Fans pick 90 books like Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist

By Steven Carter, Julia Sokol,

Here are 90 books that Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist fans have personally recommended if you like Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

If you feel like the world has become more narcissistic and entitled, then this book is for you. It examines the root of narcissism and how we can and should remove toxic narcissists from our lives. If you have ever witnessed egregious, inappropriate, and downright nasty behavior from others, you will get a deeper understanding of it and how to disengage from it in your own life.

By Ramani S. Durvasula,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

It's time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.

"Don't You Know Who I Am?" has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It's the tagline of the modern narcissist.

Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our…


Book cover of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

This is one of the most popular books on narcissism and really sheds light on the narcissism epidemic that continues to grow to this day. Twenge and Campbell have a gift of incorporating their important research on narcissism with entertaining and relevant anecdotes. This is a compelling, thought-provoking, and important book for understanding how deep-rooted narcissism has become in society.

By Jean M. Twenge, W. Keith Campbell,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Narcissism Epidemic as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The author of Generation Me explores the spread of narcissism in today’s culture and its catastrophic effects at every level of society.

Narcissism—an inflated view of the self—is everywhere.

Public figures say it’s what makes them stray from their wives. Teenagers and young adults hone it on social media, and celebrity newsmakers have elevated it to an art form. And it’s what’s making people depressed, lonely, and buried under piles of debt.

Dr. Jean Twenge joins forces with W. Keith Campbell, PhD, a nationally recognized expert on narcissism, to explore this new plague in The Narcissism Epidemic. Even the world…


Book cover of Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

Dr, Malkin’s work has been an inspiration for both books I have written. I use his definition of narcissism, Triple E (lack of empathy, entitlement, exploitation) whenever I explain it to others. He also does a great job of emphasizing that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and why it is good to have moderate narcissism- meaning, it is not dangerous, pathological, and causing harm to others. I think this is a groundbreaking read on narcissism and a must for anyone interested in the topic.

By Dr. Craig Malkin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Rethinking Narcissism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Harvard Medical School psychologist and Huffington Post blogger Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic," by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing.

"What is narcissism?" is one of the fastest rising searches on Google, and articles on the topic routinely go viral. Yet, the word "narcissist" seems to mean something different every time it's uttered. People hurl the word as insult at anyone who offends them. It's become so ubiquitous, in fact, that it's lost any clear meaning. The only certainty these days is…


Book cover of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

This is one of the first books I ever read on narcissism, and the most eye-opening. This book is written by Sam Vaknin, a recovering narcissist who takes you deep into the mind and motivations of the narcissist. It is comprehensive, in-depth, and helps one understand how destructive and dangerous narcissists can be. It helped me identify and move on from a horrible relationship I was in with a narcissist.

By Sam Vaknin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Malignant Self-love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The FULL TEXT of Sam Vaknin's classic, groundbreaking BIBLE of NARCISSISM and NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, now in its 10th edition. Tips and advice as well as the most complete clinical background. Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its effects on the narcissist, the psychopath and their nearest and dearest in a variety of settings: the family, workplace, in Church, the community, law enforcement, and politics. 100 frequently asked questions and two essays - a total of 730 pages! Updated to reflect the NEW criteria in the recent fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).

You are not alone! Are YOU Abused?…


Book cover of It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

Dr. Helen Hsu Author Of The Healing Trauma Workbook for Asian Americans: Heal from Racism, Build Resilience, and Find Strength in Your Identity

From my list on beyond “therapy as usual” for your mental health.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.

Dr.'s book list on beyond “therapy as usual” for your mental health

Dr. Helen Hsu Why did Dr. love this book?

The joke (but truth) is that people go to therapy because of the people in their lives who refuse to go to therapy. “It’s Not You” is an ideal guide for people who are emotionally beaten down, self-questioning, and depleted from narcissistic abuse. Dr. Ramani provides knowledge so that one can identify the patterns and tactics of narcissistic abuse. This is super important to heal from self-blame and also to prevent falling for future manipulations.

Like my other recommendations- this book is fabulous because it comes from an expert who can channel research and knowledge into understandable terms and blend in relatable narratives from other people. It’s also a book that makes space for grieving dreams and hopes of even toxic relationships. I especially love the advice on how to work on becoming more “narcissist resistant” so that the next time a charming manipulator shows up, you’ll see the red…

By Ramani Durvasula,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked It's Not You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

"A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships..." -Jay Shetty

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION

Dealing with a narcissist is hard. One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical Psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help. Drawing on…


Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Meg Arroll Author Of Tiny Traumas: When You Don't Know What's Wrong, but Nothing Feels Quite Right

From my list on helping you understand why you feel the way you fee.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a psychologist, yet I am also a human being with real, complex, and, at times, disturbing thoughts and feelings. I would say I’ve learnt more from my own experiences and those shared by others than any training or qualifications. I never tire of listening to these real-life narratives, which are full of more color and depth than our rudimentary single-word emotion labels describe. I gather these stories up to feed my emotobiome (our microscopic inner world of feelings) along with the books and learnings from my list. I hope you’ll join me on this rollercoaster ride through human feelings–I wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

Meg's book list on helping you understand why you feel the way you fee

Meg Arroll Why did Meg love this book?

I’ve found so much value in this book; it’s one of my most recommended titles to both friends and clients.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people feel “not good enough” and the impact this has on our lives. Some of the most challenging feelings, such as guilt and shame, frequently emerge out of complex early life family dynamics, and more subtle forms of emotional neglect associated with narcissistic personality disorder can be incredibly difficult to disentangle.

The ”a-ha” moments in this book, especially emerging from the case studies, shone a light on feelings of insignificance and how to heal the inner child.

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


Book cover of American Psycho

David E. Gates Author Of The Wretched

From my list on horror books that changed my life and could change yours.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have loved horror since my early teens, when I first discovered The Rats and Lair and other horror stories by James Herbert. The thing I like about horror, in particular, is that there are no holds barred, no censorship, as to what can be written. I grew up on movies like The Exorcist, Friday the 13th, Jaws, Alien, The Thing, etc., but horror writing takes you deeper and gives a more visceral experience than anything any film can do.

David's book list on horror books that changed my life and could change yours

David E. Gates Why did David love this book?

This was one of the hardest books to "get into," but a friend of mine told me to stick with it because the rewards of getting through the first quarter would be so great. I'm glad I did. It is an astounding piece of work, quite different from anything I've ever read before or since, and remains one of my top five books.

The tangents the book takes, and the blasé attributes of the leading character are superbly crafted. It was suggested it was "unfilmable," and there's one scene in particular I thought they'd never get away with, but if you look at the movie version carefully, it's in there. 

By Bret Easton Ellis,

Why should I read it?

11 authors picked American Psycho as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. Handsome, sophisticated, charming and intelligent, he is also a psychopath.


Book cover of Octavia

Melinda De Ross Author Of Celebrity

From my list on romance, chick-lit, and women’s fiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

I love women’s fiction, romantic comedies, and chick-lit because they are a fun slice of escapism, a guilty pleasure that pushes our problems on the back burner for a bit. A good women’s fiction novel has everything, from romance, to drama, to self-discovery, to a happy ever after. If it’s delivered with a large dose of humor, it’s the recipe for success. That’s what I try to do in my novels, to offer a unique experience and help readers relax, laugh, dream, hope, and most of all, escape reality when they need it. In my opinion, that’s the purpose of a good book, no matter the genre.

Melinda's book list on romance, chick-lit, and women’s fiction

Melinda De Ross Why did Melinda love this book?

Octavia is a self-centered, narcissistic young heiress who thinks she deserves the best of everything. When she meets her friend’s fiancé, Jeremy, she has no compunctions about trying to seduce him. But Jeremy’s best friend, Gareth, has other plans. Brought up in the bad side of town and now a self-made millionaire, he decides to teach Octavia that she can’t play with other people’s lives without suffering the consequences.

This engaging story, full of wit and humor, shows us Octavia’s transformation when she drops from riches to rags, falls in love for the first time in her life, and starts to care about other people than herself. Although the heroine might seem unlikeable at first, the author does a fantastic job in penning her journey, and by the end, most women will identify with Octavia.

By Jilly Cooper,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Octavia as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Fall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this up-beat and unmissable rom-com. Octavia is used to having anything (or anyone) she wants - but will she get her just desserts this time? Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon.

'Jilly is about bringing joy into your life: daft, silly, boozy joy ... There is no one else like Cooper' -- Guardian
'The Jane Austen of our time' - HARPERS & QUEEN
'Joyful and mischievous' -- Jojo Moyes
'Fun, sexy and unputdownable' -- Marian Keyes
'Outstanding read. If I…


Book cover of The Good Daughter Syndrome: Help For Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter

Khara Croswaite Brindle Author Of Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

From my list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a mental health therapist, I’m passionate about helping daughters heal. Daughters who have experienced repeated abuse, hurt, trauma, or neglect from their mothers will often grapple with the decision to stay connected to their mothers or estrange in adulthood. Many of these women come to therapy for additional support on their self-discovery journeys and have felt validated and seen when books were written for their experiences and perspectives. I’ve seen how these books have helped my clients heal their attachment trauma over the years, and I’m confident they can help even more women from here!

Khara's book list on helping adult daughters heal from attachment trauma

Khara Croswaite Brindle Why did Khara love this book?

I think about this book a lot. Breaking down the roles daughter might play with a mom who struggles with personality characteristics that lend to the mother-daughter relationship being difficult is compelling!

I enjoyed the author’s style of writing as she makes you feel like you are in the room with her, and she’s offering a lot of acceptance, validation, and compassion that serves to help the healing process from attachment trauma with mom. This book is full of examples of how mom might show up and how adult daughter may choose to respond in ways that support healthy boundaries and healing.

By Katherine Fabrizio,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Good Daughter Syndrome as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?


You love your mother, but she drives you crazy.
She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback, and resulting guilt is so bad you tell yourself... it's just not worth it.

Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult?
Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind?

Do you feel stuck in your relationship with Mom-
-trying to please her but never feeling good enough?
- feel responsible for Mom's emotional well-being?
-struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty or get so much pushback you end up feeling like ...it's just…


Book cover of Narcissism: A New Theory

Chris West Author Of The Karpman Drama Triangle Explained: A Guide for Coaches, Managers, Trainers, Therapists – and Everybody Else

From my list on really helpful psychology.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been fascinated by human behaviour since going to a school where we were told there was a right and a wrong way to do everything. That never felt right to me – human beings are much bigger than that! I studied Counselling and Therapy at Norwich City College in the 1990s and later specific courses on Transactional Analysis. Many years on, I am still learning…

Chris' book list on really helpful psychology

Chris West Why did Chris love this book?

Onto the darker side, now. This book outlines how narcissists behave but also posits an opposite force to narcissism (which is why I like it so much).

It’s written by a psychoanalyst, so Freud is lurking in the background, which I don’t always like, but Symington’s ideas are so interesting… Given the plethora of narcissistic politicians in the current world, this book is extraordinarily timely.

By Neville Symington,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Narcissism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The author presents fresh insights into the subject of narcissism, drawing on his vast clinical experience of treating people suffering from this disorder.


Book cover of "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
Book cover of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement
Book cover of Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

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