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Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire Paperback – Illustrated, April 24, 2018

by Lori A. Brotto (Author), Emily Nagoski (Foreword)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 365 ratings
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AS SEEN IN “THE PRINCIPLES OF PLEASURE” ON NETFLIX

ALSO FEATURED IN BUSTLE • DAN SAVAGE LOVECAST • JEZEBEL • NEW YORK TIMES

Find out how mindfulness is the key to cultivating desire, increasing sexual pleasure, and finding joy in intimacy.

Studies show that approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives, with lack of interest in sex being by far the most common―and the most distressing. And when sex suffers, so do all other areas of life.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Better Sex through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a revolutionary approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside―and outside of―the bedroom. A pioneer in the use of mindfulness for treating sexual difficulties, Brotto has helped hundreds of women cultivate more exciting, fulfilling sexual experiences.

In this accessible, relatable book, she explores the various reasons for sexual problems, such as stress and incessant multitasking, and tells the stories of many of the women she has treated over the years. She also provides easy, effective exercises that readers can do on their own to increase desire and sexual enjoyment, whether their goal is to overcome a sexual difficulty or simply give their love life a boost.


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Previous page
  1. Print length
    272 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Greystone Books
  4. Publication date
    April 24, 2018
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1771642351
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1771642354
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A masterpiece and masterclass in female sexuality."
―Ian Kerner, New York Times-bestselling author of She Comes First


Review

"A masterpiece and masterclass in female sexuality." — Ian Kerner, New York Times-bestselling author of She Comes First

"A practical and useful reference for readers interested in testing out Brotto’s approach of cultivating mindfulness as a therapy for sexual dysfunction" — Publishers Weekly

"Dr. Brotto shares the best that sexual science has to offer in straightforward exercises women and their partners can try at home. This book will change your life." — Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of The Coregasm Workout

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Greystone Books; Illustrated edition (April 24, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1771642351
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1771642354
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 365 ratings

About the authors

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  1. Emily Nagoski

    Emily Nagoski

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    Emily Nagoski has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a minor in Human Sexuality from Indiana University, and a MS in Counseling, also from IU, including a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has been a sex educator for twenty-five years. She lives in western Massachusetts with a strange cat, two dogs, and a cartoonist.

    See more on the author's page
  2. Lori A. Brotto

    Lori A. Brotto

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC located at BC Women's Hospital. Dr. Brotto holds a Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health. She is the director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory where research primarily focuses on developing and testing psychological and mindfulness-based interventions for women with sexual desire and arousal difficulties and women with chronic genital pain. Dr. Brotto is an Associate Editor for the Archives of Sexual Behavior, has 150 peer-reviewed publications, is the Sexual Health expert writer for the Globe and Mail, and is frequently featured in the media on topics related to sexuality. Her book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire is a trade book of her research demonstrating the benefits of mindfulness for women's sexual concerns, and is in press with Greystone Publishing and will be released in April 2018.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
365 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Chelsea Dighton
5.0 out of 5 stars First timer
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2023
Verified Purchase
Only ready a little bit so far but what I have read has been very interesting and taught me so much about the fact I’m not along in this world with what I’m going through . Young or old and anything in between all woman and men face issues with sexually relationships. It’s common and no one should really be ashamed they should just find an outreach and get the help . I would recommend this book
3 people found this helpful
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Jazmin Wilkerson
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!
Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2022
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I have always loved mindfulness and it has helped me in countless ways. This book has made me realize that I am not alone and that I can use mindfulness to help get passed my sexual difficulties and feel again. I came across this book while watching a masterclass on women's sexuality and felt compelled to read it and I am glad I did.
13 people found this helpful
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Matthew M. Austin
4.0 out of 5 stars Great tour through the research on sexual desire
Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2021
Verified Purchase
I was first formally introduced to being fully present in the moment and practicing one pointed attention by Eknath Easwaran’s teachings in 1996. Exploring this from a secular modern psychological perspective is wonderful.

The author makes a strong case that nearly all aspects of sex are improved by mindfulness. I get it, and largely agree; however, there didn’t seem to be much leeway or ramping up for those who don’t find the practice as accessible.

In my experience the difference between something and nothing is vast, as one of my first yoga teachers shared. I think it is incredibly important to give people permission to practice meditation even one minute per day! Even that tiny bit builds momentum when practiced regularly. In some sense, I suspect we might find more measurable gains from 1 minute per day for 30 days than 30 minutes once every 30 days. 🙏
17 people found this helpful
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Misty
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and informative for any woman!
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2018
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Mindfulness research is clearly stated in an academic platform focused on sexuality in women. I loved the detailed studies and the specific exercises in the book. I have been practicing meditation and mindfulness casually for some time, and these exercises gave me new ideas and goals to work on to expand my practice. The book also validated my own personal journey of enhanced sexual satisfaction as I have learned to listen more to my body and quiet my mind chatter during sex...with amazing results. I highly recommend this book to anyone (male or female) interested in sex therapy or how to find ultimate satisfaction and joy in life! Mindfulness is the key to unlocking true peace and removing fear and anxiety from our lives.
43 people found this helpful
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Dr. J. Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2022
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Great exercises that are practical.
2 people found this helpful
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JayTN
5.0 out of 5 stars Great info
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2018
Verified Purchase
Proves how using mindfulness can improve on the sexual problems being faced by women and certain men. The problems are presented in clear fashion and then are followed by an explanation of techniques to overcome these disfunction sand problems.
10 people found this helpful
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Tammy R. Ellis
5.0 out of 5 stars It costs little to no money to implement.
Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2020
Verified Purchase
What an amazing book. I look forward to helping my clients in sex therapy bring mindfulness into their lives to help with sexual health problems.
6 people found this helpful
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Brittany
2.0 out of 5 stars Only For Women Who are Distracted
Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2023
Verified Purchase
This is a great introduction to mindfulness in general, but otherwise, it will only be helpful for women who have a general issue with their sex life that does not stem from anything hormonal or physical WHATSOEVER. This is for the woman who has absolutely 0 health concerns and isn't on any sort of medication that could affect your sex drive or response.

For specifically utilizing mindfulness in the context of sex, the book just keeps repeating the same notion of "How can you have great sex if, instead of focusing on the activity & being present, you're doing a to do list in your head?" Well...no duh. The book repeatedly sells you on the benefits of mindfulness in all areas of life, gives you a generic exercise, then proceeds to talk about how other physical health issues could play a factor in arousal....and then DOESN'T discuss these issues in any relevant way for those suffering from them or even refer you to other sources for those specific concerns.

If you're experiencing one or more of the below, this book will NOT specifically address these issues, possible treatments, or how mindfulness provides any benefits for these. It only mentions them in passing, saying "Oh yeah, and these exist"

-Pain with sex in general
-Pain with sex due to surgery and/or illness
-Lack of physical arousal despite mental arousal
-Lack of libido in general
-Lack of libido due to health issues or medications

While this book did inspire me to look further into Mindfulness from other resources, it did absolutely nothing for my libido or physical issues.
26 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

julia
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it!
Reviewed in Canada on November 15, 2022
Verified Purchase
I love this book. It has helped me personally. It’s a book I tend to go back to for reference.
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H. Akande
5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended read for women to get out of their head for pleasure
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 10, 2021
Verified Purchase
"The best cure for the body is a quiet mind." - Napoléon Bonaparte

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto is a recommended read for women struggling with low libido, lack of orgasms, or women who want to enhance their love life. The book is also a useful read for men wanting to help their female partner overcome sexual anxieties.

Drawing from the latest research, the author provides exercises and practices on mindfulness mediation to help women increase desire and experience sexual enjoyment.
2 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great way to introduce yourself to the workings of mindfulness
Reviewed in India on August 1, 2018
Verified Purchase
For anyone looking to delve into the benefits of mindfulness in a relationship or even outside of it. Helps you understand the effects of mindfulness on your sexuality and how you can apply it to yourself (and your partner) in order to be fully present during sexual encounters and otherwise.
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Mahika
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing!
Reviewed in India on August 15, 2019
Verified Purchase
Brilliantly written. Simple language and various steps for mindfulness are provided.
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AnnieC55
5.0 out of 5 stars Useful helpful guide for therapists and relationships
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 12, 2019
Verified Purchase
Great well written, thoughtful and helpful book.
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