Fans pick 100 books like Skilled Interpersonal Communication

By Owen Hargie,

Here are 100 books that Skilled Interpersonal Communication fans have personally recommended if you like Skilled Interpersonal Communication. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of Poverty Safari: Understanding the Anger of Britain's Underclass

Stuart Hanscomb Author Of Critical Thinking: The Basics

From my list on interpersonal communication and influence.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an academic at the University of Glasgow with a background in philosophy and psychology. My approach to critical thinking is broad and informed by several other teaching and research interests: emotional intelligence, the psychology of influence, interpersonal communication, and virtue ethics. Motivating much of what I do is the question: How are we to live well? With respect to critical thinking I don’t just deal with the nature and structure of arguments, but also with the role they play in constructive dialogues, and how poor reasoning is linked to psychological biases and the absence of certain virtues. The books I have chosen here are representative of these concerns.

Stuart's book list on interpersonal communication and influence

Stuart Hanscomb Why did Stuart love this book?

This is a seamless combination of autobiography, psychology, and politics, with an emphasis on the role of emotion – and especially anger – in expressing our views. McGarvey is politically savvy and refreshingly critical of both the left and the right, but for me, it’s the sustained self-reflection and emotional intelligence that makes this book outstanding. He has witnessed how anger, as a default feeling in his community, entrenches positions and limits people’s willingness and ability to understand themselves and listen to others. McGarvey tells how his own story exemplifies this attitude and his account of his awakening is fascinating and educational.

By Darren McGarvey,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Poverty Safari as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Brutally honest and fearless, Poverty Safari is an unforgettable insight into modern Britain, and will change how you think about poverty.

The Sunday Times Top Ten bestseller.
Winner of the Orwell Prize.
Named the most 'Rebellious Read of the 21st Century' in a Scottish Book Trust poll.

Darren McGarvey has experienced poverty and its devastating effects first-hand. He knows why people from deprived communities all around Britain feel angry and unheard. And he wants to explain . . .

So he invites you to come on a safari of sorts. But not the kind where the wildlife is surveyed from…


Book cover of Argument Culture Moving From Debate to Dialogue

Stuart Hanscomb Author Of Critical Thinking: The Basics

From my list on interpersonal communication and influence.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an academic at the University of Glasgow with a background in philosophy and psychology. My approach to critical thinking is broad and informed by several other teaching and research interests: emotional intelligence, the psychology of influence, interpersonal communication, and virtue ethics. Motivating much of what I do is the question: How are we to live well? With respect to critical thinking I don’t just deal with the nature and structure of arguments, but also with the role they play in constructive dialogues, and how poor reasoning is linked to psychological biases and the absence of certain virtues. The books I have chosen here are representative of these concerns.

Stuart's book list on interpersonal communication and influence

Stuart Hanscomb Why did Stuart love this book?

I teach and write on critical thinking, and a branch of this discipline is interested in the role of dialogue in the process of truth-seeking. Discovering this book was huge for me because it discusses in depth so many of the impediments to constructive dialogue that I (and most of us) have encountered. Its subject is the motivational and cultural bases of disagreements and how we value and manage them, and there are of course some sound recommendations for how we can do better by shifting from what has become an automatic adversarial approach to one of ‘meaningful dialogue’.

By Deborah Tannen,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Argument Culture Moving From Debate to Dialogue as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In her number one bestseller, You Just Don't Understand, Deborah Tannen showed why talking to someone of the other sex can be like talking to someone from another world. Her bestseller Talking from 9 to 5 did for workplace communication what You Just Don't Understand did for personal relationships. Now Tannen is back with another groundbreaking book, this time widening her lens to examine the way we communicate in public--in the media, in politics, in our courtrooms and classrooms--once again letting us see in a new way forces that have been powerfully shaping our lives.
        The Argument Culture is about…


Book cover of Social Psychology

Stuart Hanscomb Author Of Critical Thinking: The Basics

From my list on interpersonal communication and influence.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an academic at the University of Glasgow with a background in philosophy and psychology. My approach to critical thinking is broad and informed by several other teaching and research interests: emotional intelligence, the psychology of influence, interpersonal communication, and virtue ethics. Motivating much of what I do is the question: How are we to live well? With respect to critical thinking I don’t just deal with the nature and structure of arguments, but also with the role they play in constructive dialogues, and how poor reasoning is linked to psychological biases and the absence of certain virtues. The books I have chosen here are representative of these concerns.

Stuart's book list on interpersonal communication and influence

Stuart Hanscomb Why did Stuart love this book?

This is one of my favourite textbooks. It came out 20 years after the first edition and is not an update so much as be an entirely different book. Topics include attributional biases, group decision making, nonverbal communication, intergroup hostility, and conflict resolution. He writes in detail and in such an engaging fashion that, very unusually for a textbook, it’s an immersive experience. It’s academically rigorous but his personality, as well as his authority, is continually present through firsthand research, the occasional anecdote, and idiosyncratic inclusions. An example of the latter is his application of the principles of group polarization to the film Twelve Angry Men – a film I love and one of the best resources I know for teaching both social influence and argumentation.

By Roger Brown,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Social Psychology as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Providing a complete new set of information in the second edition, world renowned psychologist Roger Brown provides insight on language and communication, issues of sexual liberation, and equity and altruism in regard to social psychology.

A completely revised book with new organization and topics in comparison to the first volume, Social Psychology evaluates the pros and cons of current arguments in the ever-changing world of psychology.

In a balance of opinion and research in order to activate a flow of relevant memories and introspection, Roger Brown helps readers comprehend abstract concepts and principles in psychology. As each chapter is fully…


Book cover of Constructive Thinking: The Key to Emotional Intelligence

Stuart Hanscomb Author Of Critical Thinking: The Basics

From my list on interpersonal communication and influence.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an academic at the University of Glasgow with a background in philosophy and psychology. My approach to critical thinking is broad and informed by several other teaching and research interests: emotional intelligence, the psychology of influence, interpersonal communication, and virtue ethics. Motivating much of what I do is the question: How are we to live well? With respect to critical thinking I don’t just deal with the nature and structure of arguments, but also with the role they play in constructive dialogues, and how poor reasoning is linked to psychological biases and the absence of certain virtues. The books I have chosen here are representative of these concerns.

Stuart's book list on interpersonal communication and influence

Stuart Hanscomb Why did Stuart love this book?

Ostensibly a book about emotional intelligence, this is in effect an account of Epstein’s theory of the self (see Chapter 3 onwards). I am a strong advocate of ‘dual process’ theories, the idea that we have two minds or modes of thinking, one that is fast, automatic, and reliant on heuristics, and another that is slower, deliberative, and rational. The most famous example of this is in the work of Kahneman and Tversky, who have identified various biases we employ in quick decision making. This understanding is vital for effective critical thinking, but I find Epstein’s notion of an affect-driven ‘experiential’ system to have deeper and more wide-ranging explanatory power. This applies both to self-knowledge, and to how we can engage more constructively with others.

By Seymour Epstein,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Constructive Thinking as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This is a book on how to gain control of one's emotions. It is a serious book that contains a theory of automatic processing it presents and its implications for controlling emotions. Epstein is a professor of personality psychology and a highly regarded research psychologist who has supported his theory with extensive research published in the most demanding professional journals. He was motivated to write the book by the success of a course he taught based on his theory. Students reported obtaining an understanding and control of their emotions that they never thought possible and that they said changed the…


Book cover of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Author Of Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice: The Listening Coach

From my list on our quietest superpower: listening.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listenersour world will change for the better.

Kymberly's book list on our quietest superpower: listening

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did Kymberly love this book?

For anyone tempted to label good listening as “soft skills,” this book will prove you wrong! Even though the book was published in 2010, Goulston positions listening as a vital skill all the more needed in today’s fractious times.

Each chapter is structured with a high-stakes story, “Usable Insights,” and “Action Steps,” with excellent, researched info in between. From the chapter titled “Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone,” I personally learned so much from this book that I could apply to my daily interactions—particularly those with my very argumentative teenage daughter!

By Mark Goulston,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Just Listen as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.

Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.

In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can…


Book cover of Breaking Through: Communicating to Open Minds, Move Hearts, and Change the World

J. Richard Gentry Author Of Brain Words: How the Science of Reading Informs Teaching

From my list on the movement to change teaching reading in English.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a reading educator my mission in life is to give the gift of literacy. Inspiration came from my mother, my first-grade teacher who taught me to read. At 90-plus years old and declining, I dedicated one of my 18 books on teaching literacy to her. She sent me the last letter she would ever write and said, “Oh, oh, oh!”—a quote from Dick and Jane, the book she used to teach reading to three generations of first graders—“I always wanted to write a book but never did. I hope a word of mine is on a page or two of yours.” Her inspiration is on every page.

J.'s book list on the movement to change teaching reading in English

J. Richard Gentry Why did J. love this book?

This book changed my life as a scholar who champions change in how we teach reading.

Susman brilliantly charts the path for anyone who wants to open minds, move hearts, and change the world in any movement or endeavor. She chronicles her own career journey which led her to be the renowned head of corporate affairs at Pfizer during the pandemic and beyond and leaves the reader with a path to follow in their own campaigns for change based on compassion and common sense.

By Sally Susman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Breaking Through as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A Wall Street Journal Bestseller

Pfizer's trailblazing communications leader, Sally Susman, reveals how we can break through the noise to get our message across and make positive change.

A global pandemic. A roller-coaster economy. Political tensions ready to ignite, and common civility at an all-time low. For leaders, the pressures and the stakes could not be higher. And in such a stormy, often dangerous world, communications can no longer be considered a soft skill. The ability to reach people and drive public conversation is a rock-hard competency.

In this wise and inspiring book, Sally Susman, the renowned head of corporate…


Book cover of I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

Lida Citroën Author Of Success After Service: How to Take Control of Your Job Search and Career After Military Duty

From my list on success in a civilian life after the military.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m an executive coach, personal branding consultant, and reputation management expert helping global executives, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders manage how they’re perceived and drive towards ideal opportunities. A long-time passionate supporter of the military, I volunteer to help veterans transitioning to civilian careers. My work with veterans comes from gratitude for their sacrifice. I regularly speak at military installations, podcasts, and events on veteran transition and hiring, teach in the TAP program at the US Air Force Academy, and serve on the Board of Directors at Project Sanctuary, which focuses on healing military families. Since 2012, I’ve also been a writer for Military.com.

Lida's book list on success in a civilian life after the military

Lida Citroën Why did Lida love this book?

There are so many books written about active listening and communications, but not many that focus on what the other person really needs: Validation.

As veterans re-integrate into the civilian workforce and lifestyle, the way they communicate is different from when they were serving in the military, and becoming mindful of how they communicate with others is important. This book will guide them through a key skill (validation) that will help them not only in their career, but also in their personal life. 

By Michael S. Sorensen,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked I Hear You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life?

In this 3-hour, conversational read, you’ll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills available—validation. 

Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship with your spouse, navigate difficult conversations at work, or connect on a deeper level with friends and family, this book delivers simple, practical, proven techniques for improving any relationship in your life.

Mastery of this simple skill will enable you to:

Calm (and sometimes even eliminate) the concerns, fears, and uncertainties of…


Book cover of Let's Talk about Hard Things: The Life-Changing Conversations That Connect Us

Angie Marie Author Of The Cycle Syncing Handbook: Identify Hormonal Patterns, Build Holistic Habits, and Embrace the Power of Your Menstrual Cycle

From my list on books for women who want to live more creatively/with more creativity.

Why am I passionate about this?

In my 20s, after always doing what I was “supposed” to, I found myself trapped in a relationship I wanted out of, in a job that barely paid the bills, and in a mindset of scarcity. After my birth control almost killed me, I dove into the mind-body connection that’s often stifled by sexism and societal expectations, becoming fascinated with pushing against the status quo and living more adventurously. I realized I needed to sincerely take my life decisions into my own hands. Since then, I’ve run ultramarathons, become an entrepreneur, and taught countless menstruators how to listen to their own bodies so they can build a life they love.

Angie's book list on books for women who want to live more creatively/with more creativity

Angie Marie Why did Angie love this book?

When my friend’s dad died suddenly from a pancreatic cancer diagnosis, I had no clue how to help. It felt incredibly awkward, risky, and confusing: Do I text her? Give her space? Ask if she wants a hug. Or say the common, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” (which, it turns out, is not helpful).

Later, I devoured the stories Anna collected about the 5 topics we tend to be hush-hush about death, sex, money, family, and identity. Reading a diverse set of snapshots from the most challenging aspects of being a human made me no longer want to tread lightly around tough conversations. In fact, I want to welcome them.

When my partner’s friend died young, as awkward as it felt to talk about it initially, I knew it was crucial to allow a space to share memories, expose feelings, and verbally process the events. When…

By Anna Sale,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Let's Talk about Hard Things as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the host of the popular WNYC podcast Death, Sex, & Money, Let&;s Talk About Hard Things is an invitation to discuss the tough topics that all of us encounter.

Anna Sale wants you to have that conversation. You know the one. The one that you&;ve been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years. The one that you&;ve thought &;they&;ll never understand&; or &;do I really want to bring that up?&; or &;it&;s not going to go well, so why even try?&;

Sale is the founder and host of WNYC&;s popular, award-winning podcast Death, Sex, & Money, or as the…


Book cover of We Can't Talk about That at Work! How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics

Barbara B. Adams PsyD Author Of Women, Minorities, and Other Extraordinary People: The New Path for Workforce Diversity

From my list on workforce diversity that won’t piss you off.

Why am I passionate about this?

I don’t have a passion for the diversity, equity, and inclusion topic. I have an obligation. When I didn’t see or understand the horrific injustice of systemic oppression, I couldn’t do anything about it. Now that I see it, I cannot ignore it. I’ve become an expert through my work in organizational development. I work with technology, healthcare, financial services and educational services clients around the globe, and in 2016 I founded GAR (Gender, Age, Race) Diversity Consulting. Prior to GAR, I was a director in the National Diversity and Inclusion office at Kaiser Permanente, and I worked for many years as a global management and technology consultant with American Management Systems, Inc (now CGI). 

Barbara's book list on workforce diversity that won’t piss you off

Barbara B. Adams PsyD Why did Barbara love this book?

In the age of Black Lives Matter, and the racial, political, and structural tensions that permeate society, Mary-Frances Winters has written a gift of a book that helps us understand why polarization occurs and how to manage conversations about topics often seen as taboo. She is nothing short of brilliant in explaining how culture embeds itself in people’s perceptions and beliefs. This small yet powerful book provides everything leaders and managers need to learn to create spaces of safety and facilitate dialogue that is meaningful, insightful, and often profound. This is the book we have been waiting for!

By Mary-Frances Winters,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked We Can't Talk about That at Work! How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Instead of shutting down any mention of taboo topics, Mary-Frances Winters shows how to structure intentional conversations about them, so people can safely confront biases and stereotypes and create stronger, more inclusive organizations.

Politics, religion, race - we can't talk about topics like these at work, right? But in fact, these conversations are happening all the time, either in real life or virtually via social media. And if they aren't handled effectively, they can become more polarizing and divisive, impacting productivity, engagement, retention, teamwork, and even employees' sense of safety in the workplace. But you can turn that around and…


Book cover of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Bret Lyon Author Of Embracing Shame: How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally

From my list on healing shame and trauma.

Why am I passionate about this?

I spent many years deeply angry at my parents and not really understanding why. When I found out about shame, and how it was passed down from generation to generation, I was finally able to crack the code. Their “permissiveness” was actually neglect. Without meaning to, they had put their shame on me and I was still suffering from not really being seen. I made it my mission to help others heal their shame so they can be better people and better parents, and live fuller lives. I am the co-director of the Center for Healing Shame and co-author of Embracing Shame.

Bret's book list on healing shame and trauma

Bret Lyon Why did Bret love this book?

I love this book because it says that all conversations take place on 3 different levels. 

There is the content level, the most obvious; the emotional level, how important the subject is and the emotions around it; and the internal level of “what does this conversation say about me,” which is the shame level. This level may be the most important and the most hidden.

By Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Difficult Conversations as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"

We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:

· Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation 
· Start a conversation without defensiveness 
· Listen for the meaning of what is not said 
·…


Book cover of Poverty Safari: Understanding the Anger of Britain's Underclass
Book cover of Argument Culture Moving From Debate to Dialogue
Book cover of Social Psychology

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5 book lists we think you will like!

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