Fans pick 100 books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares

By Dawn Huebner, Bonnie Matthews (illustrator),

Here are 100 books that What to Do When Your Temper Flares fans have personally recommended if you like What to Do When Your Temper Flares. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Jessica L. Borelli Author Of Nature Meets Nurture: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Resilient Kids

From my list on people who want to connect with their child.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve been fascinated by relationships since I was a kid. I grew up a keen observer of the relationships in my own family, mostly focused on the way in which the dynamics were difficult for me. This led me to develop a strong interest in psychology, a passion I pursued in my undergraduate education. I became acutely intrigued by an idea a professor exposed me to early on – that experiences of safety and security within attachment relationships are essential in order for children to thrive, and that without safety/security, they can experience chronic struggles. This early interest paved the way for what developed into my career as a psychology professor and therapist.

Jessica's book list on people who want to connect with their child

Jessica L. Borelli Why did Jessica love this book?

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is an old book but one I wish I had discovered before I had my own kids. I now intend to give it to all of my clients and friends when they become new parents. 

By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish,

Why should I read it?

6 authors picked How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

30th Anniversary Edition updated with new insights from the next generation. You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this thirtieth-anniversary edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based on feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication--illustrated with…


Book cover of 1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

Gail A. Poyner Author Of Closing Pandora's Box: Empowering Parents to Help Their Children Reject Pornography

From my list on for parent-child communication.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a practicing psychologist for the past twenty years, I have treated hundreds of children and teens who have behavior problems, as well as provided help for parents who want to improve their parenting skills. Central to many, if not most, of the problems I see revolve around poor communication. Many parents don’t know how to effectively communicate about certain issues, which often causes even more problems with their children. However, when parents learn how to approach their children without reacting in frustration and anger, I’ve witnessed amazing improvement in both behavior and the parent-child relationship.

Gail's book list on for parent-child communication

Gail A. Poyner Why did Gail love this book?

Dr. Phelan strikes a home run with his 1-2-3 Magic program for disciplining children, by teaching parents how to use calm communication as opposed to that infused with frustration. The strength of his approach centers on getting toddlers to listen by using mild language and consistency, while refraining from exhibiting the strong emotions that often accompany attempts to reign in negative behavior. Phelan’s approach encourages parents to refrain from reactive communication, by replacing it with a much more effective method of redirecting little ones away from negative behavior. If you want to increase your toddler’s compliance, give 1-2-3 Magic a try. You may think counting doesn’t work, but done correctly, it can add up to amazing results!

By Thomas W. Phelan,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked 1-2-3 Magic as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"Everywhere you go, you keep overhearing other moms say to their misbehaving children, 'That's one. That's two. That's three.' And then you watch in disbelief as their kid actually stops!" - PopSugar Moms
Are you the parent of a strong-willed child? Is bedtime a nightly battle? Are you looking to get your kids to behave without yelling? Whether you have a toddler, preschooler, or school-aged child, this parenting book can help you create a calm, happy home.
"Phelan's method has a proven track record of ending the negotiations and getting kids back on track...1-2-3 {Magic} is the gold standard of…


Book cover of Do You Have a Secret?

Gail A. Poyner Author Of Closing Pandora's Box: Empowering Parents to Help Their Children Reject Pornography

From my list on for parent-child communication.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a practicing psychologist for the past twenty years, I have treated hundreds of children and teens who have behavior problems, as well as provided help for parents who want to improve their parenting skills. Central to many, if not most, of the problems I see revolve around poor communication. Many parents don’t know how to effectively communicate about certain issues, which often causes even more problems with their children. However, when parents learn how to approach their children without reacting in frustration and anger, I’ve witnessed amazing improvement in both behavior and the parent-child relationship.

Gail's book list on for parent-child communication

Gail A. Poyner Why did Gail love this book?

For children, secrets can be a fun part of life. However, some secrets can be disturbing and even dangerous for a child to keep. Do You Have a Secret helps young children make the distinction between good secrets and bad secrets. Read together with a parent, a child can learn which secrets should not be kept inside, as well as how talking about them can actually help them feel better. This well-written book should be considered essential to a parent’s library of books that increase communication between parents and children. In today’s world, some secrets can be devasting to a child’s emotional health and well-being. Setting the stage for children to talk about them is one of the best things we can do in a world where there are simply too many secrets for children to cope with.

By Jennifer Moore-Mallinos, Marta Fabrega (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Do You Have a Secret? as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Every child has secrets, and many secrets are fun to keep. This book will help distinguish between the fun secrets and the secrets that can make children feel bad or scared. These are the difficult ones that are best shared with parents, or with a trusted adult.

Parents, teachers, and gift givers will find:

A book for kids about secrets, feelings, boundaries, and consent A children's book to keep kids safe

Do You Have a Secret? helps kids distinguish between good and bad secrets. Everyone has concerns and anxieties, and Let's Talk About It! books are written and illustrated specifically…


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Book cover of I Am Taurus

I Am Taurus By Stephen Palmer,

The constellation we know as Taurus goes all the way back to cave paintings of aurochs at Lascaux. This book traces the story of the bull in the sky, a journey through the history of what has become known as the sacred bull.

Each of the sections is written from…

Book cover of I Don't Want to Talk About It

Gail A. Poyner Author Of Closing Pandora's Box: Empowering Parents to Help Their Children Reject Pornography

From my list on for parent-child communication.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a practicing psychologist for the past twenty years, I have treated hundreds of children and teens who have behavior problems, as well as provided help for parents who want to improve their parenting skills. Central to many, if not most, of the problems I see revolve around poor communication. Many parents don’t know how to effectively communicate about certain issues, which often causes even more problems with their children. However, when parents learn how to approach their children without reacting in frustration and anger, I’ve witnessed amazing improvement in both behavior and the parent-child relationship.

Gail's book list on for parent-child communication

Gail A. Poyner Why did Gail love this book?

I frequently use this child’s book to help young children cope with the divorce of their parents. Too often, I’ve found, parents don’t know how to talk to their children about divorce, and even more often, children don’t know how to talk to their parents about their feelings and what they may see as the end of their family. I Don’t Want to Talk About It follows a young girl who just doesn’t want to talk about her fears and painful feelings when she discovers that her parents are divorcing. However, with the gentle help of her parents, she is ultimately able to gain the courage to talk to them about what the future holds. The children I’ve counseled about divorce have responded well to this soft and empathic book. I highly recommend it.

By Jeanie Ransom, Kathryn Kunz Finney (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Don't Want to Talk About It as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

When a child's parents tell her they have decided to divorce, the last thing she wants to do is talk about it. Instead, she wants to roar as loud as a lion so she can't hear their painful words, or turn into a fish and hide her tears in the sea, or even become a bird and fly away. But with her mother and father's help, she starts to consider what life will be like after divorce and learns that although some things will change, many other things will remain the same. Most importantly, she realizes that although her parents…


Book cover of Anger and Forgiveness: Resentment, Generosity, Justice

Gregg Easterbrook Author Of It's Better Than It Looks: Reasons for Optimism in an Age of Fear

From my list on hope for the future.

Why am I passionate about this?

As an author, I write both serious nonfiction and literary fiction. As a journalist, I have lifelong associations with The Atlantic and the Washington Monthly. I didn’t plan it, but four of my nonfiction books make an extended argument for the revival of optimism as intellectually respectable. A Moment on the Earth (1995) argued environmental trends other than greenhouse gases actually are positive, The Progress Paradox (2003) asserted material standards will keep rising but that won’t make people any happier, Sonic Boom (2009), published during the despair of the Great Recession, said the global economy would bounce back and It’s Better Than It Looks (2018) found the situation objectivity good on most major issues.

Gregg's book list on hope for the future

Gregg Easterbrook Why did Gregg love this book?

Nussbaum, a philosopher at the University of Chicago, is among the great minds of our era. In this book she shows – admittedly, at a slow pace – that ability to forgive is essential to individual love, political justice, and the smooth running of society. Today’s politics and social media cultivate recriminations, downplay the moment in which we forgive. Nussbaum describes a better way.

By Martha C. Nussbaum,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Anger and Forgiveness as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Anger is not just ubiquitous, it is also popular. Many people think it is impossible to care sufficiently for justice without anger at injustice. Many believe that it is impossible for individuals to vindicate their own self-respect or to move beyond an injury without anger. To not feel anger in those cases would be considered suspect. Is this how we should think about anger, or is anger above all a disease, deforming both the personal and the political?

In this wide-ranging book, Martha C. Nussbaum, one of our leading public intellectuals, argues that anger is conceptually confused and normatively pernicious.…


Book cover of Anh's Anger

Jessica Sinarski Author Of Hello, Anger

From my list on children’s stories about anger.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been a peacemaker, so anger can be a really uncomfortable emotion for me. I think that’s true of lots of people! As a mom and mental health counselor, it was important to me to write a book that honored the protective nature of anger. Feelings give us important information. Putting this book together felt like a big puzzle to solve, and I’m so happy with how it turned out. Bright and engaging illustrations, relatable characters, and tips for grown-ups in the back to help us all say hello to our anger and whatever might be hiding underneath! 

Jessica's book list on children’s stories about anger

Jessica Sinarski Why did Jessica love this book?

“I’m the part of you that comes out when things don’t go your way.” I think we can all relate to that big, red monster that shows up when we feel mad. With beautiful, layered illustrations, Ahn’s Anger cleverly externalizes anger, sharing many of the feelings and sensations that may be involved. It also normalizes the time and presence that anger sometimes requires of us. Sending a child away when upset, which does occur in this story, may not be a great strategy for all families. It’s worth noting, however, that the grandfather does make the first move to restore the relationship and comfort Ahn.

By Gail Silver, Christianne Kromer (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Anh's Anger as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

This wonderful and engaging 1st book in a trilogy that includes Steps and Stones and Peace, and Bugs and Understanding, gives children and caregivers a concrete practice for dealing with anger and other difficult emotions.

In Anh’s Anger, five-year-old Anh becomes enraged when his grandfather asks him to stop playing and come to the dinner table. The grandfather helps Anh fully experience all stages of anger by suggesting that he go to his room and, "sit with his anger." The story unfolds when Anh discovers what it means to sit with his anger. He comes to know his anger in…


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Book cover of Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

Traumatization and Its Aftermath By Antonieta Contreras,

A fresh take on the difference between trauma and hardship in order to help accurately spot the difference and avoid over-generalizations.

The book integrates the latest findings in brain science, child development, psycho-social context, theory, and clinical experiences to make the case that trauma is much more than a cluster…

Book cover of Verge

Theresa Griffin Kennedy Author Of Talionic Night in Portland: A Love Story

From my list on to help you discover what makes people tick.

Why am I passionate about this?

When I think of who I am, as a writer and a human being, I remember the words of prolific Portland poet Dan Rapheal, who wrote the foreword to my book of poetry, Blue Reverie in Smoke: “...the reader must look carefully to get a full picture of the poet herself—tender, no nonsense, quietly observing and juggernauting to make things as she thinks they should be.” I’ve never forgotten Dan’s astute appraisal of me, and it surprised me. It seems that's how I’ve always beensomeone who quietly observes, never unmoved by what I see, just trying to make sense of it, sometimes successful in that endeavor, and oftentimes, not successful at all. 

Theresa's book list on to help you discover what makes people tick

Theresa Griffin Kennedy Why did Theresa love this book?

This book of short fiction is a riveting account of how the marginalized outcasts of society struggle to find a voice, often not finding anything other than the realization of their own loneliness and social isolation. Many dynamics are shown in this book, such as a kind of unquenchable desire for new experience, even when it harms us, and the struggle to contend with class, gender, age, and continued sexual hunger. Do we invite troubled persons into our lives if they might harm us, or at least carve profanity into our coffee tables, or do we walk away? I loved this book because each story and character captures what it's like to live on the edge, and this is done without judgment, malice, or any form of indifference. I had so many favorite stories from this collection, just rest assured it is totally worth your time and the money to…

By Lidia Yuknavitch,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Verge as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

LONGLISTED FOR THE STORY PRIZE

Named one of the Best Books of the Year by Bustle and Lit Hub

A fiercely empathetic group portrait of the marginalized and outcast in moments of crisis, from one of the most galvanizing voices in American fiction.

Lidia Yuknavitch is a writer of rare insight into the jagged boundaries between pain and survival. Her characters are scarred by the unchecked hungers of others and themselves, yet determined to find salvation within lives that can feel beyond their control. In novels such as The Small Backs of Children and The Book of Joan, she has…


Book cover of Overcoming Passive Aggression

Chloe Carmichael Author Of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety

From my list on anxiety from a psychologist's perspective.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm Dr. Chloe Carmichael, clinical psychologist and USA Today bestselling author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety (endorsed by Deepak Chopra). As a clinical psychologist, a lot of people ask me how to get rid of their anxiety. They're often surprised to learn that actually, we don't always want to get rid of anxiety—because the truth is that anxiety actually brings many benefits, if we know how to unlock them. Anxiety’s healthy function is actually to stimulate preparation behaviors. In this book, I share nine tried and tested tools with step-by-step instructions and real life examples to help readers harness the healthy power of anxiety.

Chloe's book list on anxiety from a psychologist's perspective

Chloe Carmichael Why did Chloe love this book?

As a clinical psychologist, I can say that Overcoming Passive Aggression is a must-read book! A lot of people who are anxious become passive-aggressive because they’re very afraid of even the most minor confrontations in life. People tend to resort to passive aggression when they don’t feel they have the skills or the confidence to handle conflict directly. Realizing this is an important first step—an essential next step is to start building the skills and confidence to handle things differently.

By Tim Murphy, Loriann Hoff Oberlin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Overcoming Passive Aggression as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Hidden anger that comes out indirectly can undermine relationships between friends, family, and colleagues. When people feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behaviour but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. This revised and updated edition offers essential guidance for dealing with problems in the workplace and at school avoiding the pitfalls of social media, texting, and online communication and when…


Book cover of Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

Kim Imas Author Of Beast Mom

From my list on women and anger.

Why am I passionate about this?

We talk a lot about the big public events that expanded the #MeToo movement so astronomically, like the election to the US presidency of a man who bragged about assaulting women, and the allegations made against Harvey Weinstein. But I think most American women have other, more personal beefs that originate from their being a woman. I, for one, was shocked at how unnecessarily difficult it was to be a new mother in the US. Other places support this vulnerable group much more than we do here, and living that disparity angered me—like, for example, when my husband exhausted what little parental leave he had available before our twins were even released from the NICU.

Kim's book list on women and anger

Kim Imas Why did Kim love this book?

This 2018 release had particularly good timing: By the end of the previous year, the #MeToo movement had exploded into a global phenomenon and women the world over were pissed. I was one of them, and I was doing a lot of soul-searching about the growing rage inside of me.

Good and Mad helped me understand the broader context of what I was feeling: why and how women have been taught that anger is unbecoming and unacceptable, how society holds us to that standard, and how some brave women—like Mamie Till—have turned this reality into an opportunity to create change.

By Rebecca Traister,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked Good and Mad as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Journalist Rebecca Traister's New York Times bestselling exploration of the transformative power of female anger and its ability to transcend into a political movement is "a hopeful, maddening compendium of righteous feminine anger, and the good it can do when wielded efficiently-and collectively" (Vanity Fair).

Long before Pantsuit Nation, before the Women's March, and before the #MeToo movement, women's anger was not only politically catalytic-but politically problematic. The story of female fury and its cultural significance demonstrates its crucial role in women's slow rise to political power in America, as well as the ways that anger is received when it…


Book cover of When Sophie Gets Angry-Really, Really Angry

Amanda Driscoll Author Of Little Grump Truck

From my list on dealing with feelings.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always been an artist and avid reader, but my passion for picture books began while reading them with my children. That passion grew into a career as an author/illustrator. For me, the best picture books speak honestly and with integrity. They affirm children’s feelings and help them deal with those feelings. Children are incredibly perceptive and unflinchingly honest. All of my picture books are different, but honest emotions are at their core. After I lost my husband—and my children lost their father—I experienced firsthand how strong and emotionally complex children are. I believe the books on my list effectively and honestly address children’s feelings, and are wonderful resources for caregivers.

Amanda's book list on dealing with feelings

Amanda Driscoll Why did Amanda love this book?

This book is spot-on for children dealing with emotions. (And what child isn’t dealing with emotions??) The story revolves around a relatable situation: Sophie has a tantrum after her sister takes a toy. It doesn’t diminish or sugar-coat Sophie’s anger. Kids will identify with Sophie as she explodes, then runs into the woods. Her anger resolves through mindfulness—very helpful for kids when they have tantrums. The natural world comforts Sophie and she returns home in a calm mood, ready to be with her family, who welcomes her home. Ultimately, this is a reassuring story of unconditional love.

By Molly Bang,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked When Sophie Gets Angry-Really, Really Angry as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

Category: Feelings"Oh is Sophie ever angry now!"Everybody gets angry sometimes. For children, anger can be very upsetting. Parents, teachers, and children can talk about it. People do lots of different things when they get angry. In this Caldecott-honor book, kids will see what Sophie does when she gets angry. What do you do?"...Bang's double-page illustrations, vibrating with saturated colors, that reveal the drama of the child's emotions."-SLJ, starred review"...an elegant and thought-provoking book for...children learning how to deal with emotions." -NY Times Book Review

Everybody gets angry sometimes. For children, anger can be very upsetting. Parents, teachers, and children can…


Book cover of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Book cover of 1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting
Book cover of Do You Have a Secret?

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Interested in rage, communication, and psychologist?

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