The most recommended psychological abuse books

Who picked these books? Meet our 17 experts.

17 authors created a book list connected to psychological abuse, and here are their favorite psychological abuse books.
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Book cover of The Mother I Could Have Been

Shawna Holly Author Of The Stories We Keep: A Novel of Motherhood, Mental Health & Hope

From my list on capturing the power of friendship and family.

Why am I passionate about this?

Realistic, contemporary fiction is my jam. I’m in love with the genre for many reasons, but the most significant is this: In life, we often find it difficult to reveal our struggles to others, for fear of being exposed, seen as weak, “crazy”, or incapable. However, in the magical world of contemporary fiction, we allow ourselves to relate without fear of judgment or shame and because how we relate is different for all of us, these raw, emotional stories are some of the most powerful ones to be told. Why? Because it is in these stories that we see ourselves, and in them, we find hope.

Shawna's book list on capturing the power of friendship and family

Shawna Holly Why did Shawna love this book?

What would you do if you found yourself in a new relationship, pregnant, and with nowhere to turn?

Vikky Hall, the protagonist in this story, has chosen to cut herself off from the mother she feels couldn’t care less, and winds up living with her boyfriend’s family while raising their son. As a result of toxic relationships and manipulation which bring on depression and self-doubt, Vikky sees no way out. She leaves their home—and her toddler son—behind.

This is a magnificently crafted novel exploring relationships between parents and children, the insecurity and guilt that can often come with motherhood, found family, forgiveness, and new beginnings. I loved it for its realness in addressing hard topics and emotions, and most strikingly, for its heart.

By Kerry Fisher,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Mother I Could Have Been as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Why would you walk away from the one person you can’t live without?

As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.

When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But…


Book cover of Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Nadine Macaluso Author Of Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds

From my list on trauma bonds.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I also have my Ph.D. in somatic psychotherapy. In my clinical practice, I noticed how many smart, kind women were trapped in trauma bonds. So, I researched the topic and decided to write a book to help women understand the complex psychological process of trauma bonds and how to recover from coercive control and abuse. Also, my ex-husband is the "Wolf of Wall Street", so I have personal experience of a trauma bond as well.

Nadine's book list on trauma bonds

Nadine Macaluso Why did Nadine love this book?

This is the best book ever written about the psychology of the male perpetrator in a trauma bond.

In this book, I was able to see into the mind of an abuser and no longer make excuses for them. I love how the author described the different types of abusers and how he explained how to leave a trauma bond.

I refer this book to every one of my patients.

By Lundy Bancroft,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?
 
You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
 
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive…


Book cover of First Love

Jenna Clake Author Of Disturbance

From my list on abusive and toxic relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a poet, novelist, and Senior Lecturer in Creative Writing at Teesside University in the UK. I like to write and read about particularly gender power dynamics, and how those come to play in domestic situations. I love lyrical novels and books that explore characters’ interiority, and I’m interested in how, generally speaking, ‘toxic’ and ‘abusive’ relationships have become synonymous – even though they are quite different. These novels helped me write my own, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading them as much as I did!

Jenna's book list on abusive and toxic relationships

Jenna Clake Why did Jenna love this book?

This might be one of my favourite books of all time.

Riley’s prose is exquisite – pared back, yet lyrical – and her dialogue is unmatched. Neve has married Edwyn, an older and more financially stable man. As Neve thinks about all the decisions and circumstances that led to her marriage – including trying to escape her bully of a father and her intense and naïve mother – Riley deftly and subtly details cycles of abuse and neglect.

Edwyn has terrible moods, which Neve excuses, and for which she blames herself. Riley truly understands and captures the psychology of loving and making excuses for an abusive partner or family member. 

By Gwendoline Riley,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked First Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'A singular, devastating journey into the ungovernable reaches of the heart' Observer

SHORTLISTED FOR THE BAILEYS WOMEN'S PRIZE FOR FICTION 2017

Neve is a writer in her mid-30s married to an older man, Edwyn. For now they are in a place of relative peace, but their past battles have left scars. As Neve recalls the decisions that led her to this marriage, she tells of other loves and other debts, from her bullying father and her self-involved mother to a musician who played her and a series of lonely flights from place to place.

Drawing the reader into the battleground…


Book cover of Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

Renee Smith Ettline Author Of Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

From my list on Christian books on healing from divorce.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards. 

Renee's book list on Christian books on healing from divorce

Renee Smith Ettline Why did Renee love this book?

I often see people who believe they need someone else to make them whole. This is especially true when someone has been emotionally or spiritually abused. Emotional abuse is when someone consistently belittles and dominates you dismissing your value and making you feel less than. In addition to addressing emotional abuse, Don’t Call it Love also delves into the issues of spiritual abuse, something I have seen all too often in my ministry. It’s a travesty when your mate distorts scripture to manipulate and control you or to make you feel less than. If you have experienced emotional or spiritual abuse this book can help you understand your true value in the eyes of God and give you insight into how to avoid continuing to land in abusive relationships.

By Gregory L. Jantz, Tim Clinton, Ann McMurray

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Don't Call It Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"You complete me" may be a romantic line in a popular movie, but it's not a healthy basis for a real relationship. Unfortunately, many people are drawn into relationships that are unfulfilling precisely because they are looking to other people to fill in the places where they are lacking--they are looking for a person who will "complete" them. At the heart of relationship dependency is a person's belief that he or she alone is not enough. But using others to provide wholeness simply does not work, because while we are made to be relationship dependent, it is God we must…


Book cover of A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

Caroline Abbott Author Of A Journey Through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom

From my list on being emotionally abused.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years but didn’t realize what was happening to me. I tried to twist myself into a perfectly shaped pretzel to make my husband happy. It didn’t work. Reading some of these books gave me the courage to seek a restraining order and divorce my husband. Since then, I became a domestic violence advocate, author, blogger, and mental health counselor. 

Caroline's book list on being emotionally abused

Caroline Abbott Why did Caroline love this book?

When I was in the process of leaving my abusive husband, I sought help from my church. Sadly, my pastors had no idea what they were dealing with. Instead of helping me, they sided with my abuser. This book, written by a pastor, helps churches understand the evil that abusers perpetrate, and how they can and should help the abused partner.

By Jeff Crippen, Anna Wood,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Cry for Justice as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ!

In many Christian circles this may be a taboo subject--spoken of in hushed tones or behind closed doors. But it is a very real problem that must be brought into the light of Scripture.

Abuse in the church takes different forms; but it is alive and active even in "nice" families in our churches. Typically, the abuser is male, usually a husband--and his character is that of a manipulating deceiver. Countless women and children--even many faithful pastors--have been abused by these deceivers.

Have you, or someone you know, been a victim? Has an…


Book cover of God, the Devil, and Divorce: A Transformative Journey out of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

Sonia Frontera Author Of Relationship Solutions: Effective Strategies to Heal Your Heart and Create the Happiness You Deserve

From my list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship.

Why am I passionate about this?

Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. Through the years, Sonia has supported domestic violence survivors as an advocate, speaker, and empowerment trainer.

Sonia's book list on freeing you from the pain of a toxic relationship

Sonia Frontera Why did Sonia love this book?

Divorce is a devastating experience, especially where ending a marriage is viewed as a separation, not only from your spouse, but from your church as well. In God, the Devil and Divorce, Linda M. Kurth shares her personal divorce journey in spite of the opposition of her community of faith to escape the pain of an abusive marriage. She emerges triumphantly as a trailblazer for Christian women enduring spousal abuse, offering hope and reassuring them that life goes on—and happily. 

By Linda M. Kurth,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked God, the Devil, and Divorce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

God, The Devil, and Divorce tells the story of a Christian woman's marriage and divorce recovery from her "crazymaking" spouse; and how she learned to trust God along the way.

How could Linda Moore Kurth's marriage that once seemed so right become so wrong? Put-downs, shaming, and distancing grow into habitual emotional abuse. Counseling provides glimmers of hope, only for that hope to fade. She is shocked when her latest Christian counselor tells her, "If you divorce, Satan wins."

Linda receives a dichotomy of reactions from other Christians for her ultimate decision to leave her marriage. Betrayal and heartache bring…


Book cover of Lord of Shadows

Ashley Weiss Author Of Cupid's Compass

From my list on to be emotionally tortured by fiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

As an avid reader since childhood, I’ve always hunted for books that deliver the most epic emotional experiences. Stories that you can’t put down even when your eyelids ache for sleep or the page is blurred with tears. The ones where fiction becomes reality and the room around you disappears with every page. Cupid’s Compass was inspired by these all-consuming novels and I expect my future works will follow the same mission: to evoke laughter, tears, and the ever-expansive qualities of humanity.

Ashley's book list on to be emotionally tortured by fiction

Ashley Weiss Why did Ashley love this book?

I’ve never thrown a book across the room harder than this one. While book one of The Dark Artifices had a fabulous cliffhanger, nothing could ever compare to the utter devastation book two, Lord Of Shadows, managed.

I would recommend this Young Adult series to people who love a blend of action and romance in contemporary-fantasy, value modern representation such as trans characters and autism awareness, and readers who like to have their hearts tortured in the cruelest of ways. 

By Cassandra Clare,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Lord of Shadows as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 14, 15, 16, and 17.

What is this book about?

Sunny Los Angeles can be a dark place indeed in Cassandra Clare's Lord of Shadows, the sequel to the #1 New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling Lady Midnight. Lord of Shadows is a Shadowhunters novel.

Emma Carstairs has finally avenged her parents. She thought she'd be at peace. But she is anything but calm. Torn between her desire for her parabatai Julian and her desire to protect him from the brutal consequences of parabatai relationships, she has begun dating his brother, Mark. But Mark has spent the past five years trapped in Faerie; can he ever truly be a…


Book cover of Assassin of Reality

Sita Bennett Author Of She Who Rose From Ashes: Legend of the Mystics

From Sita's 3 favorite reads in 2023.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Sunrise ocean swimmer Truth and freedom seeker Neuroscience enthusiast Philosopher Chronic illness survivor

Sita's 3 favorite reads in 2023

Sita Bennett Why did Sita love this book?

One of my favourite books of all-time, Vita Nostra, is a smartly-crafted work of dark Ukrainian fantasy that explores a young woman's awakening of consciousness through a combination of philosophy, science, and magicwhich is based on language and transcends certain metaphorical language structures. It is absurd and strange, but the story's originality and punchy prose made it profoundly impactful to me.

The sequel is equally mysterious and captivating. While very abstract, I found the unrelatability to the Protagonist’s journey surprisingly relatable. Her sense of distance from society while walking a path that ordinary people rarely follow aligned with elements of my experience walking a path of ‘truth’ and transcending ego-centric existence. Challenging, but the reward is astronomical.

By Marina Dyachenko, Sergey Dyachenko,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Assassin of Reality as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The eagerly anticipated sequel to the highly acclaimed Vita Nostra takes readers to the next stage in Sasha Samokhina's journey in a richly imagined world of dark academia in which grammar is magic-and not all magic is good.

In Vita Nostra, Sasha Samokhina, a third-year student at the Institute of Special Technologies, was in the middle of taking the final exam that would transform her into a part of the Great Speech. After defying her teachers' expectations, Sasha emerges from the exam as Password, a unique and powerful part of speech. Accomplished and ready to embrace her new role, she…


Book cover of The Saltwater Heir

Ashley Weiss Author Of Cupid's Compass

From my list on to be emotionally tortured by fiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

As an avid reader since childhood, I’ve always hunted for books that deliver the most epic emotional experiences. Stories that you can’t put down even when your eyelids ache for sleep or the page is blurred with tears. The ones where fiction becomes reality and the room around you disappears with every page. Cupid’s Compass was inspired by these all-consuming novels and I expect my future works will follow the same mission: to evoke laughter, tears, and the ever-expansive qualities of humanity.

Ashley's book list on to be emotionally tortured by fiction

Ashley Weiss Why did Ashley love this book?

With ever-increasing stakes, The Saltwater Heir is by far the best self-published fantasy book I’ve ever read.

The story follows a lost princess, war-torn kingdoms, and a love interest fated to die. It has the perfect balance of banter and sass, slow-burn romance, hilariously relatable sibling dynamics, and gut-wrenching plot twists to keep you on the edge of your seat. I laughed a lot; I sobbed even more.

I would recommend this book to readers who enjoy having their hearts captured in an emotional vise of stress, hope, and heartbreak.

By Cassidy Clarke,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Saltwater Heir as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Princess Soren of Nyx is no stranger to loss after a decade-long war with the neighboring kingdom of Atlas. But with her best friend slowly succumbing to a cruel Atlas poison, she hatches a reckless plan: kidnap the enemy prince from the battlefield and use his life to barter for the antidote.


But when that prince calls her by a different name...the name of his sister, whose death began the war ten years ago...everything changes.


Stolen away to Atlas, trapped behind enemy lines, Soren must navigate a kingdom she knows nothing about, surrounded by a family she doesn't remember, and…


Book cover of The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

Renee Smith Ettline Author Of Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

From my list on Christian books on healing from divorce.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for helping people move past the pain of divorce because I’ve been there myself. As a counselor I knew what I needed to do to cope and heal but I also quickly realized the importance of making prayerful decisions and trusting God. It’s my joy to walk you through steps you can take to cope now and move to a brighter future. My education, career, faith, and experiences have resulted in my book Peace after Divorce being recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards. 

Renee's book list on Christian books on healing from divorce

Renee Smith Ettline Why did Renee love this book?

So many women have silently suffered abuse for years in the name of trying to do what they believe God would have them do. Sadly, their well-meaning efforts, and at times misunderstanding of the Scriptures, can actually feed the destructive cycle in their marriages. In this book, Leslie Vernick reaches out to the reader with practical strategies for recognizing emotional abuse and taking steps to break free of its bondage. She outlines what needs to happen for hope to be restored in a marriage and shares how to leave if the cycle of destruction continues. Many women I’ve worked with through my groups and Peace after Divorce Workshops have cited that this book literally saved their lives.

By Leslie Vernick,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Emotionally Destructive Marriage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Something Has to Change…
 
You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.    
 
For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:
 
·         identify damaging behaviors…