fun celebrity tell-all, but it’s way more than that. It’s a bossy bitchy blueprint on how to get through life with humor and honesty and loads of funny stories. 

Some of her advice: Talk To Yourself Like You’re Ninety and Treat Your Career Like A Bad Boyfriend. Amy’s snarky, smart, and silly stories about her successes and failures inspire me to be a badass, too. Humor and snark and advice. Yes, please!

I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride that never stopped while reading this book. It was thrilling and scary and fun. I also couldn’t stop bursting into laughter that ranged from high-pitched shrieking to low-key chuckling, all while nervously looking around to see if anyone in my proximity would ask what was so funny. Because … I don’t know what was so funny.

Everything I was laughing at was inappropriate. Concerning. Completely not funny if I thought about it. But that is the genius of Jenny Lawson’s memoir. Her wild and disturbing journey through life and her ability to handle the insanity with absurd humor and sweetness makes devouring her book the most fun roller coaster in the world. 

This book took my breath away.

This is no pithy or glib advice column book bound by word counts and editorial edits. Her advice is lengthy and considered and beautifully interwoven with her poignant personal stories. Her advice is raw and poetic. Not flowery or pretty poetry, but punch you in your soul, pierce directly into your heart truth bombs.

It’s tough love to the extreme. Every single entry took my breath away with its unflinching rawness. And, at the same time, delivered with compassion and care that I felt somehow … loved. There’s humor in this book, but it’s subtle, and it captures the wonder and madness and beauty and crazy courageousness needed to live in our bizarre world. 

Geraldine DeRuiter validates the outrage I feel at the absolute absurdity of being a woman in America. This is because she is just as outraged, but she conveys it with sarcastic, self-deprecating, and biting humor. 

Reading If You Can’t Take The Heat is like having margaritas with your BFF and tipsily yelling at the top of your voices about the injustices of everyday misogyny. Your hilarious, ferocious, fantastically brilliant BFF, that is. All while stuffing your face with chips and guacamole and simultaneously worrying about packing on the pounds. You’ll gossip about food, family, and feminism, and all will magically be linked together by DeRuiter. It’s absurd. It’s infuriating. It's cathartic. And I have never felt so seen.

I was captivated by the first chapter of this book, which summarises the case for considering language to be a human instinct. I love the way that it deploys rational thought and evidence in pursuit of intriguing 'grand theorizing'. It's a compelling read and expertly constructed introduction to the psychology (and sociology) of language. It is also a case study in how to build arguments.

The diminishing role of rational thought and evidence-based argument in the wider political sphere is one of the greatest threats to our world. So, when we read books like this, we are not simply making a personal decision. We are also making a political statement about the kind of world we want to live in.

There are so many books written about active listening and communications, but not many that focus on what the other person really needs: Validation.

As veterans re-integrate into the civilian workforce and lifestyle, the way they communicate is different from when they were serving in the military, and becoming mindful of how they communicate with others is important. This book will guide them through a key skill (validation) that will help them not only in their career, but also in their personal life. 

The brilliance of Exactly What to Say is in its brevity and simplicity. It was built on the premise that when you ‘change your words you change your world’ and how what we say heavily impacts our ability to influence others. It is full of practical, actionable concepts on word choice and phrasing that can be implemented immediately by anyone looking to the effectiveness of their communication. While this book is a quick read–it is incredibly profound and powerful. 

This is one of those books that completely changes the way you understand a subject.

Clanchy looks at how the growth of bureaucracy in England fostered the growth of literacy and changed the world in the process. That’s an important subject in its own right, but I love this book for all of the little details it includes.

It’s full of information about how the definition of literacy has changed over time, how knights and kings were educated, how courts functioned, how oral testimony was heard, how records were kept, how books were produced, how much it cost to produce them, and how forgery developed.

This is very much an academic book, but it explores a whole range of practices and attitudes that have shaped the world we live in.

Just Be Honest is a great book on communication strategies. One part of this book that has always stuck with me is what Steven Gaffney calls Notice vs. Imagine. Steven Gaffney estimates that at least 50% of what we imagine about others is inaccurate. For example, upon exiting a meeting at work, 50% of each person’s thoughts, opinions, and assumptions from the meeting are likely to be wrong. The worse part about this is that each person may well think he or she is 100 percent right. I learned a lot about hidden assumptions and communication strategies from this book.

The book introduced me to time travel, hyperspace, superstitious rats, psychic horses, conspiracy theories, and UFOs. Watzlawick, a psychologist by trade, explores the many facets of communication: how it occurs, how it fails, and how we can be misled by it.

One of the first people to explore the psychology of conspiracy theories and disinformation, he alerts us to the perils and pitfalls of all sorts of communication—both verbal and nonverbal-- through amusing anecdotes and erudite examples.