The best books on understanding narcissism and how to deal with narcissists

Who am I?

I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and an author. My clinical interests and published books are about narcissism. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist (which I suspect may have turned physical if I had stayed), I decided to make it my mission to not only never experience having a cold and calculating narcissist in my life again, but to also help other people avoid or leave any type of relationship with a narcissist. To this day, I am passionate about researching, writing, and educating others on the dangers of narcissism.


I wrote...

The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

By Lena Derhally,

Book cover of The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

What is my book about?

A comprehensive guide for understanding how narcissism on social media impacts our mental health, how to protect ourselves and our children from those affected as well as from narcissists, and how to use social media more mindfully. 

The Facebook Narcissist is the first book dedicated to exploring the relationship between narcissism and social media. Lena Derhally, a licensed psychotherapist certified in Imago therapy, delves into how social media enhances individual and cultural narcissism and how it may create or exacerbate toxic narcissistic tendencies in people who use it. Using her clinical expertise, along with scientific research and interviews with other experts in the field, she thoroughly examines: how narcissism on social media contributes to false narratives and ruptures relationships; narcissism and cyberbullying, cyberstalking, trolling, and victim-blaming on social media; and more. 

The books I picked & why

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"Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility

By Ramani S. Durvasula,

Book cover of "Don't You Know Who I Am?" How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility

Why this book?

If you feel like the world has become more narcissistic and entitled, then this book is for you. It examines the root of narcissism and how we can and should remove toxic narcissists from our lives. If you have ever witnessed egregious, inappropriate, and downright nasty behavior from others, you will get a deeper understanding of it and how to disengage from it in your own life.


The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

By Jean M. Twenge, W. Keith Campbell,

Book cover of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

Why this book?

This is one of the most popular books on narcissism and really sheds light on the narcissism epidemic that continues to grow to this day. Twenge and Campbell have a gift of incorporating their important research on narcissism with entertaining and relevant anecdotes. This is a compelling, thought-provoking, and important book for understanding how deep-rooted narcissism has become in society.


Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

By Dr. Craig Malkin,

Book cover of Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special

Why this book?

Dr, Malkin’s work has been an inspiration for both books I have written. I use his definition of narcissism, Triple E (lack of empathy, entitlement, exploitation) whenever I explain it to others. He also does a great job of emphasizing that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and why it is good to have moderate narcissism- meaning, it is not dangerous, pathological, and causing harm to others. I think this is a groundbreaking read on narcissism and a must for anyone interested in the topic.


Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

By Sam Vaknin,

Book cover of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

Why this book?

This is one of the first books I ever read on narcissism, and the most eye-opening. This book is written by Sam Vaknin, a recovering narcissist who takes you deep into the mind and motivations of the narcissist. It is comprehensive, in-depth, and helps one understand how destructive and dangerous narcissists can be. It helped me identify and move on from a horrible relationship I was in with a narcissist.


Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist

By Steven Carter, Julia Sokol,

Book cover of Help! I'm in Love With a Narcissist

Why this book?

When I was in my 20s and ending a relationship with a narcissist, this book was a lifesaver. This book was able to describe exactly what I had been through and made me feel less crazy (being in a relationship with a narcissist can make you feel crazy!). This book also solidified my decision to leave the narcissist once and for all and helped me find a relationship where I was treated well. A must-read for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist or who has been in a relationship with a narcissist.


Interested in narcissism, social media, and psychological abuse?

5,309 authors have recommended their favorite books and what they love about them. Browse their picks for the best books about narcissism, social media, and psychological abuse.

Narcissism Explore 20 books about narcissism
Social Media Explore 58 books about social media
Psychological Abuse Explore 10 books about psychological abuse

And, 3 books we think you will enjoy!

We think you will like Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, Delicate Scars, and Octavia if you like this list.