100 books like Hold the Line

Kevin Gilmartin is a psychologist and a retired sheriff’s deputy. I’ve known him for years. He is one of the funniest and wisest people around.

His book on managing a police career focuses on dealing with stress, controlling hypervigilance, and building resilience. Written in language cops and their families will recognize (he doesn’t mince words either), I know of no other book that so clearly describes the emotional and physical wear and tear of a police career and offers in-your-face advice on how to survive.

It is not easy to write a self-help book without sounding pompous or unrealistic. This is why The Dance of Intimacy became a model for my own self-help books.

Lerner’s writing is straightforward, personal, and practical. She is, as am I, an unabashed feminist who understands that strengthening and/or healing relationships require the participation of both partners. First published in 2009 I have recommended this wise book to hundreds of clients. 

I forgave Dr. Matsakis for the sexist title of her book written in 2005, nearly twenty years ago. While the title is hopelessly out of date, the range and scope of the information she provides is timeless.

She addresses topics other authors avoid such as sexual jealousy, loneliness, homecoming, and readjustment issues. Every chapter includes tips or exercises to help you tackle uncomfortable emotions and have difficult conversations with yourself and your loved one. She does a particularly good job writing about how children are affected by their parents’ job-related trauma.

Stephanie Conn had “cred.” She is a cop turned psychologist, and the daughter and wife of law enforcement officers.

Her book is both well researched and easy to read. What sets it apart from other books is that in every chapter she has separate sections specifically addressing the concerns and options for family members, civilian employees, and police administrators.

Written in the first person, I felt as though I was having a leisurely conversation with a wise, experienced woman who knows the police culture and is more than generous with her suggestions about navigating the ups and downs of a law enforcement career.

This book moved me at a very deep level, because Professor Frost makes the content very personal.

He wrote it when he was suffering (physically and emotionally), and his own pain made him acutely aware of ways that other people can alleviate pain (or conversely, make emotional pain become toxic). Many day-to-day workplace activities create emotional pain (e.g., a negative performance review, a downsizing decision) but people’s responses make all the difference.

Professor Frost’s focus is on managers who operate as “toxin handlers” in their workplaces, but any of us can be toxin handlers for our coworkers. The book helped me to be more mindful of workplace pain points and be more proactive in supporting my colleagues. 

The late Elizabeth Wurtzel’s Prozac Nation is brilliantly constructed, intelligent, gritty, direct, even sardonic at times. She was a no-bullshit writer, a forerunner in the field of literary nonfiction, one of the first writers of her generation to tell the truth about mental illness and bulldoze the taboo of stigma related to this otherwise unpalatable topic.  

In this memoir, she takes us by the hand and pulls us tenderly at times, and forcefully at other times, into her intimate world of mental illness. Even as a little girl away at camp she struggles with depression and contemplations of life and death; she attempts suicide for the first time at camp. Later, as an award-winning Harvard student, we see her deteriorate further into madness, until at last she is prescribed Prozac, and things turn around. While the meds help her, she also had foresight into the dangers of pharmaceutical companies, and… show more.

This comprehensive book provides information on the impact of COVID worldwide as it is currently understood, so future researchers will have a basis for comparison. The book’s authors address factors such as lockdowns, job loss, grief, and uncertainty that have led to depression, distress, anxiety, and PTSD. Also covered is how different world populations as refugees, at-risk populations as the elderly and frail, and roles as parents have been both mentally and physically impacted. This information will help communities develop programs to help relieve mental health concerns and protect people against similar threats in years to come. The book also includes wellness activities like meditation that help reduce the negative effects of COVID on mental health.

This is one of my favorite books about Shamanism.

Harner knows very well what shamanism is, as he experienced it himself many times in the Amazonian forestay and is one of the first academic anthropologists to experience altered states of consciousness and shamanism firsthand himself, and he recommended it to the world!

I am familiar with very few professors who are so bold, straightforward, and devoid of bullsh*t. He admires shamanism, and this is clear from the book. He also gives some practical examples of how to practice shamanism, which can be very useful.  

I’ve read this book about a dozen times in the past fifteen years, and I find new nuggets of wisdom with each visit. I was first convinced that I could overcome anxiety by reading Dr. Low’s strong conviction that there are no hopeless cases. He breaks down the root causes of mental health issues and describes cognitive-behavioral techniques for overcoming anger, negative judgments against oneself, fears, interpersonal conflicts, and many other ailments. His pithy sayings are easy to remember and have become the backbone of the self-help program Recovery International. Written in the 1950s, the examples and language can be somewhat dated – such as streetcars, elevator operators, and clotheslines – but his great love for his patients and his understanding of the human mind are timeless. 

While the conversation around mental health still has a long way to go to be totally free of stigma, men’s mental health is especially in need of being more openly discussed without shame. When I read Some Sort of Happy, I was thrilled and grateful to find it features a hero struggling with anxiety and an OCD diagnosis. There is a lot of room for the romance genre to step up and show that the stereotypical view of what a ‘strong’ man looks like doesn’t line up with reality and that there are so many ways to be valid and worthy of love. Melanie Harlow does an amazing job at that in Some Sort of Happy, and she instantly became one of my favourite authors after I read this book.