100 books like Already Toast

I am a wee bit obsessed with mysteries. This is my genre of choice for vacations, plane rides, and the occasional lazy afternoon. And I love the way that Barbara Neely blends a classic whodunnit with the topic of gender equality. Barbara Neely, who is now deceased, left the world with a gem of a 4-book series about Blanche White, who is a domestic worker by profession—and an accidental sleuth on the side.

But what I love most about this series is the way Neely weaves huge issues like misogyny, racism, classism, and violence through her story while delivering a smart, page-turning mystery. In her own words, “fiction is a good place to do activism.” 

There are not many books that I can say with confidence that this book changed my life. But honestly—this book by Orenstein CHANGED MY LIFE. Orenstein put into words so many feelings and emotions I had over the years about growing up as a girl and reconciling my own internal feelings and interests in sex with society’s expectations of me.

I still recommend this book to every parent in my life. And here’s another tip—don’t say, “My kid isn’t there yet,” and dismiss it. Kids grow up faster than you realize! If you’re a parent, read this whenever you can find time. It will be so helpful in framing all conversations (even the early ones) around sex and sexuality.

We are doing a great job of dismantling the glass ceiling held over our daughters and changing the way we raise girls. We tell our girls, “You can do anything,” and “Don’t let your gender hold you back!” But we are not doing the same for our sons. And that is why I love this book.

This book is written for a YA reader, but it is also great for parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, religious leaders, teachers, and coaches—really, anyone with a boy in their life. It helps all of us better understand how we should raise boys. We should teach them empathy, create caregiving opportunities for them, and teach them the words they need to express themselves. 

A critical component of the gender equality booklist is trans rights, which is why I recommend this autobiography. I hesitate to say too much about it—because I just think the best thing to do is dive in and read this for yourself. I will say that the words Chloe chooses and the way she talks about her own transition—it was surprising, and heartbreaking, and insightful, and beautiful—all at the same time.

Chloe has also become a friend of mine, and I can say that she is every bit as tenacious and lovable in person as she is on the page. I often give this book as a gift to people who are thinking of, in the middle of, or are supporting a loved one through a gender transition. 

In my experience working with caregivers burnout is the biggest challenge. This book offers readers real-life case examples and exercises to help caregivers understand themselves better. It helps caregivers closely examine their options as the needs of the person they care for change. It focuses a lot on the psychological issues and challenges the caregiver relationship creates for all who are involved. 

I LOVE the author’s voice in this memoir: she is eloquent, funny, and blisteringly honest about the dehumanization that has plagued medical training from its inception to this day.

I found it enlightening to see that a woman who is a concert pianist and turned down a full scholarship to Oxford to go to medical school suffered the same level of self-doubt as a medical student and resident that I did! I found her descriptions of sleep deprivation, the anxiety of being on call, and the pager as “the box of pain” highly relatable, even as I laughed out loud—or sometimes shed a tear.

I was inspired by her redemption through what she called “Doctor Rehab,” a Zen mindfulness retreat which gave her a whole new take on her calling.   

I resisted the enneagram, thinking that it wasn’t scientific enough, but now that I understand it, I haven’t looked back.

Knowing how understanding yourself is an essential part of avoiding burnout, I was looking for a personality typology that didn’t just put me in a box but gave me a path to growth and development. This book does just that for me, with tailored development areas for each personality type.

I like this book because it’s very complementary to Peter Thiel’s book.

It emphasizes how to make yourself the focus of your “zero to one” effort.

Too many entrepreneurs burn out before they go the distance, usually because they’re exhausted and frustrated trying to manage their employees and all the tasks associated with the business.

Brantley, a successful entrepreneur, proposes a new approach that gets entrepreneurs out of micromanaging (which they tend to do) by leveraging the time and talent of their best people.

I tend to get myself into the weeds on things that are important to me (like a business), and this book helped me see what I was doing before I did any real damage.

I think you’ll feel like he wrote the book for you. No fluff, just great advice and tools you can actually use.

Originally published in 2002, the author took a revolutionary approach to burnout, suggesting that burnout could be an opportunity for making overdue changes rather than a reason to panic. Ignoring the warning signs of burnout, feeling exhausted, frustrated, empty, disconnected, spent, or cynical will ultimately lead to a state of collapse, but listening to the message of burnout and exploring life alternatives will enable you to make beneficial changes. One of the founders of Skyros Holistic Holidays in Greece, psychotherapist and imagework practitioner Glouberman promotes alternative ways of living and being that actively promote psychological health.

I am in awe of how Anne Helen Petersen was able to weave together a cathartic validation of how exhausted our generation is with a clear historical explanation of where American burnout culture actually comes from. As someone who has fallen victim to cycles of overwork despite my best efforts to inject my life with balance, I needed to read about how overworking is not my fault, but it is also not necessary.

This also gave me some great data points to cite in debates with well-meaning family members who still look upon our entire generation as lazy and entitled.