The best books to help daughters of narcissistic mothers flourish and thrive

Why am I passionate about this?

I am Danu Morrigan and I run the website Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Ever since realising in 2008 that my mother was most likely narcissistic (although she was never diagnosed as such and this is just my best guess), I have been absorbed in this topic, both for my own sake, and to share what I learn with other daughters of narcissistic mothers. I’m especially dedicated to finding ways we can heal from this and live our own best lives regardless of her impact.


I wrote...

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

By Danu Morrigan,

Book cover of You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

What is my book about?

“[This book] explained my own life to me in a way I never could.” If your relationship with your mother is always difficult, and you can never make her happy, and you’re always in the wrong, and you feel you’re going crazy as you remember things differently to how she recalls them, You’re Not Crazy – It’s Your Mother is the book you need: all this could be because your mother may well be narcissistic. This book explores the difficult topic of narcissistic mothers, and their impact on their daughters, in an easy-to-understand way, with warmth and compassion. “It felt like Danu was sitting with me chatting over a cup of coffee.”

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Danu Morrigan Why did I love this book?

This is the first book I ever read on the topic of daughters of narcissistic mothers, and it taught me so much. It opened my eyes to the toxic dynamic that narcissistic mothers create in their families. I vividly recall the graphic of how the narcissistic mother is at the centre of the family, and all other family members orbit around her, striving to meet her demands.

By Karyl McBride,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.

The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the…


Book cover of The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Danu Morrigan Why did I love this book?

On its face, this book has nothing to do with daughters of narcissistic mothers, but it has messages for everyone, especially women, and even more especially, daughters of narcissistic mothers who were taught to ignore our own boundaries and our own intuition. This book does the opposite: it gives us overt permission, and even encouragement, to trust our intuition which in turn will keep us safe.

By Gavin de Becker,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Gift of Fear as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the US' leading expert on violent behaviour, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger - before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including: how to act when approached by a stranger; when you should fear someone close to you; what to do if you are being stalked; how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls;…


Book cover of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Danu Morrigan Why did I love this book?

I love love love this book. When I, as the daughter of a narcissistic mother, wanted to become a mother myself, I knew I needed to consciously and proactively learn mothering skills because I certainly hadn’t absorbed them from how I was parented. And this book was the answer, and I recommend it unreservedly to every parent. It gives warm, empathetic and appropriate ways to meet your child’s emotional needs, which makes for a happier child and hence for an easier life for everyone. I especially love the section on validation. For someone who had been invalidated at every turn, learning to validate my child’s experience and emotions (and by extension, my own), was incredibly powerful, and my son’s response to being validated proved without a shadow of a doubt that this book was on the right right: he became calm very quickly each time.

By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish,

Why should I read it?

6 authors picked How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

30th Anniversary Edition updated with new insights from the next generation. You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this thirtieth-anniversary edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based on feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication--illustrated with…


Book cover of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Danu Morrigan Why did I love this book?

Just as daughters of narcissistic mothers need to proactively and consciously learn parenting, we need to learn about healthy personal relationships, especially within our primary love relationship, and this book is awesome for providing exactly that. It draws a direct line between our childhood wounds on the one hand, and what we seek in a romantic partner on the other, and the way we subconsciously choose a romantic partner in the hopes that they will heal the childhood wounds. And of course this never works, and this book shares how to avoid that and how to create healthy relationships that supersede this dynamic.

By Harville Hendrix, Helen Lakelly Hunt,

Why should I read it?

5 authors picked Getting the Love You Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt offer the relationship skills that have helped millions of couples replace confrontation and criticism with a process of mutual support that facilitates healing and growth at any stage of a relationship. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique that combines a number of disciplines - including the behavioural sciences, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neurosciences, among others - to create a program that transforms conflict into creative tension that deepens connection and renews passion.

In a new forward and chapter, Hendrix and…


Book cover of Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out

Danu Morrigan Why did I love this book?

This book does exactly what the title suggests: teaches ways for you to be happy regardless of your circumstances. I think this is hugely important when, as daughters of narcissistic mothers, we are navigating so much childhood trauma, and indeed current trauma and difficulty if we are still in contact with our mothers and the narcissistic abuse continues. This book isn’t instead of resolving issues, but rather parallel with them. I love that it includes extremely practical steps to help us be happy for no reason too, rather than just airy fairy talk.

By Marci Shimoff, Carol Kline,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Happy for No Reason as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Everyone wants to be happy, yet so many people are the opposite of that, with increasing numbers of anti-depressants being dispensed each year. Clearly we need a new approach to life. Happy for No Reason presents startling new ideas and a practical programme that will change the way we look at creating happiness in our lives. Marci Shimoff combines the best in cutting-edge scientific research into happiness with interviews with over 100 genuinely happy people, and lays out a powerful, holistic, seven-step formula for raising our 'happiness set point'. Our happiness levels are like a neuro-physiological thermostat - we can…


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Let Evening Come

By Yvonne Osborne,

Book cover of Let Evening Come

Yvonne Osborne Author Of Let Evening Come

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

I grew up on a family farm surrounded by larger vegetable and dairy operations that used migrant labor. From an early age, my siblings and I were acquainted with the children of these workers, children whom we shared a school desk with one day and were gone the next. On summer vacations, our parents hauled us around in a station wagon with a popup camper, which they parked in out-of-the-way hayfields and on mountainous plateaus, shunning, much to our chagrin, normal campgrounds, and swimming pools. Thus, I grew up exposed to different cultures and environments. My writing reflects my parents’ curiosity, love of books and travel, and devotion to the natural world. 

Yvonne's book list on immersive coming-of-age fiction with characters struggling to find themselves amidst the isolation and bigotry in Indigenous, rural, and minority communities

What is my book about?

After her mother is killed in a rare Northern Michigan tornado, Sadie Wixom is left with only her father and grandfather to guide her through young adulthood. Miles away in western Saskatchewan, Stefan Montegrand and his Indigenous family are displaced from their land by multinational energy companies. They are taken in temporarily by Sadie’s aunt, a human rights activist who heads a cultural exchange program.

Stefan promptly runs afoul of local authority, but Sadie, intrigued by him and captivated by his story, has grown sympathetic to his cause and complicit in his pushback against prejudiced accusations. Their mutual attraction is stymied when Stefan’s older brother, Joachim, who stayed behind, becomes embroiled in the resistance, and Stefan is compelled to return to Canada. Sadie, concerned for his safety, impulsively follows on a trajectory doomed by cultural misunderstanding and oncoming winter.

Let Evening Come

By Yvonne Osborne,

What is this book about?

After her mother is killed in a rare Northern Michigan tornado, Sadie Wixom is left with only her father and grandfather to guide her through the pitfalls of young adulthood.
Hundreds of miles away in western Saskatchewan, Stefan Montegrand and his Indigenous family are forced off their land by multinational energy companies and flawed treaties. They are taken in temporarily by Sadie's aunt, a human rights activist who heads a cultural exchange program.
Stefan, whose own father died in prison while on a hunger strike, promptly runs afoul of local authority, but Sadie, intrigued by him and captivated by his…


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