Fans pick 100 books like Conversations on Love

By Natasha Lunn,

Here are 100 books that Conversations on Love fans have personally recommended if you like Conversations on Love. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of What We Want: A Journey Through Twelve of Our Deepest Desires

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

Whilst this is a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ book that takes you through the experiences of clients in therapy, Charlotte also shares her side of the story as the therapist in question. This bridges both her professional and personal experiences, which completely draws you in.

There are so many thoughtful and interesting quotes throughout this book and I found myself scribbling notes the whole way through reading it. Whilst the book is provocatively titled around the topic of desire, it’s not all sexual or erotic. It connects with something that we all want in some way freedom, to belong, control, understanding, and love.

It’s a really smart book – not in an intimidating way, but in a ‘I wish I had written that’ kind of way. 

By Charlotte Fox Weber,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked What We Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Thoughtful, lucid and blessedly free of therapese . . . Weber's book is a powerful snapshot into the little bombs going off in the lives and homes of those around us' SUNDAY TIMES

'Finely crafted, profound and always generous . . . Made me feel excited to be alive' NATASHA LUNN

Our secret wants and desires are often hidden in a box. But what happens when you lift the lid?

Chloe is beautiful and fiercely bright, but her thirst for alcohol and attention is insatiable.

Sara resents being tied down to anything, but part of her craves stability.

Elliot is…


Book cover of Sex Secrets: Postcards from the Bed

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

This book is the follow-up to a postcard series and book called Lockdown Secrets, where Eleanor who owns a stationery shop in London, sent out blank postcards that people anonymously returned to her with their stories, secrets, and confessions.

The Sex Secrets series really puts light to the fact that there really is no normal when it comes to how we think about, feel, and have sex. Firstly the cards are beautiful, some of them almost works of art – you can feel people’s personalities in them. Some are heartbreaking, others heartwarming they take you through a complete range of emotions.

If you think you know what’s happening in other people’s sex lives then think again.

By Eleanor Tattersfield,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sex Secrets as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Ever wondered what we get up to behind closed doors? This anonymous collection of postcards will show you, in glorious technicolour detail.

Following on from her bestselling Lockdown Secrets, queen of postcards Eleanor Tattersfield turns her attention to the sex lives of the nation. This time round, she put out a call on social media for people to reveal their deepest, darkest, funniest and even their most unsavoury sex habits, in postcard form. She was overwhelmed by replies, and the very best of them are collected in this book, hand-crafted and beautifully decorated. You'll be shocked and seduced by the…


Book cover of Mind The Gap: The truth about desire and how to futureproof your sex life

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

Quite simply this book explains why nearly everything that we have been taught about desire is wrong which explains why so many of us misunderstand that desire changing doesn’t mean that it’s completely lost.

On page one Dr Gurney addresses the fact that we have unrealistic socially-set standards when it comes to sex, and these result in a huge number of us feeling in some way that we are failing at sex ( and also that we are the only ones because nobody talks about it ).

Loss of desire is one of the most common presentations to psychosexual therapists and so much of it is in the mismatch of what the science tells us, and what society tells us. I honestly feel that if every woman, and couple read this book that they would feel more positive, more empowered, and more able to change their sex lives and…

By Karen Gurney,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Mind The Gap as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'This book taught me so much about female desire. A must read!' Cherry Healey

Did you know that there is an orgasm gap of around 30% between heterosexual couples when they have sex?

In Mind The Gap, Dr Karen Gurney, a clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist, explores not just this gap, but the gaps in our knowledge of so much of the most important new science around sex and desire.

In this book, you will learn that nearly everything that you've been led to believe about female sexuality isn't actually true. And that, despite what you might think, it is…


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Book cover of Tap Dancing on Everest: A Young Doctor's Unlikely Adventure

Tap Dancing on Everest By Mimi Zieman,

Tap Dancing on Everest, part coming-of-age memoir, part true-survival adventure story, is about a young medical student, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor raised in N.Y.C., who battles self-doubt to serve as the doctor—and only woman—on a remote Everest climb in Tibet.

The team attempts a new route up…

Book cover of A Manual for Being Human

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

As the title suggests, this book is a manual for the human experience.

Dr. Soph breaks her knowledge and experience out of the therapy room and tackles the themes of how you got here, what’s keeping you here, and how you can move forward. This book just makes so much sense, and gives you the tools to understand and help yourself, and explains concepts like how our brains use shortcuts to make sense of the world; and how this can then show up and influence us.

What I love about this book is that it helps you to question, and to think about what works for you, what doesn’t, and what you want to do about it. 

By Sophie Mort,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Manual for Being Human as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

'Clear, accessible wise advice for modern minds.' Matt Haig

'A Manual for Being Human is the motherlode, enlightening on why you might feel and behave how you do.' The Times

'A truly wonderful, warm and wise one-stop shop for any inquisitive human. Packed full of prompts, practical tips and pep talks that will guide you through any situation.' Emma Gannon

'There is a damn good reason why people are struggling. We are not raised to understand ourselves. In fact, we are raised misunderstanding ourselves and fearing the very thing that makes us, us.' Dr Soph

Do…


Book cover of Sex in the Brain: A Neuropsychosexual Approach to Love and Intimacy

Brett Kahr Author Of Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies

From my list on the secret underbelly of sexual psychology.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have worked in the mental health profession for over forty years. Currently, I serve as Senior Fellow at the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London, and as Visiting Professor of Psychoanalysis and Mental Health at Regent’s University London, as well as Honorary Director of Research at the Freud Museum London. I also hold posts as Chair of the Scholars Committee of the British Psychoanalytic Council and as Honorary Fellow of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy, and I have authored eighteen books and have served as series editor for some eighty-five further titles.  

Brett's book list on the secret underbelly of sexual psychology

Brett Kahr Why did Brett love this book?

Janice Hiller, a British clinical psychologist and psychosexual therapist who has taught for many years at the esteemed organisation Tavistock Relationships in Central London, has just released a new book on the interrelationship between sexual functioning and brain health, thus integrating psychoanalytical theory with neuroscience.

Hiller has devoted chapters to such compelling topics as kissing, commitment, parenting, infidelity, divorce, and so many more, teaching us all a great deal about the complex and intimate relationship between our brains and our minds and between our bodies and our sexual tendencies. Well-written and scientifically up-to-date, I have found this book to be a truly original endeavor at understanding the many underlying complexities of adult sexual behaviors.

By Janice Hiller,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sex in the Brain as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Sex in the Brain gives an overview of what happens in the brain during the development of romantic and sexual relationships, from the intense emotions accompanying the early stages of a new relationship to kissing, touch, arousal, orgasm, commitment, parenting, infidelity, breaking up or staying together.

Neuroscience has uncovered fascinating insights into the brain processes involved in human drives and sexual behaviour, and romantic relationships are now a particular focus of attention. With advanced imaging techniques and hormone testing methods, neurotransmitters and brain regions in humans can now be investigated, allowing researchers to describe the complex neural patterns that enable…


Book cover of Stepdog: A Memoir

Michael Konik Author Of Ella in Europe: An American Dog's International Adventures

From my list on inspiring dogs.

Why am I passionate about this?

Michael Konik is the author of 13 books of fiction, poetry, and journalism, including Ella in Europe: An American Dog's International Adventure, an LA Times best-seller and the inspiration for the Animal Planet series Ella & Me. Surrounded by dogs since toddler age, Konik is currently the owner of Benji, a Golden Doodle, and Billie, a magnificent mutt.

Michael's book list on inspiring dogs

Michael Konik Why did Michael love this book?

Eddie, the four-legged title character, seems determined to destroy his owner's relationship with a new love. But every dog, even the naughtiest, worst-behaved has the magical canine ability to mend broken hearts. This memoir is a kind of romantic comedy between an unwanted “intruder” and Eddie the Protector, who learns to trust and make nice.

By Mireya Navarro,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Stepdog as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Stepdog is the hilarious and heartwarming tale of a woman who has finally met the man of her dreams—and the dog of her nightmares. 

Winner of the June 2015 Elle Readers Prize

Lots of dogs eat shoes, bite people, destroy furniture . . . but Eddie tried to destroy a marriage.

After more than three decades of happy single womanhood, Mia Navarro wasn’t really looking to change her relationship status. The idea of being a step-anything to anyone was foreign to her, something she never thought about. . . . Until she fell in love with Jim and agreed to…


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Book cover of Brother. Do. You. Love. Me.

Brother. Do. You. Love. Me. By Manni Coe, Reuben Coe (illustrator),

Brother. Do. You. Love. Me. is a true story of brotherly love overcoming all. Reuben, who has Down's syndrome, was trapped in a care home during the pandemic, spiralling deeper into a non-verbal depression. From isolation and in desperation, he sent his older brother Manni a text, "brother. do. you.…

Book cover of Heartbreak: New Approaches to Healing - Recovering from Lost Love and Mourning

Sam Carr Author Of All the Lonely People: Conversations on Loneliness

From my list on the psychological challenges of being human.

Why am I passionate about this?

I guess we all have a "calling." Mine has always been to explore the deeper, darker, less palatable aspects of being human. I’m a bit like a space explorer of the human psyche. I’m lucky in the sense that my day job permits me to research, teach, and better understand things like love, death, and loneliness. I’ve been researching and writing about them for many years now. I always treasure books that help me to shed light on these themes. They are like shiny pebbles or jewels that I pick up and keep in my pocket. I hope you enjoy and learn from some of the treasures in my personal collection!  

Sam's book list on the psychological challenges of being human

Sam Carr Why did Sam love this book?

I think I read this book when I was heartbroken. I imagine that’s why most people would initially gravitate to it.

Heartbreak is something we are all likely to experience at least once in a lifetime. I remember how sick I was of being told by other people that they "understood" how I felt and that they’d "been there too." Ginette Paris didn’t do that. In fact, I remember how she stated that nobody really knows what YOU feel like when you’re heartbroken because nobody has lost exactly what YOU’VE lost. There’s never been a loss exactly like your relationship before because what you lost is in some sense completely unique.

The book is full of revelations about heartbreak that brought me far more comfort than the usual well-meaning platitudes.

By Ginette Paris,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Heartbreak as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Look at your broken heart with the curiosity of a naturalist, as you would pay close attention to your pet, to understand what is going on.

The pain of mourning and heartbreak is neurologically similar to being submitted to torture. There seems to be only one way to end that agony and to limit somatic damage; neurobiology calls it an evolutionary jump and psychologists call it an increase in consciousness.

Past theories of grief therapy considered recovery from the point of view of stages: a one-year cycle of mourning was supposed to heal the heart. Not so! A true Liberation…


Book cover of I Am an Executioner: Love Stories

Kenan Orhan Author Of I Am My Country: And Other Stories

From my list on polyphonic story collections.

Why am I passionate about this?

Perhaps because I get bored easily, or maybe because I hear voices, I have found that my writing lends itself to exploration (different points of view, traditions, styles). I write to learn and to play. I distrust writers whose characters all sound like them, live lives like their own. It feels completely unfanciful, completely disinterested in the long literary tradition of make-believe. Writing and reading, at the end of the day, are ways for me to escape boredom meaningfully, and why should I wish to do that with stories that don’t offer up a small amount of the great kaleidoscope that is life?

Kenan's book list on polyphonic story collections

Kenan Orhan Why did Kenan love this book?

This collection starts with an incredibly tender and starcrossed tale of romance, but from the point of view of a tiger in the zoo who has fallen in love with its handler, and ends with a moving story of the struggles of fatherhood as relayed by an insectoid alien from a faraway planet recently colonized by humans.

Regardless of how frequently the reader might feel off-footed by the varied narrators, the payoff is always immense. These are equal parts delicate and vicious tales about love in all its grotesque forms.

There is a greater unity throughout the world than I am often able to see, and collections like this not only erode the differences between peoples and cultures, but even between species, and remind us that life in all its forms is vibrant, traumatic, and significant.

By Rajesh Parameswaran,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Am an Executioner as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A Bengal tiger wakes up one morning realising he is ravenously in love. A pompous railway supervisor in a remote Indian province bites off more than he can chew when a peculiar new clerk arrives on his doorstep. In another place and in another time, a secret agent who spends her days watching the front door of an unknown quarry discovers something she isn't meant to. An immigrant housewife in a Midwestern town geeing up for Thanksgiving makes a wish she may come to regret. And a small and famous country's only executioner claims his conscience is as clean as…


Book cover of Salaam, with Love

Jenn P. Nguyen Author Of Fake It Till You Break It

From my list on YA books about first love and discovering yourself.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a kid, I’ve always loved reading romances, even if it meant spending my recesses in the library and reading through lunchtime. This resulted in my 6th-grade teacher giving me the weirdest look when she caught me reading a romance at school. When I started writing, I wrote a couple of different genres to test out, but YA contemporary romances were always the ones that stuck with me. I loved writing about the fluttery feelings of first love and the complexities of an uncertain future. It also helps that I met my husband, the love of my life, in high school so I’ll always have a soft spot for books that make me feel that way again.

Jenn's book list on YA books about first love and discovering yourself

Jenn P. Nguyen Why did Jenn love this book?

My favorite genre to read and write is romance, but there are different levels to them. I got the honor to read Salaam, With Love before it came out and although the romance in here is more subtle and sweet, this book is definitely about loving yourself. About discovering who you are and being proud of where you’re from. Although our lives and cultures are different, I can definitely relate to Dua’s journey of self-discovery and was rooting for her every step of the way. 

By Sara Sharaf Beg,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Salaam, with Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This heartfelt and humorous YA contemporary follows Dua, who spends the month of Ramadan making unexpected discoveries about family, faith, and first love.

"Beg beautifully crafts a comforting tale filled with fun characters and excellent Muslim representation.”--Aamna Qureshi, author of The Lady or the Lion

"[A] love letter to Islam, capturing all the wonderful nuances of faith and culture."--Adiba Jaigirdar, author of Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating

Being crammed into a house in Queens with her cousins is not how Dua envisions her trip to New York City. But here she is, spending the holy month of Ramadan…


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Book cover of Me and The Times: My wild ride from elevator operator to New York Times editor, columnist, and change agent (1967-97)

Me and The Times By Robert W. Stock,

Me and The Times offers a fresh perspective on those pre-internet days when the Sunday sections of The New York Times shaped the country’s political and cultural conversation. Starting in 1967, Robert Stock edited seven of those sections over 30 years, innovating and troublemaking all the way.

His memoir is…

Book cover of The Love Dare

Gina Holmes Author Of Dry as Rain

From my list on avoiding relationship mistakes.

Why am I passionate about this?

I chose this topic because I learned a lot of self-defense mechanisms in childhood that did not continue to serve me well as an adult. This behavior carried into my romantic relationships more than anywhere else, and for a long time, my "picker" was broken, meaning I kept picking unhealthy people to be in relationships. Reading books like the ones I’ve recommended on this list helped change that for me over time. My heart breaks for other women and men whose pickers are also broken. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Get yourself these books. 

Gina's book list on avoiding relationship mistakes

Gina Holmes Why did Gina love this book?

This was a book that when I was trying to save my marriage, really taught me what it meant to choose love even when I wasn’t feeling it. You will be asked to do acts of kindness and selflessness each day as part of this challenge and even if it doesn’t change the other person an iota, I promise it will change the dare-taker. It’s a good tool and could mean all the difference for two non-abusive people that were at least at some point, in love with one another. 

By Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Love Dare as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Unconditional love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

The Love Dare, the New York Times No. 1 best seller that has sold five million copies and was major plot device in the popular movie Fireproof, is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It’s time to…


Book cover of What We Want: A Journey Through Twelve of Our Deepest Desires
Book cover of Sex Secrets: Postcards from the Bed
Book cover of Mind The Gap: The truth about desire and how to futureproof your sex life

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