100 books like Here Lies My Heart

This book became a lifeline for me when I was going through an unhappily difficult and extremely stressful time. I felt as if it was written for me as a form of salve for my lack of trust in myself and my life at this point.

Rilke is wise, knowing, and reassuring about the vicissitudes of our emotional journeys. He encouraged me to hold onto myself in an emotional sense. To seek my own inner counsel and to not panic when my life seemed to unravel. I love his discourse on faith, solitude, trust, and his dissection of what it is to be an artist.

I found this a profoundly important and moving book when I was wavering about the bigger picture of life.

I love this book because Cheryl Strayed loved and was loved by her mother in exactly the same way that I loved and was loved by my mother. Although Cheryl was in her twenties when her mother died, and I was in my forties, I relate to her experience of grief and the endless longing of missing on a visceral level.

Strayed understands emotional pain and is able to relate to it in a way that brought tears to my eyes. I regularly wept while reading this book, yet she made me feel less alone. I love this book because it allows us more access to our broken hearts, while Strayed shines a guiding light toward healing and redemption.

I can not praise Edward St Aubyn highly enough. He is one of my favourite authors; I love his writing because it is heart-stoppingly true and affecting.

He portrays dysfunctional family dynamics with blistering accuracy, and I felt less alone reading this because I have been haunted by my own ancestral patterns repeating themselves through generations. I not only find St Aubyn laugh-out-loud funny, but he is also a brilliant observer of social mores.

Somehow, this book manages to be anti-spiritual while being one of the most spiritually aware books I have read. I love that St Aubyn does not try to make himself likable as a writer. There’s a ruthless fearlessness to his truth that I admire, which adds to his humanity.  

I love this book because it made me laugh, it made me cry, and it cracked my heart wide open. Although I am not a drug addict and have not struggled with addiction in the traditional sense, I found this book completely relatable in terms of emotional pain and trying to surmount psychological patterns.

Rowland Hill’s account of his childhood is hilarious and yet it is an affectionate portrayal of his family and their failings. There is the sense of not being understood by his father, which I experience. This is an intelligent, brilliant book about healing, spiritual awakening, truth, and bleak pain. In other words, it is an original book about life.

Relationship experts who studied couples for years in the Love Lab in Seattle, the Gottmans understand that bringing a baby into the orbit of a couple nearly inevitably strains even the best relationship. They discovered that 2/3rds of couples experienced a significant decline in relationship satisfaction after having a baby. Their six-step plan helps expectant couples prepare for this huge transition by showing them ways to create an environment that nurtures intimacy, appreciation, and self- and couple-care. 

In my practice with couples, this is my go-to recommendation for clients seeking to strengthen their relationship. In my original training as a couples counselor, I was trained with the Gottman method, and I still believe that the Gottman's insights resonate deeply with the challenges couples face, providing practical strategies rooted in empirical research.

This book isn't just theory; it's a roadmap for fostering communication and intimacy. What sets it apart is its emphasis on actionable steps that couples can take to nurture their bond.

I've witnessed firsthand the transformative impact of implementing Gottman's principles in sessions. Also, it is based on observing real couples in various phases of their lives. 

A terrific, candid book for both partners in a marriage rocked by an affair. They walk the reader through each phase of his infidelity and its impact on their marriage: the rationalizations, trauma, the fall-out, divorce, and eventual restoration of their marriage. Terrific insights, especially for the unfaithful. While Dr. Jay ascribes the key to their recovery as his wife’s constant love, I believe he overlooked another important factor: his wife stopping her tendency to over-accommodate, learning to set boundaries, and treating herself with more self-respect. It’s in the book but not credited as a significant factor in him wanting her again and motivating him to take a hard look at himself. Especially helpful for unfaithful men who are executives and travel a lot for work.

Terrence Real tells it like it is, and his frank and forthright manner is something I truly admire. I got so much from this book because it is practical and motivating. I felt challenged and empowered to be more loving in my relationships, to recognize my own unhelpful behavior, to understand that certain habits can destroy a loving partnership and that great relationships take time to build—and that’s okay.

It's full of bullet points and tools, which I appreciate and can apply more easily, and he also has a strong message for men in his book, something that is lacking in relationship well-being literature generally. 

This is a solid book that will help you in your relationships.

First, I found the writing in this book phenomenal, especially the dialogue. I feel like each bit of dialogue revealed something new about the character or pulled me deeper into the plot. It’s witty and dark. Honest would be a good word to describe it.

The characters felt so human to me–simultaneously loveable and deplorable, true to human nature. But it was the twist midway through the novel that really drew me in—the shift in reality. It changed the book for me, molding it into something unique, something I’d never read before.

It’s a novel I come back to time and time again, especially when I need inspiration.

A book about the long-overlooked female cryptanalyst Elizebeth Friedman that also includes fun code-breaking activities to try out? Yes, please!

I’m not the least bit ashamed to direct people to this middle-grade book. I love that Butler Greenfield makes the world of code-breaking exciting and engaging, and I love that she puts a spotlight on a wildly talented woman who too often was seen as a helpmate to her cryptographer husband instead of as an equal (and maybe even more talented) partner.

I love that even though this is history long past, Butler Greenfield keeps me on the edge of my seat, wondering what will happen to Elizebeth next.