Here are 100 books that The Pain We Carry fans have personally recommended if you like
The Pain We Carry.
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I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.
Legions of regular folks have grown up with parents or caretakers who were emotionally immature or unskilled. These family-of-origin deficits may or may not have met the criteria for outright abuse but caused lasting emotional harm to the kids. I love that this book uses clear language and validates the reality of countless readers.
A guide like this book explains unhelpful familial behavior patterns and explores ways to liberate the reader from automatically repeating dysfunctional history. Book clubs are springing up worldwide about this book. It’s also valuable to me in defining emotionally immature parents not as bad people but as people who lack the insight and skills to provide an emotionally supportive and healthy home.
Changing maladaptive family-of-origin patterns is incredibly hard work, and this gentle guide is a great intro to understanding the past to evolve an emotionally healthier present and future.
Are you one of the countless people who grew up with emotionally immature parents? If you suffer from this troubling parent/child dynamic, you may still recall painful moments from your childhood when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of maturity in an effort to "compensate" for your parents' behavior. And while you likely cultivated strengths such as self-reliance and independence along the way- strengths that have served you well as an adult-having to be the emotionally mature person in your relationship with your parent is confusing and even…
I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.
Every therapy session should be like what you can find in this book! The therapist authors model being candid and vulnerable, as well as historically educated and connected with others, as avenues to healing from trauma. They cite research articles and channel expertise from years of clinical practice at Yellow Chair Collective yet avoid psychological jargon. Soo Jin and Linda have a warm and practical approach to writing that makes for an easy, thought-provoking read.
The diverse range of personal healing stories will be relatable, and the exercises and reflections will be useful and accessible. I like mental health books where the authors are honest about their own struggles and foibles alongside their expertise, so you can really feel like they’re on this journey with you rather than talking at you. Obviously targeted for Asian Americans (or Asian Canadians, Asian Australians, Asian Brits…) but has useful content here for all…
An essential resource that addresses the unique experiences of trauma, healing, and mental health in Asian and Asian American communities.
Coauthors Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon are professional therapists who witnessed firsthand how mental health issues often went unaddressed not only in their own immigrant families, but in Asian and Asian American communities. Where I Belong shows us how the cycle of trauma can play out in our relationships, placing Asian American experiences front and center to help us process and heal from racial and intergenerational trauma. This book validates our experiences and helps us understand how they fit…
I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.
I think it’s powerful and rare for a man to share his vulnerabilities so openly: childhood trauma, insecurities, substance abuse, breakdowns, setbacks. He isn’t sentimental or maudlin about it. Thompson writes clearly and matter-of-factly, allowing readers to witness the messy journey to post-traumatic growth.
This memoir is by a psychologist who shares his own history of traumatic abuse and his hospitalization in San Francisco following years of depression and a serious suicide attempt. His path to wellness is a bit extreme- ultramarathons in mountains for literally hundreds of miles- but I completely relate to how our bodies are key to holistic healing.
I love the descriptions of exercise and the outdoors as I also use outdoor time as a mental grounding (but for about 5 miles, not 200!) Spoiler alert: he is now married with children and working as a psychologist while continuing to practice running, meditation, and yoga regularly.…
A powerful, breathtaking memoir about a young man's descent into madness, and how running saved his life.
"Voluntary or involuntary?" asked the nurse who admitted J. M. Thompson to a San Francisco psychiatric hospital in January 2005. Following years of depression, ineffective medication, and therapy that went nowhere, Thompson feared he was falling into an inescapable darkness. He decided that death was his only exit route from the torture of his mind. After a suicide attempt, he spent weeks confined on the psych ward, feeling scared, alone, and trapped. One afternoon during an exercise break he experienced a sudden urge.…
A fresh take on the difference between trauma and hardship in order to help accurately spot the difference and avoid over-generalizations.
The book integrates the latest findings in brain science, child development, psycho-social context, theory, and clinical experiences to make the case that trauma is much more than a cluster…
I’m a lifelong bibliophile who hated school until I took community college Psychology 101 when I was 16 years old. I was hooked! Psychology was the first field I encountered with applications in everything about the human condition. My life's work and joy have been understanding the interrelatedness of mind, body, spirit, brain, culture, and ancestry and how to live with values, meaning, health, and connection. I am a psychologist at Stanford University, a lifelong learner, an adventurer, and a professor, and I still cram in as much pleasure reading as possible. Books have always been my lifeline and can be a healing tool and guide accessible to all.
The joke (but truth) is that people go to therapy because of the people in their lives who refuse to go to therapy. “It’s Not You” is an ideal guide for people who are emotionally beaten down, self-questioning, and depleted from narcissistic abuse. Dr. Ramani provides knowledge so that one can identify the patterns and tactics of narcissistic abuse. This is super important to heal from self-blame and also to prevent falling for future manipulations.
Like my other recommendations- this book is fabulous because it comes from an expert who can channel research and knowledge into understandable terms and blend in relatable narratives from other people. It’s also a book that makes space for grieving dreams and hopes of even toxic relationships. I especially love the advice on how to work on becoming more “narcissist resistant” so that the next time a charming manipulator shows up, you’ll see the red…
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
"A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships..." -Jay Shetty
From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism
REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION
Dealing with a narcissist is hard. One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical Psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help. Drawing on…
I’m passionate about connecting with people through therapy and helping them to better understand themselves. There’s no better way to do that than through reading. I’ve always been interested in the human condition, reading psychology magazines and books about love, mental health, and self-identity from a young age. They helped me to navigate tougher times when I was experiencing my own adversity. I believe in the power of health literacy, and with lived experience in mental health as both a psychotherapist and a client, I manage my own mental health using the same techniques I share with readers in my book and those found through reading books such as these.
This is the book I recommend to any clients or friends struggling with their anxiety. It’s a unique take on how anxiety has been understood throughout history and how it can impact us, told as Sarah goes on her own journey to discover how to live with the condition.
It’s beautifully researched, and I could see myself and my own beliefs about anxiety challenged and understood in so much of the text. My own copy is dog-earned, highlighted, and worn down due to multiple readings and referencing. A must-read!
If you love someone who is anxious, this book is for you.
I Quit Sugar founder and New York Times bestselling author Sarah Wilson has lived through high anxiety - including bipolar, OCD and several suicide attempts - her whole life. Perhaps like you, she grew tired of seeing anxiety as a disease that must be medicated into submission. Could anxiety be re-sewn, she asked, into a thing of beauty?
So began a seven-year journey to find a more meaningful and helpful take on…
I'm a trauma psychologist and intergenerational trauma expert who’s listened to countless client stories of generational pain and healing. I also write a weekly newsletter, called Break the Cycle, where I offer coping skills to cycle breakers and have the opportunity to read about the multitude of ways in which they are breaking away from trauma and creating legacies of abundance. It is in these stories, I believe, that we're able to see all the possibilities of how we may heal. I hope you enjoy these multilayered stories as much as I did!
Our bodies tell stories of remnants of the past and in this memoir, Stephanie Foo proved to us that the body will indeed keep traces of unmetabolized pain that runs through our families.
This book reflects the spirit of intergenerational trauma, but also of intergenerational healing and the ways in which cycle breakers, and particularly those who are immigrants, have to build from the ashes of burned-down dreams and broken hearts. It is a reflection of how generational resilience comes to life, even in the darkest of moments.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A searing memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life
“Achingly exquisite . . . providing real hope for those who long to heal.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, NPR, Mashable, She Reads, Publishers Weekly
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and…
The constellation we know as Taurus goes all the way back to cave paintings of aurochs at Lascaux. This book traces the story of the bull in the sky, a journey through the history of what has become known as the sacred bull.
I’ve been a practicing clinical psychologist for over thirty years. I’ve seen many patients who have suffered from OCD – some to the point of being debilitated by their symptoms. Few things are as gratifying as helping someone overcome OCD and live a normal life. While the disorder can be confusing, once people understand what OCD is and how to treat it, they can literally change their lives for the better. This is why I went into this field to begin with, and after thirty years, I still feel privileged and grateful when I can help someone escape the prison of OCD symptoms.
If you have a child who suffers from OCD, this is the only book you really need. Dr. Chansky is one of the nation’s experts in pediatric OCD, and this book is the most informative and practical book I have read on the subject. This book with help you understand OCD (how it presents, what causes it) and how to help your child overcome this disorder.
If you're a parent of one of the more than one million children in this country with obsessive-compulsive disorder, you know how confusing, even frightening, the symptoms of OCD can be. You're terrified of losing your child and angry about the havoc this disorder has wreaked in your family. More than anything, you want to be able to unlock the secrets of OCD, understand the cause of your child's bizarre symptoms, and help your child break free of these disruptive, relentless thoughts and actions.
In her landmark book, Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Dr. Tamar E. Chansky creates a…
As a lifelong asthmatic I’ve been working with the body for as long as I can remember. Childhood activities included getting lost in the woods, camping, and roller-skating, and grown-up life has included the professions of a modern dancer, choreographer, yoga therapist, and occupational therapist. If you can learn to slow down and find safety in your body, you can always manage to find your way home.
I love The Yoga Effect because it is based on the cutting-edge findings of NIH-funded studies at Boston University School of Medicine and shares poses and breathing techniques that are proven to help the body and mind release fear, worry, and sadness. Not dissimilar to my book, The Yoga Effect offers a customizable prescription for maintaining centeredness, confidence, and balance with short, well-rounded practices that include breath work, visualizations, and clear explanations of how yoga contributes to emotional wellness.
Discover inner calm and balance with a programme designed to help you overcome the debilitating effects of depression and anxiety.
"An evidence-based yoga program that is easy to follow... with calming, empowering and balancing imagery to accompany the accessible poses. Every practice invites a self-affirming attitude of courage...I love this book...and I highly recommend it..." -Amy Weintraub, founder, LifeForce Yoga, and author, Yoga for Depression and Yoga Skills for Therapists
'Inspirational. Forges new ground for how yoga can be researched and validated within the Western medical framework..." -David Emerson, Director, The Center for Trauma and Embodiment at JRI; Author, Trauma-Sensitive…
Nineteen years ago, my 13-year-old daughter became wracked in severe pain for no discernible reason. She found walking, lying flat, or sitting up straight impossible. She had a host of other bizarre physical symptoms, too. The doctors we consulted not only didn’t help us, they decided she was faking it. We had to step outside the medical mainstream to discover she had chronic Lyme disease. After many difficult years, she got better, and I began working to change the system. As president of LymeDisease.org, a national Lyme advocacy and research organization, I write and speak on behalf of Lyme patients and their families.
Dr. Daniel Kinderlehrer was already a prominent holistic physician when he became quite sick. None of the many doctors he consulted could figure out what was ailing him or how to help him in any way.
He turned out to have persistent Lyme disease—which can be notoriously hard to diagnose—and the experience spun his life and career in a completely different direction. I like this book because he shares so much of his personal story and imparts excellent information about the immune system, healing the gut, detoxifying the body, and treating infections.
From the foreword by world-leading Lyme expert Joseph J. Burrascano, Jr., MD:
A detailed and thoughtful road map is sorely needed. And it is in this context that I am so pleased that we have this book by Dr. Kinderlehrer. I wish I'd had a book like this back in the day to guide me! It covers just about everything-the infections, diagnostic tests, treatments, and yes, the all-important terrain. It gives the reader an in-depth, but easily understandable, guide through the many subtleties of tick-borne illnesses. I am impressed with the knowledge presented and grateful for this information, which has…
I was an imaginative and sensitive kid – growing up in the confusing oppressions of the US south and raised by parents who are themselves trauma survivors. When I started to go into altered states, hear voices, withdraw in frightened isolation and drift towards strange beliefs, I was forcibly locked up at Langley Porter Psychiatric Hospital in San Francisco. I was drugged, put in restraints and solitary confinement, and told I was schizophrenic and would never live a normal life. Today I don’t take medication, work as a therapist teacher, and advocate, and have joined the international patients’ movement working to change an abusive and misguided mental health system. I am not anti-medication, but I see psychiatric meds for what they are – tranquilizers, not treatments, tools not solutions. We need compassionate approaches and caring communities for individuals suffering from a psychotic crisis like I was. I am also the author of the Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs.
What would happen if instead of throwing people into jail-like mental wards and hammering them with tranquilizing drugs, we instead welcomed them into home-like settings and spent time listening and caring, patiently giving them time and space to explore the emotional roots of their crisis? Psychiatrist Loren Mosher did just that in the Soteria House research project in the 1970s and 80s, and the results were clear: people do better without medications and with listening and caring in a safe environment instead.
Mosher was the first chief of the Center for Studies of Schizophrenia of the National Institutes of Mental Health but you’ve probably never heard of him – his innovative project proved that psychosis can be healed more effectively without medication and outside of hospitals, but came at a time when biological and pharmaceutical solutions – and the profits they generate – came to dominate psychiatry, so he was…
