85 books like Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist

By Steven Carter, Julia Sokol,

Here are 85 books that Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist fans have personally recommended if you like Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist. Shepherd is a community of 9,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Who am I?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

If you feel like the world has become more narcissistic and entitled, then this book is for you. It examines the root of narcissism and how we can and should remove toxic narcissists from our lives. If you have ever witnessed egregious, inappropriate, and downright nasty behavior from others, you will get a deeper understanding of it and how to disengage from it in your own life.

By Ramani S. Durvasula,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

It's time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.

"Don't You Know Who I Am?" has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It's the tagline of the modern narcissist.

Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our…


Book cover of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Who am I?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

This is one of the most popular books on narcissism and really sheds light on the narcissism epidemic that continues to grow to this day. Twenge and Campbell have a gift of incorporating their important research on narcissism with entertaining and relevant anecdotes. This is a compelling, thought-provoking, and important book for understanding how deep-rooted narcissism has become in society.

By Jean M. Twenge, W. Keith Campbell,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Narcissism Epidemic as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The author of Generation Me explores the spread of narcissism in today’s culture and its catastrophic effects at every level of society.

Narcissism—an inflated view of the self—is everywhere.

Public figures say it’s what makes them stray from their wives. Teenagers and young adults hone it on social media, and celebrity newsmakers have elevated it to an art form. And it’s what’s making people depressed, lonely, and buried under piles of debt.

Dr. Jean Twenge joins forces with W. Keith Campbell, PhD, a nationally recognized expert on narcissism, to explore this new plague in The Narcissism Epidemic. Even the world…


Book cover of Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Who am I?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

Dr, Malkin’s work has been an inspiration for both books I have written. I use his definition of narcissism, Triple E (lack of empathy, entitlement, exploitation) whenever I explain it to others. He also does a great job of emphasizing that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and why it is good to have moderate narcissism- meaning, it is not dangerous, pathological, and causing harm to others. I think this is a groundbreaking read on narcissism and a must for anyone interested in the topic.

By Dr. Craig Malkin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Rethinking Narcissism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Harvard Medical School psychologist and Huffington Post blogger Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic," by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing.

"What is narcissism?" is one of the fastest rising searches on Google, and articles on the topic routinely go viral. Yet, the word "narcissist" seems to mean something different every time it's uttered. People hurl the word as insult at anyone who offends them. It's become so ubiquitous, in fact, that it's lost any clear meaning. The only certainty these days is…


Book cover of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

Lena Derhally Author Of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

From my list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists.

Who am I?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.

Lena's book list on narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Lena Derhally Why did Lena love this book?

This is one of the first books I ever read on narcissism, and the most eye-opening. This book is written by Sam Vaknin, a recovering narcissist who takes you deep into the mind and motivations of the narcissist. It is comprehensive, in-depth, and helps one understand how destructive and dangerous narcissists can be. It helped me identify and move on from a horrible relationship I was in with a narcissist.

By Sam Vaknin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Malignant Self-love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The FULL TEXT of Sam Vaknin's classic, groundbreaking BIBLE of NARCISSISM and NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, now in its 10th edition. Tips and advice as well as the most complete clinical background. Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its effects on the narcissist, the psychopath and their nearest and dearest in a variety of settings: the family, workplace, in Church, the community, law enforcement, and politics. 100 frequently asked questions and two essays - a total of 730 pages! Updated to reflect the NEW criteria in the recent fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).

You are not alone! Are YOU Abused?…


Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Karen C.L. Anderson Author Of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame

From my list on difficult mother/adult daughter relationships.

Who am I?

In the 1980s, my mother “divorced” her mother with a letter in the mail. In 2010 I did the same via email. I thought it was just my dysfunctional family, but come to find out, mother-adult daughter estrangement is not unusual and difficult mother-daughter relationships don’t happen in a vacuum, they happen in the context of patriarchy, white supremacy, internalized misogyny, and other oppressive systems. Through therapy and, later, when I trained to be a life coach, allllll my “mother stuff” came up. The tools and practices I learned and developed were so helpful to me, I couldn’t keep them to myself. 

Karen's book list on difficult mother/adult daughter relationships

Karen C.L. Anderson Why did Karen love this book?

This is one of the first books I read on the subject and it provided so much relief and finally gave me an explanation, not only about why my mother might be the way she is, but why I might be the way I am.

It might be rather simplistic and pathologizing, but in her book McBride discusses how daughters of narcissistic mothers often fall into one of two categories: overachievers and underachievers. As someone who used to identify as an underachiever, it would have never dawned on me that being an overachiever was just as fraught with pain, self-doubt, and shame.

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


Book cover of Delicate Scars

Sai Marie Johnson Author Of Simply Scarlet: A Sensual Tale of Lust and Love

From my list on steamy books with a bite.

Who am I?

I have a passion for this type of writing because I am talented at it and I feel that illustrious and sensuous writing with an erotic flair is something very under-sung and often stigmatized. It has been more accepted since the Fifty Shades of Grey trend, but I feel there are so many authors who have yet to achieve the recognition they deserve for their efforts in this artistic and intriguing genre!

Sai's book list on steamy books with a bite

Sai Marie Johnson Why did Sai love this book?

I like to read books that I can relate to and I was a foster child; sexually, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally abused and as a result was the victim of many narcissists. It was my desire to overcome those patterns that drove me to read books like Delicate Scars and because I feel I have been the person who was delicate and gained scars to become stronger – this is why I chose to read and fell in love with this book.

By Alta Hensley,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Delicate Scars as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

USA Today Bestselling Book.

I was going to ruin her. 

I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her. She was too naive, too innocent. 

I would wrap her in the darkness of my world till she no longer craved the light... only me. 

I should walk away, leave her clean and untouched... but I won't. 

I hold her delicate heart in my scarred fist and I have no intention of letting go.

***

It all started with a book... doesn't that sound crazy?

For your entire world to come crashing down around you over research for a book?…


Book cover of The Woman Watching

Theresa Griffin Kennedy Author Of Talionic Night in Portland: A Love Story

From my list on to help you discover what makes people tick.

Who am I?

When I think of who I am, as a writer and a human being, I remember the words of prolific Portland poet Dan Rapheal, who wrote the foreword to my book of poetry, Blue Reverie in Smoke: “...the reader must look carefully to get a full picture of the poet herself—tender, no nonsense, quietly observing and juggernauting to make things as she thinks they should be.” I’ve never forgotten Dan’s astute appraisal of me, and it surprised me. It seems that's how I’ve always beensomeone who quietly observes, never unmoved by what I see, just trying to make sense of it, sometimes successful in that endeavor, and oftentimes, not successful at all. 

Theresa's book list on to help you discover what makes people tick

Theresa Griffin Kennedy Why did Theresa love this book?

How do we decipher mundane truth from sophisticated deception? Who holds the gaze and who is the protagonist if they’re not readily revealed? Vulpius, a popular actor in a dubious era, develops an obsession with an unknown spectator, who he believes comes only to see him. The reader watches his life slowly unravel because Vulpius can never seem to capture the woman watching. Capriolo draws the reader into the insanity and narcissism of obsession, revealing how it can make perfect sense to the afflicted. I loved this book because of the strangeness of the extreme passive voice, probably because it's translated from Italian to English. Also, there is a complete lack of dialogue. I loved Capriolo’s masterful teasing of the reader, revealing just enough to keep you coming back, wondering just what’s going to happen to Vulpius. Will he survive, or will he destroy himself in the end? 

By Paola Capriolo,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Woman Watching as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What is the nature of the actor's mask? At what point do performer and performance merge? Vulpius, a much admired young actor in a provincial rep company, develops an obssession with an unknown spectator whose gaze seems only for him, at first kindling fresh fervour in his mastery of each role, then leaving him a slave to artistic perfection. With philosophical elegance and black macabre sense of comedy, Paola Capriolo draws the reader deep into obssession, exploring the most compelling recesses of the theatrical experience where ritual and stylisation run rampant. Dark questions emerge about the power of representation and…


Book cover of American Psycho

Travis Jeppesen Author Of Settlers Landing

From my list on when you need a heavy dose of satire.

Who am I?

Given the state of the world today, laughter truly is the best coping mechanism. The best satire is all about excess in design, intention, characterization, and deployment of attitude. The more extreme, the better; leave restraint to the prudish moralists! 

Travis' book list on when you need a heavy dose of satire

Travis Jeppesen Why did Travis love this book?

Why didn’t anyone think of it sooner? I’m guessing it took the excesses of the 1980s for a novelist to draw a direct connection between the psychopathic behavior of Wall Street traders and serial killing.

Greed and senseless violence are two vices that America seems to have something of a monopoly on, and this macabre tale, alternatively hilarious and disgusting, proves it. 

By Bret Easton Ellis,

Why should I read it?

10 authors picked American Psycho as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. Handsome, sophisticated, charming and intelligent, he is also a psychopath.


Book cover of Octavia

Melinda De Ross Author Of Celebrity

From my list on romance, chick-lit, and women’s fiction.

Who am I?

I love women’s fiction, romantic comedies, and chick-lit because they are a fun slice of escapism, a guilty pleasure that pushes our problems on the back burner for a bit. A good women’s fiction novel has everything, from romance, to drama, to self-discovery, to a happy ever after. If it’s delivered with a large dose of humor, it’s the recipe for success. That’s what I try to do in my novels, to offer a unique experience and help readers relax, laugh, dream, hope, and most of all, escape reality when they need it. In my opinion, that’s the purpose of a good book, no matter the genre.

Melinda's book list on romance, chick-lit, and women’s fiction

Melinda De Ross Why did Melinda love this book?

Octavia is a self-centered, narcissistic young heiress who thinks she deserves the best of everything. When she meets her friend’s fiancé, Jeremy, she has no compunctions about trying to seduce him. But Jeremy’s best friend, Gareth, has other plans. Brought up in the bad side of town and now a self-made millionaire, he decides to teach Octavia that she can’t play with other people’s lives without suffering the consequences.

This engaging story, full of wit and humor, shows us Octavia’s transformation when she drops from riches to rags, falls in love for the first time in her life, and starts to care about other people than herself. Although the heroine might seem unlikeable at first, the author does a fantastic job in penning her journey, and by the end, most women will identify with Octavia.

By Jilly Cooper,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Octavia as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Fall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this up-beat and unmissable rom-com. Octavia is used to having anything (or anyone) she wants - but will she get her just desserts this time? Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon.

'Jilly is about bringing joy into your life: daft, silly, boozy joy ... There is no one else like Cooper' -- Guardian
'The Jane Austen of our time' - HARPERS & QUEEN
'Joyful and mischievous' -- Jojo Moyes
'Fun, sexy and unputdownable' -- Marian Keyes
'Outstanding read. If I…


Book cover of Motherland: A Memoir of Love, Loathing, and Longing

Laura Davis Author Of The Burning Light of Two Stars: A Mother-Daughter Story

From my list on the mother-daughter relationship.

Who am I?

We all have obsessions in life and one of mine has been my mother and the great love and enmity that ricocheted between us for fifty-seven years. Throughout the decades, my mother went from protector to controller to betrayer to ogre to human to an elderly woman in my care. The love and hate, distance and intimacy, estrangement, and reconciliation that we experienced made me a lifelong student of the mother-daughter bond. I‘ve written about my mother for more than 30 years, and love reading mother-daughter stories, not saccharine sweet ones, but complex multi-layered dramas where there’s no villain and no hero—just two humans struggling to love and understand each other.

Laura's book list on the mother-daughter relationship

Laura Davis Why did Laura love this book?

There are so many things I loved about Motherland, it’s hard to know where to begin. For starters, Elissa Altman is a brilliant writer and a great storyteller. Her portrayal of her dramatic, narcissistic mother created a flawed, human, larger-than-life character I will never forget. Elissa moves us through time effortlessly, at one moment vividly portraying herself as a child and in the next, seamlessly bringing in the voice of wisdom—her adult voice now—as we watch her struggle to make peace with the past. I deeply resonated with the love and hate, attachment and resentment that ricocheted between this unforgettable mother-daughter pair. I love books that grab me and don’t let me go. Motherland definitely had me hooked all the way from beginning to end. I hated leaving Altman’s world behind. I didn’t want the book to end.

By Elissa Altman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Motherland as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“I’m reading this book right now and loving it!”—Cheryl Strayed, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Wild

How can a mother and daughter who love (but don’t always like) each other coexist without driving each other crazy? 

“Vibrating with emotion, this deeply honest account strikes a chord.”—People
“A wry and moving meditation on aging and the different kinds of love between women.”—O: The Oprah Magazine 

After surviving a traumatic childhood in nineteen-seventies New York and young adulthood living in the shadow of her flamboyant mother, Rita, a makeup-addicted former television singer, Elissa Altman has managed to build a very…


5 book lists we think you will like!

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