My favorite books about mothers and daughters surviving the trauma of war together

A National Book Award winner, this amazing book by a Black historian traces the life of a single object—a cotton sack dating to the 1850s, given by an enslaved woman named Rose to her daughter Ashley—handed down through three generations of women whose lives unfold within the continuous every day “war” of slavery and opppression. 

Mothers and daughters, whose bonds survive Civil War and a peace that does not free them, defy separation and continue against all odds. All That She Carried, among all the books I read as research for my Civil War-era novel, stands out for its imaginative sweep and its fidelity to history.

I loved Waltzing With The Dragons for its autobiographical sense of history and description of mother/daughter bonds that are truly universal. 

The story begins in 1922 with Ly, the daughter of one of the last Mandarins in north Vietnam, who flees an arranged marriage at thirteen to stay with her father’s friends, a French couple, and lives through the WWII Japanese occupation, finally fleeing to the South where she falls in love with a French Army doctor and gives birth to a daughter, Mai-Tam, in 1952. 

Mai-Tam, who is Eurasian and never feels she belongs, grows up in the shadow of the American-Vietnam war. The novel ends in 1967, preserving a mother-daughter kinship that sustains migration and separation. 

An amazing imaginative blend of nonfiction and reportage, The Postcard sets a mystery in motion.

In 2003, with the rest of the Christmas holiday mail, a postcard arrives at the Paris home of Annie Berest. The card is blank but for the names of her maternal great-grandparents and their two children – all killed at Auschwitz. 

Fifteen years later, Annie and her chain-smoking mother embark on a journey: discovering the fates of the Rabinovitch family who flee the Russian revolution for Latvia, Palestine, and Paris. Annie and her mother discover secrets that shatter the present; mother and daughter question the past and accept a new reality in their own distinct ways. 

I loved both the mystery revealed and the unshakable resolve of these women, who spent years finding the truth.

Many of us remember when we first read Little Women, the classic wartime story of four sisters raised by their wise Marmee while their absent father ministers to Civil War soldiers. 

Everyone knows of Little Women, but how recently have you read it? Adults read differently than children or teens, and this annotated version gives us the specifics of the time and the factual background of Louisa May Alcott’s struggle to write and to find a publisher. Her mother’s fortitude had much to do with “Jo’s” strength and persistence.

Context comes alive, thanks to the additions to the text, with an excellent Introduction by Anne Boyd Rious and a Foreword by Patti Smith.  

A nominee for the 2020 Booker Prize, The Shadow King opens at the end of WWII as Italy prepares to invade almost undefended Ethopia, whose communications depend on long-distance runners. 

Orphaned Hirut feels her mother’s absence, yet rises from a lowly maid to a position of power as she inspires other women to openly and secretly resist an overwhelming colonial power. This matrilineal story set in a patriarchial society at war has many interwoven tales. I found it captivating, and the focus on relationships between women at war was a fractured mirror of my own concerns as I completed my novel set during America’s Civil War