That's Not What I Meant!

By Deborah Tannen,

Book cover of That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

Book description

“Tannen combines a novelist’s ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis....Fascinating.”
—Oliver Sacks, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and The Mind’s Eye

In That’s Not What I Meant!, Deborah Tannen, renowned communication expert and author of the New…

When you buy books, we may earn a commission that helps keep our lights on (or join the rebellion as a member).

Why read it?

1 author picked That's Not What I Meant! as one of their favorite books. Why do they recommend it?

This book really drew me to the power of language because it completely changed the way I think about everyday conversations and their power to shape relationships. Tannen’s exploration of conversational style taught me that it is not just what we say but how we say it that shapes our relationships. Misunderstandings I’d brushed off made sense: the clashes between my need to be direct and others' preference for subtlety, for example, or why certain conversations left me feeling unheard.

This book was empowering and humbling at the same time. It offers a guide to better communication that doesn’t point…

If you love That's Not What I Meant!...

Ad

Book cover of Tap Dancing on Everest: A Young Doctor's Unlikely Adventure

Tap Dancing on Everest by Mimi Zieman,

Tap Dancing on Everest, part coming-of-age memoir, part true-survival adventure story, is about a young medical student, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor raised in N.Y.C., who battles self-doubt to serve as the doctor—and only woman—on a remote Everest climb in Tibet.

The team attempts a new route up…

Want books like That's Not What I Meant!?

Our community of 12,000+ authors has personally recommended 92 books like That's Not What I Meant!.

Browse books like That's Not What I Meant!

Book cover of How Language Works: How Babies Babble, Words Change Meaning, and Languages Live or Die
Book cover of The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do men and women really speak different languages?
Book cover of Language Myths

Share your top 3 reads of 2024!

And get a beautiful page showing off your 3 favorite reads.

1,886

readers submitted
so far, will you?

Ad

📚 If you like That's Not What I Meant!, you might also like...

Book cover of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

Who Is a Worthy Mother? by Rebecca Wellington,

I grew up thinking that being adopted didn’t matter. I was wrong. This book is my journey uncovering the significance and true history of adoption practices in America. Now, in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over women’s reproductive rights places…

Book cover of All They Need to Know

All They Need to Know by Eileen Goudge,

On the run from her abusive husband, Kyra Smith hits the road. Destination unknown. With a dog she rescued in tow, she lands in the peaceful California mountain town of Gold Creek and is immediately befriended by an openhearted group of women who call themselves the Tattooed Ladies. They’re there…

5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in interpersonal communication, conversation, and linguistics?

Conversation 12 books
Linguistics 43 books