100 books like The Mother-Daughter Puzzle

By Rosjke Hasseldine,

Here are 100 books that The Mother-Daughter Puzzle fans have personally recommended if you like The Mother-Daughter Puzzle. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Author Of This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

From my list on books for stellar mental growth.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, deeply committed to healing intergenerational trauma and fostering healthy relationships. My passion for this field stems from witnessing the transformational power of understanding and addressing the roots of personal and relational issues. Having navigated the complex dynamics of family systems both professionally and personally, I've seen firsthand how unearthing and healing old wounds can lead to profound growth and stronger bonds. This fuels my dedication to guiding others on their journeys toward self-discovery and improved mental health. The books I recommend are ones that have not only enriched my professional practice but have also offered me invaluable insights into the psychology of human connections.

Dr.'s book list on books for stellar mental growth

Dr. Edrica D. Richardson Why did Dr. love this book?

This is a groundbreaking book that reshaped my understanding of family trauma and its impact across generations. It introduced me to the concept of inherited family trauma and offered insightful methods to uncover and break these cycles. This book not only educated me but also provided a path toward healing and self-discovery.

Reading it was an educational experience, revealing how much of who we are is influenced by the stories of our ancestors. Wolynn’s compassionate approach made complex psychological theories accessible and applicable to my life. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in exploring their family history and healing from its unseen effects. 

By Mark Wolynn,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked It Didn't Start With You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Inherited family trauma is currently an area of growing interest, as science increasingly explores what we know intuitively: that the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next, and that the answers to some of our greatest life problems often lie not within our own story, but in the experiences of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and extended family. Here, pioneer Mark Wolyn shows readers how they can overcome inherited trauma and reclaim their lives.


Book cover of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame

Khara Croswaite Brindle Author Of Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

From my list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a mental health therapist, I’m passionate about helping daughters heal. Daughters who have experienced repeated abuse, hurt, trauma, or neglect from their mothers will often grapple with the decision to stay connected to their mothers or estrange in adulthood. Many of these women come to therapy for additional support on their self-discovery journeys and have felt validated and seen when books were written for their experiences and perspectives. I’ve seen how these books have helped my clients heal their attachment trauma over the years, and I’m confident they can help even more women from here!

Khara's book list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma

Khara Croswaite Brindle Why did Khara love this book?

Karen has written about mother-daughter dynamics for decades. Her willingness to share stories from her own life, as well as the women she’s helped over the years, adds a lot of heart to the content of this book.

My favorite element of this book was Karen’s visual exercise of letting go and healing generational trauma and shame. Similar to what I’d explore with a client in therapy, these visualizations are empowering and bring hope to adult daughters wanting to heal themselves with or without their mom being a part of their life.

By Karen C.L. Anderson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked You Are Not Your Mother as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Release the Generational Trauma of Shame

"Karen is the wise voice you want whispering in your ear when shame knocks on your door, reminding you that you are so much more than your relationship with your mother." -Maggie Reyes, master certified marriage coach & bestselling author of The Questions for Couples Journal

#1 New Release in Adult Children of Alcoholics and Parent & Adult Child Relationships

What is your relationship to shame? How can you overcome it and live an intentional life of vulnerability? You Are Not Your Mother guides readers on how to see shame, and live separately from…


Book cover of The Good Daughter Syndrome: Help For Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter

Khara Croswaite Brindle Author Of Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

From my list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a mental health therapist, I’m passionate about helping daughters heal. Daughters who have experienced repeated abuse, hurt, trauma, or neglect from their mothers will often grapple with the decision to stay connected to their mothers or estrange in adulthood. Many of these women come to therapy for additional support on their self-discovery journeys and have felt validated and seen when books were written for their experiences and perspectives. I’ve seen how these books have helped my clients heal their attachment trauma over the years, and I’m confident they can help even more women from here!

Khara's book list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma

Khara Croswaite Brindle Why did Khara love this book?

I think about this book a lot. Breaking down the roles daughter might play with a mom who struggles with personality characteristics that lend to the mother-daughter relationship being difficult is compelling!

I enjoyed the author’s style of writing as she makes you feel like you are in the room with her, and she’s offering a lot of acceptance, validation, and compassion that serves to help the healing process from attachment trauma with mom. This book is full of examples of how mom might show up and how adult daughter may choose to respond in ways that support healthy boundaries and healing.

By Katherine Fabrizio,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Good Daughter Syndrome as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


You love your mother, but she drives you crazy.
She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback, and resulting guilt is so bad you tell yourself... it's just not worth it.

Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult?
Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind?

Do you feel stuck in your relationship with Mom-
-trying to please her but never feeling good enough?
- feel responsible for Mom's emotional well-being?
-struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty or get so much pushback you end up feeling like ...it's just…


Book cover of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Dr. Helen Hsu Author Of The Healing Trauma Workbook for Asian Americans: Heal from Racism, Build Resilience, and Find Strength in Your Identity

From my list on beyond “therapy as usual” for your mental health.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.

Dr.'s book list on beyond “therapy as usual” for your mental health

Dr. Helen Hsu Why did Dr. love this book?

Legions of regular folks have grown up with parents or caretakers who were emotionally immature or unskilled. These family-of-origin deficits may or may not have met the criteria for outright abuse but caused lasting emotional harm to the kids. I love that this book uses clear language and validates the reality of countless readers.

A guide like this book explains unhelpful familial behavior patterns and explores ways to liberate the reader from automatically repeating dysfunctional history. Book clubs are springing up worldwide about this book. It’s also valuable to me in defining emotionally immature parents not as bad people but as people who lack the insight and skills to provide an emotionally supportive and healthy home.

Changing maladaptive family-of-origin patterns is incredibly hard work, and this gentle guide is a great intro to understanding the past to evolve an emotionally healthier present and future.

By Lindsay C Gibson,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Are you one of the countless people who grew up with emotionally immature parents? If you suffer from this troubling parent/child dynamic, you may still recall painful moments from your childhood when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of maturity in an effort to "compensate" for your parents' behavior. And while you likely cultivated strengths such as self-reliance and independence along the way- strengths that have served you well as an adult-having to be the emotionally mature person in your relationship with your parent is confusing and even…


Book cover of Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Karen C.L. Anderson Author Of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame

From my list on difficult mother/adult daughter relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

In the 1980s, my mother “divorced” her mother with a letter in the mail. In 2010 I did the same via email. I thought it was just my dysfunctional family, but come to find out, mother-adult daughter estrangement is not unusual and difficult mother-daughter relationships don’t happen in a vacuum, they happen in the context of patriarchy, white supremacy, internalized misogyny, and other oppressive systems. Through therapy and, later, when I trained to be a life coach, allllll my “mother stuff” came up. The tools and practices I learned and developed were so helpful to me, I couldn’t keep them to myself. 

Karen's book list on difficult mother/adult daughter relationships

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did Karen love this book?

Wells’ novel takes readers to the heart of the pain that an adult daughter experiences at the hands of a troubled mother.

It explores how the pain and trauma of being a woman in a culture that doesn’t value women equally are passed down through generations and how each generation picks it up and carries it, in similar but different ways.

This “wound” shows up in the relationships of mothers who grew up in the 1950s and 60s and their daughters who grew up in the 1970s and 80s. The mothers want so much for their daughters to have more freedom than they themselves did, but instead find themselves experiencing fear, bitterness, and unexpected jealousy.

By Rebecca Wells,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Film tie-in edition of the international bestseller. When Siddalee Walker, eldest daughter of Vivi Abbott Walker (Ya-Ya extraordinaire - part Scarlett, part Katharine Hepburn, part Tallulah) is interviewed about a hit play she has directed, her mother is described as a 'tap-dancing child abuser'.

Enraged, Vivi disowns Sidda - devastating her daughter who postpones her wedding and puts her life on hold until she is granted forgiveness. Trying to repair the relationship, the Ya-Yas, Vivi's intrepid tribe of Louisiana girlfriends, sashay in and insist Sidda is sent 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood', a scrapbook of their lives together…


Book cover of The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Julie S. Kraft Author Of The Gift of Recovery: 52 Mindful Ways to Live Joyfully Beyond Addiction

From my list on women growing in recovery.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and have been helping addicts thrive in recovery since 2009. My first book, The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction, has sold over 70,000 copies and been published in several countries. Books can offer inspiration, comfort, support, and relief during recovery. In my writing, as in my work with clients, I hope to offer a path to greater fulfillment and joy after addiction.

Julie's book list on women growing in recovery

Julie S. Kraft Why did Julie love this book?

I can’t overstate how much I learned from this book. I used to avoid anger at all costs. I was suffering from “nice lady syndrome.” Now I have come to see anger as a terrific little alarm system, letting me know a boundary of mine has been crossed. Like all emotions, as well as being temporary and tolerable it is a guide. I can listen to it and learn from it. I recommend The Dance of Anger to clients who experience discomfort with anger in general, marital problems, stressful in-law situations… the list goes on. If anger has been a trigger for your addiction, or you wonder how to deal with anger in recovery, this book is for you. 

By Harriet Lerner,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Dance of Anger as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A fresh new jacket design brings this classic self-help guide up to date for a contemporary readership. One of the forerunners to today's pop psych market along with Women Who Love Too Much, this multimillion bestseller shows us how anger affects women's relationships and explains how to turn this often destructive force into a constructive one.

For many women, anger is a destructive force that perpetuates all the harmful dynamics of their most intimate relationships.

This classic, inspirational book from internationally respected feminist psychologist Harriet Lerner explores the ways in which anger can lead into a destructive 'dance' within women's…


Book cover of The Kings of Cool: The Prequel to Savages

Kirk Russell Author Of Wolf Tracks

From my list on strong mood and vibe from the first page.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have just written my twelfth novel and quite possibly my last. I’ve returned to where my heart is. My first five crime novels came about through the generous help of some undercover California wildlife agents. Now, in a sense, I’m back where I started, except that my latest book is also a love story. We make plenty of mistakes in life, some much worse than others. My characters deal with them in their own way. I can understand that, and I like that. And hey, there’s always the possibility of redemption.

Kirk's book list on strong mood and vibe from the first page

Kirk Russell Why did Kirk love this book?

I don’t know of anyone else who so captures time, place, and the idiosyncratic language of the moment that we tend to shake our heads at years later but is exactly right at the time. Winslow is a magician with the nuances.

Here’s how the novel opens in Laguna Beach, California. "Is what O is thinking as she sits between Chon and Ben on a bench at Main Beach and picks out potential mates for them. "That one?" she asks, pointing at a classic BB (Basically Baywatch) strolling down the Boardwalk." "Chon shakes his head." And further down, "O was made for sunshine.' "California girl."

I live in California. I grew up here. Winslow captures the moment. Future historians should read him.

By Don Winslow,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Kings of Cool as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Cartel, The Force, and The Border

In Savages, Don Winslow introduced Ben and Chon, twenty-something best friends who risk everything to save the girl they both love, O. Among the most celebrated literary thrillers, Savages was a Top 10 Book of the Year selection by Janet Maslin in The New York Times and Stephen King in Entertainment Weekly.

Now, in this high-octane prequel to Savages, Winslow reaches back in time to tell the story of how Ben, Chon, and O became the people they are. Spanning from 1960s Southern California to…


Book cover of The Death of Santini: The Story of a Father and His Son

Beverly A. Li Author Of The Elbow Grease Legacy

From my list on seeking to unravel dysfunctional family cycles.

Why am I passionate about this?

It took a career as a librarian to help me understand my need for order, instead of the emotional chaos I grew up with in a large family. Being the child of an alcoholic father and a codependent mother gave me little personal value. After gaining some sense of worth in college, I wanted to give my kids the stability and support every child deserves, but I had to learn how to do this. I used my resources: education, self-scrutiny, honesty, art, nature, and the good Lord of the universe.

Beverly's book list on seeking to unravel dysfunctional family cycles

Beverly A. Li Why did Beverly love this book?

Inspired by the works of Thomas Wolfe, Conroy’s autobiographical novel begins after his high school years, with flashbacks to earlier days as it leads toward the end of each of his parent’s lives.

Once a brutal alcoholic, his ex-military father remains verbally abusive but allows a viable relationship with Conroy, the eldest son, while the mother fantasizes relentlessly. As adults, Conroy and his six siblings try to make sense of the negative repercussions they endure from their chaotic, unstable childhood.

I appreciated Conroy’s sincerity, especially when he witnesses another one of his novels being made into a movie and realizes he is watching art in its creation. “It was so powerful in its purity and its sheer honesty that it shook me, terrified me. But it changed me. That is what art always does.”

By Pat Conroy,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Death of Santini as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A painful, lyrical, addictive read” (People) by the cherished author of The Great Santini that brings his extraordinary career full circle
 
Pat Conroy’s great success as a writer has always been intimately linked with the exploration of his family history. As the oldest of seven children who were dragged from military base to military base across the South, Pat bore witness to the often cruel and violent behavior of his father, Marine Corps fighter pilot Donald Patrick Conroy. While the publication of The Great Santini brought Pat much acclaim, the rift it caused brought even…


Book cover of Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady

Tom Keymer Author Of Jane Austen: A Very Short Introduction

From my list on stories written before 1800.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve been researching and teaching the history of the novel since I was a graduate student in Cambridge in the late 1980s, and along the way, I’ve published trade editions of several classics beyond those recommended here, including Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe, Richardson’s Pamela, Fielding’s Tom Jones, and Beckford’s Vathek. It’s a great opportunity to take a break from specialist academia and reach a broader community of readers, as I’ve also tried to do in a recent introductory book about Jane Austen. I now teach at the University of Toronto, where I’m blessed with amazing students on two of my favourite undergraduate courses, “The Rise of the Novel” and “Austen and Her Contemporaries.”

Tom's book list on stories written before 1800

Tom Keymer Why did Tom love this book?

The towering achievement of eighteenth-century fiction, but long, very long—and not because of the plot so much as the form. “There is no Story,” wrote Hester Thrale, an early admirer of Clarissa (1747-8): “A man gets a Girl from her Parents—violates her Free Will, & She dies of a broken heart.” Around this brutal, elemental tale of toxic courtship and finally rape, however, the novel uses competing, divergent points of view to problematize access to the action, its causes and effects, its rights and wrongs, its large implications for sexual politics and social class. With its multiple narrators, Clarissa probes complex psychologies in startling new ways and throws the burden of interpretation and judgment on its readers. It’s not just a compelling story but a vast, endlessly troubling altercation about that story, with each narrator, one way or another, “throwing dust in the eyes of his judges.”

By Samuel Richardson, Angus Ross (editor),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Pressured by her unscrupulous family to marry a wealthy man she detests, the young Clarissa Harlowe is tricked into fleeing with the witty and debonair Robert Lovelace and places herself under his protection. Lovelace, however, proves himself to be an untrustworthy rake whose vague promises of marriage are accompanied by unwelcome and increasingly brutal sexual advances. And yet, Clarissa finds his charm alluring, her scrupulous sense of virtue tinged with unconfessed desire. Told through a complex series of interweaving letters, Clarissa is a richly ambiguous study of a fatally attracted couple and a work of astonishing power and immediacy. A…


Book cover of Mildred Pierce

Glenn Kaplan Author Of Angel of Ambition

From my list on fearless females in fiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

Maybe because I was raised by strong, independent women. Maybe because I went to an all-women’s college for a bit. Or maybe because I worked with so many powerful women in advertising. All those things combined to create my interest in fearless females in fiction. Women with natural ambition and power needs have many more obstacles put in their way than men do. For me, the character of Angela, the “angel” in Angel of Ambition, emerged naturally. She is part and parcel of the best and worst traits of the fearless females I’ve known in life and the fearless females in fiction that I’ve sometimes loathed and, in the end, always loved.

Glenn's book list on fearless females in fiction

Glenn Kaplan Why did Glenn love this book?

Mildred starts out trying to fulfill all the traditional roles society expects of women as a wife and mother.  But she discovers, through travails, that she is too smart, too talented, and too natively ambitious to settle for those limitations. As Mildred gains success in the “man’s world,” she becomes the provider for everyone around her. She learns the bitterest lessons imaginable as her men and her daughter, first use her, then betray her. Against her will, Mildred Pierce becomes a fearless female in a cold cruel world. She triumphs in the end as a woman of courage, relying not on the unreliable love of others, but on her own independent spirit.

By James M. Cain,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Mildred Pierce as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In Mildred Pierce, noir master James M. Cain creates a novel of acute social observation and devasting emotional violence, with a heroine whose ambitions and sufferings are never less than recognizable.

Mildred Pierce had gorgeous legs, a way with a skillet, and a bone-deep core of toughness. She used those attributes to survive a divorce and poverty and to claw her way out of the lower middle class. But Mildred also had two weaknesses: a yen for shiftless men, and an unreasoning devotion to a monstrous daughter.


Book cover of It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Book cover of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame
Book cover of The Good Daughter Syndrome: Help For Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter

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