How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish,

Book cover of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Book description

30th Anniversary Edition updated with new insights from the next generation. You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the…

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Why read it?

6 authors picked How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk as one of their favorite books. Why do they recommend it?

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is…

I love love love this book. When I, as the daughter of a narcissistic mother, wanted to become a mother myself, I knew I needed to consciously and proactively learn mothering skills because I certainly hadn’t absorbed them from how I was parented. And this book was the answer, and I recommend it unreservedly to every parent. It gives warm, empathetic and appropriate ways to meet your child’s emotional needs, which makes for a happier child and hence for an easier life for everyone. I especially love the section on validation. For someone who had been invalidated at every turn,…

I love this book because it’s so darn sensible. It’s also written in an easy-to-relate style, and even if you “don’t have time to read a parenting book,” you can get quite a few of the main concepts by simply reading the comics. This book helps you see what bad habits you’ve fallen into, and how it’s quite possible to turn around your relationship with your child. Also look for their companion books which are equally good: Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk so Kids Can Learn At Home and in School.

I read this book when my children were in elementary, middle, and high school, and it made a big impact on how I communicated with my kids. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen is by a wise psychologist who had counseled thousands of children and parents. It presents an approach to “getting kids to listen” that encourages parents to respect and accept their children’s feelings and thoughts instead of threatening, yelling, or putting down how their kids feel and what they say. One of my favorite things about this book is the effective strategies and examples for getting your…

First published in 1980 – yes 1980 - this classic book REMAINS on the bestselling list today! That is because it is one of the best guides for effective parent-child communication methods ever written. Simply composed and illustrated, it makes it easy to understand what your child may be feeling or needing, (Your child is NOT out to “get you.”) and provides step-by-step guidance to work with your child to solve problems, express strong emotions, resolve conflicts and most importantly build a healthy, life-long relationship.

From Mary's list on for new parents looking to prepare.

Learning how to effectively communicate with children is the most important thing a parent can do. As a practicing psychologist, behavior problems, as well as provided help for parents who want to improve their parenting skills—even while setting firm limits. I’ve seen great success as parents learn to listen to their children in a manner that that promotes a willingness to cooperate with parental redirection. Amazing things can happen when children are allowed to appropriately express their feelings. “Because I said so…” just doesn’t work.” How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk does.

From Gail's list on for parent-child communication.

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