Why am I passionate about this?

As someone who has felt the consequences of spending too much time online on distractions, I am compelled to share how much better life can be when we are conscious of the time we spend online. In my early twenties, I experienced digital addiction. I managed to turn things around by cultivating discipline and finding purpose in life. In the process, I developed a deep interest in neuroscience and psychology. My book explains how you can take conscious control of your life in a practical way based on my experience backed up by research.


I wrote

How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn and Other Distractions

By Havard Mela,

Book cover of How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn and Other Distractions

What is my book about?

This book provides a framework for overcoming porn addiction. You will find practical strategies based on the author’s experience that…

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction

Havard Mela Why did I love this book?

This book is kind of like the bible of porn addiction. It clearly shows the negative effects you can experience by showing both science and anecdotes.

This book was eye-opening for me as I saw many reports of similar side effects as I had experienced myself grappling with this problem. This book is a must-read book about this topic.

By Gary Wilson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Your Brain on Porn as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Over 100,000 copies sold!

When Your Brain on Porn was first published the porn industry and its lobbyists reacted with outrage. How could a commodity so popular - and so profitable - be a problem? But evidence of porn's addictiveness has been accumulating ever since. In February 2022 the peer-reviewed journal Psychological Medicine published a large-scale, longitudinal study that confirmed what many users and former users of digital pornography had figured out for themselves: 'porn - a male-dominated industry that targets a male-dominated audience - is associated with the erosion of the quality of men's sex lives.'


In the same…


Book cover of Quit Porn and Get Rich: The Unspoken Rule of Successful People

Havard Mela Why did I love this book?

This is a good book where the author shares his experiences with overcoming porn addiction and how it improved his life. It is an inspirational read that will help motivate you for this journey.

The book also explains addiction and what happens to the brain if you watch too much porn. I recommend this book as I found it inspiring and relatable.

By Martin Prescott,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Quit Porn and Get Rich as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Many situations we face require a particular predisposition and specific behavior. We often can’t behave properly, not only because of a lack of awareness, but also because of limitations posed by our bodies. It is very interesting how much depends on the well-being and physical fitness of your body. Unfortunately, many people don’t know much about the processes that drive it. I will do my best to make sure that in this book you learn about important issues related to your physical well-being and how to use them in practice.

Authorities on the subject:

"Any failure to appreciate the impact…


Book cover of The Porn Pandemic: A Simple Guide To Understanding And Ending Pornography Addiction For Men

Havard Mela Why did I love this book?

This book explains why watching porn is a problem and how ingrained it has become in our society. You will understand why watching porn can be harmful at a deep level after reading this book.

The book also explains why objectification is a problem and how watching porn contributes to it. It is an easy read and a good place to start for an introduction to the topic.

By Andrew Ferebee,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Porn Pandemic as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

WARNING: If You’re Watching Porn Every Day, You’re On a Slow Path To Sabotaging Your Life & Romantic Relationships.

Stop your porn addiction and take back your life and relationships with best selling author and men's coach Andrew Ferebee.

Congrats, on taking an important step toward acknowledging that porn has become a serious problem for you, and being open to solutions.

Now, it’s time to to learn how to stop an addiction to porn

Breaking addictive cycles is not easy, whether it’s booze, drugs or porn, but I’m here to guide you towards your personal freedom.

Why am I the…


Book cover of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence

Havard Mela Why did I love this book?

Lembke explains very well how the modern, technological environment we find ourselves in gives us too easy access to high-stimuli activities like gambling, social media, porn, and junk food.

With all the distractions and easy rewards we have around us, we need to be conscious in order to find balance and thrive. Otherwise, we will be very vulnerable to overconsumption, which has real consequences for our happiness and drive.

Even though this book covers other addictions as well, it is a great book to understand more about compulsive behavior and our dopamine system.

By Anna Lembke,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Dopamine Nation as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES and LOS ANGELES TIMES BESTSELLER
“Brilliant . . . riveting, scary, cogent, and cleverly argued.”—Beth Macy, author of Dopesick,
as heard on Fresh Air

This book is about pleasure. It’s also about pain. Most important, it’s about how to find the delicate balance between the two, and why now more than ever finding balance is essential. We’re living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting . . . The increased numbers, variety, and potency is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day…


Book cover of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Havard Mela Why did I love this book?

This book is not a book that covers porn addiction, but it is a great book for understanding and creating new habits. This will be of great value to you if you want to stop watching porn.

I got a lot of value from reading this book; it is one of the books that can improve your life, no matter your situation. 

By James Clear,

Why should I read it?

28 authors picked Atomic Habits as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The #1 New York Times bestseller. Over 4 million copies sold!

Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results

No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results.

If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the…


Explore my book 😀

How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn and Other Distractions

By Havard Mela,

Book cover of How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn and Other Distractions

What is my book about?

This book provides a framework for overcoming porn addiction. You will find practical strategies based on the author’s experience that will teach you exactly how to overcome porn addiction and transfer the newfound energy into other areas of your life, leading to remarkable results.

If you are having problems with how you spend time online and want to live a life without soul-sucking digital habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system and your mindset. You will get a proven system and insights that will help you eradicate unwanted behaviors from your life and live impeccably.

Book cover of Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction
Book cover of Quit Porn and Get Rich: The Unspoken Rule of Successful People
Book cover of The Porn Pandemic: A Simple Guide To Understanding And Ending Pornography Addiction For Men

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At What Cost, Silence?

By Karen Lynne Klink,

Book cover of At What Cost, Silence?

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Why am I passionate about this?

I am a child sexual abuse survivor who struggled for years with the help of therapy to become the person I am today. My sister, my mother, and I suffered years of emotional abuse by my father. When I was a child, my best friend (who also suffered abuse by her brother) and I made up stories that helped us navigate the situations in our families. I read, hiked, backpacked, and traveled alone for years in order to take risks and develop strength before attempting to write at age sixty-one. I love books that put me solidly in time and place and deeply empathize with characters who struggle and grow to become their genuine selves.

Karen's book list on strong emotion, excellent plotting, and vivid descriptions that put me securely in time and place

What is my book about?

Secrets, misunderstandings, and a plethora of family conflicts abound in this historical novel set along the Brazos River in antebellum Washington County, East Texas.

It is a compelling story of two neighboring plantation families and a few of the enslaved people who serve them. These two plantations are a microcosm of a country on the brink of war, encompassing a variety of issues: love and friendship between men, relationships between fathers and sons, sibling rivalry, slavery, and the position of women in society.

At What Cost, Silence?

By Karen Lynne Klink,

What is this book about?

Adrien Villere suspects he is not like other boys. For years, he desperately locks away his feelings and fears-but eventually, tragedy and loss drive him to seeking solace from his mentor, a young neighbor Jacob Hart. Jacob's betrayal of Adrien's trust, however, results in secret abuse, setting off a chain of actions from which neither Adrien's wise sister, Bernadette, nor his closest friend, Isaac, can turn him.

At What Cost, Silence presents two contrasting plantation families in a society where strict rules of belief and behavior are clear, and public opinion can shape an entire life. Centerstage are the Villeres,…


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