Fans pick 74 books like Mind The Gap

By Karen Gurney,

Here are 74 books that Mind The Gap fans have personally recommended if you like Mind The Gap. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of What We Want: A Journey Through Twelve of Our Deepest Desires

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

Whilst this is a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ book that takes you through the experiences of clients in therapy, Charlotte also shares her side of the story as the therapist in question. This bridges both her professional and personal experiences, which completely draws you in.

There are so many thoughtful and interesting quotes throughout this book and I found myself scribbling notes the whole way through reading it. Whilst the book is provocatively titled around the topic of desire, it’s not all sexual or erotic. It connects with something that we all want in some way freedom, to belong, control, understanding, and love.

It’s a really smart book – not in an intimidating way, but in a ‘I wish I had written that’ kind of way. 

By Charlotte Fox Weber,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked What We Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Thoughtful, lucid and blessedly free of therapese . . . Weber's book is a powerful snapshot into the little bombs going off in the lives and homes of those around us' SUNDAY TIMES

'Finely crafted, profound and always generous . . . Made me feel excited to be alive' NATASHA LUNN

Our secret wants and desires are often hidden in a box. But what happens when you lift the lid?

Chloe is beautiful and fiercely bright, but her thirst for alcohol and attention is insatiable.

Sara resents being tied down to anything, but part of her craves stability.

Elliot is…


Book cover of Sex Secrets: Postcards from the Bed

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

This book is the follow-up to a postcard series and book called Lockdown Secrets, where Eleanor who owns a stationery shop in London, sent out blank postcards that people anonymously returned to her with their stories, secrets, and confessions.

The Sex Secrets series really puts light to the fact that there really is no normal when it comes to how we think about, feel, and have sex. Firstly the cards are beautiful, some of them almost works of art – you can feel people’s personalities in them. Some are heartbreaking, others heartwarming they take you through a complete range of emotions.

If you think you know what’s happening in other people’s sex lives then think again.

By Eleanor Tattersfield,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sex Secrets as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Ever wondered what we get up to behind closed doors? This anonymous collection of postcards will show you, in glorious technicolour detail.

Following on from her bestselling Lockdown Secrets, queen of postcards Eleanor Tattersfield turns her attention to the sex lives of the nation. This time round, she put out a call on social media for people to reveal their deepest, darkest, funniest and even their most unsavoury sex habits, in postcard form. She was overwhelmed by replies, and the very best of them are collected in this book, hand-crafted and beautifully decorated. You'll be shocked and seduced by the…


Book cover of Conversations on Love

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

This is a book that everyone should read. It’s a celebration of love in all its forms, and it brings together the most incredible range of experts and authors which makes it impossible for you not to widen your perspective, and start to think about things a little differently.

Love stories are such a critical part of our humanness – even if we are not in love, we will likely have some love in our lives and some experiences of it. The questions I get asked as a therapist are often about how we can make love, relationships, desire, and sex last love is so complex, and it continues to be one of life’s biggest mysteries; which is why this book feels so important.

I really felt like I emotionally connected to something in every conversation. 

By Natasha Lunn,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Conversations on Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

*THE TOP 10 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER*

'This book might just change your life' Sunday Times

'Wise, wonderful, moving and brilliant... will leave your heart in a much better place' Stylist

After years of feeling that love was always out of reach, journalist Natasha Lunn set out to understand how relationships work and evolve over a lifetime. She turned to authors and experts to learn about their experiences, as well as drawing on her own, asking: How do we find love? How do we sustain it? And how do we survive when we lose it?

In Conversations on Love she began…


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Book cover of Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

Traumatization and Its Aftermath By Antonieta Contreras,

A fresh take on the difference between trauma and hardship in order to help accurately spot the difference and avoid over-generalizations.

The book integrates the latest findings in brain science, child development, psycho-social context, theory, and clinical experiences to make the case that trauma is much more than a cluster…

Book cover of A Manual for Being Human

Kate Moyle Author Of The Science of Sex: Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered

From my list on thinking about sex and relationships differently.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by what makes people tick. Why people do what they do, how people can experience the same thing so differently, and why certain words like sex can create a shift in how people behave. As a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist it’s what I’m working on with people every day – and every day is different. My work outside the therapy room, hosting my podcast The Sexual Wellness Sessions and writing my book The Science Of Sex feels ironic in ways – I’m trying to normalise the conversations and break down the taboo so that less people end up in the therapy room feeling like they are the only one struggling.

Kate's book list on thinking about sex and relationships differently

Kate Moyle Why did Kate love this book?

As the title suggests, this book is a manual for the human experience.

Dr. Soph breaks her knowledge and experience out of the therapy room and tackles the themes of how you got here, what’s keeping you here, and how you can move forward. This book just makes so much sense, and gives you the tools to understand and help yourself, and explains concepts like how our brains use shortcuts to make sense of the world; and how this can then show up and influence us.

What I love about this book is that it helps you to question, and to think about what works for you, what doesn’t, and what you want to do about it. 

By Sophie Mort,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Manual for Being Human as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

'Clear, accessible wise advice for modern minds.' Matt Haig

'A Manual for Being Human is the motherlode, enlightening on why you might feel and behave how you do.' The Times

'A truly wonderful, warm and wise one-stop shop for any inquisitive human. Packed full of prompts, practical tips and pep talks that will guide you through any situation.' Emma Gannon

'There is a damn good reason why people are struggling. We are not raised to understand ourselves. In fact, we are raised misunderstanding ourselves and fearing the very thing that makes us, us.' Dr Soph

Do…


Book cover of The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment

Zachary Zane Author Of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

From my list on overcoming sexual shame.

Why am I passionate about this?

As the sex and relationship advice columnist at Men’s Health Magazine, I’m obviously pretty damn obsessed with sex. I find it fascinating on so many levels, which is why I not only have a ton of it but also made it my career. For so long, I struggled with sexual shame, and one thing I realized as a writer is that I’m not special. Sure, I’ve probably been to more sex parties than you, but if I’m struggling with shame, being bisexual, and embracing my kinks, then other folks are, too. And just like I’m obsessed with sex, I’ve become obsessed with helping others remove sexual shame.

Zachary's book list on overcoming sexual shame

Zachary Zane Why did Zachary love this book?

While some aspects of our sexuality are innate, many are born through pivotal sexual experiences in our lives. This book breaks this down and encourages readers to unpack where their sexual desires came from so they can remove shame and have healthy sexual relationships. 

It encouraged me to be introspective about the root of my desires. For so long, I had steered clear of this. I believed that feeling the need to understand the origin of our desires was coming from a place of sex-negativity, an attempt to “justify” our current sexual behavior, which I don’t think requires justification. 

But after reading Morin’s book, I felt I understood my sexual desires better than ever before, and it led to me having more meaningful, passionate, and wild sex.

By Jack Morin,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Erotic Mind as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Challenging accepted theories about what makes for terrific sex, The Erotic Mind is a breakthrough exploration of the least understood dimensions of human sexuality—the psychology of desire, arousal, and fulfillment. Nationally known sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin offers a bold new perspective that celebrates the joys of Eros without denying its risks.

Based on an in-depth analysis of over 1,000 provocative stories of peak sexual experiences, The Erotic Mind offers clear, accessible guidance on how anyone can utilize his or her own peak encounters and fantasies as powerful tools of self-discovery.

The Erotic Mind explains the many paradoxes of erotic…


Book cover of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It

Michael Castleman Author Of Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age

From my list on sex and sexuality.

Why am I passionate about this?

During a career spanning almost 50 years, Michael Castleman has become the world’s most popular sex expert you’ve probably never heard of.  He has answered more sexuality questions than anyone else on the planet.

Michael's book list on sex and sexuality

Michael Castleman Why did Michael love this book?

Most men think sex is largely about intercourse, and that intercourse is how women get to orgasm. Actually, the organ that triggers orgasm in women is the clitoris, which sits outside the vagina an inch or so above it nestled beneath the top junction of the vaginal lips. Only a small fraction of women can work up to orgasm during intercourse. Most need gentle, direct, extended clitoral caresses, by hand, mouth, or sex toy. This book explains the primacy of the clitoris in women’s pleasure. It should be required reading for all men.

By Laurie Mintz,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Becoming Cliterate as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

We've been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don't orgasm this way. We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm-clitoral stimulation-from how we feel we should orgasm-penetration. As a result, we've created a pleasure gap between women and men:

50% of 18-35-year-old women say they have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner 64% of women vs 91% of men said they had an orgasm at their last sexual…


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Book cover of I Am Taurus

I Am Taurus By Stephen Palmer,

The constellation we know as Taurus goes all the way back to cave paintings of aurochs at Lascaux. This book traces the story of the bull in the sky, a journey through the history of what has become known as the sacred bull.

Each of the sections is written from…

Book cover of Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

Richard Ratay Author Of Don't Make Me Pull Over!: An Informal History of the Family Road Trip

From my list on make you laugh while you learn.

Why am I passionate about this?

I love learning about how the world we know came to be the way it is. That’s another way of saying I love history. But not the dry, boring history we all remember from school. I want to know more about the entrepreneurial risk-takers, eccentric inventors, and strange circumstances that somehow shaped the world we know today. I want to be fascinated. What’s more, I want to laugh and be entertained while I’m reading and learning. I want every page to reward my attention with some amazing fact or a hearty laugh. That’s what the books on my list do. I hope you love them as much as I have!

Richard's book list on make you laugh while you learn

Richard Ratay Why did Richard love this book?

Roach does for science what Bryson does for travel and history. She brings her subjects to life with a unique blend of humor, history, and good old-fashioned firsthand detective work. To provide readers a (ahem!) deeper understanding of the physiology of human intercourse for this intriguing look into the science of sex, Roach even talks her hesitant husband into doing the deed while researchers monitor the proceedings via a magnetic imaging scanner!

I may not be ready to go that far for my readers but I appreciate Roach’s gumption to do it for hers. Between Roach’s courage to probe every aspect of her subject and deft ability to relate her findings with wit and insight, I found Bonk to be nearly as enjoyable as the topic it explores.

By Mary Roach,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Bonk as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In Bonk, the best-selling author of Stiff turns her outrageous curiosity and insight on the most alluring scientific subject of all: sex. Can a person think herself to orgasm? Why doesn't Viagra help women-or, for that matter, pandas? Can a dead man get an erection? Is vaginal orgasm a myth? Mary Roach shows us how and why sexual arousal and orgasm-two of the most complex, delightful, and amazing scientific phenomena on earth-can be so hard to achieve and what science is doing to make the bedroom a more satisfying place.


Book cover of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Sara Nasserzadeh Author Of Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love

From my list on how to move from surviving to thriving in your relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an author, speaker, researcher, and thinking partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality, intercultural fluency, and relationships. I have over two decades of experience working with individuals, couples, companies, and governments across 40 countries. I truly believe that we can create world peace one relationship at a time, and embrace it as my mission. My third book in English, Love By Design, is the result of two-decade-long research on the status of thriving relationships and its key ingredients. These could be applied to relationships in all spaces, from bedrooms (most intimate) to the boardrooms (most public).

Sara's book list on how to move from surviving to thriving in your relationships

Sara Nasserzadeh Why did Sara love this book?

Esther Perel's exploration of the intricate dance between intimacy and desire resonates with many couples who are in long-term relationships, want it to work so desperately, and yet find themselves stuck. This book builds on the concepts of differentiation and attachment styles while inviting readers to embrace a new paradigm of eroticism within committed relationships.

What resonates deeply is Perel's grounded yet unflinching approach to addressing taboo topics and dismantling societal norms. Through her eloquent prose and compelling case studies, she illuminates the path to unlocking erotic intelligence and reigniting passion in long-term partnerships.

By Esther Perel,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Mating in Captivity as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful,…


Book cover of Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships

Laurie Mintz Author Of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It

From my list on improving your sex life.

Why am I passionate about this?

Before children, I had a robust sex drive. When my second daughter was born, poof—it disappeared. Upon asking, I discovered that my friends were also struggling. I immersed myself in the research literature and found solutions—yet was dismayed that this information wasn’t readily available to women. So, I translated the scientific literature into an accessible self-help book. My passion was ignited. I immersed myself in sex education and therapy, publishing my second book based on the experiences of students in a university-level human sexuality course I teach. I find deep meaning translating sexual science for the lay public and helping people gain knowledge and comfort with sex.

Laurie's book list on improving your sex life

Laurie Mintz Why did Laurie love this book?

When I chatted with the authors about their motivation to write this book, they said that they wanted to write a book on desire that they’d feel comfortable recommending to diverse clients, as none currently existed.

I not only agree with their assessment, but I was excited to see that they accomplished their goal! As a sex therapist, I can affirm that desire is one of the most confusing and troubling issues that individuals and couples bring to therapy.

This book explains desire, normalizes desire differences, and provides an inclusive and compassionate road map to clients struggling with it. I plan to recommend this book to many clients for years to come.

By Lauren Fogel Mersy, Jennifer A. Vencill,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Desire as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A radically inclusive, sex-positive guide to managing the inevitable libido differences in our relationships, authored by two certified sex therapists who are passionate about good sex

Desire invites readers of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures to shed the shame and misinformation that surround the topic of sex and instead learn from 2 certified sex therapists about how libido really works. Desire differences are one of the most common relationship issues, yet, with fewer than 1,100 certified sex therapists in the country, it can be difficult to find help. This essential book breaks the mold of the sex…


Book cover of Quit Porn and Get Rich: The Unspoken Rule of Successful People

Havard Mela Author Of How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn and Other Distractions

From my list on porn addiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

As someone who has felt the consequences of spending too much time online on distractions, I am compelled to share how much better life can be when we are conscious of the time we spend online. In my early twenties, I experienced digital addiction. I managed to turn things around by cultivating discipline and finding purpose in life. In the process, I developed a deep interest in neuroscience and psychology. My book explains how you can take conscious control of your life in a practical way based on my experience backed up by research.

Havard's book list on porn addiction

Havard Mela Why did Havard love this book?

This is a good book where the author shares his experiences with overcoming porn addiction and how it improved his life. It is an inspirational read that will help motivate you for this journey.

The book also explains addiction and what happens to the brain if you watch too much porn. I recommend this book as I found it inspiring and relatable.

By Martin Prescott,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Quit Porn and Get Rich as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Many situations we face require a particular predisposition and specific behavior. We often can’t behave properly, not only because of a lack of awareness, but also because of limitations posed by our bodies. It is very interesting how much depends on the well-being and physical fitness of your body. Unfortunately, many people don’t know much about the processes that drive it. I will do my best to make sure that in this book you learn about important issues related to your physical well-being and how to use them in practice.

Authorities on the subject:

"Any failure to appreciate the impact…


Book cover of What We Want: A Journey Through Twelve of Our Deepest Desires
Book cover of Sex Secrets: Postcards from the Bed
Book cover of Conversations on Love

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