100 books like Cultivating the Doula Heart

This book invited me to think about how we age and meet death in contemporary Western societies.

I have seen people close to me die. I watched as my grandma, then my grandpa, and then my father passed away. They each, in different ways, faced the brutal realities of growing old and they encountered a healthcare system that ultimately medicalized their death and the aging process–striving to ‘eek out’ more time, as though that was the only honorable thing to do.

Atul Gawande’s book really taught me to reflect critically on that.

Before I read this book I hadn’t understood the many different ways that scientists have defined “death.” (Are you dead when your heart stops? When you stop breathing? When your brain function ends?)

Reading this gave me a much deeper understanding of the medical, legal, and ethical issues around declaring someone dead, while also helping me understand that the body is always dying even as it is healing itself and thriving.

I loved the historical view of death and the exploration of interventions like mechanical ventilation and CPR. I loved Warraich’s ability to make complicated medical or biological concepts understandable to me as a nonscientist and I loved that he wove in personal stories to bring the ideas to life. My copy has a ton of dog-eared pages!

I could not resist this book partly because I was already familiar with Doughty’s, “Ask a Mortician” YouTube series. I loved the way that she used her own experience as a young crematory operator, weaving in details of her personal life along the way, to show us all the different things that happen to bodies after they die.

I loved the dark humor she brought to subjects like embalming, cremation, and funeral directing. The poignant stories about collecting bodies from the places where they died, cremating bodies, and talking to family members or loved ones, helped me see the deeply human side of death care, and I certainly came away understanding a lot more about the realities of different body preparation and disposition options!

I read this book for the first time about five years ago, and my first thought when I finished it was, “Everyone who is going to die needs this book.” This is the best thing I’ve read on the personal choices around dying and supporting someone who is dying.

I love the clear, level-headed, plain-spoken, simple, and elegant text and the way that Tisdale uses personal storytelling and philosophical reflection to help us address what we might otherwise avoid. I will return to this book over and over as I support sick or dying friends, and you can bet it will be on my bedside table if I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness.

I love this book because it helped me to understand how death-phobic the Western world is and why grief, death, and mourning are currently taboo topics for many. I read the book shortly after the death of a family member, and it helped me to make sense of my feelings and give myself permission to be with them.

I found the book very hard to put down. With poetic wisdom, Stephen Jenkinson outlines how little space there is to consider what a good death is, especially in the context of Western medicine. One of the biggest messages I gained from this book is that we must embrace grief and death in order to embody our ethics and, ultimately, live and die well. 

The Next Thing You Know resonated with me on several levels. First, main character Mason grapples with a disabling injury that hampers his career as a musician. Second, the death doula that works with him to heal emotionally is faced with the difficult decision whether she should cross professional client lines to share her true feelings. 

There are beautiful scenarios that reminded me of my series. In moving scenes, Nova shows Mason that there are other ways to create music other than performing. And he realizes that he has a lot to live for. 

This is an emotional story told with heart and insight!

This was the very first spiritual motherhood book I found shortly after discovering I was pregnant and, let me tell you, I’m glad it was this book!

Sacred Pregnancy is divided into weeks. The experience is like consuming profound aphorisms, ideas, and reflective journaling activities that will nourish both you - fatigued and very pregnant mama - and the child you will be raising very soon.

Not only did I become excited about every new week along my pregnancy journey, I looked forward to every new week diving into this book, with its informative and transformative content. I loved it so much that I bought the corresponding oracle deck to continue my weekly bonding with my unborn child. 

I love this book because it puts parents in control and because it's based on the latest medical research and recommendations. It provides the information and guidance that pregnant families need to make informed decisions that reflect their preferences, priorities, and values. Throughout, the presentation is crystal-clear, the tone is reassuring, and the voice is empowering. And the language is inclusive, reflecting today's various family configurations such as single-parent families, blended families formed by second marriages, families with gay and lesbian parents, and families formed by open adoption or surrogacy. From sensible nutrition advice to realistic birth plans, from birth doulas when desired to cesareans when needed, from reducing stress during pregnancy to caring for themselves and their babies after birth, this pregnancy guide speaks well to the needs of parents-to-be.

We’re all looking for ways to teach our children to care for each other as well as our planet. This is a wonderful way to engage kids and get them thinking about the greater good. Filled with fun ideas, children are empowered to make a difference. I love the discussion questions to prompt thinking and the place for children to write down their own ideas. 

Sensitive and insightful, The Validation Breakthrough is an essential resource for families, friends, neighbors, home health aides, doctors, nurses, social workers, and long-term care staff.

I learned as I read this book the necessity of walking beside the elderly in the final life stage. I learned empathy and to listen and talk with them, rather than patronizing them or telling them what to do. And I learned a very different understanding of why those with dementia symptoms do the things that they do-how the decline in cognitive abilities affects them in a very individual way, and to better understand the reasons behind their disorientation and sometimes challenging behavior.

The Validation Breakthrough was the foundation for my dementia care programs and method, and I often recommend this to all my family and professional clients to help raise their dementia awareness.