The best books to improve your sex life

This book is written for men about how to pleasure women (with oral sex).

The author, a well-known sex therapist, reveals at the start of the book how he discovered the art of cunnilingus. He suffered from premature ejaculation and thought he could thus never please a woman—until he discovered (in his own words) that “the tongue is mightier than the sword!” 

Ian writes from a knowledgeable, compassionate voice, giving readers information and skills to please their female partners. I’ve recommended this book to countless individuals. The term “cliterate” first appeared on the back of this book cover.

When I wanted to use it on my book cover, I called Ian and asked his permission. He graciously said, “Of course! The more cliterate people in the world, the better!”

Mindfulness is a powerful practice, proven to decrease stress and help us live more in the present moment. Acclaimed psychologist and researcher Dr. Lori Brotto is the brilliant pioneer to apply mindfulness to sexuality.

Dr. Brotto had been using mindfulness with great success to help her patients and she thus wrote a book to spread the word more broadly. In this book, she explains the reasons people have sexual problems and provides easy, effective exercises to help them. And, even if a reader doesn’t have a sexual problem, mindfulness can simply enhance sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

I have recommended this book to countless clients and students. I meditate each morning and practice mindfulness myself, inside and outside of the bedroom, and I’ve learned a lot from Dr. Brotto’s work.

I consider this the most comprehensive book on sex that exists.

It is chockful of knowledge and sage advice, all based on science, yet written in a manner that will make you laugh out loud. If I have a question about sex that I don’t know the answer to, this is the first book I open. I also often recommend this book to clients who simply need to get comfortable talking about sex as the tone is so accepting and fun.

I also quote this book quite often in my undergraduate Psychology of Human Sexuality class and the students love it so much that on the last day, I raffle off several copies.

When I chatted with the authors about their motivation to write this book, they said that they wanted to write a book on desire that they’d feel comfortable recommending to diverse clients, as none currently existed.

I not only agree with their assessment, but I was excited to see that they accomplished their goal! As a sex therapist, I can affirm that desire is one of the most confusing and troubling issues that individuals and couples bring to therapy.

This book explains desire, normalizes desire differences, and provides an inclusive and compassionate road map to clients struggling with it. I plan to recommend this book to many clients for years to come.

I wish more people in general and men in specific knew about this book. It includes an enormous amount of information, all based in science (which is really important when it comes to sex education), yet written in a compassionate, clear, and understandable way. 

While this book is written to help men with their sexuality, the women in their lives will no doubt benefit from what they learn. I truly think that if all men read this book, both they and their partners would have fewer sexual issues and much more pleasure and connection.