Here are 100 books that Listening Is an Act of Love fans have personally recommended if you like
Listening Is an Act of Love.
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I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listeners—our world will change for the better.
For anyone tempted to label good listening as “soft skills,” this book will prove you wrong! Even though the book was published in 2010, Goulston positions listening as a vital skill all the more needed in today’s fractious times.
Each chapter is structured with a high-stakes story, “Usable Insights,” and “Action Steps,” with excellent, researched info in between. From the chapter titled “Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone,” I personally learned so much from this book that I could apply to my daily interactions—particularly those with my very argumentative teenage daughter!
Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.
Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.
In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can…
I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listeners—our world will change for the better.
One of the most powerful benefits of skilled listening is building trust. Empathy is essential to creating trusting relationships. Jamison is a trained actor, and deep listening and empathy are essential to the craft of acting.
This book spans her experiences, from her work in medical training to her research on incarceration, reality TV, and street violence. I was struck by the heartfulness and clarity in Jamison's writing about what she has witnessed and experienced. She pulls no punches.
The stories in this book provide a clarion call for our species to regain our empathy for each other through skilled and intentional listening to connect, extend understanding, and ensure our survival.
From personal loss to phantom diseases, The Empathy Exams is a bold and brilliant collection, winner of the Graywolf Press Nonfiction Prize
A Publishers Weekly Top Ten Essay Collection of Spring 2014
Beginning with her experience as a medical actor who was paid to act out symptoms for medical students to diagnose, Leslie Jamison's visceral and revealing essays ask essential questions about our basic understanding of others: How should we care about each other? How can we feel another's pain, especially when pain can be assumed, distorted, or performed? Is empathy a tool by which to test or even grade…
I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listeners—our world will change for the better.
If I could have a crush on a balding conservative with bad teeth, I would have a crush on David Brooks. I may not always agree with his NYT opinions, but I can’t dispute that he is an author of deep curiosity and integrity.
As a journalist, his focus on making the other person feel seen, heard, and understood would seem to be part of his toolkit. But what I most appreciate about Brooks, the storyteller, is his ability to share himself not as an expert in the topic of listening but as a curious and resourceful guide.
The terrain here varies as he interviews practitioners in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, theatre, philosophy, education, and more. Throughout the book, he relays the mistakes and foibles in his own listening journey. I felt encouraged to learn and grow alongside him. David Brooks is a writer with immense stores of compassion,…
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us…
Tap Dancing on Everest, part coming-of-age memoir, part true-survival adventure story, is about a young medical student, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor raised in N.Y.C., who battles self-doubt to serve as the doctor—and only woman—on a remote Everest climb in Tibet.
I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listeners—our world will change for the better.
Listening is an “assumed” skill that does not receive its fair share of attention. I love Kate Murphy’s strong, resounding voice in this terrific book! She grabs my attention and sets me straight on why listening is a highly effective superpower—quite a radical notion in our ever-noisier world.
With plenty of real-life examples of everyday people who employ advanced listening skills, Murphy makes a strong case for the need to intentionally refine our listening. She also provides me with effective and interesting tools to help with that development.
Key takeaway: Kate Murphy is an excellent storyteller. Just because she is a “listening activist” doesn’t mean she can’t tell insightful and often quite humorous stories!
'BRILLIANT' Chris Evans, Virgin Radio Breakfast Show
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?
This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever.
At work, we're taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We're not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus…
Mothering a child with special needs was a journey I didn’t expect to be taking and one that has been immensely challenging. I am always seeking ways to become my best self and the best mother I can be, helping my children be their best selves. I want my children to feel supported, loved, and like they can be their truest, fullest selves. These books helped me connect with my children in the ways that were the most helpful, impactful, and loving. They guided me in running a Son-Rise Program, which was by far the most influential thing I ever did to help my daughter with autism and developmental delays.
I was so deeply moved and inspired by reading this book that, even as a young student in college, I almost hoped I would have a child with autism so that I could have the experience of running a Son-Rise Program. I loved how Bears and Samahria charted their own course when there were no mapped parenting paths that appealed to them. I loved their optimism, love, joy, and determination.
They decided not to stop Raun’s repetitive behaviors but used those behaviors as the bridge to connection, whereas the professionals seeing Raun at the time wanted to stop the behaviors so that they could force Raun to connect. The forcing didn’t work, but joining the behaviors brought miraculous changes.
What moved me the most was how much Raun changed and grew in response to the internal work Bears and Samahria did to be clear and present. They invited Raun to…
In 1979, the classic best-seller Son-Rise was made into an award-winning NBC television special, which has been viewed by 300 million people worldwide. Now, Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues presents an expanded and updated journal of Barry and Samahria Kaufman's successful effort to reach their once "unreachable" autistic child. Part one documents Raun Kaufman's astonishing development from a lifeless, autistic, retarded child into a highly verbal, lovable youngster with no traces of his former condition. Part two details Raun's extraordinary progress from the age of four into young adulthood. Part three shares moving accounts of five families that successfully used the…
As a longtime outdoors editor of a Mississippi newspaper, I actually got paid to paddle local rivers. Over the decades, I expanded my territory to adjacent states, the South, the continent, and other countries. I parlayed my experiences into several books on rivers. As a paddler and writer, I naturally love to read about adventures on the water–not only classics like Mark Twain's Life on the Mississippi River and Paul Theroux's Happy Isles of Oceania but also the many less-known but highly praiseworthy books like those listed here.
I grew up near the Mississippi River, and my father and older brother worked on it for many years, so I was thrilled to run across this in-depth look at the world they inhabited. As the wife of a riverboat pilot, Melody Golding had unparalleled access to the inner workings of river life.
Over the course of a decade, she interviewed more than 100 men and women and let them tell their own stories. An acclaimed photographer, she illustrated this project with fabulous color photos. Thanks to her, I got to ride along the vessels that ply the Mississippi and other waterways, just like my dad and brother once did.
Life Between the Levees is a chronicle of first-person reflections and folklore from pilots who have dedicated their lives to the river. The stories are as diverse as the storytellers themselves, and the volume is full of drama, suspense, and a way of life a "landlubber" could never imagine. Although waterways and ports in the Mississippi corridor move billions of dollars of products throughout the US and foreign markets, in today's world those who live and work on land have little knowledge of the river and the people who work there.
In ten years of interviewing, Melody Golding collected over…
The Truth About Unringing Phones
by
Lara Lillibridge,
When Lara was four years old, her father moved from Rochester, New York, to Anchorage, Alaska, a distance of over 4,000 miles. She spent her childhood chasing after him, flying a quarter of the way around the world to tug at the hem of his jacket.
After I was sent for a breast biopsy in 2008, my twin sister and I began the very real work of researching our closed adoption. My health, my sister’s, and our collective six children depended upon it. For nearly five decades, I had placed my adoption in an internal lockbox, one I had promised myself I would get to “one day.” At 48, that day had finally come. Concurrent with my search, I absorbed many of the books I mention here. These works became foundational in how I came to view my adoption, and they provided the support I needed during the search and reunion process.
Because of my own work as an adoption writer and advocate for open adoption records, I knew each of these writers from webinars, podcasts, conferences, and social media. Combining their varied backgrounds and experiences–Sara is an adoptee, Kelsey is a birth parent, and Lori is an adoptive parent–was thrilling to read.
I devoured each of the thoughtful interviews and the candid responses the authors compiled and presented. Like these authors, I believe that by working together with truth and transparency, it is possible to move adoption forward toward a healing place.
Reveals the candid thoughts and feelings of those most directly involved in adoptions: the adoptee, the adopters, and the birth parents.
Adoption Unfiltered authors Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent) interview more than 30 adoptees, 20 birth parents, a dozen adoptive parents, and several industry professionals-all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption. While finding common ground in the sometimes-contentious space of adoption may seem like a lofty goal, it reveals the authors' optimistic aim: working together with truth and transparency to move toward healing.
I am passionate about words and reading, and I love books that examine and record the chaos and mayhem of human existence. When I think about why I don’t want to die, it’s mainly because I can't bear the thought of missing out on what happens next. I feel privileged to be alive during this strange, fraught time of epochal change and to be able to use my skills as a writer to record not just the facts of what happens but how it feels to witness it all, the sensibility of our time, the recording of which is, I believe, the essence of great literature.
This is a book about the real-life effects of the work of the character in the first book I recommended.
I loved it because, as a journalist confronting for the first time in my career, large-scale distrust in agreed upon reality (“fake news”), the stories of societal crackup in post-Soviet, disinformation-addled Russia form the ultimate cautionary tale.
In the new Russia, even dictatorship is a reality show. Professional killers with the souls of artists, would-be theater directors turned Kremlin puppet-masters, suicidal supermodels, Hell's Angels who hallucinate themselves as holy warriors, and oligarch revolutionaries: welcome to the glittering, surreal heart of twenty-first-century Russia. It is a world erupting with new money and new power, changing so fast it breaks all sense of reality, home to a form of dictatorship--far subtler than twentieth-century strains--that is rapidly rising to challenge the West. When British producer Peter Pomerantsev plunges into the booming Russian TV industry, he gains access to every nook…
I have been researching the changes in the workplace for 40 years now. The steady move over that time has been away from a situation where employers controlled the development of their “talent” and managed it carefully, especially for white-collar workers, toward arrangements that are much more arms-length where employees are on their own to develop their skills and manage their career. Most employees now see at least some management practices that just don’t make sense even for their own employer–casual approaches to hiring, using “leased employees” and contractors, who are paid more, to do the same work as employees, leaving vacancies open, and so forth.
This is a classic oral history of jobs in what older people call “the good old days.” It is told from the perspective of the individuals doing the jobs they were talking about, and it reveals how interesting their day-to-day experience is.
The reminder for today, especially in our remote workplaces, is how important relationships with people at work are to our happiness and well-being. It’s also a reminder of how important it is for people to have some control over what they do and to feel invested in their work.
People want to do things well and take pride in what they do. We forget all this when we think of workers as widgets to be optimized.
Perhaps Studs Terkel's best-known book, Working is a compelling, fascinating look at jobs and the people who do them. Consisting of over one hundred interviews conducted with everyone from gravediggers to studio heads, this book provides a timeless snapshot of people's feelings about their working lives, as well as a relevant and lasting look at how work fits into American life.
Fourteen is a coming-of-age adventure when, at the age of 14, Leslie and her two sisters have to batten down the hatches on their 45-foot sailboat to navigate the Pacific Ocean and French Polynesia, as well as the stormy temper of their larger-than-life Norwegian father.
I first heard about Melungeons when a babysitter told me they would “git” me if I didn’t behave. She said they lived in caves outside our East Tennessee town and had six fingers on each hand. I consigned these creatures to myth and nightmares, until a cousin informed me that some of our shared ancestors were Melungeons and showed me scars from the removal of his extra thumbs. For the next ten years I visited sites related to Melungeons and interviewed many who claimed Melungeon ancestry, running DNA tests on some. This research yielded my memoir Kinfolks: Falling Off The Family Tree and my historical novel Washed In The Blood.
Overbay grew up at the epicenter of Melungeon settlement in Hancock County, Tennessee. She attended the Vardy school, built for Melungeon children (who as descendants of “free people of color” weren’t allowed to attend public schools) by Presbyterian missionaries. This state-of-the-art school far surpassed in its facilities and offerings those of the local public schools, and it turned out several generations of accomplished young people. This book includes riveting oral histories about daily life in a Melungeon community and about the educational theories that inspired those who directed the school.
Windows on the Past: The Cultural History of Vardy features oral histories and images of Melungeon daily life such as church gatherings and family activities by focusing on the Vardy Community School, a Presbyterian mission school, and the Vardy Community Church. A vivid description of the community and its historical buildings is included as the interviewees discuss the classroom environment and teaching activities within the school. The impact of the school's staff and the spiritual and community leaders is also emphasized. Relative to these stories is the Vardy Community Historical Society, Inc., a group formed to restore Vardy landmarks and…
