100 books like The Optimistic Child

After reading this book, I changed my entire view on how the brain works and how easily those around us can shape us. Dr Perry talks about some of the worst cases of childhood trauma and neglect.

In one story, a boy was raised as a dog, so he grew up believing he was one. This shows how our environment shapes us during our formative years. We are the products of our upbringing; for some, that’s great, but for others, we grow up to tell stories about ourselves that aren’t ours.

So, people never go on to do what they want to in life because they were told they couldn't, and they should have lived their whole lives believing that that statement is true, that the programming they’ve got is reality, which they need to live by.

It is difficult to imagine a more adverse childhood experience than growing up in a refugee camp.

In 2016 and 2017, I was privileged to spend some time working with children and families in a refugee camp in North France. The living conditions were very difficult, with regular food shortages, ill health, uncertainty, and ever-present danger. However,  I was continually amazed by the resilience, creativity, generosity, and humour shown by the children, even in the face of such difficulties.

When Stars Are Scattered is a beautiful children’s book that tells the true story of Omar and his brother Hassan as they grow up in a Kenyan refugee camp. Filled with beautiful illustrations and thoughtful insights into daily life in the camp, this book exemplifies hope in the face of adversity. 

I love that this book is written primarily for parents. It presents the idea that by “flicking the strengths switch” and focusing on children’s many strengths rather than highlighting their weaknesses, parents can enjoy a better relationship with their children, help them develop optimism and resilience, and help protect against anxiety and depression.

It encourages parents to look for the good, become strength spotters, and help children build on positive emotions. However, the book is very nuanced and rejects a simplistic understanding of simply building children’s self-esteem in favour of research-based practices to help children become the best version of themself, especially in tough circumstances.

The book is very readable and filled with practical examples and compelling storytelling. It shows how a small shift in parenting approach can yield strong and lasting benefits for children and for families as a whole.

I am always looking for books that can help children and young adults to understand difficult issues. Endorsed by EmpathyLab, Sold is an extraordinary novel that explores the world of trafficking and modern-day slavery from the perspective of Roza, a fifteen-year-old Albanian girl who comes to the UK expecting a better life but finds herself trapped into a life of domestic servitude.

In this riveting read, Roza exemplifies human resilience, courage, and determination. She is a great example of an individual building on her own strengths and the help of those around her to overcome immense adversity.

Aimed at young adults, this book can also be beneficial to practitioners who can use it to prompt discussion about adversity, human trafficking, and young people’s resilience.

We love the side-by-side pairing of two separate (but inseparable) concepts: a child’s inner needs and a child’s outer life.

Author Stephanie Malia Krauss carefully considers the social, emotional, and environmental factors that can help every child thrive. And because it’s written as a guidebook, Whole Child, Whole Life helps busy parents and teachers get straight to the things that matter most.

Plus, it’s beautifully illustrated by Manuel S. Herrera!

This is the book I’ve been waiting for without realizing it. I found myself nodding, exclaiming out loud, and enthusiastically agreeing with something on almost every single page of this book (which I have annotated heavily!)

I also felt conflicted emotions while reading about some of the detrimental (but well-intentioned) practices of my fellow therapists: inadvertently amplifying trauma, causing children to ruinate on their suffering, and creating greater fragility and anguish in our patients.

Reading this book made me feel like the problems I encounter every day working with adolescents were being recognized on a broad scale, and it also validated a niggling feeling I have about superficial therapy-speak and a culture obsessed with mental health: this is NOT always helpful!

I was also relieved to find practical strategies for developing resilience and confidence in young people in spite of the cultural forces which have undermined these important character traits. 

If you’re a parent, Fowl Language comics are really relatable, almost too relatable.

I think that a lot of stuff on the internet coasts on just being relatable and nothing else, but Brian doesn’t simply present us with a familiar situation, he makes it funny.

The observation isn’t what’s unique, it’s the unexpected joke and comedic tone that makes Brian’s comics so great.

Korczak was a pediatrician, an educator, a champion of children’s rights, the director of orphanages, and much more.

He said, “A child has a right to grief, even if it is for the loss of a pebble.” And he knew about grief.

He cared for orphans in the Warsaw Ghetto, and he accompanied the children to a concentration camp, even though he was offered the chance to escape.

He said, “They children will be scared without me there with them.” He marched with them to the train, carrying a green flag, which was the symbol of his beloved character King Matt, a child king who tried to unite all the children of the world in peace.

He did not survive, but we are very lucky to have his writings. He is my biggest hero, and my biggest inspiration.

Dr. Naumburg’s books, including this one, offer a fresh perspective on parenting.

In this book, she compels parents to practice radical self-compassion. I find her message comforting and welcome, especially in an era when parents get messages from literally everywhere about all of the things they need to do better. Ironically, our feelings of guilt and anxiety about parenting can actually get in the way of good parenting, so finding a way to tune out these voices is important.

Dr. Naumburg is here to tell parents to accept that we are human, that parenting standards are impossibly hard, and that we should be more understanding of ourselves. This just feels really good to hear, especially on the heels of the pandemic, and I think we all need this message.

This is the kind of book I frequently recommend to friends and clients. 

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is an old book but one I wish I had discovered before I had my own kids. I now intend to give it to all of my clients and friends when they become new parents.