100 books like On Our Best Behavior

As someone living in a bigger body, it has taken a lot of active reframing and rewiring to learn to love my body. This book was a huge resource for me in that process. This book introduced me to the concept of “radical self-love” and helped me see some of how I was subconsciously (and consciously) believing that my body was already bad, a problem, not enough, and something I needed to apologize for or be grateful for anyone choosing.

What I also love about this book is that it helps us recognize the ways in which we already have what we need inside of us—we just have to learn how to listen to our own internal radical self-love instead of striving to “fix” ourselves based on what other people tell us we should be. 

Like many women, I struggled with perfectionism for much of my life and believed I always needed to do everything correctly to be accepted, loved, and safe.

I read this book as part of my journey to deconstruct the thought patterns that kept me feeling anxious, people-pleasing everyone, and always feeling bad about myself. This book helped me understand that being “perfect” wasn’t an objectively good thing to try to be, nor was it even possible.

It helped me understand the ways in which trying to be perfect or appear perfect made it impossible to actually be myself and make authentic connections as my true self. 

This was one of the first books I ever read that showed me that there was an intelligent way to do self-help. I have always been interested in how to make it easier and more fulfilling to experience my human life, but I was always allergic to the watered-down or overly simplified takes of many self-help books out there.

But this book was well-reasoned, logical, rational, and smart, and it showed me that it was worthwhile to work on changing my perspective and my thinking without having to be delusional or in denial. It was the gateway book I needed at my most skeptical to start down the path of emotional and mental growth and self-improvement that transformed my life. 

This book was such a breath of fresh air for the self-help and wellness community! As a coach, I’m exposed to a lot of wellness nonsense all the time, and I appreciate any work that is focused on both illuminating how structural forces impact our lives and helping empower people to live their best lives within those constraints.

I try to strike a nuanced balance in my own work, and this book does a great job of interrogating what we mean by “wellness,” what kinds of social forces impact and limit our “wellness,” and how we can nevertheless learn to take care of ourselves in radical and deeply important ways. 

The acknowledged father of existentialism actually makes anxiety interesting (if you’re into that sort of thing.) Not for sissies.

This book is full of stories, using case studies that include the lives of Walt Whitman, Saint Augustine, and Russian writer Leo Tolstoy—that I found fascinating. Here psychologist William James challenges what he—and I—were both taught: namely, that religions are primarily childish fantasies (the view of Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis, in The Future of an Illusion). But after James, as a young man, experienced a terrifying depression, he describes his surprise at what felt to him like a spiritual breakthrough that enabled him to recover. James skips questions about dogma and belief, instead identifies a range of different “varieties of religious experience” that, far more than “belief,” can give rise to spiritual insight. 

This book is all about relationships. It is about a relationship with God and his people and that we are certainly more alike than different. Woman Evolve takes the reader through the story of Eve and shows the reader just how she is relatable to each and every one of us. Eve was human and we are human. She had flaws and we have flaws. Her vulnerabilities are also ours and before we point the blame at her, or anyone else for that matter we can look right back at ourselves and understand how each and every one of us doesn’t necessarily deserve redemption, but God gave it anyway. Want a good read, this book will keep you turning page after page as the reader and author explores just how fallible, alike, and loved we all are.

Humans are inherently superstitious. Even those of us who think of ourselves as scientists will ‘touch wood’ after saying something, or avoid walking under ladders. But why? In this book, Hood argues that these behaviors, and more complex beliefs like religion, develop as a byproduct of something our brains do that is vital for human survival—finding patterns. This is one of the first pop-sci books on psychology I read, and I clearly remember seeing Hood deliver a talk about it while I was at University. It helped stoke my curiosity about the topic, and how our incredible brains can drive such complex and nuanced behaviours. It is still one of my favourites over 10 years later. 

I was immediately captivated by the refreshing, down-to-earth advice offered here. Put down the barbells (real and metaphorical), says the author, and stop beating yourself up for carrying more than the minimum body fat, and emotionally dependent, angry at your father after all these years, and less than perfect on the job or in a marriage. Stop trying to rid your existence of all its problems, which will never happen anyway, and relish life instead.

He laments that we try so hard to be healthy, to improve ourselves, to be something that we are not already, that we miss much of the pleasure found in the small details of everyday life. I found this to be too true!

 A vital message that I gleaned from Care of the Soul: our lives, families, marriages – however good or bad they are – don't require a complete, total reconstruction. There are… show more.

My favorite anthropologist, Tanya Luhrmann, always has fascinating insights about how people come to believe what they believe. In this book, she argues that today’s Christian converts—much like the medieval saints I write about—must learn the art of prayer through intentional training.

We often think of praying as a solitary pursuit, but she demonstrates that this spiritual discipline can only be taught and learned in community. Luhrmann uses both in-depth interviews and ingenious scientific experiments to explore how this happens.